Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Journey Continues...

Somewhere, in the corner of her thought

She feels that

He will understand

the words un-whispered

in the prolonged talk,

and will come to her

Mournful afternoon’s veranda.


In the longing desire to say

She speaks of everything to him

But, could not speak the words

She prepared herself

in the Mournful afternoon’s veranda.


Wind blows and river flows, un-waited

She remembers

all the words unspoken

in her prolonged talk

and slowly disappears in the dream

Perhaps to the silence, as much of death

Leaving behind

an unread book

Open window

And,

A few other things...

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

In an invisible corner of mind...


I had to give her all those letters in secret, not in that sense that, while giving her nobody should see me. Rather, in the way that, her relatives should not take the words in the letters, the way as it was i.e. as open expression of my love. Therefore, all the love spread across the paper use to be like poems and I was thinking she should break the boundaries of the poem and reach to my heart. Perhaps, she was also thinking in a similar fashion and that is why her letters also use to be like poems. Hence, we unknowingly exchanged all our poems, which was actually, the condensed map of our love.

Now, when we read our own poems, it may look alien. In an invisible corner of mind, thought is spreading its wings. Everywhere I see poem,

in Newspaper

in Television Channels

in graffiti

in railway station

in blogs

so on and so forth...

Monday, November 13, 2006

From the Remains...

As if, time has settled here

In green grass,

Like, she will take all the sky in her hand,

A small child runs

Truly speaking,

Not here,

We want to stop at our childhood.

We want to play hide-n-seek

Not the way, we are playing now

We want to laugh and cry too

Not the way, it is happening now.

The truth is

We are jealous of our childhood

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

A Disarrayed Note on Poetry

[This is one of my earlier posts that I am republishing with a thought that some of my friends who missed it may feel like reading. This may be considered as an extension of the discussion on one of the Poems by David Matthews in Magna]


Now when I am no more writing poems, an abysmally void thought peeps into the mind, ‘Poetry does nothing to this world’. But somebody in the corner reminds me that it may be true that poetry may not make anything happen, but it survives. It may not help our world in a great sense, it may be fragile, but it extends in the wave of feeling, thought, and depth of relationship. Poetry may not have any practical consequence in its’ worst situation, yet it succeeds in the most difficult task of all – it “stretches the mind”.

During this dogmatic war of thoughts, two poets who instantly touch my inner breath are Pablo Neruda and Ramakanta Rath. Two great, one belonging to Chile, the Latin America and the other, native of Orissa of this subcontinent. My attempt here is not to produce an analogy of the poets. It is even true that I am incapable of putting them into the critical dissection of literary criticism. What I can do is what they do to me, i.e., stretch my mind, provoke me to feel not their words but the sculpture portrayed in these words. The cynicism of thought that words are the most inferior mode of communication stands unreal, when one starts reading Viente Poemas de Amo of Neruda, written way back in 1924, when he was a young boy of 20, still continuing his study at Santiago. He says “Everyday you play with the light of the Universe. Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and water…. You are like nobody since I love you…. … my words rained over you, stroking you…. Until I even believe that you own the universe…. I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” Imagine these words spoken by ”Sri Radha”, as created by Rath.

Radha’s love for Krishna is unmatched. But for sometimes I was confused that what is so great about her love for Krishna. Perhaps, the greatness lies in loving someone, when you know that you won’t get him or her. Radha knew that Krishna could not be her alone. He has certain duties to perform in this world. In spite of knowing this fact, she loved him. The conscious mind which knows the truth of not getting, can not love. Perhaps this made her love for Krishna so great. The poet, whose words can reflect this thought, as if Radha herself is speaking, definitely has grown with the words, its nomenclature, semantics, and poetry, not being slave rather mastering them to make others feel that words are not the inferior mode of communication.

Rath’s creation of Sri Radha is considered to be a masterpiece of Oriya literature in this era. For long Radha’s feeling not only for Krishna but also her worldview, which was taken for granted becomes lively with Rath’s Sri Radha, where the protagonist (i.e. Radha) speaks herself.

A poet writes in the far south of America in mid 1920’s in his youthful years, and the other writes in a corner of this subcontinent in early 1990’s in his 50’s. Yet, the resonance created in these words take the same form, radiate the same feeling, penetrate the soul in same fashion. One writes in Spanish, the other in Oriya. What else can be more binding which withstands time, region, culture and language. For instance, when Neruda say’s

To night I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, ‘the night is shattered’
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

How truly it can be understood for Radha waiting for Krishna to come to Yamuna. Like all other times he does not keep unto the time. He enjoys making Radha restless, making her wait, when he knows that how painful it would be to wait. When the anger, sadness, and love all mingle in the same eyes, how it can be better expressed then

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How can one not have loved her great still eyes.
To night I can write the saddest lines
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

When the waiting grows to passion and Radha is at the verge of breaking down, that somewhere she hears the music of the magical flute. She disbelieves herself, as it happened several times before. And the verses go like this;

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shatter and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.

Every time it happens that Krishna plays his flute somewhere in the distance and does not appear. Waiting becomes Radha’s destiny, and perhaps she may be saying it better in Neruda’s words.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
……….
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

How true it is for Neruda, that true it is for Rath. The pain is same for them, their characters, their readers. Poetry releases the pain and that is why it unites. But, whom? The characters like million others on the street, in the slum, in the hills and mountains, in the desert, who came as poetry through the words. May they be from Chile or Mexico, may be from Africa, Vietnam or Ireland; all similar, in their suffering, in their poverty, in their pain. We resemble the pastoralist in Chile with the leather worker in Mexico to a rickshaw-puller in Calcutta to a freedom fighter in Ireland, in the verses of the poets, like the one of Neruda,

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verse that I write for her.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Morning Raga...

[I remembered an Oriya poem titled as “Sri Radha” written by a distinguish Oriya Poet Ramakanta Rath. In the process of recalling the poem I lost the tract of it and went disarrayed. This poem is an outcome of that memory and feeling, a sense of incompleteness…]


Today’s morning is seemingly different from the others in the past
there is some strange brevity in the sun
as if; an exile lover has come to the city in disguise...

Like other days, today there is no disbelief in your eyes

In your face, there is an astounding innocence

A bereaving silence in Yamuna (1)

Birds are lazy to move out of the nest

All my friends are knowingly delaying to start their days

Cows are not in a hurry to move out

In everything, there is a peculiar tardiness

There is a commotion everywhere, because you are coming

Yet, all look calm to the naked eyes

and ears, cannot listen to the uproar

Today’s morning is seemingly different from the others in the past…

==========

(1) More than a river, it carries the legendary tradition of Radha and Krishna

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Fatherhood


This long absence has a sweet justification.
On 3rd of October A D 2006 my wife gave birth to a baby boy.
The attached photograph is taken by baby’s maternal uncle when he was not even 24 hours old. He has not used flash, hence snaps are bit blurred.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Three Love-like Poems

(1)

Yesterday I left my bus

seeing you there.

Today I did it again

(2)

I can even notice

falling of a leaf

Now when you are not there

(3)

The thud like sound

grousing from distance

is my own voice

that keeps repeating your name

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Roads Destined Towards Tree and Cloud

She walks in the solitary road

Thinking that

Some one will join somewhere

In fact, she is not bothered about

Some one joining

The thought that bothers her for long

is her own self……….

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

A tribute...*




Between blistering terrain and my words
a life incarnates
some one at distance
whispers Bismillha(1)

someone at distance….

A boy runs to play with the marbles
the wings spread across the cloud
this is the time for Mallhar(2)

I wait
I wait for your return

Now when you are not there
I gather all these small little images
you left behind

That soothing sound of Shehnai(3)
creates resonance in ear and thought…

Yaman(4) takes uncounted steps in avaroha (5)
And mingles in Ganga (6)
like a poem…

From Taar(7) to Mandra(8)
From Sa(9) to Nee (10)
From life to cadaver
each stanza of your poem
waft with the ferryman who sings a Kajri(11)

Coming Holi(12) you will not be there with us Ustad(13)
Nor your Shehnai will be filling the heart
for that endless fasting of Ramzan(14)

from Reshav (15) to Pancham (16)
the language of your invisible poetry
will cover that miniscule distance of death

I will wait
I will wait for your return
in the mournful afternoon’s veranda
to start the journey from Sabd (17) to Naad (18)

=========
*This poem is a tribute to Ustad Bismillha Khan, more than a synonym of Shehnai was a creator of poetry with his attitude and this instrument…

(1)The holy beginning…
(2)The Hindustani classical raag of rains…
(3)Shehnai is a north Indian Oboe a quadruple-reed instrument with two upper and two lower reeds
(4)Yaman is a raag in Hindusthani Classical, the favorite of Ustad Bismillha Khanji…
(5)Descent, a movement from the high note to low one…
(6)Ganga the holy river of India
(7)Third or higher Octave
(8)First or lower Octave
(9)a
(10)g
(11)It’s a singing form of folk music sung by classical semi-classical musicians. The word may have origin from kajal, which means Kohl or Black
(12)An Indian Festival of Colors…
(13)Master, Here Ustad Bismillah Khanji
(14)The lunar month of fasting
(15)b
(16)e
(17)Words and semantics
(18)The music, beyond words and semantics…

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

A House of Flowers

I have the wishes of an Ocean
in which,
I can paint my
small house
flowers
and many other things

perhaps she will come
and will make it more colourful
he thought

In that long wait
there were a few
old news papers
an empty glass
and some dust and dry leaves

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Graffiti

Graffiti

“Boy” wounds me and thinks

his love is conveyed

“Girl” rips me apart

hums a love song

“Boy” repeats

“Girl” repeats too

what though I am wounded repeatedly

long live thy love

long live thee love

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Journey

The words
Remained
Untalked
In spite of several attempts

The Woman
in the next door
Walked in the alley
the way
She had gone several times
Unnoticed

The returning gale
Carried a few leaves with it
The sky did not change its colour
for hours together

Things went
Unnoticed
in the
Mournful Verandah of the afternoon

She turned her side in the bed
And, saw the slippers
One above the other
Thinking that
This will bring
Some good news.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Afternoon of a Pre-empted Solitude (3)

Time is slipping away from our hand
She murmurs
and
remains silent

She waits
in the mournful afternoon’s veranda

Sparrows play with the walls
each spot on the wall engulfs
array of dreams
thud of silence
and
congress of tears

The silence stretches like river

An old lady weaves her dreams
in the bank of the river
with the threads of her remembrance

in each sadness
echoes
every sadness

Monday, June 26, 2006

Are you listening there???

“The women
we will marry in future
are Black in colour”
…then we evoked

It is fourteen years since…

Friday, June 23, 2006

On an Uneventful Day...

I make a poem
of the words gathered
in a long journey
Uneventful

She appears
She disappears
in a wait
Uneventful

I make a collage
of uneventful happenings
beneath a colourless sky
in the mournful afternoon’s Veranda

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A Haiku I never attempted….

Sky
Clouds
Sound of birds, insects

People
Movements
Crowd and noise

Eyes
Still
Songs and rhythms

They Happen
I see them Happening….

Thursday, June 15, 2006

For Her Dreams....

From the remains
She gathers the
fractured dreams
once she lost
some where in the
Mournful afternoon’s Veranda.

She repeatedly sees
someone peeping at her
in her sleep

The dream stretches till the river
and spreads its colours
in thousand alleys on the way.

Death takes rest in the riverbed
She searches the language of death
in her dreams.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

of wait and destiny

Now a days
She does not come running
to tell all that
what she normally does not mean.

Evening falls
neither she comes
nor any of her messages.

Now,
when she is not there
the meaningless words
she uttered several times before
start taking shape
on the walls,
on paper,
in thought.

Those words become lyrics
and start humming
in the wind
sometime they fall like rain
some other time
like poetry

In a deep corner of thought
wishes start sprouting
night falls
neither she comes
nor any of her messages.

{quite a few people asked me why I name this blog "SHYAMALEE"
though I need not justify the name, I feel shyamalee is the women in me. And I wish to express me i.e. these women in my best possible way. I find it easy to reflect through poems. In fact, to be truthful, I lack any other means. Udayan Vajpayee's "Kuch Vakya" has a deep impact in me. Often, I take his words for granted in my poems too...}

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Khalida

I love you Khalida
while gathering the mat in the dawn hours

in the morning I can see the depth of an ocean in your eyes

when noise of the hand pump echoes in the slum
your looks tremble me

why so you look
so beautiful in this morning hours
and see,
how petite is my morning


The children would be rushing to the ice-cream vendor
in the recess time of their school

I have to reach there

Yaa.. Allah..
If there were no school in this world!!!

(In the Original in Oriya I titled this poem as “The Ice-cream Vendor”. Here I prefer it to be Khalida, such a beautiful name, isn’t it?. I know, I have failed to recreate it in English.)

Monday, May 22, 2006

Afternoon of a Pre-empted Solitude (2)

Now,
it was her turn
to remain silent
And,
She did it
pretty ordinarily
as she did it before.

A thought crawled saying:
True things are essentially ordinary
and, ordinary things are secret
A treasure hidden.

She turned towards the window
She peeped into the
Mournful afternoon's Veranda

May be somebody will come and
disturb her
This thought troubled her
from further thinking

And, she disappeared
Leaving behind
Innumerable marks of her disappearance.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Afternoon of a Pre-empted Solitude

We are growing old
‘She’ told
as unnoticeably
as the leaf falls from the tree
Or,
the crawling insects
in the process of gathering a few things

‘She’ continued her talk
on job insecurity to stock market
from low dividend to falling interest rate
on relation and marriage

Every word perhaps is destined to silence
‘He’ interrupted.
You are going abstract dear
‘She’ intervened.
No, ‘he’ replied
Perhaps, we are growing old.

‘He’ wanted to notice
all the unnoticeable happenings
in the mournful afternoons veranda
the direction of cloud
the unchanging colour of sky
the sound of water
from the open tap of the next door neighbour
And,
the words that remained unestablished
‘She’ would have told otherwise.

Monday, May 08, 2006

A Disarrayed Note on Poetry

Now when I am no more writing poems, an abysmally void thought peeps into the mind, ‘Poetry does nothing to this world’. But somebody in the corner reminds me that it may be true that poetry may not make anything happen, but it survives. It may not help our world in a great sense, it may be fragile, but it extends in the wave of feeling, thought, and depth of relationship. Poetry may not have any practical consequence in its’ worst situation, yet it succeeds in the most difficult task of all – it “stretches the mind”.

During this dogmatic war of thoughts, two poets who instantly touch my inner breath are Pablo Neruda and Ramakanta Rath. Two great, one belonging to Chile, the Latin America and the other, native of Orissa of this subcontinent. My attempt here is not to produce an analogy of the poets. It is even true that I am incapable of putting them into the critical dissection of literary criticism. What I can do is what they do to me, i.e., stretch my mind, provoke me to feel not their words but the sculpture portrayed in these words. The cynicism of thought that words are the most inferior mode of communication stands unreal, when one starts reading Viente Poemas de Amo of Neruda, written way back in 1924, when he was a young boy of 20, still continuing his study at Santiago. He says “Everyday you play with the light of the Universe. Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and water…. You are like nobody since I love you…. … my words rained over you, stroking you…. Until I even believe that you own the universe…. I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.” Imagine these words spoken by ”Sri Radha”, as created by Rath.

Radha’s love for Krishna is unmatched. But for sometimes I was confused that what is so great about her love for Krishna. Perhaps, the greatness lies in loving someone, when you know that you won’t get him or her. Radha knew that Krishna could not be her alone. He has certain duties to perform in this world. In spite of knowing this fact, she loved him. The conscious mind which knows the truth of not getting, can not love. Perhaps this made her love for Krishna so great. The poet whose words can reflect this thought, as if Radha herself is speaking, definitely has grown with the words, its nomenclature, semantics, and poetry, not being slave rather mastering them to make others feel that words are not the inferior mode of communication.

Rath’s creation of Sri Radha is considered to be a masterpiece of oriya literature in this era. For long Radha’s feeling not only for Krishna but also her world view, which was taken for granted becomes lively with Rath’s Sri Radha, where the protagonist (i.e. Radha) speaks herself.

A poet writes in the far south of America in mid 1920’s in his youthful years, and the other writes in a corner of this subcontinent in early 1990’s in his 50’s. Yet, the resonance created in these words take the same form, radiate the same feeling, penetrate the soul in same fashion. One writes in Spanish, the other in Oriya. What else can be more binding which withstands time, region, culture and language. For instance, when Neruda say’s
To night I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, ‘the night is shattered’
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.’

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

How truly it can be understood for Radha waiting for Krishna to come to Yamuna. Like all other times he does not keep unto the time. He enjoys making Radha restless, making her wait, when he knows that how painful it would be to wait. When the anger, sadness, and love all mingle in the same eyes, how it can be better expressed then
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How can one not have loved her great still eyes.
To night I can write the saddest lines
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
When the waiting grows to passion and Radha is at the verge of breaking down, that somewhere she hears the music of the magical flute. She disbelieves herself, as it happened several times before. And the verses go like this;

To hear the immense night, sill more immense without her
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shatter and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.

Every time it happens that Krishna plays his flute somewhere in the distance and does not appear. Waiting becomes Radha’s destiny, and perhaps she may be saying it better in Neruda’s words.
My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
……….
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

How true it is for Neruda, that true it is for Rath. The pain is same for them, their characters, their readers. Poetry releases the pain and that is why it unites. But, whom? The characters like million others on the street, in the slum, in the hills and mountains, in the desert, who came as poetry through the words. May they be from Chile or Mexico, may be from Africa, Vietnam or Ireland; all similar, in their suffering, in their poverty, in their pain. We resemble the pastoralist in Chile with the leather worker in Mexico to a rickshaw-puller in Calcutta to a freedom fighter in Ireland, in the verses of the poets, like the one of Neruda,
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verse that I write for her.