show me the way to the future;

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

~ 2:54 AM ~

im closing down this blog. for many donkey reasons.
life has not been good to me. perhaps, i will start another blog. a new life.
but perhaps. i might be able to see some of you back there. (:

boy, wake up your idea. i can foresee that the outcome wont get any better

Saturday, January 26, 2008

~ 9:01 AM ~

so... just another one more week will be my 18th birthday. i got no idea why. this year seems to be so u-lu. means, no mood. moodless birthday. i got no idea how and who to celebrate it with. shit. whats happening to me. isnt this suppose to be the happiest moment of my life? but i dont seems to be happy about it at all.
thus, anybody wanna celebrate my birthday with me? tell me ok? i would love to celebrate my birthday with my lil friends! =)

next week is gonna be another kuku week. haix. my CNY seems to be sad ah. dunno why. also, i dont know when to celebrate my birthday ah. having CO practice on fri, night free... BUT but BUT... having SPA on sat morning. =.= and AND and... most prob chingay training after SPA... but i'll be free in the afternoon. =) den sun, im free for the whole day! well... these are tentatively plans. =) HAIX. SAD BIRTHDAY.

well... ytd, i went to kenrick's wake. i really dont know how to describe my feelings. but i really really admire his parents. i dont know how to put it down in words. these two days, i'd been thinking about a lot of things. i wonder when i can stop thinking about these unhappy things. but somehow, the feeling is too overwhelming that it really affects my appetite and mood. i really need to treasure people around me. because life is short.

my birthday~ haix. anybody wants to go clubbing?

sometimes, i just dont know what to do. im not in the mood to think of what needs to be done to our relationship. from your responses, i think, theres no love between us anymore. if you really wants to hold on to this relationship, you wont bother about anyother things can go ahead to try to hold on to it since im willin gto give you another chance. but in this case, you are not. what you care about is you are too afraid to try. theres nothing i can do if that is the case.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

~ 6:07 AM ~

today, when we were all enjoying and engaging ourselves in tutorials, our friend passed away. i couldnt describe the feeling i had when i heard of the news. my heart sank. everyone, those who know him, those who dont know him, as long as you are in school, part of the school member, will pray for miracles to happen. we prayed, for him to wake up. we prayed, for him to get well. but he, doesnt seems to hear us.

everyone have the rights to live. some of us were wishing to die. yes, always. but someone out there, our friend, is struggling to survive. why? why did god picked him out of so many of us. it striked him so hard. however, he managed to move on. i know, he wanted to live just like us.

kenrick, i admire you. for your braveness. you moved on despite everything was holding you. i know you'd tried all your mights not to leave us. we will see each other some other day again, this time, i will approach you and say hi to you, i promise. we will deeply miss you.

it really hit me hard. it really affects me. somehow, i felt really sad.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

~ 7:06 AM ~

wee~~~ im back. im back with more add ons to my presents! LOLX.

sometimes i can just think of more and more presents i want for my birthday out of sudden. HAHA. (this is what i have been doing in school though. LOLx)

*) a organiser. (those with space for each dates kind. easier for kuku ppl like me to see. and most importantly, it must not be heavy and big. preferably A4 size) anybody know where to buy?

*) a bracelet. (Tiffany &Co.? never seen thier shop b4. but i saw my bro's gf wearing one. nice!!!)

eh~ im quite tired and *toot* now... forgotten so many things that i initially thought of. haha! will update if i still can think of some others.

these few days are really filled with fatigue. i got no idea why im so lethargic. i just couldnt do any single of my homeworks and assignments when i reached home. how i want to do is to watch golden path and SLEEP. ah~ HELP ME. this year's PE was super duper tough. seems like im running almost every lesson. last week was 2.6KM, this week was 1.3KM on monday and 2KM today. OMG~ my legs going~ WOBBLY.

maybe these are the reasons why im tired. CO practices are not going on easily too. practices are much more stricter due to the change in instructors. as for me, i have to spent much more time than others to buck up my skills. ARGH~ week b4 CNY is really horrible. packed with so many so many tests and stuffs. even on the day b4 my birthday =(. HOW?

who wants to celebrate birthday with me? i welcome you all~ wahaha. it need not be on 3rd. =)

im going off to bed. GOD BLESS ME. and my kuku brain. =)

my dear tia, please. get well. mimi loves you!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

~ 7:07 AM ~

i seriously dont know what im doing now. im blogging when i still have not done any of my homework and revision. i'd been wasting my damn time on this lappy. reason being it had been so damn fu**ing lag these few days and i dont know the reason why. i'd been trying my ways to keep it moving. but it doesnt seems to help a little. i'd not been in a good mood these days. my school work re running so far away from me. mood hasnt been adjusting to suit them. im still living in the holiday or the simply bo chap mood. i've got no idea why.

i'd been starting to panic whenever i see my school work on my desk. they are piling up like nobody business. panicking doesnt help at all. i just need someone to help me in my econs and maths which are killing me. where the hell is my schooling attitude? i really wonder. i felt so much like crying when i was doing my econs assignment. not even a single pen down. i just had to keep reading something that i dont understand at all. my maths are even worse. been sleeping in class because i simply dont understand a single thing Mrs Quek was talking about. the feeling is so terrible. and common test is coming on march. way too early for me.

i really felt terrible. i need someone to confide my feelings to. yes. there are many ppl around me to pour my sorrows out. but i just dont know how to do so. had been thinking bout lots of things these days. bout you and me, bout studies, bout families, bout my future. of course, studies are more important to me now.i just need the spirit back.

sometimes i really what are friends for. my birthday is coming really soon. i wonder how is it going to be like. yes, i would love, really love to celebrate it with lots and lots of friends. i hope this will come through. i dont lilke my birthday to be on the sunday. and its the day right after SPA. yes, third feb. i so wanted to celebrate it with my friends on fri and sat. (dont really like to go out on sunday though, cuz next day is a school day) but i realised its quite impossible. i wanted to go for OGL, but felicia just couldnt accompany me because she does not fit into the criteria. other people in the class are also not joining, except for a few. now, i had to see if Mrs lee allows jonathan to go or not. if not, i'll pair up with jason. and if im going for OGL, my birthday celebration would be like... GONE? cause there's a OGL camp on 1st and 2nd feb. =( also, other than this, class CIP actually wanted to fix the CIP date to be on either 2nd feb or 3rd. and 2nd feb so happen to be arvina's birthday. she'd been crying not to put CIP on 2nd. LOLx.

now, my birthday wishes. i wished for lots of things. even i know its hard to come true.
1) a vagary watch. (havent been seeing it in real life, but on magazines, they looked awesome. esp in the colors.)
2) a branded long wallet. (havent been taking long wallet for a long time, and my wallet sucked now. i so want a branded wallet... yes, im materialistic. but i cant think of any brands now. lol. must be fashonable and not those mature kind lah.)
3) a pencil case. (LOLX! havent been changing my pencil case for three years... =.=)
4) bags!!!! (OMG... tats so impt to me. HAHA. i really liked New Urban Male bags. but they are so expensive lah~ their red bags are awesome! wonder how will thier blue ones look like. =p and their bags are so ideal for school! i also want a shopping bag though =p)
5) CLOTHES! (dresses, tops, bottoms, anything lah! lol. )
6) shoes! (yes yes shoes! wahaha... sneakers, heels, havianas, everything also can lah! LOL)

wahaha... cant think of others now... but if you realised... i a practical person. i would like my gifts to be more of able to use kind... LOL. flowers also not bad ah. =.= omg. its like a wishing list...

think by end of this week, i will go and shop for new year clothes. yea right... havent been shopping for new year clothes. hope its not late yet. dots.

this is the start of another new week. GIRL, WAKE UP!!!!!!! WORK HARD, STUDY HARD.. DEN U CAN PLAY HARD.
ah.. im so stress. ='(

my tears nearly dropped today. because of you.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

~ 7:54 AM ~

ok... i decided to blog after this hectic one month plus of holidays. there were so many donkey things that happened. haha.
i began my holiday job on 16th november. at sakae sushi bugis, a wonderful place whom i get to learn new stuffs and new people. some were good, some were really bad. i'd also made many new friends, colleagues. they were all very nice (except for one). there were really many many things that happened there.

alex, joey,ai ai, yen ping, helen, sharon, karen, kelis, bob, weijie, stanley, ah woo, bao zhu, kelvin, calvan, jerry, terry, nicholas, sujatha, andy, lee ying, liying, mei lan, ah boon, janice, kaien, ying ying, tennard, po tiong, kitchen's aunties and chawanmushi uncles... i think there are some names that i might missed out. they were all very nice ppl. they took great care of me. haha. felt so loved, like one big family.

one person i must really thank her during my whole four weeks in sakae is CHIEW LIN. she's such a super wonderful person(my big foot!) whom i'll never forget her 'KINDNESS'. there must be some tings that she dont like about me, either because im too slim as compared to her, im prettier than her by a lil, im more natural than her, my temper is so much better than her or some other reasons she think my attitude towards her sucks. yea. and so on.
just for my dear readers info, she's a 1.57m fat 26 years old women who has no boyfriend and desperately looking for one. and oh oh! she's a malaysian bit*h who speaks english in her own way. and she also put on SUPER THICK makeups which made her looked so awful. (but she thinks she's pretty) she also sprays dozens of doze of perfumes on her.(she thinks its branded so its nice, my foot) most importantly, the biggest turn off for women is... SHE SMOKES. buay tahan. this kind of women with super bad temper and attitude how to survive... LOL

ok... i'll tell you all why i dont like her. she was such a notorious person in sakae. i heard of her just on my first few days of work. she tekan me like nobody business for no reasons. she screams at ppl who talk to me, who helps me. (whats e problem with her??!!) she puts e most difficult job for me to be done ALONE. yea. thanks to her, my SJAB spirit came back. LOL. perservere and determined till i quit. haha. she's such chicken feet. oh! no no, pig's humongous feet. haha. =p

so... e moral of me telling you guys these was to let you guys help me to take revenge for me if you happen to go down to sakae to eat. LOL. i repeat, her name is CHIEW LIN.

other than this turn off creature, other things was super fine. working there was my pleasure. i quit because i wanna enjoy my last two weeks of my holidays, and the restaurant system was not very nice. hmm. shall not say more. but i felt really upset because ppl over there was really NICE.

other than sakae, i was taking up another part time job at park royal hotel. as a banquet waitress. very very fun environment. get to eat good food too. also, made new friends. =) but somehow, i think things have to stop going. dad had barred me from going to work. i really dont know what to do. he wants me to concentrate on my studies, which i know im suppose to.
this holiday was so bad that i did not touch a single of my assignments. and i i'll have a hard time catching up everything. HAIX.

today was 01012008, im just like many others, made new year wishes once the clock striked twelve. i'd made many many. (shhhh. i cant say.=p)

other than this day, there were some other days which are quite memorable.
firstly was TPJC's band concert, i went with van and winnie. it was awesome! didnt know they could put up such a spectacular performance. (opps! sorry darrelle! =p) but it was indeed great. especially the piece pirates of the carribean and the encore piece.
secondly, daddy's birthday. we celebrated it at home, and i bought mum a new BONIA bag shared with sisters and gave dad some of my first SALARY! (gonna get my second one soon!)
thirdly, daryl's birthday, we had dinner at cafe cartel again... =.= we havent been there for exactly one year. LOL. then went to his aunt's house for christmas celebration i suppose. haha. quite fun. oh oh! i'd made my very first cake for him! oreo cheesecake, but non baked, dots. hope its nice lah. didnt tried anything. LOL
fourthly, was dania's birthday, had another dinner at sakae century. it wasnt quite fun as i expected la. but at least i get to eat UNATAMA DON! yum yum~ lol

i think there were many other memorable tings that happened during the holidays, but i just forgotten. pardon me.

anyway... there is more important thing i wanna announce! that is.............MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING SOON! REMEMBER AH... 03022008! THIRD OF FEB, ER YUE SAN RI! LOL. ppl... dont forget ah. prezzie prezzie! =p=p no la. wishes also can!
hope this year will have a wonderful birthday! =p=p

this friday gonna attend SP's CO concert. to support kuku jamie! haix. but twleve bucks gone. LOL. wad a supportive friend i am. =p and im so broke. my prev handphone spoiled, so i bought new one. quite ex, but damn chio to me. =) thats why im broke...=(

school starts tml! wee~

Thursday, November 15, 2007

~ 1:09 AM ~

new blogskin, hope you guys will like it. however, no more portfolio like last time le. so no more pictures. give me feedbacks

people, im getting upset easily these days. i dont know what im upsetting about. im feeling vexed. nothing can describe my feelings now. im serious about it.
i dont know what to say to you, whatever decisions we make, hope it'll be good for both of us.
i dont know whether im still in love with you. im tired. really really tired.