Nobody said it was easy

Transition isnt that hard

Its been a month since i have done a proper post so here it is. After ORD-ing, life pretty much becomes very dull and not happening at all. Yes i do get alot of free time on hand now but i realised i dont really have much to do. Went to china a few weeks back and yeah it was definitely fun there and i bought a couple of things. Nonetheless things are pretty much the same when i come back. Eat play sleep. I need a job soon and needlessly to say, get my body clock back to waking up early. I dont really know what my brain wants from me but i have been getting nightmares recently. And they have been revolving the one fear i have in reality: to go off without saying goodbye. Not that im not afraid of death but honestly im scared to die suddenly without saying a goodbye speech or something. 

Or maybe i have to playing too much zombie games lately such that i get so obsessed with killing until i get killed myself in my dreams lol. Be it L4D on the com or Dead Trigger on the phone, its about survival of the fittest yknow. Its like who can play the longest rather than who can survive the longest. Lol. But when i start these zombie games means that i havent been thinking straight lately. Things are running through my mind such that i have to go kill zombies over and over again to distract myself. I hate doing that cos at the end of the day, you realised that yes, you have successfully distracted yourself, but hey, you lost the whole day too.

Oh sidetracking, i think that its the time of the year again where you do all your reflections on what have you done in this year and how you are gonna improve in the next year. Well well, at least in this year i have picked up the courage to do certain things so that i wont die regretting not doing them. Maybe it seems like a simple action or nothing at all to the other party but it really means alot to me. So thank you thank you. Oh oh and everyone seems to be getting together with their other halves! Well im happy to stay by my own half and that i wish that you all will too. Love is not about being there for your half all the time, or buying presents at every anniversary, bla bla bla. I think love is seeing that your other half is happy, you will be happy. No matter whether you are there anot, it doesnt matter. As long as he/she is happy you will be. The rest that are single, suck it up single is good too. LOL

ORD lo!

Im not a guy who is good with words or likes to praise people over nothing. I find it pointless to say sweet/nice stuff to people just because I need to be the good guy and thus "obliged" to treat them well. Aint nobody got time for that! So for those who think that Im pacifing yall, bitch please, Im not so free to give people praises can. And because of this, I dont say sweet things to my gf and those mushy mushy stuff that all guys seem to do. I dont know how ying feels about this but regardless, Im not changing. I guess this says much about my character but... No I cant change.

Well im only left with 2 more days in the army and as much as I would want to get out of this hell hole, I will definitely miss my guys. No matter what, they are the ones who made tekong a much better place to work in despite all the fucked up bosses you can have. I appreciate all of their help they have rendered to me in my term and I hope things will still run well and they stay just as badass as I have taught them. XD Anyways before I ord, I finally went for a last round of crabbing in tekong and although we got just 6 crabs out of the long hours over the night we have spent, I believed for those who helped, we felt good hahaha. And the chilli crabs were awesome! 

Last thing on my mind... Well friends. It hurts me to have any form of argument or dispute among us, especially for friends that I have held dear to me for so many fucking years. I try my best to be less serious and less anal about things when Im around them, but they just get jumpy whenever things dont go their way. Do I not mean anything to you? Im just sick and tired of this "important to you anot" crap. If you arent trying, then I will stop trying to keep this friendship. Cos WHERE GOT TIME????