Learn to Love the Fool

Some days I feel like the queen of foolishness.

I'm not usually a spontaneous person.  But when my emotions get involved I become impulsive and....well lets just say a little crazy.

You Don't Have To Go To the Single's Ward You Know

I hesitate to share this story.

(I know its bizarre to have a blogger who is kind of a private person.  The word oxy-moron comes directly to mind.)


But somewhere in the world, there is someone who feels guilty and trapped.  And it is my hope that my story will free them.


Roughly 6 months ago I chose to stop attending the singles branch in my area and attend the family ward instead.  I was only 25 and still single, and therefore not required to leave because of ineligibility.

But I had to leave.


Throughout the preceding months I had experienced multiple difficult moments in my life...both personally, socially and spiritually.

I was hurt and very much broken.  I had been treated unkindly.  I had been made to feel low and worthless.

Church had become very hard.  But I kept going...every week with a renewed plan to reach out.  To get outside of myself.  To smile and talk to the girl who might be hiding a secret pain just as much as myself.

And every week I would walk into the building bracing myself to put forth an effort I wasn't sure I had the energy to put forth.

And every week I left feeling defeated and more hurt.  I would walk into the meeting room and see evidence of past pain and current hurt.  And suddenly the valiant efforts I wanted to make...to ensure no one felt as alone and unloved as I felt...fizzled.

And suddenly I turned inward.  Self-focused yes.  In my own head yes.

I didn't help anyone.  I didn't reach out to anyone.

And worse...I couldn't listen and learn myself.


I was spiraling.  My hurt was turning into bitterness and anger.

I had stayed out of feelings of duty and responsibility.  But was I doing anyone any good?

I wasn't.  So I stepped back.  And made a change.


And to this day, I will say it was the best decision I could have made at the time.


I knew I could not leave the church.  In the past, religion and spirituality had been a buoy in times of pain and hurt.

So I chose to attend the family ward.  I worked in the nursery....aka the best place in the world for someone who is hurting, feeling unloved, and unsure.


Many people told me I was wrong.  That I was being unsupportive of my local leaders and singles congregation.
They said I wasn't where I belonged or where I was supposed to be.


I appreciate their opinions.  And perhaps in some settings they might be right.
But I knew that for me...at that time...my choice was perfectly correct.



So what is the moral?  Why do I share?

Single's congregations...wards and branches....were created to provide a place for young single adults to feel comfortable.  To be able to find social connections with other people in their same time of life.

So if that is what you need...and where you feel comfortable.  GO!!!!!!!!

But if you feel more comfortable in your family ward.  Go there.  And don't feel guilty.

my Lenten gift...taking a bit of truth from everywhere

Traditionally members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (ya know...us Mormons haha) do not celebrate the season of Lent.

However, I myself (and I'm sure many others) greatly revere and admire the practice.
The act of forsaking something for 40 days....a truly symbolic amount of time...to draw closer to God and the Savior Jesus Christ is a beautiful practice.

The idea of celebrating and remembering the Savior leading up to Easter, a time where all Christians everywhere remember the greatest moment of all history and all eternity doesn't seem like a bad idea to me!

In the past I have joined other Christians and considered what in my life was keeping me from the Savior and from experiencing the complete happiness He wants me to have.


But this year has been a little different.  This year, shortly before Ash Wednesday I experienced a great loss.  An unexpected loss.  A loss that knocked me down and left me questioning how I ought to move forward....or even if I could.

The obvious thought came to my mind of giving up the sadness and despair I felt.  Push it away and force the happiness into my life.

Are you laughing yet?  Looking back I am!  Like that was going to be remotely possible!!!!

Luckily I received some very wise counsel from a dear friend and church leader.

When those of the Jewish faith experience a loss they have a very special grieving process.  Shiva is kept by close family for a week and afterwards many will continue to practice grieving rituals for 30 days and then 12 months after.

These devout and wonderful people truly allow themselves to deal with the loss...mourn the life...remember the person....and honor their memory.

Letting go of grief is not an immediate process.  It takes time, and allowing ourselves that time is the most important step.


So this Lent, this Mormon is drawing from the truths found in Catholicism and Judaism and adding a twist
For me, Lent will not be so much what I am not doing, but what I am doing.

I am not going to hide from my emotions.  I'm not going to bury them deep inside me to fester and grow until explosion.
I am going to allow myself to feel.  And even more...I am going to ask for the help needed to strengthen me throughout the process.
Sadness is an important and needed emotion.  The scriptures tell us Christ wept.  The gift of tears and weeping and feeling is just that...a gift that fosters empathy.

But sadness can easily become despair.  And the minute we fall into despair shortly after falls discouragement and we begin to lose faith and hope.


Easter morning is the single most hope-filled day of the year.  After mourning and sadness and difficult times, we can rise and

Oh Come Let Us Adore Him

Yeah Lord we greet Thee.  

Born this Happy Morning

Jesus to Thee be all Glory given

On that night, on the hill in Bethlehem, for a band of humble shepherd, choirs of angels sang.

I hope my simple voice was raised that night with many more capable ones....

Oh come let us adore Him....Christ the Lord

Christ The Savior Is Born

Not much else to say other than that is there?

I love the following arrangement not just because its David.  We all know how I love my Archuleta!
haha


But for those who are members of my church...you might recognize a familiar melody at the end of the song.  Listen carefully.

Did you hear it.
"Come follow me. The Savior said"

A phrase from a frequently sung hymn.

 "Come, follow me," the Savior said.

Then let us in his footsteps tread,

For thus alone can we be one

With God's own loved, begotten Son.

 "Come, follow me," a simple phrase,

Yet truth's sublime, effulgent rays

Are in these simple words combined

To urge, inspire the human mind.

Is it enough alone to know

That we must follow him below,

While trav'ling thru this vale of tears?

No, this extends to holier spheres.

Not only shall we emulate

His course while in this earthly state,

But when we're freed from present cares,

If with our Lord we would be heirs.

We must the onward path pursue

As wider fields expand to view,

And follow him unceasingly,

Whate'er our lot or sphere may be.

For thrones, dominions, kingdoms, pow'rs,

And glory great and bliss are ours,

If we, throughout eternity,

Obey his words, "Come, follow me."

The gift of His example is the best gift we could be given.  He has given us the path and shown us the way to true, unending happiness.

Rejoice, Rejoice

This is one of my favorite Christmas songs about Christ.

Not just for the beautifully haunting melody.
The poetic imagery of the lyrics is powerful.

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night

And death's dark shadows put to flight.

Close the path to misery.

From depths of Hell Thy people save

And give them victory o'er the grave

How beautiful to consider.  

In life so often we are stuck in the gloomy clouds of night, the dark shadows that try to swallow us up.  

But through Jesus Christ we are given victory over all that saddens...all that threatens to destroy our happiness and joy.

He can save us...not just from the Hell they teach you about in Sunday School.  But from the personal hells that we all experience at one time or another in life.

All I Want For Christmas Is You

Mariah Carey's version is cool and fun and peppy.
But...there is something about Michael Buble's version.

He kinda slows it down and brings out the romance of it.


We all love Christmas for the reindeer and the trees and the stockings.
We love Christmas for how it reminds us of the birth of Jesus Christ and the true meaning of the season.

But it also is wonderful for how it lets us be close to the ones we love.

Family, friends, that special someone.


Its a time when the best gift is time, memories and perfect moments.

http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People

Share The Gift

Its a work weekend...so sleeping is taking precedence over deep and skillful writing.  (cause that happens so often on this blog!!!!)


But I have been wanting to share this video since it was released.
And now is the PERFECT moment.


(warning...I get weepy at the end.  every time.  just a public service announcement)

A Little James Taylor For Y'all

They can't all be spiritual and moving can they???

Haha


My mom is kinda a James Taylor fan.   Especially James Taylor Christmas.


I always make fun of her for it a little.  Complaining about his songs.

But then last year, for some reason this song became one of my favorites.

I love the slight melancholy-ness.

(yes, I know its not a real word!!!!)


Christmas can be a time of missing and longing to be with those you love.
Sometimes you get to be and other times you don't.


Here's hoping you all get to be with those you love this year!!!!

Believe

I'm an adult.  My age says so.  But I hope I never become a grown up.

Grown ups forget the magic.

They forget the echoing silence of a nighttime snowfall.

Or the wonder of the sea of lights twinkling throughout the neighborhood.

Grown ups don't fall asleep next to the Christmas tree.

They don't make lists for Santa or leave cookies and carrots.

You won't catch a grown up dancing to Christmas music

And they certainly won't close their eyes and make a wish that the hat they put on their snowman will bring it to life.

As we grow up and get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life...bills, work, insurance claims, 401Ks....we forget the magic and hope that comes with Christmas time.

Rudolph and Santa and Frosty are replaced with Bosses, Presidents, and the all powerful and mystical THEY.

But Christmas is more than just a day.  

Its a season.  A season for gratitude and a season for love.

A season to be with those you hold most dear and to make cherished memories.

Its a time to remember that the world isn't all bad.

The news may be full of wars and rumors of wars.

Famines and pestilence.  Earthquakes and disease.

Poverty and hunger and violence.

But also somewhere there is a child....making a wish on a Christmas star.

There is beauty and there is magic.

Never grow up too much to forget that.

Angels

I almost feel like I could probably post from now until Christmas about angels.


This is one of those songs and arrangements that literally makes your heart swell out of your chest.

This year has brought many difficult moments, but there has always been an angel there to carry me.

I'm usually pretty bad about recognizing answers to prayers and divine intervention in my life.

But I think its cause I forget about the angels.

Normal everyday people.  Doing normal ordinary things.

But at just the right moment.


I suppose I could say "so pay attention"
But I also think a "be one for someone" is also in pretty good order.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this arrangement.  INSANITY!!!!

Today was a bit of a roller coaster!
I won't get into too many details...other than that I suddenly sat in shocked dismay feeling as though I had lost an ally and a protector.

It luckily was a misunderstanding and I ended the night with two allies and two protectors.

But there for a while I felt very low. And as I drove home, this song came on.

"To free all those who trust in Him from Satan's power and might"

Satan was trying to bring me down.  But my Savior came in to free me from his power and might.

This time of year its easy to think a lot about Christ and what He has done for us...in a general wide expanse sense.

BUT

I know I don't usually think about the little things.  The tiny moments when He frees us from Satan's power and might.

The moments when He truly gives us comfort and joy....not just tidings of it.

And for those moments I will be forever grateful.

Merry Christmas

So a million years ago (ok it was only like 3...it just feels like a million) I ended a 365 day lyric blog.  A song a day.  All year.

It was exhausting honestly haha.  But after I finished, I missed it.  And ever since a small part of me has always longed for the days when I had guidance and direction on what to write about!

And now here we are at Christmas time.  And Christmas music is a constant sound at my house and in my car.

Christmas songs are so special...and I have many favorites.

Maybe thinking about Christmas songs will finally help me get over my blog writers blog hump!!!


Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

I Shall Not Live In Vain

Some more lovely words on this Wednesday.