Ciao, 2012!

2012 has been an amazing year in so many ways, but it's also been very trying.  Dissertation, diabetes, the struggles of living in a different culture, missing my friends and family.  But it's also been really wonderful in terms of new friendships, travelling, and just riding this roller coaster with the inimitable Nick.

I thought I'd do a photo recap post since my blogging in 2012 has been....less than regular.

January, I spent a good chunk of the month back in the States, sorting out visa issues and seeing family and friends:

February we had some gorgeous weather and took a bike ride on the Appia Antica:

In March, we went to Amstersdam and I attended a conference in Oxford.  We also had some visitors in town!

In April, it was Easter and Nick's parents came for a visit:

May brought us some more friends visiting, plus our fourth wedding anniversary.  We headed down to Sorrento and Capri to celebrate.

June I stayed VERY busy with tours, we moved into a new apartment, and we made a trip up to Venice to visit some friends.

In July, we climbed a mountain with some of our Italian friends:

In August, it was my birthday!  This time we went to Salerno and the southern side of the Amalfi coast.  We also said goodbye to some of our very dear friends in Rome.

September meant the arrival of some new friends in Rome and my library's 100th anniversary party

In October, I made a surprise visit to the States to meet my new niece and Nick surprised me with a trip to Thessaloniki:

November, we had our last performance with our Roman choir.  We had to quit because my work is keeping me so busy.  Also, Nick's sister and her husband came to visit.  We had an amazing time and ate and drank very well.  We also returned to Capri on this trip.

And then all of the sudden, it was December!  We celebrated Nick's birthday by taking a trip to Munich, Vienna, and Budapest.  Then we had our second Roman Christmas.

Overall, it was a great year.  2013 is looking to be even better, with our triumphant return to the States and a few fun trips before we head back.  Happy New Year!

A Christmas Miracle

Merry Christmas!  Buon Natale!

Christmas lights in Capri

As I mentioned in my last post, I have MUCH to say about my experience of getting my health card here in Italy.  But, today was a first and since it is Christmas Eve, I am declaring it a Christmas miracle:

I got my first free insulin today.

I am definitely not at the end of this weird journey to getting the best health care I can here, but this was a major step and proved that in the end, it has been worth all of the trouble.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!

Some days are....odd.

Much to blog about these days, but not so much time!  I'm hoping that the Christmas holiday, when I'll take a few days off, will give me a chance to write about our trip to Munich, Vienna, and Budapest and the epic saga of getting my health exemption to get free D supplies.  It is ENDLESS!

But, today has been a bit strange so far, so I thought I'd share a few snippets of it.  It's only 1 pm, so I may be in for more!

I got up early this morning, got ready, Nick made me breakfast and we both got my lunch together.  Then I was out the door and onto the bus to go back to the health agency to drop off the form.  When this form gets dropped off, I THINK I will then be able to get insulin, needle tips, test strips, and lancets from the pharmacy for no charge.

If you've ever been to Rome, you know traffic is a bit crazy, especially in the morning, and that the buses are large and everywhere.  As I sat by the right side window, reading my kindle, I noticed that a woman in a car was creeping up on our right side.  The bus was about to make a right turn, a rather tight one at that, and this woman was convinced that she could - or should - beat the bus around the corner.  As we creeped around, she kept moving forward, perhaps unaware of the laws of physics.  And then, just in front of where I was sitting, CRUNCH.  The bus driver immediately hopped out and started taking photos.  All of us passengers exited the bus and many of them starting telling the driver how stupid it was that the woman had done that, etc. and an enormous crowd began to gather. Since I had other places to go, I started walking, but warned a few people on the route that they might be waiting awhile....

*****************  A few hours later...... *************************

I got hungry for lunch early today, so I decided to go ahead and give myself insulin around 12:15 so that I could eat at 12:30. I knew my lunch contained a banana, a sandwich, and some popcorn, so I dosed accordingly.  I started with the popcorn, and then reached into my bag to grab the sandwich only to discover that it wasn't there.  Hm.  Nick made it, I got him the baggie....but it never got from him to me to my bag.  With active insulin, I improvised, grabbed a small slice of pizza from a nearby place, and hoped for the best.

Not the worst day, but a strange one.  I'm hoping things go a bit more smoothly for the rest of it!

(Hardly) Wordless Wednesday

Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy!  Aren't we all!  It's reached a head here and I don't anticipate any slowing down.  Work, work, work, visitors, renewing my permit to live in Italy, lectures at my library, grant applications, etc.  Well, maybe it will slow down for a few days circa Dec. 24-26.  Sounds lovely!

We recently had Nick's sister and her husband in town, and we spent some time out of Rome too.  Here's our triumphant return to the Blue Grotto in Capri:

A gorgeous sky, with Mt. Vesuvius, over the Forum in Pompeii:

And a little Christmas in Sorrento for good measure:

The next week or so is also a bit crazy: my appointment with a diabetologo (finally!), a Christmas concert with the King Singers, the Nutcracker, and then next week we leave for our Christmas trip!  It will be fun, but definitely not relaxing!  We'll be freezing our way through the sights and Christmas markets of Munich, Vienna and Budapest!  And it will also be my first reunion with my pump in about eight months, and for that I am very excited.  To me, it's the perfect use of my remaining three infusion sets and fresh vial of insulin.  But, if things go well tomorrow, my pump and I will hopefully be stuck together again more or less permanently....here's hoping!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's days like this that it's especially hard to live abroad.  We are really fortunate that Nick's sister and her husband are arriving today, so we'll get a bit of family time.  Since they're getting in late, we're going out for pizza instead of trying to make any sort of traditional meal.  Which would be difficult since we don't have an oven.....

So today, I thought I'd revisit my Thanksgiving meal from 2010.  For the first three years that we were married, Nick and I made an enormous feast for just the two of us.  This brings back really nice memories, but makes me miss my kitchen and house like crazy!

I'm thankful for so much.  Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

************************************************************************

I have used the word Thankful or Thanksgiving so many times in post titles in the last few weeks, so I had to change it up. But this is the post which chronicles our Thanksgiving Day 2010.

We woke up fairly early and I got straight to cooking. First, baking the stuffing. Here's the end result:
While that was baking, I got to work on dessert: Pioneer Woman's Pumpkin Cake with Whiskey Whipped Cream. Here it is while mixing in the whiskey-soaked golden raisins:And straight out of the oven:In the midst of all this cooking, I looked out the window and saw our first snow of the season!It eventually turned into rain and none of it stuck around, but with all the cooking and listening to Christmas music while we cooked, it was a perfect moment.

Probably the biggest job of the morning was assembling the Roquefort Potato Gratin. We would have been lost without our mandoline.

We had a last minute addition to the menu, but there was plenty of time for assembly and baking of the Brioche Rolls. So buttery and delicious!

If you could have smelled these, you would not have been able to resist them.
The final step in the middle of the day was prepping the turkey. Nick prepped it, got all of the aromatics ready to stuff inside, I laced him up, and in the oven he went. Here he is, fresh out with his glaze shining:
In the background of that picture, you can see the broccolini. It was cooked just before eating, and I didn't get any separate pictures of it.

I managed to get a few photos before we dug in. A feast fit for two:
Yes, I ate everything on this plate:
Somehow we manage to clean everything up with extremely full bellies. Nick finished carving the turkey, we wrapped things up, froze half of everything, and got the rest in the fridge. We even managed to get most of the dishes done! By the time we were done, we were ready for some cake.
We ate this incredible moist and dense cake while watching a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving. It was a lot of work, but most definitely worth it.

Living far from our families means we make some of our own traditions. I think we're both pleased with how our last few Thanksgivings have turned out. We get to do what we love together, and there's nothing better than that.

Shooting the Moon

Using multiple daily injections (MDI) for my treatment plan is not my favorite thing in the world.  I'm doing it now because it is financially necessary, but it comes with some problems.  So today, I'd like to suggest a new entry for the Diabetes Terms of Endearment: Shooting the Moon.

Image Source

But first, a disclaimer: I have not cleared this practice with a CDE or any medical professional.  I don't recommend it for others.  It's what I've been doing since my willpower when it comes to wonderful food is WEAK.

Shooting the Moon: when someone on MDI is in a difficult food situation, unaware of what exactly might be served or consumed, loads up on insulin, always with bread or glucose tabs at the ready.  See also: S.W.A.G. Bolusing

Let me give you some examples.  There are three recent ones that come to mind.

Situation 1: Going to the amazing Mesob for Ethiopian food with four friends.
Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food?  First, it's amazing.  Second, it's very difficult to know exactly how much and what will be eaten.  At Mesob, our favorite place for it in Rome, we usually go with friends and they serve it all on a giant platter with a variety of side dishes which are difficult to predict.  Plus, you eat each bite with a small piece of delicious injera bread.

The issue: What exactly will be set down in front of us?  How much will I be able to wrestle away from my friends?  When will I get full?  Or, do I carb count every.single.bite?

Solution: Shoot the Moon.  Dose up big time knowing that you want to eat as much of this delicious food as possible.

Situation 2: A site-unseen tasting menu at one of the best restaurants in Rome

We made a reservation for Restaurant Week at Metamorfosi.  We were expecting 3 courses.

Just how deep is that dish of risotto?

The issue: There were more than three courses, the risotto dish was deeper than I expected, the homemade bread was too good to pass up, and there were little sweet surprises along the way.

Solution: Shoot the Moon.  Don't look back, just eat as much as you can at one of the best meals of your life.

Situation 3: The issue of having dinner with very important colleagues when pulling up your shirt to give a shot is really not the best idea.

This is me tonight.  I'm having dinner with at least 20 other people.  I have no idea if it's a buffet, a served meal, or what it might be.

The issue: I really don't want to give myself a shot in front of some of the most important scholars in my field. I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my diabetes, but there are certain first impressions that you don't want to make.  Also, what exactly will I be eating?

Solution: Shoot the Moon.  Assume that the meal will be similar to a normal Italian meal with pasta and some other carby things along the way.  There will likely be dessert.  Test before leaving my office, give myself a decent dose, and hope for the best.

So far, my Shooting the Moon strategy has not backfired.  If anything, I rarely give myself enough, ending up a bit or a lot higher than I'd like.  But, I'm always prepared for the worst case scenario too.

Wish me luck!  And don't try this at home.

Wordless Wednesday: World Diabetes Day edition

It's World Diabetes Day!  Of course, in the diabetes blogosphere it's all the rage.  But, I've also seen a video promoting awareness on Roman public transportation.  It finishes with the lines, "Against diabetes, open your eyes."  I think the Blue Circle fits that message well.  Hug your favorite person with diabetes today, folks!

Joy

If you've been reading along lately, joy is not something I've been writing about much.  From an outsider's point of view, I have this incredible life: amazing husband, living in Rome for two years, and getting paid to do research.  And it is a great life.  I know this.  I am very, very fortunate.  

But I haven't felt a lot of joy lately.  Living in Rome, as lovely as it is, has its own problems.  I miss my family and friends.  My dissertation often feels like an iron weight around my neck.  Money is tight.  And diabetes has been really rather unfriendly lately.  I've been disheartened.  But today, a saw a bright side.  I found a silver lining :)

The Via Appia Antica

Today I did something that I have been working towards for months, and that I should have done months ago.  This morning, I got my tessera sanitaria: my health care card.  And it was the easiest thing I have ever done in Italy, which I assure you, lives up to its bureaucratic stereotype.

Three months ago, I went through the horrifying process of establishing residency.  I never wrote about the experience here, but it was awful.  Hours and hours of waiting in lines, only to be told different things by different people.  It really made me gun shy about applying for my tessera sanitaria.

But I really, truly am reaching the end of my supplies here.  I am almost out of my Lantus, and I've already had to buy two boxes of needle tips (clocking in at about $0.35 each needle tip, or $1.40 for an average day's use).

The Roman Forum

I mustered up the fortitude (and the photocopies in triplicate of everything I thought I might need), and I went to the appropriate office today.

And it took less than 5 minutes.  And I didn't pay a penny.  Or, since I'm in Italy, a centesimo.

An angel on the Ponte Sant'Angelo

I now have the document I need to go see a doctor.  He can then recommend me to a diabetes specialist.  Or, I can just deal with him and ask him for the proper prescriptions.

And in Italy, if you have a chronic condition, your supplies are free.  That's why the needle tips cost me so much, but soon they will be free.  They actually prioritize preventative measures for people like me.  And they don't see it as my burden to pay for these things which will keep me alive.

When I went to the doctor in August, she told me even insulin pump supplies would be free.

Of course, I'm not there yet.  I have to make the appointment.  There are a few more steps.

But right now, I feel hope.  And true joy, unlike what I've felt in months.

A little crazy-eyed, but a good idea of how I'm feeling right now

So I am going to celebrate today, and make an appointment with my new doctor.  Hopefully I will be reunited with my beloved insulin pump soon, and maybe things might be a bit better diabetically speaking.  And that brings me so much joy.

Memorable Lows in Rome

Two years ago, I participated in NaBloPoMo and blogged every single day in November.  While I am not sure that I am physically capable of doing it again in 2012, I am interested in trying to blog a bit more regularly around here.

I realized recently that I very rarely write about this incredible city.  Sure, Rome has been driving me crazy more often than not, but I know that when my time here is up I will be very sad.  So, I thought I'd try to write a bit more about life here in Rome.

Last night, Nick and I went for a walk.  Despite the fact that it was already starting to get a bit dark (we already had daylight savings time end) and that it would likely rain on us, we went for it.  It did rain on us after all, but it also led to one of the most incredible things I've seen lately: heavy rain bouncing off of the enormous, lit-up pool at one of the city's biggest fountains.  It was breathtaking.

After about 35 minutes of walking, after we had paused to watch the rain bounce off the water, I started getting that feeling.  You know the one: something isn't right under your skin, your breath is a little shorter, your brain is a little fuzzy.  I stopped to test and saw that my BG was at 71.  Technically, not low, but it was.  I could just tell.  So, I popped some grape glucose tablets (my favorite) and leaned on Nick until I felt better.

Because of this experience and my hope to write more about Rome, I thought it would be perfect to post some photos of some places in Rome that I've had some lows:

Last night, the Fontanone (a fountain commissioned by Paul V in 1612 to celebrate the reopening of the Acqua Paola aqueduct):

Image Source

The Protestant Cemetery:

The Colosseum:

The Vatican Gardens:

The gorgeous streets of Trastevere:

At least the scenery has been nice while recovering!

Under Construction

Please pardon the wonky blog appearance as I make a few changes around here.  I've gone blue for Diabetes Awareness Month!  I hope to make things look a bit prettier soon...

Wordless Wednesday: Boo Edition

Happy Halloween from the volleyball player and Texts from Hillary!

Wordless Wednesday: Thessaloniki Edition

We went to Thessaloniki, Greece last weekend!  Can you tell what I'm doing in this photo while my lovely husband documents our breakfast cafe?

300

Living in Italy, you'd think that I would be so happy with my coffee situation.  Rome has incredible coffee, it's fairly cheap and easy to find.  But one thing I miss A LOT about the US is the ability to easily acquire a large caffeinated beverage to sip while I work, or to get an iced coffee, or to sit in a coffee shop killing time, reading, or visiting with a friend.  Most of this is just outside of Italian coffee culture.

And right now I find myself in Springfield, MO, the place I grew up, visiting my family and friends on a surprise visit.  Surprise!!

Highlight of the trip: meeting my 6-week-old niece

As I changed planes in Chicago on Monday, I paused to grab an iced coffee from Starbucks.  I was so happy to finally have something that I've been craving for months!

And yesterday morning, my family planned to stop by the ubiquitous 'bucks as a little treat.  Delighted, I decided to get a Skinny Vanilla Latte.

This drink is composed of an espresso shot, skim milk, and sugar-free vanilla syrup.  I can order it without feeling much guilt!  It won't have too much impact on my blood sugar!  Hooray!

Despite the Starbucks definition of what goes into a Skinny Vanilla Latte, when I order it, I always accompany it with the words, "And that comes with sugar-free syrup, right?". even though I know it does.  I figure that the more times I say "sugar-free," the more likely my drink is to be correct.  I usually also say this when I pick up the drink, just to triple-check.

So that's what I did.....except for that last part.  We were getting six drinks, and this order was taking FOREVER.  As in, more than 15 minutes from start to finish.  And it wasn't crowded.  By the time our drinks were ready, after a sort of dopey manager explained to us why we couldn't use our coupon there (it wasn't a "standstill" store, in the words of the young barista), we grabbed our drinks and left.  And I was so pleased to be caffeinated after a jet-lagged night of sleep which saw me waking up at 2:30 am after only about four hours of sleep.  Glory!  Large caffeinated beverage I could sip!  I love America!

Fast forward a couple of hours when we went to get lunch.  Before we headed into the restaurant, I tested my blood sugar.

300.

Only one thing could explain it: I wasn't given sugar-free syrup.  Or my insulin from breakfast just completely and utterly failed to make any sort of impact.  I knew that that couldn't be true.  I was feeling sleepy and groggy, but I just attributed it to the lack of sleep.

So I decided to call the store and let them know what happened.  I knew it wouldn't do me much good, but I thought it was important to remind them how important it is to make someone's order correctly.  I got the same dopey manager on the phone who remembered our visit that morning.  He listened to me, I told him that such a mistake could be extremely dangerous for someone with Type I Diabetes, like me, and that I think the barista needed to be reminded to make orders correctly.

He half-heartedly apologized and said, "Well, ma'am, all I can really do is offer you a free beverage..."  I cut him off and told him that I wasn't interested, that that isn't why I had called.  I didn't feel like getting into any verbal altercation, so I just got off the phone instead, and shook my head at how little he seemed to care that their minor mistake could have cost me a great deal.

Invisible

I didn't sleep very well last night.

Actually, it's more that I just didn't sleep very much.  I woke up after about 4 hours of sleep and then just couldn't fall asleep again.

Insomnia like that gives you a lot of time to think, and part of that time was spent thinking about my poor neglected blog and, naturally, a lot about diabetes.

You see, I've been having some trouble lately, but I just don't write about it.  Part of it is that I am so busy (I know, everyone is busy) and so tired and so focused on trying to get my research done and my dissertation written.  Another part of it is my blog audience.  I think most of the people who read here I actually know, family members or friends, and sometimes that prevents me from being as honest as if I were just speaking to strangers.

Isn't that weird?  Every time I try to make sense of it, I can't.

As I laid there last night, I thought about how we're in the middle of Invisible Illness Awareness Week.  I thought about my own invisible illness, how I mostly try to keep it invisible even though that can backfire sometimes.  Like that time I had a really bad low a few months back on a crowded metro in Rome.  Fortunately Nick was with me, so I leaned on him when really all I wanted (and needed) to do was sit down.  Nobody but he could tell something was wrong with me.

Pretty pictures to distract from my whinging

I recently got a new office mate at my library, a man who is at least 10 years older than me, Italian, and much  further along in his academic career than I am.  I typically eat lunch in my office, as sad as that sounds.  It takes less time, I can catch up on blogs, and eat in peace.  Now?  I don't want him to see me test my blood sugar and I DEFINITELY don't want him to see me give myself an injection.  So I wait until he leaves for lunch, test, bolus, and eat as fast as I can.  I'm staying invisible.

But back to this hard time.  Every day I am struggling with this disease.  I think part of it is the day to day stress of my life, doing long hours of research and writing, living in a foreign country, not having much money, not getting enough sleep.  Nearly every day I complain to Nick, about that stinging injection or that random 300 on my meter or the fact that I'm starving but we don't have anything I can eat without giving myself (ANOTHER) injection.

I'm still taking care of myself, still testing, still dosing, still aiming for the best every single day.  But emotionally, I feel so defeated.  Maybe it's being without my pump, losing that flexibility that I enjoyed for a year and a half.

I've been going at this now for two and a half years.  I used to be very optimistic about this disease, about the good its brought to my life.  I'm having trouble seeing things that way now, how frustrated I am, how limited I feel, even though logically I know that all of this is so silly.  Then I think about the likelihood that I'll be dealing with this the rest of my life, and I feel defeated again.

And I feel alone.  I have this incredible aunt, one who has her own invisible illness, lupus.  She's told me before that she admires how I handle my disease, I think she even mentioned once the "grace" with which I handle it.  I think I've lost some of that, but I rarely talk about it (with anyone besides Nick) because it does no good to complain and it makes others uncomfortable.

Just as I'd started to settle down last night, finally relaxing a bit into the pillow after being awake for a couple of hours, I got that feeling.  The sense of something being off, a sort of hybrid of lightness and numbness that often accompanies my hypoglycemic excursions.  I turned on my little booklight and tested: 71.  Not technically low, but I felt wrong.  And so I crawled out of bed again, sucked down a juice box, and tried not to wake up my dear husband.  Diabetes may be invisible but it never lets you forget its inconvenience.

One Down, One to Go....

Today is something of an anniversary.....and also a date of something to come.  It was exactly one year ago today that Nick and I arrived in Rome.

Within days of our arrival

It's been something of a whirlwind.  So much has already changed while we've been living so far from home. Here are just a few things:

• I lost my grandfather
• Our next door neighbors, and very good friends, had a baby girl.
• My sister had a baby girl.
• One of Nick's good friends got married

And there are many things that we'll miss in the next year, including three more weddings of very dear friends and at least one more baby.

But there have been some incredible adventures along the way.

We made some amazing friends.  This are two select examples.

We got creative and made free Halloween costumes

We went to Spain (and Nick had a weird mustache)

We went to Paris to celebrate Nick's birthday (and Christmas)

We went to Amsterdam (and Nick grew his longest hair ever)

I went to a conference in Oxford

We've also traveled a lot in Italy.  See this list for details :)

Many friends and family members have come for a visit, experiencing Rome with us.  We've been sort of adopted by our Roman choir and Nick's Roman volleyball team.

I've made significant progress in my research and writing of my dissertation.  I've also given dozens of tours, making a bit of extra money on the side.  I recently tabulated that since arriving one year ago, I've been to the Vatican Museums 27 times and the Galleria Borghese 12 times.

Nick has launched his career as a freelance travel writer and has written around one hundred pages of a novel.  Even staying busy with those projects, he manages to take care of us and our home.

It's been an incredible adventure and we are busily making plans for travel in our last year (Sicily, Vienna, and Greece are some of the major destinations).  

But.  It isn't all fun and games.

We've made a lot of sacrifices, stressing over money issues now and for the future.  I've gone off of my insulin pump and CGM, and haven't had my A1C tested in well over a year.  Nick hasn't returned to the US at all.  I've only been once.  We don't know if we'll get to go back in the next year.

And we're homesick.  We miss our families desperately.  Maybe me more than him, since Nick's parents have been able to visit, are coming again, and his sister will be here on Thanksgiving.  We miss our friends, in Philadelphia and elsewhere.  We miss being able to understand what everyone around us is saying.  We miss lots of different foods (I want a bagel!!) and certain aspects of American life that just aren't present in American culture.  We miss our house.  We miss a double income.  We miss so much.

And I'm not exactly wishing away this last year.  I'm definitely not looking forward to getting us, our cats, and all of our stuff back to the States.  But I know that I will be ready to go home in a year.  I know that while I love Italy, I really want to be living in the States.  And I know that I want to finish my degree, to apply for jobs, to know something, ANYTHING, about our future.  

One more year.  I know we will make it unforgettable, but I'm grateful that the end of our two-year adventure is nearing our reach.  We'll be doing our best to have as much fun as we can, to take advantage of this opportunity, and we'll leave in one year with smiles on our faces.