My first job..first of all i finali and officially graduated from NUS. this mark an end of my study life. use to be so looking forward to come out and work so as to run away from examinations but now i sort of have a different feeling. today is my third day of work. i worked as a research chemist. yes the designation sounds nice but well i feel it is a very stressful job. its oni the third day and i feel the stress or rather the 1st day i already feel it this way. my department is pretty small. besides me there are 2 other chemists and both are ladies. a guy which i dunno wat he does and 2 manager. the person i am reporting is a manager and he is also new to the company. he oni came here in march. at 1st i am not reali scared of him but dunno y as time passes and as i hear more from my colleague the fear in me grew. i am worried that i am not gd enuff cos i jolly well neo that my chemistry knowledge sucks big time. some how i feel abit lost probably i am still new... i dunno.. i juz hope this type of feeling will fade away.
oh yar and i juz got to neo from my colleague that actuali when they are choosing for a person to come in they actuali haf another person in mind. he has an honours and this is wat boss is looking for. so well i am oni a deg holder and i am his 2nd choice. so this guy happen to reject this job and this is the reason y i got this job. sounds abit sad but well this is 1 fact of life. if u r not the better 1 u will be the 2nd choice. now probably i understand y he keep saying that as long as i try he is hapi enuff. haiz.. i also dunno.
for this 3 days i always wake up in the morning feeling veri reluctant to go to work. i reali hate this feeling and this week pass exceptionally slow for me. and the boss actuali asked me if i did cont to look for other job when i am informed i am selected and i say no and he look abit shocked. i guess probably i shd cos maybe i am juz not suitable.
in this company i will be on 1yr contract b4 converting into perm. so in my 1yr contract = 365 days i already left 362 days. i shall cont to count down to the end of my contract. its sad to see that its oni the beginning of my contract and i am starting to count down.
_`i love u`_
haiz... faced wif a some comments lately and i am bothered by it.. already demoralised and the more i hear the more i feel demoralised... dunno if anyone will understand how i feel... haiz... probably this is the fact of life which i cant accept at this point of my life...
_`i love u`_
