What if there was a World of Service?

There is a scripture that reads when you are in the service of your fellow beings you are only in the service of your God.

So what does it mean to truly serve?

About a month and a half ago I was talking to a friend of mine about some things and he encouraged me to dive in and serve more. He encouraged me to focus more on others and other things and my perspective of life would change. We had also just listened to someone talk about service so I decided to take his challenge and jump in.

There are moments I struggle but the blessing of it definitely outweighs the struggle. As I have looked for serviceable moments it has reminded me of great parents who taught me a life of service. My mom is always cooking something for someone or visiting with a friend in need or buying the perfect gift for that friend who would just love it. My dad has always been one to see to others needs and is often seen being that good example to young men in the ward and neighborhood and sacrificing many hours of time on their behalf.

Yesterday provided a few different experiences that led to these thoughts. We were asked to come to the church and put bark around the trees and bushes. Not a lot of people came but I enjoyed talking with the people who did come. One thing that struck me was seeing parents bring their little children to the service project. Some of them had gloves and lil rakes and were so excited to be apart of the help. It made me grateful for parents teaching their children to develop a life of service. I was taught at a young age like them and will always be endebted for being taught this act. I thought how would this life be if everyone could grasp the concept of serving others.

After the service project I went home to make treats for the multistake dance. When I saw there was a post on facebook asking for anyone and everyone to donate food for the cause and they weren't even connected to the dance I could tell they were desperate. I had earned a few extra dollars on my paycheck for some mileage reimbursement. I should have put the extra towards my debt but instead decided to bake some variety of treats for the dance. However I was on the craziest time crunch ever and had to go to the crazy Wal Mart. I raced thru the store picked up my numerous items to bake and raced to the checkout. Just as I was pulling out my wallet it slipped out of my hands and everything in my wallet flew everywhere. I instantly thought you gotta be kidding me!I don't have time for this. As soon as the thoughts were there I looked down and saw a little boy maybe six or seven yrs old maybe even five already on the ground scrambling to pick up the contents of my wallet. It was the cutest and most touching thing in the moment. I thanked him and his parents who had a combined look of pride and astonishment towards their son. Again I thought what would this world be like if we were all a little more serviceable?


Later at the dance I asked if they needed help cleaning up afterwards and was told YES PLEASE!!!!! So I stayed. After the outskirt foyers were cleaned I noticed we had the big gym to clean still. This guy myself and another lady set off to tackle the task. At first I was in my own lil world working away but before long I looked up and saw a handful of people maybe ten to fifteen people sitting around laughing and joking among themselves and watching us work. We worked on that gym floor for an hour while our audience looked on. I thought of others working in other parts of the building trying to get things done and I thought of the two previous experiences that day and again thought what would the world be like if we were all a little more serviceable and was grateful that there are people in this world who do just jump in and serve. I am grateful for the friends and family who remind me of the importance of living my life in service.

One day if I am privledged to raise children of my own I hope to instill in them a desire and a longtime commitment to providing service. I hope they will show up to service projects with eagerness or jump down and eagerly help someone in need. I hope I can find someone who is willing to serve like my friend reminded me to do. There truly is no greater feeling then knowing you are following the example of Christ and living a committed life of service towards other. I hope I can continue to not only serve but always have a positive attitude about serving. I also hope when a service opportunity arises we can all have the thought: What would the world be like if we all jumped in and served? Then I hope we all jump in with willing hearts and hands and attitudes and make this crazy place a better place for all of us to live in!

Random Thoughts from a Random Girl

Burning Fire of Memories

You came into my life for such a brief moment

Then as quickly as you came you had to leave

The experience might be forced to live dormant

However, the changes in my life cannot be deceived

You reminded me to laugh, to smile, to live, but most importantly to be me

Because of you there will forever be a burning fire of memories

Burning brighter and brighter until I am what you could always see

We don’t always know why life takes us down the paths we travel

Or why we meet the people we do in the moment we do

It seems as if the threads of life that brought us together will forever unravel

And that moment will be blinded by a jaded view

But, you reminded me to laugh, to smile, to live, but most importantly to be me

Because of you there will forever be a burning fire of memories

Burning brighter and brighter until I am what you could always see

This moment in time may not be relived

And what we shared may never be shared again

Some well say with time this moment will be outlived

But I know no matter the case it won’t be forgotten

Cause, you reminded me to laugh, to smile, to live, but most importantly to be me

Because of you there will forever be a burning fire of memories

Burning brighter and brighter until I am what you could always see



Changes Good? Say What???!!!!!

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you put your all into it? Like literally your ALL? I did! I wanted something so badly and the more I prayed about it the stronger the confirmation that I was going in the right direction so I put my ALL in to it. Physically, emotionally, mentally, and yes even financially! For four years I went for something and in the end I ended up broken. Broken in so  many ways that its hard to put it all into words. And due to this, CHANGE came into my life! A year and a half ago if you told me change would be good I would have laughed at you amid the many tears that flowed when I realized all that I had put my energy into would never be! I would have said "I don't want change!" "Change is hard"

Yes change has been hard and the road I have traveled has not been easy but I have been going down a journey of growth and rediscovery that's indescribable. Once I was back on my feet I created a mantra: TAKING BACK MY LIFE! My sister in law changed it to: REGAINING PERSPECTIVE OF LIFE because she said my life was never taken away from me. (Though I'm not gonna lie, there were many moments when I felt it was)

I decided with this new life mantra I was going to start doing things I have wanted to do but kept putting off. I would face some of my fears and begin to look at life thru new eyes with new opportunities.

This has been  my journey thus far:

 

 

I wanted to start with something huge! Something to push myself into this change. I decided to face my fears of height and repel off a waterfall! My amazing family and friends aka my support team all gathered together for this huge event:

 

 The water was closer then this picture shows!

It was AWESOME! 

 I did it! :)

It was scary exciting exhilarating all in one! After that I decided I wanted more for my life! I wanted to prove to myself that I can endure hard things and with time all wounds can heal. Even if some things take longer then others.

So with 2 foot surgeries and a broken heart checked off my list I decided I want to run! REALLY?????????

The last time I had actually run was in Junior High! I will let you figure just how long ago that was! :) Due to some physical complications at that time I had stopped running and never picked it up again!

When I told my family I had a goal to run the Poky 5K my older brother jokingly commented that the only thing that would get me thru the finish line was if some one was dangling a coke in front of me the whole time lol

 

Well without the coke in front of me lol I set off to see what I could do. I had a friend show me some great techniques!

 





Gustavo thanks for being a great inspiration to all you come in contact with!

 

I ran the above race then I set off to run the Poky race! My sis in law ran beside me to coach me a long the way! I had a few friends sign up to the race as well and my older brother ran beside us video taping the run! Warning race pictures are never the prettiest but this was the Poky race:

 video camera man :)

 My other mentor encouraging me at my side :)

 My friends who ran the race as well

 Ankle brace and all I DID IT! :)

 What a great team! :)

 Mom coming to watch me :)

 Other sis in law coming to watch :)

 

After I did the race and realized I had beat my goal, it helped me to see that change can be positive and worthwhile! So my desire to improve grew and I decided to challenge myself some more! My amazing friend who has been thru EVERYTHING with me since moving to Utah decided she wanted to run as well so she motivated me to keep running! We signed up for a race got out our running shoes mapped a course and practiced our lil running hearts out!

 

 

We had a great run! Thanks Kara for showing me my potential in all! You always have a way of showing me I am worth something! :)

 

I then hiked the Tetons that has been talked about a ton already lol and then I went back to Poky a year later from the first race to see if I really had made changes and the results were: YES!!

 



I am the funniest runner ever, but here is the finish line!:) I still need to work on so much!

I took almost a minute off my time from the previous year!

Then some great co-workers encouraged me to run the dirty dash with them! A 10K obstacle course thru the mud!

 BEFORE

 AFTER

 

FINISH STRONG OR GO HOME! Right? lol

 

And now we come to yesterdays experience which brought on this blog post! I have another friend who has supported my races as a spectator and taken the pictures. She approached me after the dirty dash and said lets run a race together! So we signed up then I found out about my foot! A lot of people told me not to run but I couldn't let her down and I was running for other people yesterday! It was to support breast cancer awareness but I ran to support cancer in general!

Gerri Miller: lost her fight to pancreatic cancer March 1992 -  miss you grandma

Kim Simons: survived thyroid cancer finding out about it while pregnant with twins - love you mom

Linda Hayes: Has survived two bouts of breast cancer on both sides - thanks for helping my mom find the gospel and being there for my family!

 

Yesterdays race was hard,not gonna lie about that one! My foot was hurting and the hills were not easy! As I was starting the climb I thought to myself why am I doing this? But then I got to the top and was descending when it hit me! The thought came to me, could you have done that a year and a half ago? And I probably couldn't have done it! It was then as I was running that I started to ponder all the changes I have gone thru! I have been thru a lot the last few years and especially the last year and half!

 Took 34 secs off from my 2nd Poky race! :)

We did it Aly! :)

 

Changes come to all of us! It's inevitable! The horrible part at times is how they come! Mine came from being broken and made to feel I was worthless and would never be good enough for anyone. From thinking I would never amount to anything that someone would find interest in! Even thou the change came thru the most painful of ways I am so grateful for the rediscovering I have been finding in myself! I am rediscovering 1. THAT I AM WORTH IT! 2. THAT I CAN ACCOMPLISH GREAT THINGS 3. THAT EVEN THOU OTHERS HURT US, WE DON'T HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT!

 

Sure, I wish I could tell you I have also found someone who thinks that I am just as amazing as I am rediscovering for myself but not yet! And that's OK! :) Really, it is! My life isn't about what others think of me or make me feel! My life is about me and feeling good about myself! My life is about finding joy in my journey here on earth and accepting whatever lies in front of me! My life is about surrounding myself with these amazing people and so many more that have come into my life the past year! My life is about setting goals for myself and striving to accomplish them!

 

Changes are hard! Changes are no fun! This past week I endured yet another change! Sometimes letting go of things can be the hardest challenge of all about the change! But by letting go we are only opening up ourselves for a beautiful journey of rediscoveries! So embrace the change! Love the change! And always remember we are never alone thru the changes of life! Find your support team, push yourself to greater heights, and keep putting one foot in front of the other!

 

You might just rediscover the person you always had the potential to be! And that's the greatest CHANGE of all! So is change good? If you look for the positives of it then YES IT IS!!! :) 







Ultimate Cat Lover? Say What?

Once I started mending more from the broken heart I realized it was time to put myself out there again and start seeings who available and broaden my horizons. After another failed relationship which with that one I should have gone with my gut feeling on and never let progress but we know me and I tend to give everyone the benefit of the doubt I decided I needed a new route. Not gonna lie but its not the easiest to find a soulmate per say when you live in Provo Utah and 32 and single. Everyone under the sun had been pushing me towards on-line dating. The push started right after the heartache came. People didn't want to see me in so much pain and agony. I just couldn't bring myself to do it but then almost 6 months ago I decided to take the plunge and enter into the virtual world of on-line dating. The following is what I found:

First let me tell you about my profile! My amazing photography friend Kenna took my picture during an activity we had. She secretly did a mini photoshoot of me while teaching a lesson and using me as her example. What can I say we are clever. P.S. my dear friend if you ever read this I'd love to see the other pictures hint hint. :) Anywho she fell in love with this picture because she tells me she did not do any touch ups to it at all. This is straight off the camera and she said it totally needed to be my profile picture:

So after placing the picture I had to TALK about myself! Really???? This is something I struggle with but since I was going to do this I decided I had to put my all out there. I decided to let people know where I stand religiously and what I my interest where.

SO................ My profile screamed of the following rather clearly:

 

1. It stated not only am I a mormon but I'm a die hard molly mormon. Like one of those mormons who attends the temple regularly because she works there one night a week. Like not only do I attend church but I actually stay for all 3 hours and on top of that I do my best to fulfill my calling to the best of my ability and attend meetings on Sunday and throughout the week.

 

2. It talked of my mission and how important it was to me and the impact it had on my life.

 

3. It talked about my interest of how I enjoy the outdoors and my love of hiking and being in the mountains. It talked of my obsession of waterfalls and how I like to search them out. It talked about my enjoyment of snowshoeing in the winter.

 

4. It talked about how I was trying to run more and wanted to become better. Basically that I want to be able to learn to run with great stride not waddle when I run. I know you are all picturing that right now! Yep, thats how I run lol

 

 

5. It talked about my LOVE of hockey and how I get excited over the fighting and the more fighting the better. What can I say, Im a lil' crazy :)

 



As you can see I was trying to show a well rounded picture of me. I may have threw in there my love of baking and reading and watching movies. Another friend read my profile after it was done and she stated, this profile describes you perfectly. If you would have had me writing it, this is what i would have written.

 

So........... based on the responses I have gotten let me ask you, where in my profile does it scream:

 

1. Yes, please send me requests to get to know you if you are 50 something and older. I always wanted a second daddy!!!! Really?

 

2. Yes, you lovingly holding your CAT in your PROFILE PICTURE really excites me! I've always wanted to be a cat lady and be second in line to your feline!!! Really?

3. Yes Mr. Cat Lovers (yes plural I have had 2 different cat lover requests) your interesting mustaches and mullet hairs and shorter shorts are just what turns me on!!! Really?

 

4. Yes, reading your ENTIRE PROFILE and only learning about your video games and your scores on your video games wants me to respond so we can what? Hook up and watch you play video games? Really?

 

5. Yes, I want to respond after reading your profile where you stated I've been with many women in my life and I know just what a women wants. You respond to me and I will give you a night you won't forget in and outside of bed!!! Really? (Not gonna lie this one really disgusted me. Especially being a LDS site)

 

6. I only want to date women who are physically fit and strive daily to keep up the curvy figure!!!!! Really? You want me to write back because why? I'm not physically fit tho working on it but why do I want to be in a relationship where this is a requirement?

 

AND FINALLY...

7. Yes, I want to move to Peru or Africa or Zimbabwe even tho you do not have a job because true love is all that matters and as long as I am in your arms and able to kiss you daily life is a perfect bliss!!! Really?

 

Now I have had people tell me that I am to picky. Am I? Is it to much to ask for someone who has a job? Is it to much to ask for someone who doesn't go against my standards and wants me in bed with them on the FIRST night? Now we all know I above most people don't worry to much about age, but 50 something and older? Is it to much to ask for someone between the ages of me and my siblings and maybe slightly younger or slightly older but not someone who is going to now be BFF's with my parents? We all know I love pets and I miss my lil dog terribly and I want to own a dog some day but having it share your space on your profile picture and you are the man? I get loving cats. Don't get me wrong there. It shows a sweet caring side but WITH YOU IN THE PICTURE AS THE FIRST THING SOMEONE SEES???



 

Above all is it to much to simply ask for a manly man, who works hard in life, whos responsible, who is respectful, who is faithful, who would love his wife and kids with all his heart, who would accept my flaws but be willing to try all the crazy things I do and/or support me in them? Just askin! :)

P.S. NOT saying he has to be Matt or Channing I just thought we needed something to look at other then the cat lover pictures stuck forever in our minds. Don't close this post thinking cat lover close this post thinking Channing! Just Sayin :)









Are you LISTENING?

The other day when I found out my sad and frustrating news I called a person who has been thru this mess with me literally from the beginning and I knew this news would affect them directly so I called to talk and get advice. When I called however, the person had no time to speak with me. They were busy helping another person and told me I had to figure it out on my own and they would just make it work.

I hung up devastated, hurt, sad, and I will admit a little angry. I got why they couldn't talk then, I really did, but at the same time I didn't get it. I wanted to talk and wanted help figuring things out.

So I turned to the second the person who has been thru this mess with me from the beginning. After she put the lil ones down for their naps she called me back. She said, "Sorry I missed your call. Whats up?" I said, "Well I got some bummer news today." Without saying anything else she instantly says, "Oh no, You have to have surgery again don't you? Oh, Sarah I'm so so so sorry"

Anne of Green Gable speaks of kindred spirits and many times I think I have found that in this friend. With the invitation that she understood I sorta just started word vomiting on my poor friend and telling her all that was on my mind.



I explained my frustation that I feel that this is going to be a set back from all that I have accomplished since the last 2 surgeries. I told her of my fears that the recovery pain will be just as bad as the last time since this was the foot that took the longest to heal. I told her how financially stressed and burdened down I feel. I told her of my frustrations of how the last 3 years has not allowed me to get any type of financial break from the 2 foot surgeries, then the crazy sickness that landed me the outrageous E.R. bill, to the broken tooth which led to a couple root canals on top of that, to the numerous car problems that I am yet again dealing with as a month ago I was given the options to either fix my car which total cost of problems is MORE then the car is worth or drive it until it dies then get a knew one. I told her how I was doing my best to be more financially savy in the last month to get out of debt and how I have been cooking a meal on Sunday then portioning out the leftovers to last me all week and just when I thought I had a solution to get on top of my debt to get a new car I receive this news today :(

See, I wasn't lieing when I said I totally word vomitted and my friend just LISTENED and commented how Sorry she was for what I am going thru. She didn't have much more to say nor did she need to. She didn't have any elaborate solutions just made sure I knew that she cared and that she was there for me and honestly that made the difference. Do I have any better solutions then before? No, I don't. I still don't know how it will all turn out but she calmed me just enough by listening to my little whine fest that when I hung up with her I was able to schedule the surgery and look at life again and know somehow in some way that it will work itself out.

I then pondered the two different scenarios and I wondered in my own life am I to much like the first scenario? Do I brush people off more then I should? Do I not take the time to really LISTEN to them. Most people in life don't need solutions. That is not why they talk. If they want a solution they will tell you in their conversation. Instead they just want to know that someone si listening and that they really care.

I don't want someone to feel like I turned them off when they needed someone the most to talk to. So I am making a new goal to LISTEN MORE! I want to be a better listener! I want to make that difference in their life when they needed it. So heres on to LISTENING more and following the example of my amazing friend! :)

I Want...........

I want to be competed for

Not the competitor

 

I want to be chased

Not the chaser

 

I want to be appreciated for who I am

Not overlooked for the person I can't be

 

I want to be acknowledged for my soul and heart

Not disregarded cause of my looks, weight, and age

 

I want to laugh, cry, and reach my highest with you

Not laughed at, made to cry, or stopped from reaching

 

I want to be seen for my potential

Not taken advantage of cause of my potential

 

I want to be the friend you can't be without

Not the friend that's a good convenience

 

I want to be your friend

But above all I want to be loved

What does it mean to be TOUGH????

So the word TOUGH has been on my mind recently and todays experience has made me chuckle ironically. For awhile now I was thinking I am tough. I am doing lots of things that people around me keep saying "I would never do that." As talked about numerous times:

I have hiked the TETONS: 
















I ran the DIRTY DASH:













I have ran other races, set numerous goals and have really strived to get back on top of things. I am fulfilling my calling to the best of my ability and I am putting in all this time at work to show that I truly am an asset to the team. I am proving to myself that I can handle tough situations.

Then on Sunday this guy was talking about a dream with snakes and I was REALLY getting creeped out in church and how the snakes were attacking him. Then that afternoon my friend and I went for a power walk on the Provo Trail and she screams:

SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im sure it didn't look like the one above but I don't care! I took off running and screaming like a little girl! lol If you really know me, you know snakes of ANY kind are NOT my thing at ALL! It quietly slithered away and I had to laugh to myself as the thought came into my mind, "Really Sarah, you think you are TOUGH?" haha

Then the dreaded Dr's appt arrived today and I woke up again and looked in the mirror and said, "Sarah you are tough!!! You got this! It's no big deal!" I'm sitting in the Dr's chair playing solitaire on my Kindle and wondering why would a Dr want to look at feet every day anyway. Its kinda gross if you think about it lol

Before long he walks in and starts to play with my feet by play I mean push and bend and move and with each wince I said to myself, "It's cool, you are SO TOUGH" He then pauses and says "hmmmm...... lets do some x-rays!" After the x-ray moment I go back to playing solitaire as I wait the dreaded moments. He walks in and says: Drum Roll Please!!!! :)

The lights go on the x-ray goes up he stares at the pictures, sits back down, plays with my toes looks me in the eye and says, "We gotta do surgery again! We gotta cut you open again where we did last time and remove the big bump on top of your toe and move the pin around thats sticking out of the bone underneath your foot! Then while you are under I am going to manipulate your other foot that we did surgery on and attempt to get more movement out of that toe as well!"

I just sat there and stared! I had this feeling when I walked in that he was going to say that but I was like naw you are just worrying over nothing! Then all I could think about was the horrible pain from the time before, and the horrible inconvience of not being able to use my foot, and the LONG recovery etc etc etc. Then I thought about all the progress I have made and all my accomplishments and what a set back this will be.

I walked out the office wishing I had someone stronger next to me to give me a hug like wrap me up in their arms in a big bear hug type hug and tell me "It's gonna be nothing like the time before" Instead I quietly went to my car, drove back to my office checked my upcoming crazy schedule and scheduled the dreaded surgery.

Now, I don't feel so TOUGH anymore!!!!