hudwhuhdjaknd nbczxbciuepoqhwidnjwbdkajbsbdkjsbduqhonndjsanbbsdiwwerthyjukixcvbnmsgtcnksldhygy6i80495hjfndxvmdjgzhos0yuejftmgueioepotywkl,sjanhjnbjbakbdjsanbsa nbckanbfpiewufiwbfkj bkf lashfwaeipwnbekfn c;kj an;cfsn d;ovfanw;dnfc;ownhfeihnskzc;sKLnvSNV;LSKND;ovuewphf[OJF'PJFONSKNVJNXV,M X VIHSFHVNS;NV KFDHNVSWNV;OAHWNSVJ NS VNBSIRH[o9hfrp9wnhrfowjfownf
my window is nv open...
_`i love u`_
i love my darling..
heez...yesterday i went to sch to do my wisp project..heez..had a veri fun time rehearsing..haha...laugh like nobody business...then we played wif that 'anthrax balloon' hahah...so fuuny..wat a powdery day...heez...hope our show will be nice..heez...
next we went to canteen 1 to have our lunch..i and darling are fish and chips..heez..not bad.heez.. yum yum..haha...then we went to ah boon's house..heez.. my laogong bought ps2 from boon..heez.. he was elated..heez...see him so hapi i also hapi..heez..boon's mum veri nice and friendly..heez..
then i went to deary's house..heez...then we watched tv together wif his parents..then he did our online 'stuff'..heez...finali...then deary start playing his ps2...haha..nice game..quite exciting..but the bad part is he dun haf memory card...sob sob...so no matter how far he played he still haf to start from square 1 again....
then dear went to change clothes..so left me and his mum in the living room..then she started talking to me..haha..feel hapi she talked to much to me..telling me a number of things..heez...
dinner time!! heez..didnt neo his mum not cooking..so deary his parents his eldest sis and me went to great world city's crystal jade to eat..heez..thanx to his parents..have a full meal..but we wait fo quite long..heez...thanx to his dad for sending me home..feel a bit bad..cos like all the way send me home then they go back again..but i reali enjoyed myself...deary love ya!! heez...
_`i love u`_
Another day for project
now i am in library level 5..heez.in the project room...been here since 8am..yawnz.. is like i am here for normal lessons..haha..but no..i came here to do project... sianz...so in the morning did PED till 11am then we hd lunch then we did ICP..yap we can finish it up today..hopefuli its gd enough..heez...
yawnz...juz now got a call from laogong..he say he not goin newcastle le..but goin to australia...actuali i thought when he say got a gd news for me i thought he not goin oiap anymore le..haha..well i neo its oni my wishful part..haha..so i kinda of expect..but its kinda of gd news for me..at least his time over there is kinda of similar to singapore and the currency also...so its better over all........
ok i go do ped liao..
_`i love u`_
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Common test over!!!
yes!!muhaha..common test is over!!! got headache since yesterday..i can tell u its killing me...ok lets review on my 3 papers..
AEM
sigh...i guess this will be my worse paper...wonder if i will pass...sigh...got 1 ques 30marks..a gif away ques..but due to careless mistake i think all the marks flew away...so lets hope for the best....
UOP
well..i didnt ask anyone on their ans...cos i dun want to neo how i fair..but i guess shd be much better than my AEM paper..heez..so well i am quite statisfied up till now...but i neo i made a mistake in 1 ques..the freundlich equation thingy...
PCON
emm..i also dunno i correct or wrong..hahah..juz do for the sake of doin..i tried my best...if i reali dun do well...means i am slow and reali need to study more more more....something happened...until the last 10mins then i notice there is still 1 more ques...but lucky enough i managed to complete it before time is up...heez...
well..heez...now i am in the library..hey i am not that hardworking..not preparing for exam lah..haha..i doin my project...heez...though my test end today but this whole week i will still be coming back to school everyday to complete my projects..... headache!!! omg... but wat motivates me to stay awake and alife is later i goin orchard to get my ring!!! yes...finali i got my ring...later tonite i am goin to post the pic of my ring here..heez...yawnz...my head is breaking...help...actuali kinda of sad that i cant go ktv wif suhui they all cos its been a long time since i last went out wif them..hope i will still got chance...heez...enjoy urself guys!!!!! =D
_`i love u`_
Feeling as bad...
well i am home liao..but i am still super duper sad....reali disappointed in myself...gif away marks and i juz threw it away...then i dun dare to ask abt the rest of the ques liao...i think i haf prob even passing it...y am i such a failure....well something make it even bad juz now..sigh.......i neo its stupid to cry over a paper but i still do it..cos i am reali upset...when i thought i at least could do them..sigh.......
i reali cant concentrate..there are too many fustration in my heart and i need to let it out...i reali need to..guess tonite will be a talking session wif me and dou dou..........help!!!!!!!!!!!
mum bought me a new bedsheet:
front of the pillowcase
back of the pillowcase
I didnt do well....
sigh today is the first day of my test...and i dun think i did well..cos i made a mistake which is veri stupid...haiz...is a give away ques and yet i cant get the marks..there goes my 30marks... i reali tried my best...but if i am given more time, i might be able to spot that mistake...haiz.... well my mum say i am juz too slow...thats y...haiz...i am demoralised...first paper ought to haf a gd start..but i dun haf a gd start...is this an omen? haiz...wat is happening to me....=(
i got to do well....i have to...if not my parents will haf tonnes and tonnes of reasons to say me...i got to prove that i did study...i reali did...haiz....my door is closed but y hasnt my window open?
_`i love u`_
No confidence...
sigh...i haf no confidence.. i haf no confidence..tml is the start of the common test le... but i dun seems to feel confident abt any paper...nth at all...suddenly i am thinking wat haf i done for the whole week...sigh...reali worried..tml is AEM...though its only 2 chapters..but...sigh.....no confidence at all....wonder where has all my knowledge and luck gone to...sigh....=(
_`i love u`_
Saturday, August 21, 2004
Talking is a powerful communication tool...
today actuali i dunno to go to sch anot.. then i think can go sch clear my doubts and get my ruler.. haha..so i went..anyway at least i clarify some doubts over there.. heez..reach sch ard 12.30pm..1st thing and the most impt thing i went to buy my super big eraser!!! cos i lost them..sianz... then next i went to buy BUBBLE TEA!!! muhaha... this week when i go to the librry i sure buy bubble tea...
haha...u all muz be wondering how i get it up to level 4..yup..like wat everyone does..i put it in my bag..heez...smart rite...=P ... then when i reach there..suddenly feel discomfort... my head giving me prob and i catn reali concentrate... but luckily it got better...at least my mind can function better...
sandy suhui and zs went to do their wisp project so left me and yf in the room..we discussed abt techno.. haha..oh liqi was wif us for a while but he went home after lunch.. heez... finali sandy is back so we went down to buy food...jp joined us.. heez..i bought suasge.. heez.. nice nice.. smuggle up again..haha...bad bad...
then start to study again..then they talked abt CD pro 2.. haha.."kao bei".. ahha...our whole stay there is filled with this words... ahhaha....fun i can say...and kinda of fruitful.. heez..
words are stuck in my mouth..cant get them out..so i will juz end here..sori for the sudden end..
_`i love u`_
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Happy but tired...
heez... today went to sch today...was suppose to meet at 10am but both of us overslpt... ahah.... so in the end met at 1pm... was suppose to meet yf also... but in the end tml then he will help me wif pcon...so its ok..at least i got to see my darling which i nv see for 2days...
the next thing i am goin to buy is a webcam..heeez.. well my darling goin over to newcastle... 2 days not seeing already made me so sad.. and made me missed him so much...if nv see him for 5 mths.. OMG... i am goin to die... dear u also rite?? heez...then dear's sis say she going to keep a lookout for the webcams.. heez.. hope we can find a gd 1.... each time i see my dear i will thought abt the day he leaving...and i will be =( ... sigh.......................
4 more days will be my tests.. so nervous....i wori i cant do well...where is all my luck... where.... come back and find me...hahhaa....
4 days to test
7 days to freedom...
Questions questions questions...
pcon sucks man...so hard...OMG...haiz...spend 2 days studying..yet i still so unsure abt so many things....this tells me 1 thing..i am getting stupid..sigh....juz now suddenly got headache... my shoulder aching again...then sore throat....aiyoh..so nervous..stress.....no more tests for me pls..... sigh....=(
_`i love u`_
Common test coming...
tests coming le..but..sigh..cant seems to concentrate......d/l my songs..heez... watching olympic... i nv like olympic..hhaa..dunno y this time round i love to watch them..so interesting and exciting.. heez.. esp when i watched the badminton competition... phew..its a gd game...Yippy!!! singapore won..hhaa..though its not winning a medal..being able to beat a top player its a victory!! haha... guess everyone is working veri hard... i need motivation...sigh.....
23/8 - AEM 1.30pm-3pm
24/8 - UOP 10am-12noon
25/8 - PCON 8.30am-10.30am
Sadz...
sobz..sobz...i reali did not...so upset....reali veri upset and heart broken...='(
_`i love u`_
Our most recent photo....
emm..think i look kinda of weird..haha...think hair messy...=P
laogong we muz tek more before u r gone....
_`i love u`_
Simple but happy day...
today was woken up by my darling's msg...telling me he is ready to leave sch...to i woke up after that msg..went to bath..found my fish still as sick so i changed the water and put in medicine... then dear call me ask me wat time i can meet him....
soon b4 i goin to leave he told me to meet his family for lunch also..hesitated for a while..but in the end agreed...first time i saw his eldest sis...heez..nice nice..heez...after the lunch i and darling went to buy the file for our PCR project..heez...then he was disappointed that i am not goin to his house...
darling sent me home..heezz...so nice of him..love him..then he said that the cover page is not in the center..so he helped me changed and i printed it out...and i found him lying flat on the sofa..hugging on DOU DOU..haha..i juz leave him there...he slpt veri soundly..haha.so cute...
he finally woke up..heez..mum fried chicken wings..he had 3..heez...then we watched tv in my room..cos my dad watch other program in the living room...reali love him so much..but everytime i think he will be leaving UK in 2mths time...i am veri heart broken...veri...miss him so much when i nv see him on fri...juz a day...sigh..
laogong...love u so much..muackz..
_`i love u`_
Saturday, August 14, 2004
Useless Me.....
i am so useless...i cried over abt my darling goin OIAP again....so useless..told myself not to cry.. but i cant...maybe is bcos of all the additional stress and problems i faced...was thinking abt alot of things life without him......sorrow......tears are dripping when i am typing this post....saddness filled my heart....uncertainty.....='(
_`i love u`_
Sob Sob ='(
well once again..i did not haf a happy day... i didnt expect to have it nor did i expect to have a sad day... sigh...these few days wat i did most is to sigh..nth but sigh...i thought heaven will be merciful enough...i thought heaven will leave a window for me when they closed that door...i thought they would...but they didnt...or is it i havent found the window...sigh....feel that i am becoming more and more stupid...i have no improvement but i am goin worse... =(
i am reali tired... tired of all the things....reali... juz wish to leave for a small holiday.... be aways from this buzy and fake world.... wish to shout all my unhapiness and cry out...i will not cry.. i neo i haf to be strong..so i will not cry..nope...i will endure...i neo i can...though i neo i am weak emotionally...i haf to learn to be strong i haf to.....
my life is goin sucky day by day.. i am so confused to alot of things...i dunno wat is reali and wat is fake...listening to a veri sad chinese song...by zhou hui...wo xiang rang ni zhi dao..suddenly got alot of emotions...yap its over liao...i waited for the song to end then continue blogging...
got alot of things to write..but suddenly dunno how to continue........i lost interest in many things...nth interest me now...i juz want to stare at something...and do nth...sit down and reali do nth....not even my work.....my brain is filled wif things...feel the strain in my brain...everyone ard me is excelling..but i am not...i am not even maintaining...isnt it veri sad......my whole world turning upside down....reali.......='(
sometimes when i look at my life....i find that my life is not interesting...sometimes i dun even neo who i reali am...i am reali lost in this world....1 part of my life which i enjoyed most was during my sec sch life.....my schooling days are all so broing....its tough being a teenager nowsadays... how i wish i am still a child..no worries..oni play and watch cartoons..life is much simpler then....sigh....
today had my viva...i feel so stressed and pressuried... i feel that if pple can do well there is no reason i cant..i mean i dun aim for AD..juz some ordinary grade which most pple can do it... but y cant i...y cant i??? i dun understand... sigh...so disappointed in myself...the ques that is given to me is so easy...so easy..y i dun dare to type...i shd haf try...y didnt i dare go type?? y didnt i?? ='( .. i seems to be failing in a lot of things..or i can say all the things....
i am reali tired...tired..tired...mentally and physically.... drained out.... reali wish to isloate myself and haf some peace.. and not thinking abt anything....not like everyday got to think wat things i shd say wat not to say, how to act, wat to complete,many things...sigh.....='(
all i can say is i am unhapi wif my life now...veri unhapi....
_`i love u`_
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Sadz...
haiz...dunno y..been kinda of down recently...since last week..maybe too stress bah...or pms..heez...so tired...yesterday slpt at 2am and i cant wake up this morning..sigh..but was not veri late..late for abt 15min? i think so...but the lecturer havent start teaching..
today finally managed to finish my PCR, part of the unfinished report from last time and yesterday did my AEM proposal..yap..heez..finished... i am kinda of worried abt PCR..cos i dun want to get any C grade... my IS i nv got a C b4..so i dun want this to 'dirty' my record...
wah so many things to do...can nv finish...common test coming and it sucks...sigh...i hate it...now i still dun understand my lecture...haiz..how?? i am kinda of nervous abt that...sigh....tired tired tired...juz too tired to think and do all the things...
today yf showed me the video on the terrorist cutting the head off the american and the korean...yucks!!!! its so disgusting...ddint expect them to be so brutal..sigh...life is so vunerable....
friendship..how u neo who r reali true to u...sigh..imagine the friend that u reali like makes eye contact wif the other when u r talking abt something...i can tell u this hurts...alot...sigh....sometimes human reali changed veri greatly....haiz...dun wish to comment on it further...juz to say i am sad abt watever that happened...sigh...
think my luck is goin from bad to worse....everything that i do seems to be doin badly..sigh... juz hope that 'heaven will leave a window for me when they closed that door'.....
_`i love u`_
Nightmares...
its been kinda of long since i ever have a dream..but these 2 days...i have nth but bad dreams...and its reali terrifying...sigh..sadz...yesterday nite i cant fall aslp...kept tossing and turning ard..but i still cant slp but when i finally fall aslp...i had bad dreams...and my dreams are all so complicated....ghosts and pple chasing me...its so horrifying...=(
hope all my bad dreamz will end...
Sadz...
sigh..sad...i am not gd wif words..i dunno how to say how i am feeling..dunno how to say to make u understand....phobia..is not a thing that can be overcome easily to me esp when it goes to phobia in heart....='(
_`i love u`_
Stressed...
oh man..dunno wats happening..feel so so stress...sigh...no work is done... getting stressed by all the projects and nv ending assignment....yr 3 is reali so so different from yr 2.... much different..there is nv a day when u can relax..even when u r relaxing there will be this thing in ur mind that tells u got unfinished stuff..sigh..
common test coming..but i neo nuts abt pcon...sigh....so sad and stressed...=(
Happy Day!!!
yesterday went out wif my laogong...watch movie, buy top, tek neo card, buy ring...haha..the ring is super unique..no 1 will ever haf that ring..haha..rite dear..haha...think i neo need to write much..cos all of it can be read from dear's blog..heez...
heard from joel next week they will neo who is goin for oiap and to which place..sigh..plus so stress so many projects to do..but seems like my projects are all in slow progress..sigh...i want to do well..some more common test is coming..but...all the subjects are so hard..OMG...i am getting nervous..sigh...
_`i love u`_
LSCT Charity event!!
yap finally we managed to fulfill all our duties as a main com members for 03/04..heez..we did our charity event today...heez..its a funfair organised to NPSU..we got a stall there..stall no.4..heez..and we sold kacang puteh...but this time round the kacang puteh were sold in a different manner..
yesterday we got a news from the organiser saying that we muz get a licensed food vendor to packed our kacang puteh b4 selling to the public..but in such a short notice we were unable to get a licensed food vendor..after some negotiation with the manager we finally can packaged our nuts ourselves..heez..so first we borrowed a sealier from ME and we went to buy the transparent plastic bag..heez..
after buying we went back to our clubhs and start our mass production..heez..of course we did the necessary hygene precaution,we wore gloves..heez..i packed the stuff till 10pm..then laogong, gary and boon stayed overnite to complete the rest and did the decorations..really thankful that i got such gd friends and members to help me..heez..so hapi..after they finished everything its already 3am...poor guys...u all suffered..but well u will be awarded!!!! hhaha..guess wat is that? CCA points!!! haha... *boon u will not get urs =P* muhaha...
today reached the clubhs ard 845am..then saw that everything was done..heez..feeling grateful..then got jeck sees to help me write the words on our signboard..heez..cos i neo i will nv write it nicely..heez...then laogong jeck sees and i brought all the things to the atrium.. to our surprised..when we got all the nicely packed kacang puteh placed on the table it looked so professional..OMG..haha..so nice..simple yet attractive..this time round other then nuts we also got ourselves 'Hello Panda' , 'tapioca chips(those sold in the vending machine)...and within the 1st hour its all sold out..and our nuts also started to run out on the 3rd hour....
no choice..i seeked help from gary hoped that he could accompany me to get more stocks.. so after some terrible incident i rushed down in cab to bukit gombak and saw ann..heez..so 3 of us went together..and i thought of my advance theory..ahha..i will get it soon..ok back to the topic..haha...told the taxi uncle i want go northlink building...guess wat..he dunno the way and gif us attitude...he brought us to northtech instead..and drove us using the long route..wat the hell..so we managed to reach the place at 2pm+..this time round i found a shorter route to the warehouse..haha..
finali got our stock and we tried to flag for a cab..but there is no taxi in sight...not at all..haha..so i called for a cab..but waited veri long for the cab no..so b4 i got the cab no. finali our saviour is here...A CAB!!! haha...reached back sch..and the first thing we do is to rush to the stall..OMG...the stock we brought back is not enough to replenish..cos alot more were being sold while we went to replenish..but well thats the best we can do....
the moment we placed hello panda,pocky and the tapioca chips..the sales increase rapidly..haha..so hapi..how i wish open house was half as successful as today...then we will earn alot alot..hahaha...so today our stocks were all wiped out..so tml NO NEED to open stall..yeah!!!! so hapi..yippy...
special thanx goes to adrian, jeck sees, ah boon, gary, ann, dan xian, xiao fei, dr koh, esp mdm tan,mr tang who helped us borrowed the seling machine,last but not least my laogong...heez...
today was a successful day except for some things...which kinda of marks the turning pt...
i learnt a lesson to day...that is to neo how to control ur emotions and not to let it affect the current job u r doin...due to my emotional character i nearly caused lsct to earn less for charity....yap...i neo its kinda of late to learn it now..but i do believe in some part of our life everyone will make the same mistake..though we told ourselves not to..but went u r in that situation..ur emotions will make lose the ability to make decision...
*singing the life science song away....*
_`i love u`_
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
death can be so sudden....
sigh...dunno y these few days my life is filled wif saddness...super tired day for me..yawnz.. after the 4pm lecture today i went home immediately to slp...was slping quite nicely and suddenly my mum started screaming for me...saying my grandma is passing away... being screaming awake and first thing i heard is abt death my heart dropped...tears filled my eyes..feel so lost at the moment and alot of future images flashes in my mind..so scared...without the presence of my grandma many things will happen...sigh..
got me so worried...but in the end 15min later my dad called back said that my uncle anyhow say..true my grandma is sick..difficulty in breathing...her lungs got water..refuse to tek med..therefore result in today's incident...sigh...
but the 'damage' is already done...sadz....
my relationship with my grandma is not closed.. cos i seldom get to see her..even if i see her we also nv communicate much... at first i thought even if she were to die, i will not be too sad..but i was wrong..suddenly i am lost of words..i didnt neo wat to say..so many things in my mind and i cant put them down on words...sigh..juz hope to see her soon..
may god bless her....
_`i love u`_
Sadz....
sigh...today is kinda of a sad day for me i guess...did haf a gd start... then stayed in school to finish up my part for lab report...sigh...when i reached home i opened the letter box...i received a letter which i dun look forward to..haiz..well i expected i failed my advance theory...expected..but still feel disappointed...haiz...today is a sad day for me...sigh..sigh....
dunno i feel super upsetted today...sigh..today is juz not my day...
feel that i am getting more and more stupid and lazy....sigh...
juz feel that human are selfish..dunno y...kept on having this thought in my mind..or am i thinking too much again..sigh... =(
_`i love u`_
King Arthur
yesterday dear went to school to practice his viva which is tml...heez.. wanted to go get the kacang puteh...but guess i wont haf enought time to do so..so i decided to go on tue morning and rushed back to sch for my IS...
well yesterday laogong go haf lunch at PS..he ate long john..then we went up to see if there is any movies to watch..i wanted to watch mean girls..but its full...so in the end we watched king arthur..heez..at first i thought that i will not like this show..but..not bad..seems quite ok...oni the storyline seems abit weird...a number of humorous sence..haha...at least i managed to enjoy that show...
b4 watching the movie we walked along orchard road..hoping to find my
XIAO DOU..haha... but in the middle something bad happen which spoils our mood..haiz..will not talk abt it..but..in the end everything is happy again!! haha..walk round and round still feels that the
XIAO DOU at PS is still the best... heez...so laogong bought
XIAO DOU for me..heez...
XIAO DOU is to accompany me when my laogong is away...heez...substitution..hahahha...
then we went to far east plaza to tek neo cards...we always go to that particular shop to tek..cos got free lamination..haha...its a gd deal..heez...=P...oh man but it upsets both of us again...laogong was wearing white colour..and i guess u all neo wat happen..sigh..but i still find it quite nice.. reali..muackz!! heez...
i bought myself a pair of earings..heez..love it..and i am wearing it now..yesterday i bought it i immediately put them on..heez.. nice nice...my mum also find it nice...
so after the movie we went to haf dinner...after that laogong wanted to send me home but i guess it will be too tiring for him..so well i say its ok...i will go home myself...well 'long' distance relationship is like that..haha..haf to do away wif some stuff...but well..haha..ermm..haha..not goin to say lah..=P
when i reached compass point i went to watsons..heez..watson is on level 3 but i was msging my darling till i up 1 more level up..so stupid rite..hahah..so paiseh..i macham playing escalator like that...i went to watson to help mum buy a multistyler..heez..can rebond hair can make wavy hair..style in 8 ways..heez..mum say want to make big curl for me..haha..i scared sia..guess i will try in 1 day at home b4 stepping out of the house.. then i also bought a nail strengthener..cos my nails chip and peel easily so i intend to try see if got any use..heez...
then yesterday i spent abt an hour plus to help straighten my mums hair...haha..arm tired..haha..but its fun..when we see wavy hair turn straight..wah..the sense of achievement..haha...
well to make up wif that 'damaged' neo card we decided to go tek again next sat..heez..after the charity drive..heez.. long time since we took neo card and watch movie...life is simply too buzy...but i am glad that he is always by my side....=D
love ya darling!!!!! heez...*blushing*
_`i love u`_