从心灵的故乡回来后，再回到了家。

一央入眼帘的,就是那么美丽的一张画面。



花,开了。百花齐放，争相夺艳。



爸爸说明天花就可能会凋谢了。花儿是以身为教吗？生命无常，把握当下，恒持刹那。

静思语：在顺境中要有无常观，在逆境中要有因缘观。

祝大家新年快乐。

在生日前一天，从上人手上接过福慧红包，生日当天，也拿到了佛珠。收到了从新加坡的几个短讯，伙伴与学长的祝福卡，还有一位印尼伙伴亲自做的精美书签；一次在火车上的“每年的今天”，第二次在桃园静思堂，思妮的挂饰，还有宏量给其他国家的慈青写的生日卡。收到了从素未见面的慈青伙伴的祝福，是有感动的啦。

感觉就像收到了好多的生日礼物，真的非常感恩大家。带着满满的祝福和礼物，也开始收拾心情离开台湾。但是，最感动，最大的生日礼物，还是爸爸出钱让我能参加这次的台湾之旅吧。

二十二岁了，该是时候长大了。

第三次上台，第二次的会务报告，心情却是更加紧张，因为，上人将到现场。当知道终于有机会真正看见上人，再也不是在影带中，画面上的上人而已，心里的那份雀跃，兴奋是难以形容。我和利为两个人就像将看到圣诞老公公的小女孩们般竟然又兴奋又紧张。下台后还发现连济雨师伯也到了，就坐在我们旁边。

当我们在讲经堂外方等待上人的来临时，看到工作人员们都非常紧张，忙着跑来跑去打点一切，整个静思堂的气氛都改变了，呼吸的空气也好像凝固了。心里扑通扑通跳得非常快，简直是比要上台的心情还要紧张。

然后上人就出现了。没有预知，上人踏着轻快的脚步，数秒钟后就消失在视线里，留下还未回神的我。

第一次要在讲经堂上台报告会务报告，心里非常十分难以形容地紧张。前一晚因为忙着在脑袋中打稿，彻夜难转，第二天四点起床就带着忐忑不安的心。幸好有利为陪伴在身边。她的镇定也变成了我的强心针。本来还在控制着心情，但工作人员却一直提醒我们等下的会务报告将会现场连线给上人看，所以要记得称呼上人和各位常住师父。子荣kor kor 好意的 prep talk，却因为一句“不用担心，你代表新加坡，我们每位都会在台下为你打气”，令我更加心跳加速。

问讯后，站在台上，看着台下黑压压的人群，感觉到九百多双眼睛正在望着我和利为。突然间，心跳渐渐恢复正常，呼吸开始顺畅。虽然没有想像中那么紧张，但是我还是紧张到笑不出。整个报告过程就是那么严肃。下台后，看到子荣kor kor 竖起两根大拇指，我却感到惭愧。

当天傍晚就是慈青十五周年晚会，有三十七道品手语演出。当轮到八正道时，再次看着台下黑压压的人群，却异常的变得非常紧张。因为手语演出需要全体美，丝毫都不能有差错，心里就感到压力。比完“正念”，合十的双手却是颤抖不停。

我要控制紧张的心情，克服恐惧，还是有待进步啊。我期许自己以后若还有机会上台可以用比较‘平静’的心情与大家分享，把恐惧感打败。

我就是这样度过不一样的过冬日。

北极的冰块融化的速度竟是如此的惊人。我以为大概几尺冰块融化的速度为几年，却是在每小时的‘高速’在融化！科学报告已证明，北极将在七年后会完全融化！温室效应，全球暖化，首当被害者是北极熊。看到真实影带里北极熊在挣扎，要往冰块上爬，拼命地在找寻能让它爬上岸的冰，冰块却是薄得无法支撑它的重量，都一一破裂了。眼看那只北极熊就快溺毙了，我的眼眶开始红了起来。北极熊眼里的那种无奈，到焦急，再变成几乎绝望的眼神，我想我会终生难忘。才发觉，我做的日常生活中的环保，只是那么的一小丁点。全球暖化，global warming，被证实是个无法不可逆转的灾难。灾难在世界各地都在发生着。看不到，并不表示它没有发生。

再回想起，上人常说的“来不及”，心不由自主的开始焦急起来。但，德昭师父说要从自己开始做，至少你的心会比较安定。要坚定自己的一念心，也是我的小队辅给我的一句话。

花莲好美。

回来了，带着上人的叮咛，满满的祝福、感动；心情，却是沉重的。现在才真正明白“慈青”，这两个字背后的重大负担与使命。但是，师公上人的负担更重。。

“我们是慈青的菩萨。。肩负着佛陀的使命。。” 慈青会歌，唱得朗朗上口，可是却从来没有认真思考过这耳熟能详的歌词的含义，我也终于明白为什么唱“爱洒人间”时要长跪。第一次看到上人，只觉得上人好瘦小。瘦小的的肩膀上，却负着那么沉重的担子，就从心里感到钦佩、敬爱，然后再为上人感到心疼。就为了“为佛教，为众生”这六个字，为了达到三愿，祈求净化人心，社会祥和，天下无灾难，上人从没有停过。这难以令人相信，几乎完美理想，Utopia式的三愿，却只因为上人的慈悲心，还有那份坚定的心。困难种种，荆刺坎坷的路，从开创直今，四十二年来的坚持，上人的心比石还坚。上人的智慧，长远的计划，更是我打从内心的赞叹与尊敬的。

但是，上人也是个凡人。也同样必须经历生老病死。上人，今年七十二岁了。看见的上人，走起路来是那么的轻盈，大步大步的向前迈进。我见证了上人说过的“走路要轻，怕地会痛”。上人对生命的慈悲心，也是以身说法，那么的显现出来。有点急凑，大步的脚步，似乎是上人的心情写照。要达三愿，尤其在现代道德沦落的社会，是件多么迫切的事啊。慈济人，能让上人那么有信心大步大步地向前迈进吗？

第一次现场听到上人开示，第一句就是“孩子们啊，你们终于回来啦。” 一句话深入心坎。虽然是多么多么地忙碌，上人还是特地抽出时间，为我们圆缘，岁末祝福。上人对慈青的疼爱是完全流露出来的。对慈青的期许，要做好学生和身为孩子的本份，做人品典范，实代青年的使命；我们能做的就是这些，能帮助上人的就是那么的少之又少。轻轻的叮咛，却是重重地听进耳里，收在心里。

亲自从上人手上接过福慧红包，上人轻轻的一句“祝福你”，包含了爱，期许和希望。第一次那么近距离看见上人，短短几秒钟的接触，心里却起了涟漪，久久不能平复。排着队伍时，在远处已一直偷瞄。原来，岁月也已在上人脸上露出痕迹了。上人眉宇间流露出有点疲惫，却还亲自分发福慧红包给每位孩子，再深深地祝福每一位。

"传承法脉心相系..
..弘扬宗门志不移
..慈济因缘会珍惜
..静思法脉无量义..

长跪唱着立愿文恭送上人时，心中又再次起了涟漪。看着熟悉的背影，唱着“吾等弟子当谨记。。敬请上人莫忧虑。。”深深的敬爱流露在当场全体千多位慈济人的脸上。我要把那么感动的画面，永远印烙在脑海中；我要永远都不要忘记那份感动。

花莲真的好美。

收拾了房间，收拾了行李；心情，还在收拾中。因为知道这次的台湾之旅意义重大，所以心情既期待既紧张既高兴既担心既感恩既。。真是紧张。要比的八正道之正念好像都还未背到滚瓜烂熟，手式还是有点跟不上节拍。=/ 要分享会务报告？冒冷汗。只希望身体不要再给状况，乖乖让我安心取经。

四年后再次回到台湾，不一样的因缘，不同的团体，这一次又会有些什么收获呢？

回顾‘迎接第一道曙光’之文宣组



是用Macbook拍的哦！

再见了香苓！我会好好照顾小香香的。



（是俊伟为她取名的＝）

i went back home on Tuesday. Oscar has gotten so fat! See the layer of fat on both sides of his body. And his face! i think i see a double chin there.
He refused to open his eyes, refused to look at me, knowing that i'm taking a photo of him. He is just arranging his paws nicely to beg for food. This feline has attitude i tell ya.

My mum said she's been eating a lot since i got home cos she eats when she sees i'm eating. Lol. And i eat a lot at home like, practically all the time. So she's complaining a weight-gain while i'm at home. Ha-ha.

On the way back to Sg, it was raining when the bus caught in a traffic jam at Johor. The traffic was practically halt to a standstill and the bus was only inching forward bit by bit. i was really puzzled as to what could have caused such a massive traffic jam that i've never seen before. Even after so many times of traveling back to Sg, the journey was smooth, never before there was such a bad jam. Somewhere along the way i saw some cars turning back on the one-way lane. o.O After awhile, then only i saw the flood.

The three lane road was reduced to one lane as the other two lanes were submerged in water. Because of the bottleneck, vehicles were moving through the only safe lane. i saw a taxi cab stranded at the roadside, surrounded by water, motorcyclists trying to 'kickstart' their motorcycles after passing through the water. i was feeling restless and annoyed on the bus, having stuck in a traffic jam and the day was getting dark etc. But suddenly i felt really grateful that i'm travelling in a bus with elevated body.

分享过后，大家都告诉我说得好，说我成长了。最感动的是连伟庆爸爸也跑来跟我说我成熟了。

成长的定义是什么？

要是说从两年前害怕和讨厌分享的我，到现在终于可以克服上台的恐惧，那，我算是有一点点的成长吧。到以前有点抗拒慈济到先在的认同与参与，这是个奇妙的因缘。要成长的路，还要走很远。但是，我很庆幸在异乡还可以认识在慈青的这群学长和伙伴们，不仅是我的善知识，更是我的好友们。

还剩下一个学期了。让我好好把握，为我的大学生涯，画上美丽的句点吧。

三天三夜的营队，终于圆满结束了。除了感到不舍，也还感到很高兴、喜悦、法喜充满，真是感触良多。想在感觉消失前赶快把它记下来。

今年的营队，第一次当文宣组组员，第一次写场记，第一次看到自己的文章刊登出来，第一次在营队熬夜，好友终于第一次参加营队，第一次在全体学员前分享，好多好多的第一次。。

第一次写场记，做笔耕。因为要用华语写文章，所以写一篇就写了好久。呵呵。可是，看到自己的文章印在日报上时，那种满足感就胜过一切。看到自己写的搞笑短文可以让大家笑得那么开心，自己也被感染了。在营本部写稿时又有搞笑的组员讲笑话，大家笑成一片，疲劳也飞到九宵云之外。尤其是在半夜组员在想照片caption时，所有古灵精怪的ideas都让人笑到肚子痛。即使每晚要赶刊登第二天的早报，大家一起在营本部，各自面对自己的laptop做事时，还可以笑身声不断。每一餐，一伙儿又可以一同下去斋堂享用香积组准备的美食。这一些，都让我很享受在文宣组和大家一起做事。

还有的是，还可以第一次体验做记者的心情。原来，只要我们去观察，就真的可以发现到很多不为人知的一面哦。而身为文宣，就要把这些报道出来，好让大家知道。要不是要去报导香积组工作人员，我就不会知道，原来，他们需要煮二百多人的食物，一点都不简单啊！天一亮他们就必须开始准备午餐了，可见准备工作是需要那么久的时间。要不是为了探内幕而跟他们一同拔菜丝，我就不会知道“一寸菜”，就是原来每一根菜都必须切得大概一寸长，好在用筷子夹在口里刚刚好。。说到探内幕，毅芯竟然会想到女厕里去探听！哇。。强啊！

好友第一次参加营队，还可以感受深刻，我真的觉得很感动。有好东西就要介绍给朋友嘛，那看到你很识货，我当然也感到十分高兴啦。也要感恩你啦，都很用心听课，才可以如此满载而归。那你第一次参加营队就可以如此感受深刻，就显示出你有这个因缘咯。希望你可以好好把握，记住这三天两夜的感动，再把它化成行动。也要好好照顾你那颗善心。记得济雨师伯说的，要做一个有智慧的好人，不要常常给别人poke。

第一次要在那么多人面前分享，真的非常非常非常十份超极无敌的紧张。一想到会有那么双眼睛盯着我，我就连午餐也吃不下。几位学长看到我那么紧张，还给我打气。哈哈。硬着头皮上场，强装笑容，轻微颤抖的双手拿着麦克风，就开始分享。难道就像香苓所说的吗？当你开始分享后，就会滔滔不绝。说着说着，我发现彩霞在后方高举催场的大牌：时间到！很感恩过后大家给予的鼓励。^^

请给我智慧，力量，勇气与信心。

明天就要去扎营了。要开始收拾行李，削铅笔，磨墨汁。。（哈哈开玩笑啦）

希望身体可以保持最佳状态，做到最好！

Happy Birthday, Calvin!

一年一度的慈青大专生活营又来临了！

第六届

第七届

第八届

转眼间，这将是我第三次的营队了。First year -> 第六届：爱在碧海蓝天，second year -> 第七届：年轻就是现在，今年，第八届：迎接第一道曙光。

去年做小队辅，感觉跟学员就没什么差别。真的是做少少又吃饱饱，又可以享受学员身份的优待，专心上课。今年做文宣组组员，是时候真正的付出了。

今天静思堂好热闹哦！队辅组有培训，课务组也在忙。营队前最后的准备，已经如火如荼地展开了。今天文宣要做美工作业，印所有学员和工作人员的名卡，剪纸等等。所以一整天都在小会议室忙，已经可以感受到到时三天三夜将在这营本部忙的感觉了。

i don't like adobe..

Why is it so user-unfriendly? i wanna use Pages. i don't want to draw every single lines and margins and text boxes. i just wanna drag and drop. Arghhh.. *pulls hair*

Done.

Penultimate, down.

1 down, 2 more to go...

1 MORE down, 3 to go...

1 down, 4 to go...

i got tummy.



i discover that if i sit in a certain position, there's this tiny bulging, unfamiliar yet unmistakable layer of flesh at my midriff that doesn't seem to fit.. i was curiously scrutinizing it before i reach the conclusion that

i got a tummy.

=.=

O.o

i need to do sit-ups! after the exams...

(\~~/)
(~'.'~)

人生

只有使用权

没有所有权

雨
在窗外哗啦哗啦着
一串串地从屋顶掉下来
煞是好看
我想起一首儿歌
就去百度一下
找到了：

哗啦啦啦啦下雨了
看到大家都在跑，
吧吧吧吧吧计程车
它们的生意是特别好(你有钱坐不到)
哗啦啦啦啦淋湿了
好多人脸上失去了笑
无奈何的望着天
叹叹气把头摆
感觉天色不对
最好把雨伞带好
不要等雨来了
见你又躲又跑
轰隆隆隆隆打雷了
胆小的人都不敢跑(怕怕)
无奈何的望着天
叹叹气把头摆



我喜欢雨天

Have you guys ever got the email with a heading that says 'UK requirement'? The one that mentioned that Bill Gates is sharing is fortune and that Microsoft will track you down and pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00 and so on..

i got this email a few years ago and now, voila! i still got it today. Why can't people just realise that it is a hoax that have become a chain mail, widely circulated online, all over the world? Stop contributing to the hoax by mass mailing it to every freaking person on your email list. You are not helping. You are simply contributing to the chain mail, by ensuring it stays circulated. Stop indulging in the illusion that Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. Even if he is, he wouldn't do it over spam mail, which is exactly the bane of his career.

Sometimes forwarding these email and circulating them says much about your personality. All of us have to learn to be more savvy, more responsible, smart email user, instead of forwarding blindly every single chain mail that comes our way.

R u doing this too??!!

New school semester:

At the first week:

At the second week:

Before the mid-term test:

During the mid-term test:

After the mid-term test:

Before the final exam:

Once know the final exam schedule:

7 days before final exam:

6 days before final exam:

5 days before final exam:

4 days before final exam:

3 days before final exam:

2 days before final exam:

1 day before final exam:

A night before final exam:

1 hour before final exam:

During the final exam:

Once walk out from the exam hall:

After the final exam, during the holiday:
 

 

Today was the last lecture for singapore film module. For incentive, Dr. Edna has chosen two best films from each tutorial group and filmed the selected short films during lecture today. And our short film got selected! Later after the screenings of all the 'best films', there was a mock oscar ceremony in which 'awards' was given out to winners of various nomination titles, including Best Direction, Best Picture, Best Sound, Best Editing, Best Supporting Actors and Actress, etc. And our film received two nominations! For Best Screenplay and Best Mention. However, we did not win any awards. Haha. But it was fun to watch the films by other groups, and most of all, it was really fun to watch the reaction of others during the screening of out short film, especially during the scene at Starbucks, you can really hear their exclamation of "Ohhhh..it's the father...!!"

Today's Life Form and Function lab was heart-thumping exciting. After observing the various specimen and their anatomy parts, we had a CA at the end of the lab session. There was a question paper in front of each specimen on the tables. We're given a time limit of two and a half minutes at each question with a specimen. When time's up, there was a bell ring and we had to move to the next table for the next question. Think speed dating and you'll get my drift. So apparently, we're being trained for fast reaction, and also for speed writing.

Ever since that 'biomimetic nanotechnology' term paper that my group had done one year ago, for intro to nanoworld module, i've been much more interested in Biomimetic, or Biomimicry.

According to Janine Benyus, who wrote a book titled "Biomimicry: Innovation Inspired by Nature", learning about the natural world is one thing, but learning from the natural world is a big thing. There are 10 to 30 million species in the world (out of which we only know about 4 million of them). For 3.8 billion years, all these species of organisms have undergone vigorous R&D, shaping by intense forces of natural selection. 3.8 billion years of R&D (and still going on)! And the end-products that we see today, the extant organisms have each develop their own ways of adaptations to survive, to adapt to their ever-changing environment.

Engineers, material scientists etc are slowly turning to these organisms for solutions for problems that they faced in various technologies. They realise that the solutions have been lying around them all along. The high tensile strength of silk, which is even stronger than man-made steel, the strong mother-of-pearl structure of abalone shell, my fav subject of gecko and its strong adhesive feet, to how our immune system works (which is being made use in computer engineering to design softwares)... all these are but a few examples of how we can learn from nature.

i think the most important thing that Benyus has brought up in her talk '12 sustainable design ideas from nature' is that she mentioned that these organisms have figured out a way to adapt and to pass down their genes, while taking care of the place that is going to take care of their offspring. To emulate this kind of 'sophistication', she cited this as the biggest design challenge of all. i find it very true. The way we humans solve things by ways of our technologies is very different from how the organisms solve their problems in the natural environment. Having even a greater access to resources, to quote, we can use all the chemicals in the periodic table to make something, but these organisms only used a subset of them, unquote; we seem to create even more harm to our environment in the process.

The short film done by our group for our Singapore Film module! It's called Mum's the Word. i only did the editing for the second scene, which is the MSN typing scene. But the typings on the computer can't really be seen in the video on youtube. =( It's quite a crucial scene to understand the whole story so i'd just explained it here.

Basically the boy (JuzAboy) is chatting to his chat partner (LonelyGuy 69) online, someone he's been chatting with for quite a long time, apparently. Obviously, they both know the gender of each other and so there is a hint of homosexuality here. They have finally arranged to meet up in conjunction with Boy's birthday. Then what happen after that.. you can check out from the video below. =)



Are you wondering bout the title of our short film? Why is Mum's the Word? In case you haven't figured it out, well, here's the explanation. Two of our creative group members came up with the title. It's related to 'keeping mum', to keep a secret, as you've seen in the film, and also the literal meaning of keeping the mother out of the secret. As there's a big secret involved in the plot, we made use of the song from Jay Chou's 'Secret'.

Pardon the amateurish filming and editing skill as you'd notice throughout the whole film (the discontinuity in some scenes, the bloopers and even presence of cameraman, if you'd watched closely), this is a first attempt for all of us.

Oh and to give credit to Yan, she mentioned that all my MSN typing scene can actually be film using a software called iShowU. You can just take screenshots in a video on your comp, which will of course produce a higher resolution video compared to the amateurish technique we used to film directly at the comp haha. So i learned something useful. Unfortunately this piece of information come in too late while we were already in late stages of editing.

High Tea.

i'm high on tea. my caffeine fix. Since i have developed more serious detrimental side effect from coffee, i've thus switch to milk tea. Though i condemn those people who smoke, and alcoholics per se, i can now understand why they rely on these intoxicating chemicals. It's the adrenaline rush, the overflowing of endorphin the happy hormone, the dilation of the pupil that makes everything look sharp and clear. You suddenly become very alert to your surroundings, like a tiger ready to pounce. There is a feeling of endowment of a mighty super power (sometimes it even feels like its from divine intervention) that you believe you can work everything out, and thus the the overall feel-good feeling that induce an illusion that everything is going to be alright. The effect is almost magical. There's no other more apt analogy than saying that it is an elixir, a magical potion like Felix Felicis, the good luck potion in Harry Potter. It is almost too good to be true. There is an unending influx of inspirations flowing through your brain as the chemicals work their way throughout your system. You feel as though there is an aura of happiness surrounding you, rendering you untouchable, invisible.

A lot of artists depend on them for that little extra push in their creativity, for that breakthrough in their work. For alcoholics, starting with a little alcohol in their system, they become witty and well-liked by people, soon they indulge more, and immunity build up and they had to drink more to sustain the effect, and so they embark on a never-ending, self-destructive journey.

Like all beautiful things, they often bring a tragic ending. The wearing off and side effects would be ugly. There is the palpitations of heart as it work vigorously to pump the chemicals throughout your system, there might be slight tremor in the hands, and sometimes perspirations. After the effect wore off, you'd realise that everything look sharp and clear and pretty because you have that aura remember? And that little nice aura had created a rosy tint that cause you to see everything to be perfect.

So you drink again, to recreate that magical effect. And the cycle never ends....

(Forgive the ramblings of an intoxicated person. Oh and you are welcome to come near me after i have my drink.)

People might hope that the meat they buy came from an animal who died without pain, but they don't really want to know about it...Our civilization today is a sea, polluted by man as never before with the blood of billions upon billions of "only animals".

Earthlings

Who are Earthlings? All creatures that dwell on planet earth are called Earthlings. Humans are not the only ones. We share this earth with a cornucopia of other animals. But what gives us the right to use them? To use them for food, for entertainment, for conduction of experiments, etc..

Let's face it. We are doing this because we regard ourselves as the higher being. Animals are deemed of a lower species. We humans are said to be the most intelligent animal on this planet. Thus, we dominate them, and sometimes, we forgot that we are all earthlings, sharing this planet earth, and that actually there shouldn't be any difference between us and them. They are all sentient beings, same as us. They feel the pain as blood gushes out of their fatal wound, inflicted by us higher beings who need to feed on them. They can feel pain too, when their whole body is suspended only by a hook in their mouth. They can feel frightened too, when they sense of their impending doom. But we misuse our power, we look down on their inability to speak the same language as us and we seem oblivious to their cry of help, cry of panic, and cry of pain.

Doesn't it seem strange that we employ a double standard when it comes to animals? We condemned Hitler for his sins, the mass killing of Jews; and yet we think nothing of slaughterhouses which exist to feed our need, which is conducting mass killings of another kind on a daily basis. We all love our pet animals, God forbid that we would even think of eating them! And yet we think nothing of eating poultry animals, who are killed to fulfill our insatiate appetite.

As long as there are slaughterhouses...there will be battlefields. -Leo Tolstoy

Unless we humans understand that we are dependent on animals, and that we cannot live without them, there would always be injustice done to them. There would always be those who abuse their power, those who felt it is just to kill them..because we can. Respect the animals. Is it that hard to ask of us, higher beings who are capable of emotions and intelligence? Be kind to them. If we must feed on them, at least do it the humane way (though the fact that humane killing is an oxymoron).

The video had been a very emotional documentary for me. It reminds me of a video i watched a few years ago, the one that propel me to become a vegetarian. i always cite religious purpose as my reason whenever people ask me why am i a vegetarian. Because somehow i felt it unbelievable if i tell people i become vegetarian because of a video? i guess deep down, i know that the reason is not as altruistic as i would like to believe. i choose vegetarianism because i can't deal with the killings of the animals. i can't stand the sight of meat after what i've watched became ingrained in my mind, the images of animal slaughtering forever imprint inside my head, scarred for life.

If you ask me not to eat eggs and cheese and milk and other dairy products, i can't. On a similar ground, i can understand how hard it is to give up on meat altogether. We humans are dependent on animals, that is a fact. Respecting them, is the least we can do. For this, education is important. Unless there is awareness, nothing can be achieved. The Japanese fishermen will continue to kill the harmless dolphins and Kosher slaughter will still be considered the humane way. To spread awareness, there need to be more videos of this kind, and more people to watch them.

The Outermost House by Henry Beston

"Man in civilization surveys the creatures through the glass of his knowledge, and sees thereby a feather magnified, and the whole image in distortion.

We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken a form so far below ourselves.

And therein we err, and greatly err.

For the animals shall not be measured by men.

In a world older and more older and complete than ours, they move finish and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear.

They are not brethren; they are not underlings. They are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendor and travail of the earth. "

The thing that make me feel better on a crampy cranky Sunday..
Thankyew. +.+

*Drums roll*
Bringing you..
The 8th Singapore Tzu Chi Collegiate Youth Camp!!

(Click for a bigger view. =)

Quote:
Dear friends,

All of us are living in a hectic and stressful environment. Everyday, we are facing ever changing situations with uncertainty and are struggling to keep up with the rapid pace of life. However, have you ever thought, as young people, whether you are satisfied with this never-ending cycle of pursuing? Is this what you are looking for in a fulfilling life?

If you are lost, or uncertain and are in search for direction in life or if you are looking for something to enrich your life, you are warmly welcomed to join us in finding out the real you within.

During this three-day-two-night camp, you will experience a touching and unforgettable life filled with exciting talks, shows, music, sharing and sign language. Furthermore, there are opportunities for home visits to witness and to serve, thereby leading to a better understanding and realization of the world around us. Moreover, thoughtful sharing with the Tzu Chings would definitely give you greater insights to the joy of contributing through voluntary service.

Don’t waste your youth which would slip away rapidly like the wind... Time and tides wait for no man. Come on, let’s go right now!

The three-day Green Carnival has finally come to an end.

i didn't tell anyone i was going to perform on the last two days. my bad. But yea, the sign language performance was okay i guess. i was still jittery but i think everyone did well! Especially for Wei Wei, who just learned sign language song the first time and she's performing already. Siew Woon, Yong Jun, Cheng Yang and Xiao Jun were very enthusiastic and help out on all three days. i wish there will be more enthusiastic fresh faces like them. =)

Was very happy that i found my Year One Bio Diversity TA! He joked that he finally graduated. Was happy to see him so that i can finally thank him for writing a recommendation letter for me to apply my scholarship.

Similar to the welcome tea, i saw that everyone put in effort for these three days. Whether it is learning the sign language songs and practising them before this, or coming early to set up the booth, coming to the booth after class, in between class, to packing up, loading everything into the lorry and unloading at Pasir Ris. i saw their enthusiasm, the spark in their eyes when spending time and tirelessly explaining to anyone who would stop by, even though they have been repeating themselves countless times already.

There were a lot of good vibes around and it affects me as well, in a positive way. Thank you, fellow NUS Tzu Chings, for making these three days possible.

GREEN CARNIVAL at Central Forum now!! Until 24th on Wednesday. Go see see and look look! It will open up your eyes...

There's only one earth. Let us appreciate it!
[Taken from the Make-A-Wish Tree at the Tzu Ching booth]

i saw a piece of green leaf on the floor in my cluster. Strange, i thought to myself. Wouldn't the strong breeze blow it away? It's been quite windy these few days. But this piece of fleshy leaf is still on the ground. Hmn...eh.wait a minute. Fleshy leaf?

Squatting down, i took a closer look at it.



See..it's got a mouthpart. It's an insect! Ooo..mimicry at work! Camouflaging as an inedible object- leaf to mislead the predators.

This is what happens when you have too many Biology lessons.

Oooo..i love deadlines!! i especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

STRESS!!!!!!!!

Corrine May- Safe in a Crazy World... juxtaposed with..
Shelley Chow- Mad/Insane/Demented/Deranged/*insert synonyms here* in a Crazy World

This week has been and will continue to be a crazy week. While i was secretly rejoicing for the non-existence of Mid Term Tests (Yes they deserved to be in CAPS) after the mid-term break, work hit me, full force in the face this week. With one deceptively-easy essay test over, another quiz is popping up on Thursday. Somehow saying that it is only a quiz makes me easier to digest the fact. i'm in self-denial, i know. There's a dreaded 8-pages lab report plus a surprise assignment by a cunning lecturer, both due tomorrow, by that i mean today. There's research to be done on the evolution 3000-words essay and the inevitable actual writing of it. There's also film project, of which i have to learn how to edit a film and getting down to do it, to be due in less than two weeks' time. But we have yet to film two remaining scenes.

School work aside, there's sign language practice on Thursday for performance next week at central forum! i need to work up my courage to speak in public. I'm also learning how to design publication layouts as part of the publication team in year-end Tzu Ching camp. =D

There's nothing like pressure to make one productive.

Ahh..lazy Sunday! Clear blue sky with marshmallow-like cloud! Mmm..looks yummy-licious. Finger-licking, lip-smacking good, melts in your mouth, not in your hand, Cloud 9!!

Okay i think i'm hungry to the extent of hallucinating.. *scurries off in search of food*

Happy Birthday, Ma!

Although there's no pretty card like last year, there's still my sincerest birthday wishes! i doubt you'll see this when you're in China..but still.. remember to bring something back for me!!! =D

Your loving and hardworking daughter (as quoted from Vivian Ah Yee),
XXX



Here's something to share with everyone:

WHAT MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
" Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, They are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP. (Extra-sensory perception)
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
" Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite :
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

=)

EDIT: The above was in no way quoted from my mum. (Some of it came close tho...)

i'm getting heat-stroke in my room. i'm getting cranky from feeling sweaty and sticky.

The scorching sun is too unbearable!

Which of course has an underlying, more sinister message.. The Earth, is sick. Is there nothing we can do to reverse all this?

化‘来不及’成‘来得及’。加油吧，地球人！

香苓学姐要走了。

去荷兰放逐。修读Life Science Master。两年。

两年很长啊。。！！

今天吃饭时我问她为什么没有跟我说。她说不知道怎么开口跟大家讲。然后就开始嘴硬问她几时走啊，需不需要帮忙收拾行李啊，就装成希望她赶快离开酱子。

其实，是有点点难过啦。好不容易才刚熟洛起来的学姐又要走了。

看香苓有点难过的样子，我又有点内疚了。我很不应该。。

天下无不散的筵席啊。

回想起丽婷在推动小组会议时分享的，我就知道我是不应该露出难过的样子，这只会让香苓更左右为难，更难受。

下次我会更嘴硬哈哈。

。。。
其实也是打从心底佩服香苓可以那么萧洒，勇于追求自己的理想。我也暗地期许自己可以那样。

祝福你，‘香妈’。

在无奈中学习宽容
在承担中学习付出
在执著中学习让步
在挫折中学习坚强

那天，朋友无意中对我说了一句话，我听起来觉得有点伤人。刺猬般的本能就被激起，变defensive。后来又想想，我也真该谢谢那位朋友。只有真诚的朋友才会跟你说一针见血的话吧。

感恩伤害你的人，因为他磨练你的心志。

因为他的一句话，让我有点当头接棒的感觉，才让我发现，我太不用心了。干训营里强调的‘多用心，一心一志’，我都没有好好实践。。酱子的转换心境也很不错，可以把别人的批评变成对自己的提醒。

也可以把这个事件变成我的借镜。常常会话里无意伤人，还可能自己并没有察觉呢。说话要圆滑，做人要会察觉别人的脸色。

这一切，怎么那么熟悉啊？

这些道理，都是我家的老爸一直都在重复着说过了。只是我从来没有用心思考过（都被我当成耳边风）。爸果然就是人生经验多。我才感觉到，好想上了很多的theory课，现在才开始碰上了practical。可是爸常说的，不要常常用‘不！’来否定别人，我都有记住。因为常被人用这种负面的词语来回复，所以我也知道不好受啊。

我好想跟爸爸分享。 ^^

不一样的星期六，不一样的中秋节。

祝大家假期快乐！

为国大， 为慈青。

从月头干训营回来后，我的msn nickname 就是这六个字。

与其说那是我的志愿，（我没有那么伟大＝P），不如说那是放来给我每天的小小提醒。

也不知道是哪个学长先提倡的。‘为国大， 为慈青’ 就这样诞生了。没有上人的‘为佛教，为众生’来得伟大，可是也是个能够努力的方向吧。

要如何把慈济理念生活化（就是不只是在有穿蓝天白云时才不闯红绿灯过马路等。。），要时时展现出慈济的礼仪之美，培养气质，我知道我是差一大截啦。还要好好努力。

还有，我要变得更勇敢，更有勇气去面对。。。。。台下的人群。呵呵。

祝大家中秋节快乐！

Sunset, as viewed from my window.

The sun sets behind the pyramidal roof and painted the sky an orange hue.

Happy 50th Birthday, Malaysia!

All's well and ends well today.

The schedule was right on time, the mood and the atmosphere created were right and i couldn't ask for more. The students seemed to enjoy themselves during the ice-breaking games and the recycle station game. The sign language song performance by everyone was splendid as everyone certainly did their best. Weeks of practises and guidance from our "teacher" junwei had finally paid off. The video about the little girl who had severe anemia was heart-rending enough to cause my tears welling up. The videos shown during the recycle station serves as a wake up call as to how sick our earth has been. Hopefully it can enlighten those who were present.

i was still nervous during my presentation but at least i think it was better than last time's. =) It's heart-warming indeed to see everyone put in so much effort into this welcome tea, with a common goal in mind, that is hope to let more students know what it is that we are doing, and let them feel touched and warmth as to how we've all felt towards tzu chi, towards nus tzu ching as a big family.

To digress, i've moved into my new room! It's situated on one of the four corners of PGP. My room is sort of like a pentagon shape, with the windows facing the trees and bushes that separates PGP and Institutes of Policy Studies. It gets pitch black outside at night and it can get pretty unnerving too. i choose to close my blinds but still, on the first night that i stayed here, there's a flying insect in my room. Upon closer inspection, it's a flying cockroach. =.=

i can also enjoy bird-watching from my window as i spotted some mynahs perching on the trees. Did i say i can enjoy an orchestra of sounds made by insects all day long? Symphony or cacophony, depends on how you see it. Sometimes it gives the illusion that i'm camping somewhere in the forest..

Yes my prayers have been answered. Thank God. Now i will just cross my fingers and hope things will be fine on Saturday. =)

When your fate seems to hang on the very button that you are clicking, you concentrate hard on the screen before you, anxiously waiting for the clock to strike 12 and frantically refreshing the page every second or so.

Then finally the hour came, you fill in the form, you fumbled. And then you wonder. How long did that just cost me? Several seconds? Or God-forbidden, minutes have passed?? And you racked your brain, going through the whole process again, calculating, speculating, which does not appease the heart now still beating frantically, the poor little organ that got all worked up from all the adrenaline rush.

That aside, still busy having meetings and sign language song practises for the welcome tea this saturday. i hope everything goes well. i hope there will be enough people going for the welcome tea. i worry about attendence, i worry incessantly about stuff that are boggling me, things that i tried to push to the back of my head, this thing that i have no control over. i felt as if my fate is hanging precariously on the edge of a cliff, from which i have no intention of jumping down. Studies, readings are starting to pile up. When labs and tutorials hit full force next week, they are going to snowball, and turn into this nasty monster that could swallow me up.

Please tell me i worry too much and that everything will be fine. i'm trying to stay positive, trying to stay sane.

i never finish the book. i am still at Socrates-> Plato-> Aristotle, although it makes a more interesting reading than what i learnt in my secondary school history textbook. Funny how last time it was to memorise as much historical facts as possible, and everything was presented in a clean, factual way. The textbook didn't have the continuous, story-telling way that history should be presented. Reading the book now just made everything just fall into place nicely, and everything else makes sense.

Coming Monday, a new academic year will commence. My third year in NUS. A new year, a new sem and new responsibilities which will open up to new possibilities. i resolve to

1) stay focused!
2) think positively and
3) be more patient.

Let's watch with the eyes of a crab (as the chinese saying goes) and see how long i'll last.

"A white rabbit is pulled out of a top hat. Because it is an extremely large rabbit, the trick takes many millions of years. All mortals are born at the very tip of the rabbit's fine hairs, where they are in a position to wonder at the impossibility of the trick. But as they grow older they work themselves ever deeper into the fur. And there they stay. They become so comfortable they never risk crawling back up the fragile hairs again. Only philosophers embark on this perilous expedition to the outermost reaches of language and existence. Some of them fall off, but other cling on desperately and yell at the people nestling deep in the snug softness, stuffing themselves with delicious food and drink."
- an excerpt from Sophie's World- A Novel about the History of Philosophy

Have we become so world-weary that nothing ever fascinates us anymore? Since when have we stop questioning and just accept the world as it is? i used to ask questions like why it is that the traffic light has three colours, and of all the different colours in the world, why red, amber and green? What is the beginning of all things? Sadly, i can't seem to remember when it is that i have stop questioning. Stop questioning as i got some the answers as i grew up over the years, as for some other questions, i have come to accept them as they are.

"There's a difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high."

Currently rereading Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince.
I must read it again before the movie comes out and change my impression of the story.

And also 'cos that's how bored i am at home. Blah.

"Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people discover you, even though they’ve been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lost sight of ourselves when we’re not paying enough attention.

We all get lost once in a while, sometimes by choice, sometimes due to forces beyond our control. When we learn what it is that our soul needs to learn, the path presents itself.

Sometimes we see the way out but wander further and deeper despite ourselves; the fear, the anger or the sadness preventing us returning. Sometimes we prefer to be lost and wandering, sometimes it’s easier. Sometimes we find our own way out.

But regardless, always, we are found."

Interesting quotes i came upon in A Place called Here by Cecelia Ahern. Getting lost, losing sight of oneself has become all too familiar to me. It happens to me, all the time. Maybe 'when we learn what it is that our soul needs to learn, the path, the path to finding oneself again, will present itself' and i will also find peace within myself. =)

If you ask me what is the best way to unwind and relax i'll tell you this: curl up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate (NOT coffee) on a rainy day, reading a good book while the sound of rain pattered on the window sill become the background music.

It has been raining for the past few days since i got back. The weather's perfect for book-reading! i'v finished "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult, a heart-warming tale of a 13 years old girl going on trial with her parents to fight for the rights to her own body. She decided not to donate her kidney to her leukimia-stricken elder sister. Sound like a cold, cruel decision? Her intention is revealed early in the book and the reader is brought on an emotional rollercoaster as the reason for her such bizarre behaviour slowly unravel. i like the book in the sense that each chapter is dedicated to the thoughts of each main characters in the book. It is through their thoughts, their encounters that the readers slowly grasp an overview of the story and pieces of information come about. Even the font in each chapter is different and it seems to reflect the personality of the characters in the book. The denouement was marked by a tragic, beautiful twist.

i finally got my hands on the last installment of the Harry Potter saga yesterday. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It was a page-turner none the less. However, eager as i was to finish reading the book and get to the ending, it feels as though i've reached the bottom of an empty sweets jar unknowingly after feverishly thrusting the tasty sweets into my mouth. The consequence? Ugly eyebags.

It was the last of the seven books. And i would say the best of the lot. Fast-paced, great action that will leave you breathless. A war no more magnificent than the battle at Mount Doom broke out, lotsa people died, a lot of blood shed. There were some comical moments in the story, even in the darkest moments, most came from Fred and George the Weasley twins. Howcan you laugh about it when you've just lost an ear? o.O

The recent movie of the Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix was sorely disappointing. No modern cinematography and CGI could bring alive the scenes in the books. J.K Rowling has not only weaved a magical world of wizards and witches in her books, she is also able create vivid scenes of the story in her readers' mind with her descriptions. You could say it is escapism at its best. Harry Potter is a phenomenon.

The school is starting soon. The three-month long holiday is coming to an end but my 'holiday' is only about to begin now.

i'm going home. Soon. i've finally quit my job at the publishing company after two months plus. i was feeling a bit melancholic about leaving that company actually. i got to see the workings of an editorial department, i learnt a bit about the editing process, most of all, i felt as though i was actually part of it.

The Tzu Ching Welcome Tea preparatory work has begun. The first publicity was done on a group of m'sian freshies. It wasn't really a smooth event. One hurdles and obstacles come one after another. Yes, it could have been better. The speaker couldn't speak well. She was nervous as hell and it was very obvious. She was also fretting about the whole thing in the office whole day prior coming to the publicity event. She stutter, she spoke softly, and she failed. And that person was me.

i was felt frustrated and down. i didn't get my message across. i failed. Thank you for listening to my rants.

i realise i have a lot of shortcomings. i used to feel okay about them. They don't really bother me much. But they do now. They are not okay. The more i see it, the more i can find within myself. i hope it's not too late to learn and change.

What kind of person have i become? Since when has this 'facade' evolved and become ingrained into my personality? Perhaps shadow is right, i have slowly began to lose myself in the process. And i can't change back to my old self. There were some good things about the old me that i'm starting to lose. Feelings that i never know i have emerged. i start to get agitated easily, i get angry at things, most of all, i'm angry at myself. For feeling this way. Negative emotions start bubbling and threaten to overflow from my mind.

i've got to learn to be more patient. To be more caring and understanding of other people. To be streetsmart. To know what to say at the right time. Dad always says, "to be a good leader you must be a good follower." i think i've always been a very good follower. How about learning to be a good leader now, for a change? There are so many things about myself that i would like to change. Somehow i feel that it's a bit too late. Time is running out. There are so many things to learn, and to change. And this is a learning path that i must take, alone. Even as i stumble, even as the pebbles of obstacles scrape and lacerate my feet. i am ready.

It's not easy at all. I need help. Give me a chance to learn and i will learn even if that means i'll stumble and fall. i'll bear with it through gritted teeth. Because i believe. And now i'm clinging to that believe like a drown person clinging to a float in open sea. i hope i persevere. i just need some help.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

无家可归。

做一只孤魂夜鬼吧。

天下，哪里可以容我？

伤心

透




底

='(

“剪到这里吗？”漂亮的理发师用手指比着我头发的长度。

“嗯，剪到这里吧。”我指着比她示意的长度再稍微短一些。

三两下，理发师就把我留了一年多的长发剪短了。长发落在地上，头也莫名的变轻了。呵呵。

之前，本来还有些犹豫不决，有点不舍得。最近，我觉得我又开始对事情，作决定，犹豫不决，拖泥带水。当很多事务需要作决定，我期许自己可以更果断。

头发剪好后，我喜欢镜子里的我。重新出发吧。

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2007/6/18/lifefocus/18029419&sec=lifefocus

My sentiments exactly. It was how i felt when i was selling credit cards for that three days. i know the saying how you shouldn't give up even after being rejected, and how you should always put up a smiling face and sell your product with enthusiasm as though you truly believe in the benefits of the product you're selling..etc.

But imagine people walking past you looking in the other direction, staring straight ahead or just pretend you don't exist. The final draw was when i saw a senior and was walking towards her to greet her when she suddenly developed a certain interest in her shoes and her walking pace seemed to develop a sudden pace of urgency as well. i was wearing the uniform and she had mistaken me for 'just another promoter' on the street.

After the long hours and countless rejection, it just gets to you. It became downright demoralising. i headed home after a day of work with echoes of "NO!"sounding inside my head and i thought i was going crazy... Okay that's a bit exaggerating but you get my point.

..which also lead me to being more amazed of my parents than ever. Both of my parents have been working in the sales field even before i was born. My childhood memories are filled with the long hours i waited patiently at people's house while my mum pitched sales to them. Okay i might have selective memories where there might be times i did not wait patiently which i conveniently don't seem to remember. i remember mum would chat up with the total strangers, wherever we go, it's as though she's just the friendliest person on earth. Whether it's the lady cashier at the shopping center, or the auntie next-in-line, she will strike up a conversation as thought talking to complete strangers is just the most normal thing to do. *exasperated*

Yet, i did not seem to inherit my parents' sales-pitching skills nor of their friendly, outspoken nature. =P After this job, i think i'll totally sworn off being a sales promoter. Like chuan said, i've just discovered one job which i cannot do.

This short working experience has also taught me to be nicer to sales promoters. Next time you thought of snapping at the pesky sales promoter, don't. They are just doing their job.

It's Fri-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! The most looking-forward to day in a week. 'Cos it's weekend oh yeah.

Friday is dress-down day. The day when everyone come to work in Ts and jeans. The only day i won't feel like i'm underdressed for work 'cos everyone is wearing the same! With suits with ties and blouse with pinstripe pants around me, i often feel utterly underdressed in my jeans.

It's 10 minutes to 130pm, to which my lunch break will be over soon. Here am i, sitting in this little cubicle in a corner, blogging using the office computer.

It's been a week since i've started working in the editorial department of this publishing company. Before that, i was push-selling credit cards in front of a bank branch. I lasted for 3 days in that job. Boo-hoo.

In this job, my work is to surf the net everyday, on the look-out for biotechnology related news, compile it, and send to my editor. I guess basically i'm being paid to read the news everyday. The people here are quite nice. The HR manager showed me around the company on my first day here and explained the workings of the company as well. When he told me that the company can also be found in UK, US, Hong Kong, Taiwan, India, etc, i naively asked him, “Is this company one of the branch office as well?”

“Erm no, this is the headquarter.” =.=

So yah, lesson well learnt. I shall remember to do my homework next time before i start my work. The office is always so quiet! Except for the rattling of the keyboard keys, and the occasional phone calls, it's as quiet as a library. Everyday the company bus will take us to the nearby hawker centers to have our lunch. So at least i won't have to stuck in the office whole day.

The workload is light, the office hours bearable, i have a little cubicle to myself, tucked in a corner and no one to disturb me, i like my new job. =)

*cheng cheng cheng cheng!!!*

MeiYoke's LittleFoodBlog

"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't."
- 'For One More Day' by Mitch Albom.

If we understand what our parents have endured/ are enduring for us, perhaps we would be more grateful towards them. But more often than not, we don't. And that's where the problem lies. We don't understand or sometimes we choose to not understand. We'd rather not know. We take things for granted. Until it was too late. This is a simple story with a simple storyline and yet it is unfolding everywhere, everyday. How many of us can get a second time like Charley in the book? "For One More Day" is a nice book i recommended to all. =)

Currently reading "For One More Day" by Mitch Albom. Since holidays have started i figured i could start 'my readings', reading books that i've always wanted to read but just couldn't find the time. But so far, i've only finished one other heart-warming novel by Cecelia Ahern. There's always something else to do..

There was the Tzu Chi one-day camp, then i found out to my horror i had only one week to practise for the sign language song to be performed in a week's time to Silra Home's Ah Gong Ah Ma, of which i knew nothing about.

One week came and went. The performance was yesterday. i'd say i did okay. i didn't forget my steps, the signs, and thus i didn't stick my tongue out. But yes, my knees were all wobbly as though they were going to crumble anytime and my hands were trembling a bit. i hope they were not too obvious. i smiled to hide my stage fear, and of the actual fact that, yes, i was standing on the stage, there were many pairs of eyes staring at me. i've stared and looked at the people on the stage for so many times and it was my turn to stand on the stage and to be stared at. Ahh yes, the irony. i found a few familiar faces in the crowd and that sort of calmed me down a bit. i started to enjoy myself.

i guess i was actually kind of relief when the song finally ends after four minutes and we linked hands and bowed. i hope it was a beautiful ending to a beautiful afternoon for the An Gong and Ah Ma.

i just read this in "For One More Day", "Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted." Though i've never really think of myself as a burden to my parents =P, i certainly have never thought of myself as a wish my parents were granted.

It occurs to me that all i could do is, i'll try not to a burden to my parents, instead i can only try to be my best so that they would feel as though i'm a wish granted.

"We just want to have hoots and lotsa laugh..
..take lotsa photographs..
get your autograph..
ride on a big giraffe..
.....'cause we just wanna have funnnnnnnnnnn


Happy Birthday, Susan!
Best wishes to you. Here are some cupcakes all the way from sg. =P

i need a job.

i need a job.

i need a job!!

i'm jobless, for two weeks already. Having nothing to do sucks. Oh gosh is this how i'm going to feel after i graduate and still couldn't find a job?

Countless applications just went to the bottom of the sea? (translated literally from chinese) Can any kind souls out there hire me please? Purleseeeee... *exasperated*

Greetings from Malacca. Yup i'm home. For now at least.

Went back to my secondary school yesterday. Turns out that the Ang Mo Kio MP was from my sec school, Notre Dame Convent. She came back to NDC to give a speech during the installation of class monitors ceremony.

Very engaging, inspiring talk. With booming and authoritative voice that fits an MP. After she graduated from NDC, she went on to study in GBS for her form 6 and then to NUS for civil engineering. Coincidentally, this is also the same path i've taken to reach NUS. Poverty is a good motivation i'd say. Well it drove her to succeed.

It's good to be back in NDC again. The basketball court is covered with roof now, with cooling fans all around. i still remember those days when we had to sit cross legs on the ground, to endure the morning sun and also the long and boring speeches during assembly. And the labs! The familiar benches, the smell of old woody material. The biology, chemistry and physics labs, the place where we spent most during our last two years of secondary school life. The corridors, the staircase, they all brought back fond memories. i forgot to check whether they still have those long mirrors at the end of every corridor. Mirrors long enough for you to inspect yourself from head to toe, mirrors that are big enough to appease that narcissistic self in every girl. To keep your appearance clean and tidy at all times, our principles once explained. i guess you can only find that in a convent.

i've met some of my teachers, said hello to them. i saw the disciplinary teacher Mr. Su. Yup he's still around. The chemistry teacher Mr. Tan who somehow always called me in class, the very strict maths teacher Mrs. Koh (i told her that i used to be afraid of her when she taught me in Form 3), and my Malay teacher (whom i told her i got an A2 for BM). Saw my two English teachers, Mr. "Scottish" Yeo and Mrs. Gan. Mr. Yeo recalled that my class was always trying to argue for more marks from him. And that our batch was the best in the cohort, but also the nosiest. Oh boy, i do remember those days when we would defy the prefects and had to stay back after assembly as a result. Ahh..those ol' anti-prefects days. Mrs. Gan said she was right in trying to get us to speak more English. Her efforts, however always fall on deaf ears. Unlike other convents where the students speak English, ours is a chinese medium school, and speaking English around your friends is just...weird. But look at where i am now. Mrs. Gan said we should come back and give a speech to the younger batch on the importance of speaking English. Ha-ha. But..i guess that's how things are. You don't do the things your teacher tells you to, because not until you see the importance of it, you'd brush off whatever they say.

After the speech, there were photo taking session of all the old girls of NDC who were present. i was from the 2002 batch and there were some from the 70's batch. They all went exclaiming and gushing when they saw the old wooden working tables in the cooking room that were present since their time. i guess that returning to the old secondary school means more to them. Some of them were doctors, police officers, and not to mention a S'pore MP. i've never been prouder to say i'm from NDC. Notre Dame Convent gals rawks!

Yoohooo PGP people!
While you're happily packing away to head for home..
..do your part for mother earth. Don't throw away your lecture notes!
And erm yea, papers only hor.

Happy Holidays everyone! =)

变化球接踵而来。。来了一个又一个。
还真的是要使出七十二变的法术
及各位伙伴和学长们的帮忙
才能一一化解

人手不够，头痛
看来就要把女的当男用， 男的当超人用了。。

希望明天一切顺利。

Taken last year, just before the Wesak Dat procession began. The Dharma class kids whom my mum used to teach. Ain't they an angelic bunch? =)

It's Wesak Day today. Well, at least in M'sia, it is. It's different here though. Yesterday was the Wesak Day procession. The yearly event in which the buddhists from all the different Buddhist associations will gather at the Sek Kia Ee temple and walk around Malacca, with floats decorated with flowers. I don't remember missing joining the procession for the past ten years i think. i guess you can call it a mini pilgrimage.

In my GEM 1900 module, i learned about religious inquiry. i also learned about reasoning, justification, how you must have valid ground and the conclusion must follow from the ground so that the reasoning is justified and sound..etc. i learned about what is blind faith, herd instinct etc. And the biggest question among all is: what is faith?

My lecturer, an eccentric man, asked us whether are we willing to question our faith, our belief before embarking on this religious inquiry.. Well i admit at first i was taken aback. i never thought i'll ever question my faith. Is my faith really true faith or is it blind faith? i never question it because it's always present in the environment that i was brought up. Though now that i think of it, for all i know i might be a christian if i'm born in a different family.

Well, despite going through the readings that question the basis of faith, the different literature arguing about religion, i realised that there is no real conclusion. i guess faith is just when you truly believe in something, or someone, for that matters, that even though there can be no justification for it. You just believe in it.

For me, faith has become such an integral part of my life, that it has become my pillar of support, the strength where i draw upon. The source which i turn to whenever i had a bad day and everything just doesn't seem right. i believe in it because that's how i'm brought up. And for that, i'm grateful.

Happy Wesak Day. =)

明天就要考第一张了。
紧张。。
心里七上八下。。
脑袋里充满着各种名称，资料。。
Tom 20, 22, 40; Tim 23, 17, 44, Oxa 1, Pex 5, 2, 10, 12; Sar1, Sec, GEF, GAP, Bad, tBid, Bcl-2, Flip, APC/C cdc20, APC'C cdh1, Noxa, Puma, Emi-1, SCF, Skp, KPC, Mdm2, MCM, rpa, cdc 45, PKB, PIP, Ras, Raf, Mek, MAPK, cyclin A/B/D/E...等等。。

好有什么media theories: ideology, hegemony, public broadcast model, american commercial model, Karl Marx's Repressive State Apparatus, Louis Althusser's Ideological State Apparatus, The Effects model, New Audience Research, Streotyping, Postmodernism, Multi-media conglomeration..等等。。

好就来一个速战速决！连续三天考四张！看我的！

星期一见。

慈青学长学姐的祝福卡。

“仲仪。。。一定行”

如果是真的那有该多好啊。

我，尽力了。

=(

　灰灰的天都要撐起
...
由自己的嘴巴
　和自己講一聲　要爭氣

转换心念

转 转 转

可是我一下子转不回来

该怎么办

心情
.
.
底
落

为什么成绩就不能和放下去的功夫成正比呢？

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
~ T. S Elliot

Finally watched Run Lola Run for postmodernism lect. Lola can certainly run. She must have very good stamina to keep running like that. Lol.

Of alternate reality. Of the butterfly effect. What would i be if i never join tzu chi? What would i be if i never join nam wah pai, never stay in pgp, never join sow, or never even come to sg in the first place? i think i would be living a very different kind of life indeed. i would not be able to meet so many great people, some of whom became my closest friends here. i would not have done so many things that i've never tried before and i would not have experience as much.

Maybe there's another me in the other parallel universe. But in this reality, in this universe, there's only one me. We all make decisions. And it is these decisions that affect us. In ways that we could not imagine. I made some decisions. And i will live by them. Pondering about the road not taken, the "what if"s can be good mental exercise but should not be indulged.

i foresee challenges, trials and tribulations ahead. i may not be the best for i'm still learning. But i promise i'll try. My darndest best.

Will you stand by me?

It is indeed heart-warming to find that there are many pro-environment supportive forces in school. =)

Green Day! Green Day...

Nope. Not Boulevard of broken dream.

Think Green. Recycle. Reuse. Reduce. Refuse. Rethink. Respect the earth.

i need to do this.

S-t-r-e-t-c-hhhh

With one bioinfo miniproject due, another lab miniproject report to hand up, and one more CA next week, i need to breathe.... *gasping for air*

White belt

Green belt with yellow tips

Yellow belt

Yellow belt with red tip

Red belt

And now,
Blue belt









i didn't break the tile that i'm supposed to break though, despite several tries. i have yet to master the correct technique. Got a double promotion for taking part in the sparring competition previously, as a form of encouragement from coach.
.
.
.
Brown

Purple

Black