10.When You Say Nothing At All - 蔡依林

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face let me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old mr. webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

In 2008,

I failed to juggle work, studies, friendships and family efficiently.
The reason is obvious. I am too into my new uni life.
I seemed to have fare badly in all areas in the end.
Lost my friends, poor results and I am sinking into financial crisis.
You may be laughing at me now.
Shaking your head, and think that maybe you can do better if you were me.
Good for you then.

For this entire year, I have been living in total self-denial.
Whenever sth goes wrong, i gave myself excuses.
Keep convincing myself that it was unavoidable that the wrong happened.
I was like a mouse, too timid to face my flaws.

I have learnt.
That i must not be ambitious but do things within my limit.
That all humans are selfish and it includes family and friends. Selfless is non-existent.
That I should gladly accept help rendered by others, but still be dependent on myself for things that i can do.
That time won't heal a bleeding heart. It will only stop hurting when someone comes around to give you a new heart.
That i really can't be a flial daughter and forgive my mum for everything she's done and still doing. I only love my Dad and can only be filial towards him.
That the most heartfelt gratitude/apology do not need to be spoken words.

I dun wanna make any new year's resolution this year.
I'm not in the mood today.
I will just see how it goes.

P.S. i haben quite recover from my depression.

I came back home earlier than planned because i decided to come home for my bed.
I shall be very random today.




i'm very depressed. Looks like I can't break the glass ceiling.
What exactly went wrong?




"Sorry, but i actually dun believe in making friends over the hp. i wont be replying you anymore."
It's not like i need a new friend now. I'm contented with what i have now.




I dun wanna be too reliant on anyone so i never keep any friend for long. It hurts too much if suddenly tat one person is gone. I'm weak. My heart can't take a second blow. Just let mi be a loner. I will be happier.




"下次我也会带你一起去。好不好？"
你骗我。你回来好不好？我不要去了。你回来就好。




I stopped trusting anyone since 12 years ago.
So it's me who has a problem.




No, you dun need to understand anything in this entry.

I'm off to Clemen鸡's Chalet and tml WSC Retreat (Meetingsssss).
Most probably, I will check out from Aloha Loyang on 31st Dec.
If the plan is still on, there will be steamboat at UK's house on 31st Night.
(i take off from work already!!)
By the time i'm backed, it should be 2009 already.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (:

P.S. Thank You.

I am just gonna mass update before i disappear again next week. heh!

05S22 Chalet last week!
I was there only for awhile and i deserved to die for doing so.
But trust me, i rushed there immediately after i was done with work in sch. =X



Tada!
From top left, Fredidi, Ben-Hulk, Darric and Chee Shong.
and from bottom left, Limin, Me, Hienfy and Yew Kiat.

We forgot to take the big group photo before Qian Ling, Jeremy and Rodney went off.
But nvm. this photo is really pretty. (:
I totally hearts my friends!

Below are alot of photos they took during chalet when i wasn't even there.
I was having a good laugh over them.
Guys, just let mi guess what you guys were trying to do.



HAHAHA! Whose arm is that?!
The one that came in front. It's in the wrong place right?!!! LOL!



It was Darric's B`dae that day.
Belated for Hienfy and Darric and early b`dae for Fredidi. (:



Ben is finally back from USA.
He is the luckiest guy i ever know.
PES C and can still serve NS in USA. dots.
I can't find our old JC photos. But this fellow really grew to almost twice his original size.
omg. Ben-Hulk.



Qian Ling was there too!
I know the guys were drooling over her. LOL!
Oh shits. the Tan Family girls din take a photo together!



From left, Rodney, Jeremy, Ben-Hulk and Chee Shong.
I forgot wad we used to call the 4 of them.
Muggers? Can't rmb.



Hienfy, seriously, i can't find any nice photos of you to blog.
AHH! i forgot to ask u to take photo with the Hienfy Cushion.
You better bring it to Aussie! Or i will bring it there for u!



This is my Rubik's Cube Shi fu!
He's damn pro.

Shi Fu, i still haben master it. =X



Really gay. =S



LOL! uk only looks cute with his eyes closed.
Chao ai act cute, this fellow.
Grow up!



You know, i have a feeling i will be fry by fredidi for posting this photo.
LOL! Sexy Lips~ LOL! and nice moustache. =X



Well done Limin! I'm so proud of u! LOL!

Yay! i'm so looking forward to the dinner on 31st Dec.
I wanna help buy the food!! Count me in!! I will be free from afternoon onwards! (:

MERRY CHRISTMAS ! (:

I hope I can bring some joy to my friends this Christmas.
So, for the very first time, I am going to post MY OWN UNGLAM photos.

*stabbing myself in progress*



OH MY TIAN. let me die~ Super ugly!



I looked like i kena stroke. oh shits.



This is the funniest one. i still cannot stop laughing.
LOL!! AHHH~~ I'M GOING CRAZY!



This is the present from xuefen. 忍！



The Emcees last photo together. (:

TADA!

i'm back immediately to update about other stuffs.
Yups, to make up for all the lost entries for Nov and Dec. heh heh!

I've received a few christmas pressies!! so happy!
Each and every one of them made mi very happy.
One day i will take photos and blog about my predecessor, Xuefen's presents to me.
I collected 3 already. LOL!
My student gave me a box of Ferraro Collection this morning!
Looks so delicious!! heh heh!!

and i pampered myself enough to buy myself a new Havaianas sandas.
i have been looking and waiting for it for so long!! and it's black. WOOS!
I'm freaking happy at this moment of time! LOL!
*jump! jump! jump!*

My Christmas wishes for this year?

1. Family and friends to be all healthy and happy.
2. Economic recession to subside.
3. For me to reduce my black face and smile more, esp during RSPHI events. I still have half a year to improve.
4. For everything to move on smoothly and meet with little barriers.
5. MAY TONNES OF MONEY DROP ON ME!! SG Dollars will do! (: I dun mind lots of job lobangs to earn money too.

As happy as i may sound like now, i am only trying to suppress the depressed me within.
I am anticipating a serious wave of XYFC (XinYi's Financial Crisis) in the coming month.
This is what i get for being too actively involved in CCA.
So i dun deserve any sympathy. I am the one who chose this path.

i'm sorry guys.
A small Christmas card and mini Toblerone is all that i can afford this Christmas. and not everybody gets it. =X

It will be all work for me through the whole of Christmas and the rest of the week before 28th arrives and i need to go for Clementi Chalet and WSC MEETINGSSS. This happens every year. i'm so used to it. (:

Sadly and happily, Christmas Song Sign 2008 ended yesterday.

"No more Song Sign anymore~"

It was tough at first with poor attendance and little improvements.
But as time pass, encourage from everyone and support from seniors.
All of us finally made it and has done a splendid job since the first day of performance!

Day 1 - Suntec City

WOW. WOW. WOW.
High spirits and all of them were singing each other's song. (:
超 high!
I must admit that my juniors have really impressed me. They're good!



In the middle are Ellie and Athene, they hosted the entire show using Sign Language.
Me and Gladys were their "voices". (:
Good job girls! You all are the best!!

(Sam, please go and die for destroying the photo.)

Day 2 - Robertson Walk

Last year, we weren't allowed to be near the stage or performance area.
Need to keep our volume down too.

This year, to hell with that, I think it's okie for them to make a lot of noise and have much fun around the stage for all they want.
Messy is order in itself. Dun you agree? =X



So we sat ON THE STAGE and started making a fool of ourselves.
and I really like the noise and laughters. =X



This is awping. Haha!
She is forever rolling her eyes and I managed to catch her on camera with such a big smile!
yay! LOL! =X

Day 3 - Vivo City

A nerve-racking technical breakdown occurred.
Power failure happened to the sound system and "Christmas in my heart" was cut in its first quarter.

In the chaos, everybody else started to sing the song for the group while some others tried to correct the error.
To make things worst, the cashier whose feets were next to the power point was very unfriendly and unhelpful. She's a Bitch. I swear not to say her story again. This will be the last time i speak of her. Rar!

Nvm.

when the music was restored, the song had a grand ending and applause roared through the air! Woo! I was so touched at that point of time that my eyes went totally red halfway thru the show.



RSPHI ZAI!



"All i want for Xmas is you".
I'm supposed to be their Senior Attached, but i'm always MIA and busy with other things.
It's okie! there are 4 other seniors around who are damn zai.
Look at their starting pose. LOL! *hopeful*



My Song Sign group at Vivo City!
"My grown up Christmas List!"
My sister came down to support me that day!
She's my forever 忠实 fan! thanks girl!
It was her birthday and so off to Ajisen to eat some ramen! (:

Day 4 - Parco Bugis Junction

We performed in front of the water fountain.
Oh man, there was a lot of people watching us! LOL!
Nth special happened except that i miss a line in my script.
shits. =X

Last Day - Bukit Panjang Plaza!

Grand Finale to Christmas SS 2008!
We went totally nuts during mass performance before the actual show.
Ahhh! i love RSPHI. Bunch of crazy people.





These are my Clementi juniors and seniors with Enchen and Xiao Huan missing.
We are offically called Clemen-鸡！(:
Don't ask me what 鸡 i am please. shhh!

Mr Sam in this photo. I posted this cos i look cute in this photo and he looks disgusting.

LOL!

MERRY X'MAS EVERYONE! i will continue in another entry! (:

RSPHI has not stopped amazing me since the first day of performance.
Especially today.

WE ARE A GREAT TEAM.
we stand together and support one another.

It's my pride to be their coordinator. (:
I'm so proud of all of them.

P.S. 2 more days to do. Bugis tml and BPP after tml. (:


"So i walk out in silence.
That's when i start to realise what you bring to my life."

"dun overwork!'

That's what Hf just told me in MSN.
It's difficult, my friend.
Cos i guess i have already overworked.

If i'm gonna be running back to sch a number of times during the chalet,
i'm sure you all are gonna kill me.

Please dun. I'm totally down now.
Yes i know that it will be the last chalet before HF flies off to Aussie for a couple of years.
I am totally caught btw my club responsibilities and the few precious time to spend with my dearest friends and i can't seem to let go any of them.

Now, I really hate myself.
I hate myself to the core.

"xinyi, you're an idiot!"

I was randomly surfing the net (very uncommon for me nowadays) and i found this cute song!
It is from the movie, BOLT - I thought I lost you.
oh my, it makes mi wanna watch it so much! (dream on, you've got not time and money)

I thought I lost you - Miley Cyrus & John Travolta


MILEY:

Nobody listens to me
Don’t hear a single thing I've said
Say anything to soothe me
Anything to get you from my head
Don't know how I really feel
The faith it takes to make like I don't care
Don’t know how much it hurts
To turn around like you were never there
Like somehow you could be replaced
And I could walk away from the promises we made
And swore we’d never break

MILEY AND TRAVOLTA CHORUS:

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me
I thought I’d never see your sweet face again
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went
But I kept the moments that we were in
'cause I hoped in my heart you'd come back to me, my friend
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I felt so empty out there
And there were days I had my doubts
But I knew I'd find you somewhere
Because I knew I couldn't live without
You in my life for one more day
And I swore I'd never break those (promises we made)

MILEY AND TRAVOLTA CHORUS:

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me
I thought I’d never see your sweet face again
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went
But I kept the moments that we were in
'cause I hoped in my heart you'd come back to me, my friend
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I told myself I wouldn’t sleep 'till I searched the world from sea to sea

MILEY:

I made a wish upon a star, I turned around and there you were

MILEY AND TRAVOLTA:

Now here we are, are

MILEY:

Here we are
I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I thought I lost you, too

MILEY:

I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I thought I lost you

MILEY:

Yeah

MILEY AND TRAVOLTA CHORUS:

I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me
I thought I’d never see your sweet face again
I turned around and you were gone and on and on the days went
But I kept the moments that we were in
And I knew in my heart you'd come back to me, my friend
And now I got you, but I thought I lost you

MILEY:

But I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I thought I lost you, too

BOTH:

So glad I got you, got you

MILEY:

So glad I got you, yeah yeah
I thought I lost you

TRAVOLTA:

I thought I lost you, too


P.S. I'm in love with this line: I thought I lost you when you ran away to try to find me. Did i thought i lost you too?

opps. i seemed to have forgetten to blog about my performances dates and canvassing activity.
Here you go, ripped directly from one of the dozen emails i sent out everyday:

1. Booth at Vivo City

Dates: 6, 7, 13, 14, 20, 21 Dec (All sat and sun for 3 weeks)
Time: 11am - 10pm
Location: Vivo City Level 3 Concourse
Merchandise: All handmade items, personalized test-tubes, magnets, and glasses

2. X'mas SS Performance

19th Dec (Fri) - Suntec City, Stage @ New Entrance, 5.30 pm
20th Dec (Sat) - Robertson Walk - 7 pm
21st Dec (Sun) - Vivo City, Level 3 Concourse (near Booth) - 7pm
22nd Dec (Mon) - Parco Bugis Junction, Near Big Christmas Tree, 7 pm
23rd Dec (Tue) - Bukit Panjang Plaza, Basement 1, 7pm

Please come down and show NTU WSC-RSPHI your support! THANK YOU!

Some just can't be trusted, can they?




"You can't change nature."

"Don't you get it? Change IS nature."

i'm so glad that i made my way back to my hall safely.

why?

becos i had a little too much alcohol just now. =X
i went red like a sun and need to rush for the last train.
everyone was staring at me in the train but i just closed my eyes and slept.

i wasn't drunk even thou i was super red okie!
But when i alighted at boon lay. shit. DIZZINESS.
Patches in my vision and hollow sounds. (uh oh!)

Well, i was strong. I kept telling myself i can do it. i can still walk.
and i made it to 179 bus stop! (:
i'm so proud of myself!
but i missed the Canteen A bus stop. =X LOL!
so i walked from SBS back to my hall. by then, i was already clear-minded.

no worries. the alcohol is gone already. very fast for me. (:

and no, i dun like the feeling of being drunk. it's terrible.
i shall be careful with how much i drink the next time.

i'm freaking tired now.
very, very tired.

and i need to go to work soon.

P.S. it will be good if the world stops for a day to let mi rest.

I am sure Daddy won't bear to see me work so hard if he's around.

but he's not.

i miss being Daddy's girl and i'm missing him terribly now.

twelve years and it still hurts like he went away only yesterday.

this is how dear he is to me. i miss you, papi.

I simply went crazy from friday night after dinner with 05S22 clinque, all the way till i get my sleep at midnight yest.

Crazy = Mixture of emotions that happens altogether at the same time.
and
Mixture of emotions = Pissed off + Sleepy + Depressed + Happy + Tired
and
Depressed = holding back tears which are already at the corner of my eyes

I haben got so pissed off for quite a while. But it's okie now. I just lack sleep. that's all.

I have got a lot of emails to send.
and "Cold"mail is damn idiotic. ALWAYS give me problems. zzz!
I will blog again another time. byebye!

P.S. My club is canvassing at Vivo City Level 3 concourse. Just right outside Sentosa Express Ticketing booth for the next two weekends. I hope some miracle will happen. *Pray*

Nope! not going m'sia today.
i'm going somewhere with limin today! (:

I'm challenging my limits everyday.
and i'm still worrying abt money, but the overwhelming club activities dominated over them.

you know, it feels so warm when ur friends come and tell u they have supported ur club by eating/bringing their friends to eat KFC Christmas Buddy Meal.
Esp, Fredidi, your sms was so sweet! thanks!

Guys, if any of you wanna join me as a volunteer for the Deaf by giving weekly tuition to them every saturday afternoon, please go to the following link:
http://www.sadeaf.org.sg/tutor.htm
Join me! Tuition centres at Woodlands and TPY! (:

i jus broke my record of staying awake for 39 hrs straight!
i'm hitting 40 hrs already!

Having no sleep was not the end of today.
i had to run like 10 x 100m today for my club today.
now both my legs ache like hell when i walk.
i was hoping to be wheelchair-bound for a while. =X

"hey you! i will defeat u in ur game! just watch me!"

加油！陈欣怡！(:

“是誰告訴你有王子這動物？！
還不如你自己騎上白馬比較靠譜。
失戀，失去所有美麗的錯誤。
快開香槟爲你能夠死裏逃生慶祝！”
~ 女孩當自強, S.H.E.