Just experienced a very warm gesture last Thursday.
I was supposed to attend a Christmas party the following day, and being the last minute person I am, shopping for a present for the gift exchange only on the day before.
Selecting a present was not as tedious as searching for a place to wrap it. I was fortunate enough to notice a lady wrapping something up as I passed her shop. Without hesitation I went in.
She took some spare wrapping paper and got to work. It was an exquisite job. She deserved a few good dollars for her work.
"Here you go, you don't have to pay!"
Huh? I don't know whether I was stupid or what, but I couldn't understand what she said intially. I just couldn't believe it.
"Are you sure you don't want money for it?"
"Yup. Just treat it as a small gift from me. This is a season of giving. Merry Christmas!"
At that moment, I just couldn't bear to give away the present. It had some genuine love inside. But Keeping it to myself would defeat the purpose of the season of giving, and the lady's intentions.
I just hope the recipient would like it.
Coincidence or otherwise, the recipient declared aloud during the party that she needed what I got for her! It was just so divinely sweet.
I didn't spend much on that present, nor did I receive a very expensive gift either, but I got something that money couldn't buy.
The gift of experiencing true Christmas - The Season of Giving.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Sunday, December 07, 2008
Football vs Marathon
I never felt comfortable with myself on this day of the year. The day where the marathon's in town. Somehow there is a ego thing in myself telling me to go for my second marathon.
In style.
My first marathon wasn't such a pleasant experience. I vowed to make my second one good. Finish it below 5 hours. But maybe because of such a perfect target that turned me away from it.
Marathons also caused too much trauma to the feet, such that football is affected for a while. It took me half a year to shake off the archilles tendon problem from the first marathon.
But I didn't have time to consider all these this morning. There was an important game that would decide whether our team finishes third in the league. We had to win to leapfrog the current third placed team, who also happened to be our opponents today.
The score went like, 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2, 3-2 in our favour! We ran out winners!
The goals we conceded were soft. I conceded the first by giving away a penalty.
Second goal was a misjudgement by the keeper. Sigh. Moreover there was less than 5 mins left in the game. The opponents were so relieved and exhilarated to get the equalizer. They congratulated one another and even taunted our manager! (So childish).
We were frustrated. We didn't deserve to lose this game. And we definitely didn't deserve to suffer all their taunts and rough tackles.
In the next attacking move that followed, our attacking mid dispossessed their DM, fed the ball to our striker, who rounded the keeper before an emphatic finish with his left foot into an empty goal!
Everyone was like, crazy after that goal! The scorer was running around with both his fists clenched and raised sky high, my defensive partner was doing some obscene celebration with his crotch (which caught me off guard! I never expected him to be... Alright, never judge a book by its cover in future). Everyone else was crazy! Shouting and screaming and running around like mad men. I could only squat and laughed like mad. The image of his erotic celebration was too much for me to bear.
My manager was cursing, swearing, and taunting at the opponents.
Of course, he attracted enough attention to distract the opponents to continue with the game. They game out in full force to form a circle around him.
A good game ended in a fight, and had to be stopped because of it.
But this was a fantastic game nonetheless, due to the following reasons!
1) Something was at stake (third place and trophy and medals),
2) See-saw game. (Led twice and two equalisers)
3) Emphatic winner on our side, right at the dead.
4) Low class opponents.
5) Match ended up in a fight.
After the game no one went off right away like the usual days. Everyone stayed back to talk about it. We even went for a drink after that.
Now come to think of it. Either way I would have a sense of achievement this morning. If I were to run an marathon, the feeling of finishing 42.195km would be an overwhelming experience, but,
games of today's nature can never be as pre-mediated as a marathon. Marathon is just train and run, push your body to your limits, and you'll finish it. Football is, coping with crisis together, and celebrating together when such an emphatic goal came right at the end!
I'm glad to have been at the game today, and honoured to do the write up for our team, for the weekend warrior section of the Newpaper.
Running is lonely. Football is company.
In style.
My first marathon wasn't such a pleasant experience. I vowed to make my second one good. Finish it below 5 hours. But maybe because of such a perfect target that turned me away from it.
Marathons also caused too much trauma to the feet, such that football is affected for a while. It took me half a year to shake off the archilles tendon problem from the first marathon.
But I didn't have time to consider all these this morning. There was an important game that would decide whether our team finishes third in the league. We had to win to leapfrog the current third placed team, who also happened to be our opponents today.
The score went like, 1-0, 1-1, 2-1, 2-2, 3-2 in our favour! We ran out winners!
The goals we conceded were soft. I conceded the first by giving away a penalty.
Second goal was a misjudgement by the keeper. Sigh. Moreover there was less than 5 mins left in the game. The opponents were so relieved and exhilarated to get the equalizer. They congratulated one another and even taunted our manager! (So childish).
We were frustrated. We didn't deserve to lose this game. And we definitely didn't deserve to suffer all their taunts and rough tackles.
In the next attacking move that followed, our attacking mid dispossessed their DM, fed the ball to our striker, who rounded the keeper before an emphatic finish with his left foot into an empty goal!
Everyone was like, crazy after that goal! The scorer was running around with both his fists clenched and raised sky high, my defensive partner was doing some obscene celebration with his crotch (which caught me off guard! I never expected him to be... Alright, never judge a book by its cover in future). Everyone else was crazy! Shouting and screaming and running around like mad men. I could only squat and laughed like mad. The image of his erotic celebration was too much for me to bear.
My manager was cursing, swearing, and taunting at the opponents.
Of course, he attracted enough attention to distract the opponents to continue with the game. They game out in full force to form a circle around him.
A good game ended in a fight, and had to be stopped because of it.
But this was a fantastic game nonetheless, due to the following reasons!
1) Something was at stake (third place and trophy and medals),
2) See-saw game. (Led twice and two equalisers)
3) Emphatic winner on our side, right at the dead.
4) Low class opponents.
5) Match ended up in a fight.
After the game no one went off right away like the usual days. Everyone stayed back to talk about it. We even went for a drink after that.
Now come to think of it. Either way I would have a sense of achievement this morning. If I were to run an marathon, the feeling of finishing 42.195km would be an overwhelming experience, but,
games of today's nature can never be as pre-mediated as a marathon. Marathon is just train and run, push your body to your limits, and you'll finish it. Football is, coping with crisis together, and celebrating together when such an emphatic goal came right at the end!
I'm glad to have been at the game today, and honoured to do the write up for our team, for the weekend warrior section of the Newpaper.
Running is lonely. Football is company.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Fight to the Death
I've met lots of great lads over the years playing football. They taught me via football, how to be a better person. Some lessons stayed with me, others I ditched, and others I am not even aware existed.
Something recently that reminded stirred anger within myself, anger at myself.
Personally I didn't know LT very well. But he's a born fighter. He had amazing techinque, and also a sense of mind to beat others.
Before he got injured, he was the complete player. Fast, skillful, calm, he could win matches by himself. And he had determination.
After all these years, all the battering on his limbs, he had to call it quits too.
Yet, he put on a jersey when we were down and out. He took so much to score and equalise while I conceded goals to repay that. He stuck his foot in where it hurt while I was scared to make a sliding tackle.
Last weekend I saw how the opponents ganged on him and gave him another crushing tackle. Thank goodness he did not get injured, but, I didn't go in and show them my studs.
I am so fucking pissed off and embarrassed with myself. I had lost it, the single quality that made me a great defender then.
I'm afraid to die now, when I wasn't in the past.
Too much of a camper. Too much of a wimp. I used to think people who go all out without consequences were idiots. Now I learnt to admire them.
I do have planning skills.
Now I need to fight to the end, fight to the death.
Fight to the end to get in the sky!
Fight to the end to find my happiness!
Fight to lift people around me up!
There's no point having a life if you don't fight to the death.
So do you wanna be my friend?
Something recently that reminded stirred anger within myself, anger at myself.
Personally I didn't know LT very well. But he's a born fighter. He had amazing techinque, and also a sense of mind to beat others.
Before he got injured, he was the complete player. Fast, skillful, calm, he could win matches by himself. And he had determination.
After all these years, all the battering on his limbs, he had to call it quits too.
Yet, he put on a jersey when we were down and out. He took so much to score and equalise while I conceded goals to repay that. He stuck his foot in where it hurt while I was scared to make a sliding tackle.
Last weekend I saw how the opponents ganged on him and gave him another crushing tackle. Thank goodness he did not get injured, but, I didn't go in and show them my studs.
I am so fucking pissed off and embarrassed with myself. I had lost it, the single quality that made me a great defender then.
I'm afraid to die now, when I wasn't in the past.
Too much of a camper. Too much of a wimp. I used to think people who go all out without consequences were idiots. Now I learnt to admire them.
I do have planning skills.
Now I need to fight to the end, fight to the death.
Fight to the end to get in the sky!
Fight to the end to find my happiness!
Fight to lift people around me up!
There's no point having a life if you don't fight to the death.
So do you wanna be my friend?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Football Inspiration
Last friday I went for a goalkeeping workshop organised by East Zone COE. Wonder why on earth would an outfield player would attend a goalkeeper's course.
Of course, I had to learn something abotu goalkeeping because there are no goalkeeping coaches in school.
The instructor was a middle aged man. He put on a collar shirt with a Singapore crest on it. I thought that was the standard practice on all FAS staffs' outfits.
"Good morning gentlemen, I am Bee Seng."
Oh my God! Lee Bee Seng! The national goalkeeping coach! Today's my lucky day!
Though he didn't really go through a lot of content with us, I think I got inspired by what he could do at his age.
I always thought football is for lads in their twenties. Once past 30, I should hang up my boots.
Lee Bee Seng showed us otherwise.
He was good. The way he fed the balls to the young lions keeper was so... Undescribable.
"Foot!"
"Hip!"
"Chest!"
"Head!"
Wherever he said it, the ball got to the exact body part of the keeper. The way he struck the ball was so crisp, so accurate. It's amazing. Not everyone at my age could do that. To be true, age does not play a factor in ball skills.
How he take his shots was even more incredible! Alright, maybe I had been a frog in a well. Never managed to see high level football in such close contact before. But, the way he struck the ball was so amazing. Power and accuracy into one...
I didn't learn a lot about goalkeeping on that day honestly, but I did realise that if you want to be good, any day would do.
And that influenced how I played my football today.
Two shimmies that made the defender stay on his feet. One instep push that got me into space. One through ball between two defenders. Of course, one first time shot with my left foot that ended up as powerful low drive into the net.
As much as I hated to say the following words, but today warrants them.
I am Good.
Of course, I had to learn something abotu goalkeeping because there are no goalkeeping coaches in school.
The instructor was a middle aged man. He put on a collar shirt with a Singapore crest on it. I thought that was the standard practice on all FAS staffs' outfits.
"Good morning gentlemen, I am Bee Seng."
Oh my God! Lee Bee Seng! The national goalkeeping coach! Today's my lucky day!
Though he didn't really go through a lot of content with us, I think I got inspired by what he could do at his age.
I always thought football is for lads in their twenties. Once past 30, I should hang up my boots.
Lee Bee Seng showed us otherwise.
He was good. The way he fed the balls to the young lions keeper was so... Undescribable.
"Foot!"
"Hip!"
"Chest!"
"Head!"
Wherever he said it, the ball got to the exact body part of the keeper. The way he struck the ball was so crisp, so accurate. It's amazing. Not everyone at my age could do that. To be true, age does not play a factor in ball skills.
How he take his shots was even more incredible! Alright, maybe I had been a frog in a well. Never managed to see high level football in such close contact before. But, the way he struck the ball was so amazing. Power and accuracy into one...
I didn't learn a lot about goalkeeping on that day honestly, but I did realise that if you want to be good, any day would do.
And that influenced how I played my football today.
Two shimmies that made the defender stay on his feet. One instep push that got me into space. One through ball between two defenders. Of course, one first time shot with my left foot that ended up as powerful low drive into the net.
As much as I hated to say the following words, but today warrants them.
I am Good.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
希望の灯り
I had trudged through the forums a bit these days, and after reading all those posts, it did got me motivated and discouraged regularly. These are the few facts that I gathered.
Fact 1: Cost of flight training with MFA is RM180,000!
Fact 2: Cost of training with STATA is USD80,000!
It's crazy, really.
Fact 3: There are currently 200 over CPL/IR holders in malaysia who are not employed in the airlines. They are either not interested or not successful with the airlines.
Fact 4: There are a thousand pilots out of job in France.
Fact 5: There will be a shortage of pilots by 2025?
Self-sponsored pilots do not have much chance... Most airlines will only consider ATPL holders with 1500 hours or more. STATA training and all other flight schools will offer at most up to 200 plus hours. Why spend so much time and money just to improve your MSFS skills?
Sigh. This dream is getting more and more unrealistic.
I did an evaluation on myself too, and these are my strengths and weaknesses.
1) I do have good grades, 'O's, 'A's, and uni. Did physics as well.
2) I am not young.
3) I do not know a lot of aircrafts yet.
4) I am working on my attitude in life.
From all of the above, the only way left is just to apply directly to the cadet pilot programme. That seems to be the only way out. The rest are simply not realistic.
No matter what, I can always take up private flying. I believe I still have the savings to pull it off.
Either way, it'll be an experience of a lifetime.
Fact 1: Cost of flight training with MFA is RM180,000!
Fact 2: Cost of training with STATA is USD80,000!
It's crazy, really.
Fact 3: There are currently 200 over CPL/IR holders in malaysia who are not employed in the airlines. They are either not interested or not successful with the airlines.
Fact 4: There are a thousand pilots out of job in France.
Fact 5: There will be a shortage of pilots by 2025?
Self-sponsored pilots do not have much chance... Most airlines will only consider ATPL holders with 1500 hours or more. STATA training and all other flight schools will offer at most up to 200 plus hours. Why spend so much time and money just to improve your MSFS skills?
Sigh. This dream is getting more and more unrealistic.
I did an evaluation on myself too, and these are my strengths and weaknesses.
1) I do have good grades, 'O's, 'A's, and uni. Did physics as well.
2) I am not young.
3) I do not know a lot of aircrafts yet.
4) I am working on my attitude in life.
From all of the above, the only way left is just to apply directly to the cadet pilot programme. That seems to be the only way out. The rest are simply not realistic.
No matter what, I can always take up private flying. I believe I still have the savings to pull it off.
Either way, it'll be an experience of a lifetime.
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Dreams and their Costs
Felt quite demoralised reading this section of an aviation forum:
"Those rejected, please dont be upset. There are other airlines out there that may accept you (If you have ATPL and CPL/IR). Personally I feel if you have the determination, you will find your dream job in the cockpit.
However if you have spare cash and willing to go the alternative route http://www.mfa.edu.my/MFA-2006-April-10-CPLIR-Direct.pdf. But be prepared to spend at least SGD$80K to get the ATPL. Then again as a pilot with in the airline you will earn those money back in no time."
I believe that's the normal cost of an ATPL. Even a PPL costs around $30k. Two steps up the ladder (CPL/IR and ATPL) wouldn't cost less than a PPL.
How to come up with $80k? I might as well rob a bank. And by the time I really save up to $80k, I'lll be too old.
Life's never fair. If only I had a sugar daddy.
Sometimes, I'll just get so demoralised and upset after reading these forums. Not enough money, not enough aptitude, eye sight not enough. Too negative. too much worries on the people participating in these forums.
Sometimes I really felt I'm real naive. But yet again, the line between a naive person and a dreamer is very thin. Dreams are not easily achieved ideals anyway. If they were such easily achieved, they wouldn't be called dreams.
But, are you happy with being comfortable and stable all your life/ Are you happy with not steppoing out of the comfort zone for even once? Are you comfortable with not having seen thwe world and not having experienced something exhilarating before?
Have you ever felt really alive?
I'll take things one step at a time. Right now let's look forward to recreational flying.
May the Lord bless my eyes 5 months later with a class 2 medical!
Short term goal: Weekends up in the skies!
"Those rejected, please dont be upset. There are other airlines out there that may accept you (If you have ATPL and CPL/IR). Personally I feel if you have the determination, you will find your dream job in the cockpit.
However if you have spare cash and willing to go the alternative route http://www.mfa.edu.my/MFA-2006-April-10-CPLIR-Direct.pdf. But be prepared to spend at least SGD$80K to get the ATPL. Then again as a pilot with in the airline you will earn those money back in no time."
I believe that's the normal cost of an ATPL. Even a PPL costs around $30k. Two steps up the ladder (CPL/IR and ATPL) wouldn't cost less than a PPL.
How to come up with $80k? I might as well rob a bank. And by the time I really save up to $80k, I'lll be too old.
Life's never fair. If only I had a sugar daddy.
Sometimes, I'll just get so demoralised and upset after reading these forums. Not enough money, not enough aptitude, eye sight not enough. Too negative. too much worries on the people participating in these forums.
Sometimes I really felt I'm real naive. But yet again, the line between a naive person and a dreamer is very thin. Dreams are not easily achieved ideals anyway. If they were such easily achieved, they wouldn't be called dreams.
But, are you happy with being comfortable and stable all your life/ Are you happy with not steppoing out of the comfort zone for even once? Are you comfortable with not having seen thwe world and not having experienced something exhilarating before?
Have you ever felt really alive?
I'll take things one step at a time. Right now let's look forward to recreational flying.
May the Lord bless my eyes 5 months later with a class 2 medical!
Short term goal: Weekends up in the skies!
Sunday, November 02, 2008
Football again.
Had fun today. It had been a while since I played football. In fact, this was the first time I played football since I did lasik.
Ran my heart out. Glad didn't have any injuries. Got out muscled by some players, but some my footwork is still around.
Need to work on my fitness and strength. I can't take on players yet.
Ran my heart out. Glad didn't have any injuries. Got out muscled by some players, but some my footwork is still around.
Need to work on my fitness and strength. I can't take on players yet.
Friday, October 31, 2008
A Great Way to Live
I had a few weird dreams lately, all targeted at the core issues of my life. I had been saying a few dejected prayers before sleep these days, and I guess the dreams are His answers to my queries.
One way to tell His answer from your own answer. If the answer in your mind gives you a sense of peace, then the answer is truly a gift from the heavens.
I woke up with some feel of that!
In that dream of mine, I had a confrontation with my boss. (Of all situations to be in.) I was being reprimanded for being performing poorly in my work. There was a lot of tension, and somehow the situation escalated into a quarrel. At the end my boss challenged me to leave, along the lines of "you are free to quit and chase your flying dream!"
Wonder how he knew that. I haven't really told him before... Nevermind. It is just a hypothetical scenario anyway.
Of course I took up the challenge. I quit my job and did my PPL full time without income. It was cool for the first few months, but as the months went by, my savings got depleted.
And finding a job was tough. The ministry wouldn't reinstate me back to a JC. Independent IP schools won't take me into their JC cohort because I have no JC experience. To make it worse, my certifications from my ground examinations expired due to the six month validity period. Everything was just hanging there. Not here and not there in all aspects.
Give PPL up would mean all the money invested will be wasted. Don't give up, and find a way to maintain the course was driving me nuts. There was just a lot of regret and desperation. Even the temp job that I found paid too little to cover anything. Thousand plus a month. Not even enough to make ends meet, how to finish the course?
I was just down and out.
Woke up from that scenario with cold sweat. After a while I went back to sleep again. Fortunately didn't have to go to school on Thursday, that why I could afford to sleep and dream again.
This dream was so much better!
I got selected by SIA as a cadet pilot! And I proved my mettle and worked my way up. From second officer to first officer to finally captain. I became a captain for the A380s, flying from Singapore to Sydney frequently.
It was great. I had a comfortable income, bought a house, saw the world, immense satisfaction of flying a commercial jet, what else? It's the perfect job, the perfect life.
But subsequently over the years, there was lesser and lesser warmth when I returned home. Parents became strangers. My brother moved out and didn't leave any contact behind. My sister got married and had her own family.
And I wasn't around when my parents finally left.
Whenever I returned home, all I had was a big empty house to myself. And whichever part of the world I went to, I'll see people happy with their friends or loved ones, white people, black people, whatever, of all skin colours. I wasn't part of it. I didn't know them. I was a stranger to them, and they were strangers to me.
Even the pilots working with me were not constant. The pilots were rotated frequently. I'll see a new face every now and then in the cockpit. Everyone was trained to follow a company SOP. Pilots are trained to be team players, but they do not stay in the same team...
It was then, that I realised I wanted to stay around. I wanted a job that allowed me to see the same people everyday. I want to see my parents and brother everyday. I want to see my colleagues everyday. I want to see my students everyday.
Sounds like a scene from "Click" the movie.
It was already 9 in the morning when I woke up from both dreams. It was a rainy morning. Cool and refreshing. I thought about those dreams for a while. I seldom remember dreams after I'm awake, but these two were as vivid as life itself.
Lots of thoughts were coursing through my mind then. It was a difficult morning. Finally one thought gave me peace. I believe it was what He was trying to tell me.
1) Love your job.
2) Love the people you get to see everyday.
3) Love the present.
4) Love flying. Use it as a means to lift the spirits of people around me.
Point 4 got me confused stuck for a while, but now I know what He meant.
Flying does not mean a change of job. I do not have to join an airlines to be happy. Just some experience of getting up in the sky would be enough! A PPL would suffice! In fact, a PPL is better because your passengers are in the same cockpit as you, not like a commercial jet.
I... finally found my sense of direction in life... After such a long time.
To help people by lifting them up. To use flying to achieve that aim. To fulfill His aim of saving souls. Everything fits. Everything's in line.
Now just need to put everything in place!
Bless me with a SPL in 5 month's time.
One way to tell His answer from your own answer. If the answer in your mind gives you a sense of peace, then the answer is truly a gift from the heavens.
I woke up with some feel of that!
In that dream of mine, I had a confrontation with my boss. (Of all situations to be in.) I was being reprimanded for being performing poorly in my work. There was a lot of tension, and somehow the situation escalated into a quarrel. At the end my boss challenged me to leave, along the lines of "you are free to quit and chase your flying dream!"
Wonder how he knew that. I haven't really told him before... Nevermind. It is just a hypothetical scenario anyway.
Of course I took up the challenge. I quit my job and did my PPL full time without income. It was cool for the first few months, but as the months went by, my savings got depleted.
And finding a job was tough. The ministry wouldn't reinstate me back to a JC. Independent IP schools won't take me into their JC cohort because I have no JC experience. To make it worse, my certifications from my ground examinations expired due to the six month validity period. Everything was just hanging there. Not here and not there in all aspects.
Give PPL up would mean all the money invested will be wasted. Don't give up, and find a way to maintain the course was driving me nuts. There was just a lot of regret and desperation. Even the temp job that I found paid too little to cover anything. Thousand plus a month. Not even enough to make ends meet, how to finish the course?
I was just down and out.
Woke up from that scenario with cold sweat. After a while I went back to sleep again. Fortunately didn't have to go to school on Thursday, that why I could afford to sleep and dream again.
This dream was so much better!
I got selected by SIA as a cadet pilot! And I proved my mettle and worked my way up. From second officer to first officer to finally captain. I became a captain for the A380s, flying from Singapore to Sydney frequently.
It was great. I had a comfortable income, bought a house, saw the world, immense satisfaction of flying a commercial jet, what else? It's the perfect job, the perfect life.
But subsequently over the years, there was lesser and lesser warmth when I returned home. Parents became strangers. My brother moved out and didn't leave any contact behind. My sister got married and had her own family.
And I wasn't around when my parents finally left.
Whenever I returned home, all I had was a big empty house to myself. And whichever part of the world I went to, I'll see people happy with their friends or loved ones, white people, black people, whatever, of all skin colours. I wasn't part of it. I didn't know them. I was a stranger to them, and they were strangers to me.
Even the pilots working with me were not constant. The pilots were rotated frequently. I'll see a new face every now and then in the cockpit. Everyone was trained to follow a company SOP. Pilots are trained to be team players, but they do not stay in the same team...
It was then, that I realised I wanted to stay around. I wanted a job that allowed me to see the same people everyday. I want to see my parents and brother everyday. I want to see my colleagues everyday. I want to see my students everyday.
Sounds like a scene from "Click" the movie.
It was already 9 in the morning when I woke up from both dreams. It was a rainy morning. Cool and refreshing. I thought about those dreams for a while. I seldom remember dreams after I'm awake, but these two were as vivid as life itself.
Lots of thoughts were coursing through my mind then. It was a difficult morning. Finally one thought gave me peace. I believe it was what He was trying to tell me.
1) Love your job.
2) Love the people you get to see everyday.
3) Love the present.
4) Love flying. Use it as a means to lift the spirits of people around me.
Point 4 got me confused stuck for a while, but now I know what He meant.
Flying does not mean a change of job. I do not have to join an airlines to be happy. Just some experience of getting up in the sky would be enough! A PPL would suffice! In fact, a PPL is better because your passengers are in the same cockpit as you, not like a commercial jet.
I... finally found my sense of direction in life... After such a long time.
To help people by lifting them up. To use flying to achieve that aim. To fulfill His aim of saving souls. Everything fits. Everything's in line.
Now just need to put everything in place!
Bless me with a SPL in 5 month's time.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Different Aspects of Life
Work = Sense of purpose?
Football = Feel yourself?
Guitar = Useless.
Home = Negative.
Void. There's a big void.
You can't blame others for the negative things that happened in your life. But, the environment that you grew up in played a huge part in your life views.
Need to pick up and fight once again.
There was once I lost that fighting spirit, because I was satisfied with my comfortable life.
It's time to start all over again.
Fought enough in school. (Physically and academically). Had enough of gladiating and studying.
Fought enough in football. Body can't last forever at that level. Football can't last forever.
Now it's time to fight for my dreams. To breathe the rarefied air.
Away from the negative people. Away from my negative self. Away from the down-to-earth people who are bogged down my reality. Away the people who knows better than being naive. Away from those who are concerned about promotions.
There will only be me, and my bro, who I promised I will take him up there with me.
To give him the motivation that had been lacking in all his life. Evidence that if one persevered, he will achieve his dreams.
So let's just go up. I'll take you there.
We will tear the skies.
Football = Feel yourself?
Guitar = Useless.
Home = Negative.
Void. There's a big void.
You can't blame others for the negative things that happened in your life. But, the environment that you grew up in played a huge part in your life views.
Need to pick up and fight once again.
There was once I lost that fighting spirit, because I was satisfied with my comfortable life.
It's time to start all over again.
Fought enough in school. (Physically and academically). Had enough of gladiating and studying.
Fought enough in football. Body can't last forever at that level. Football can't last forever.
Now it's time to fight for my dreams. To breathe the rarefied air.
Away from the negative people. Away from my negative self. Away from the down-to-earth people who are bogged down my reality. Away the people who knows better than being naive. Away from those who are concerned about promotions.
There will only be me, and my bro, who I promised I will take him up there with me.
To give him the motivation that had been lacking in all his life. Evidence that if one persevered, he will achieve his dreams.
So let's just go up. I'll take you there.
We will tear the skies.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Set Back!
Arrived the medical centre today feeling lifted.
Before even everything started, I was informed that I needed to wait for 6 months for the eyesight to stabilise before I could proceed any further.
And I even had to bring along my pre-op records and do a recent check on my eyes for certification purposes.
I used to think they would be the ones doing the checks on the eye, and not an external doctor.
But I'm glad that I am "forced" to wait for half a year before any further actions could be taken. At least now I can focus a bit on my post grad math, and save up some money.
Most importantly, I have time to decide whether I really want to spend so much money and time pursuing an interest.
I think these 6 months would be a good gauge of my interest, whether it is a short-lived or sustained one. Money is not a problem if I could convince myself that the interest is sustained.
So let's just wait and see.
Before even everything started, I was informed that I needed to wait for 6 months for the eyesight to stabilise before I could proceed any further.
And I even had to bring along my pre-op records and do a recent check on my eyes for certification purposes.
I used to think they would be the ones doing the checks on the eye, and not an external doctor.
But I'm glad that I am "forced" to wait for half a year before any further actions could be taken. At least now I can focus a bit on my post grad math, and save up some money.
Most importantly, I have time to decide whether I really want to spend so much money and time pursuing an interest.
I think these 6 months would be a good gauge of my interest, whether it is a short-lived or sustained one. Money is not a problem if I could convince myself that the interest is sustained.
So let's just wait and see.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Steps
A lot of times I felt that the pursuit of DTF is a naive, impractical, costly, and most important of all, it does not benefit anyone.
No beneficial value to people. Then why embark on it?
I wonder too. Perhaps, the way it such a pursuit could benefit people would not be about the actualy flying itself, but the journey towards it.
Hopefully after reading my experiences here, you might be able to pick up some learning points. You may feel inspired, amused, or disgusted. But it's just a man's pursuit of his dream, and the sacrifices that he has made.
Hopefully you will be motivated and inspired enough to pursue your dreams too! I had promised a few flights already.
Steps completed so far:
#1 LASIK
#2 Booking of a medical with ST Medical. (Much easier than I thought!)
Hopefully I would have time to elaborately note down the details of each of the steps, cos I felt that they are valuable experiences in their own right.
I wouldn't know howh long I can continue down this path, but I'll be here as long as it goes.
No beneficial value to people. Then why embark on it?
I wonder too. Perhaps, the way it such a pursuit could benefit people would not be about the actualy flying itself, but the journey towards it.
Hopefully after reading my experiences here, you might be able to pick up some learning points. You may feel inspired, amused, or disgusted. But it's just a man's pursuit of his dream, and the sacrifices that he has made.
Hopefully you will be motivated and inspired enough to pursue your dreams too! I had promised a few flights already.
Steps completed so far:
#1 LASIK
#2 Booking of a medical with ST Medical. (Much easier than I thought!)
Hopefully I would have time to elaborately note down the details of each of the steps, cos I felt that they are valuable experiences in their own right.
I wouldn't know howh long I can continue down this path, but I'll be here as long as it goes.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Alright, let's go.
I'm been quite ashamed of myself recently. I think I got obsessed with DTF until I neglected what I am doing now.
I am ashamed of my negative attitude.
From today onwards, none of that will surface again.
I'm going to do well in everything that I am involved in.
Everything is a challenge.
That includes DTF. It is here to stay.
Never give up the things you really want. You never know how life may go.
We can do it!
I am ashamed of my negative attitude.
From today onwards, none of that will surface again.
I'm going to do well in everything that I am involved in.
Everything is a challenge.
That includes DTF. It is here to stay.
Never give up the things you really want. You never know how life may go.
We can do it!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Conflict of Interests
Recently I was really lifted.
I talked to the Lord again, and I felt so much calmer and at peace.
I had decided to follow his will as well.
And thus, I had a perfectly coincidental event that happened to me, and I believed that was His will.
Mr Ho contacted me after so many years. I received his MSN message while my WMP was playing "Everything" by Misia, and he encouraged me to take up the challenge again to do mathematics.
That I believed, was His intentions for me.
Yet, when I saw the sight of the plane in the sky today, I knew what I want in life.
So which way should I follow?
Can I be greedy and ask for both? Get a Masters in Mathematics and a PPL too? I think as long as it's not commercial flying, private flying is extremely possible as long as I pass the medical.
Masters in Mathematics is definitely within my ability.
I know the answer now. Thank you for your guidance.
Amen!
I talked to the Lord again, and I felt so much calmer and at peace.
I had decided to follow his will as well.
And thus, I had a perfectly coincidental event that happened to me, and I believed that was His will.
Mr Ho contacted me after so many years. I received his MSN message while my WMP was playing "Everything" by Misia, and he encouraged me to take up the challenge again to do mathematics.
That I believed, was His intentions for me.
Yet, when I saw the sight of the plane in the sky today, I knew what I want in life.
So which way should I follow?
Can I be greedy and ask for both? Get a Masters in Mathematics and a PPL too? I think as long as it's not commercial flying, private flying is extremely possible as long as I pass the medical.
Masters in Mathematics is definitely within my ability.
I know the answer now. Thank you for your guidance.
Amen!
45 degree bank
Today I saw a single engine aircraft while I was driving along CTE towards SLE.
IT was a magnificent while bird, glistering in the morning sun.
It was landing after a left turn.
The sight of it banking 45 degrees to the left, then bring both wings to level and decending, just felt so majestic.
From then on, I knew no matter how much it costs, how tiring it may be, how many sacrifices I have to make...
I have to get my Private Pilot's Licence!
IT was a magnificent while bird, glistering in the morning sun.
It was landing after a left turn.
The sight of it banking 45 degrees to the left, then bring both wings to level and decending, just felt so majestic.
From then on, I knew no matter how much it costs, how tiring it may be, how many sacrifices I have to make...
I have to get my Private Pilot's Licence!
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Last game for 2008
Today's the last football game for 2008. Will be going to fix it up soon, so can't play for 3 months.
Just felt a bit sad, and ashamed of how I played. Lost the ball in stupid positions. Made some rash decisions. Sigh. Am I being too negative again? Or do I have high expectations of myself? Or do I think too highly of myself again?
I'm never going to wear that jersey to play again. It's too stressful.
I think I'm going to miss football, which I never felt this way while I was able to play.
You'll only miss something once you lose it. How true it is.
Just felt a bit sad, and ashamed of how I played. Lost the ball in stupid positions. Made some rash decisions. Sigh. Am I being too negative again? Or do I have high expectations of myself? Or do I think too highly of myself again?
I'm never going to wear that jersey to play again. It's too stressful.
I think I'm going to miss football, which I never felt this way while I was able to play.
You'll only miss something once you lose it. How true it is.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Anger Management
Need to find an outlet.
This hasn't been a good year.
Lots of anger and anguish.
Need to evolve and become a better person.
In all aspects.
First step:
Reignite the engine within me.
This hasn't been a good year.
Lots of anger and anguish.
Need to evolve and become a better person.
In all aspects.
First step:
Reignite the engine within me.
Monday, September 29, 2008
陈洁仪 <<再爱一回>>
Seldom drive these days, and if I don't drive, I'll never listen to the radio.
Heard a song over 88.3 today, in the car. It's a very nice song. A classic by Kit Chan. Instantly transported back to the lovely days of the 90s! I don't know, but I fell in love with this song then when I heard the line "就让我演出我要的情节”。It's just a very nice song!
再爱一回
词许常德
曲许环良
从未想过让爱落幕
尽管看的泪眼模糊
谁来主演我不在乎
只要能被你保护
吻我吧
别说话
灯关上
让黑夜继续漫长
就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓
风很傻
空的抓
抱我吧
我不想清楚对话
就让我再爱一回
你何苦告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓
就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就算我到最后会流泪
忘不了抛不掉都是煎熬
都是你给的拥抱
Heard a song over 88.3 today, in the car. It's a very nice song. A classic by Kit Chan. Instantly transported back to the lovely days of the 90s! I don't know, but I fell in love with this song then when I heard the line "就让我演出我要的情节”。It's just a very nice song!
再爱一回
词许常德
曲许环良
从未想过让爱落幕
尽管看的泪眼模糊
谁来主演我不在乎
只要能被你保护
吻我吧
别说话
灯关上
让黑夜继续漫长
就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓
风很傻
空的抓
抱我吧
我不想清楚对话
就让我再爱一回
你何苦告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就让我演出我要的情节
说说谎编编戏给我安慰
对你有什么所谓
就让我再爱一回
你何苦要告诉我她是谁
心再痛痛再深无所谓
像从前爱我我就能不顾一切
就让我再爱一回
就算我到最后会流泪
忘不了抛不掉都是煎熬
都是你给的拥抱
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Lost and Found
I left my jersey today at the venue of the morning game.
Thought I had lost it for good. Quite liked that jersey because it brings back good memories.
Went back to the place before the evening game to check it out.
Couldn't find it on the ground nor at the toilet.
Thought I had lost it.
Returned to the car.
But decided to give it one last try.
Out of the car and searched around the gate.
Found a plastic bag.
And my jersey is inside!
I'm lucky today.
I had gained and lost many things in life.
And today I was fortunate to be able to recover something that I thought I had already lost.
And also some kind soul do exist in this world, who didn't the jersey for his own.
Thank God, for returning me my beloved jersey.
Thought I had lost it for good. Quite liked that jersey because it brings back good memories.
Went back to the place before the evening game to check it out.
Couldn't find it on the ground nor at the toilet.
Thought I had lost it.
Returned to the car.
But decided to give it one last try.
Out of the car and searched around the gate.
Found a plastic bag.
And my jersey is inside!
I'm lucky today.
I had gained and lost many things in life.
And today I was fortunate to be able to recover something that I thought I had already lost.
And also some kind soul do exist in this world, who didn't the jersey for his own.
Thank God, for returning me my beloved jersey.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It's True
把上昇星座重新算一遍
能不能理解自己的改变
租几部喜剧电影学经验
找一个调和情绪的观点
面对这个大世界
老师没有教 而我还在学
好朋友喜帖红的好鲜艳
隐约催促我该找个人陪
相爱到分手循环的情节
双人床不如一张瑜珈垫
活在这个大世界
用什麽方式 呼吸最特别
It's True 我会更乐观一点
It's True 我的幸福很亮眼
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
二十四个小时 都还不够我实现
每个心愿
把上昇星座重新算一遍
能不能理解自己的改变
租几部喜剧电影学经验
找一个调和情绪的观点
面对这个大世界
老师没有教 而我还在学
It's True 我会更乐观一点
It's True 我的幸福很亮眼
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
二十四个小时 都还不够我实现
每个心愿
It's True 我会更争气一点
It's True 珍惜身边的一切
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
三百六十五天 都还不够我理解
这个世界
能不能理解自己的改变
租几部喜剧电影学经验
找一个调和情绪的观点
面对这个大世界
老师没有教 而我还在学
好朋友喜帖红的好鲜艳
隐约催促我该找个人陪
相爱到分手循环的情节
双人床不如一张瑜珈垫
活在这个大世界
用什麽方式 呼吸最特别
It's True 我会更乐观一点
It's True 我的幸福很亮眼
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
二十四个小时 都还不够我实现
每个心愿
把上昇星座重新算一遍
能不能理解自己的改变
租几部喜剧电影学经验
找一个调和情绪的观点
面对这个大世界
老师没有教 而我还在学
It's True 我会更乐观一点
It's True 我的幸福很亮眼
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
二十四个小时 都还不够我实现
每个心愿
It's True 我会更争气一点
It's True 珍惜身边的一切
It's True 还不急着对谁说 I do
三百六十五天 都还不够我理解
这个世界
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Happy!
Played two games.
Morning and evening
2-2 and 3-3.
Could be better, but heck it.
At least I enjoyed myself without injuries!
Morning and evening
2-2 and 3-3.
Could be better, but heck it.
At least I enjoyed myself without injuries!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Blur King
Flying shall remain only as a dream, and no longer a target/goal. I am so happy to be in teaching now, after hearing about the Lehman Brothers incident and the ever increasing oil prices.
Consequences = Instability in financial sector, and airlines are cutting costs, i.e. recruiting less pilots, training less pilots, less pilot jobs, etc.
I realised that I am so naive to even think of flying. People actually laughed at my thoughts of wanting to be a pilot! (Either explicitly or implicitly).
I lacked research.
I lacked the positive attitude.
I lacked confidence.
I am too negative.
I do not read widely enough.
But, give me a chance to try and change something about myself. I still have 2 years.
Ultimate dream: Singapore International Airlines.
Consequences = Instability in financial sector, and airlines are cutting costs, i.e. recruiting less pilots, training less pilots, less pilot jobs, etc.
I realised that I am so naive to even think of flying. People actually laughed at my thoughts of wanting to be a pilot! (Either explicitly or implicitly).
I lacked research.
I lacked the positive attitude.
I lacked confidence.
I am too negative.
I do not read widely enough.
But, give me a chance to try and change something about myself. I still have 2 years.
Ultimate dream: Singapore International Airlines.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
A Window of Possibilities.
It's not everything.
Got snubbed, and that hurts.
Do not wished to be ridiculed by others, esp young boy(s).
There are other possibilities.
To get away.
Not just DTF.
Maybe DTM.
Or even DTD.
Whatever. Just don't close my options to everything else.
Got snubbed, and that hurts.
Do not wished to be ridiculed by others, esp young boy(s).
There are other possibilities.
To get away.
Not just DTF.
Maybe DTM.
Or even DTD.
Whatever. Just don't close my options to everything else.
Monday, August 04, 2008
My Boyhood Crush on Kaira Gong
It was in 1999. I saw yet again, the b ball girl bounced into the school canteen for a drink.
She's always bubbling around, energetic, a smile so demure and shy that will melt any guy's heart. Haha ok I'm exaggerating. But it's not common to find a serious sports person who has such a smile. And that was what made me notice her whenever she crossed my sight in school.
Nah she wasn't the prettiest of the girls in school then. There were tonnes of other pretty girls around. We had new face of the year, we had a school "flower" by the name of Rui-En, we had Mel Chng too. To make things worse, her complexion then was not very nice. heh. Her face was not very smooth then, had pimples. And she was always playing sidekick to another b ball girl from her sec school. (Cannot say her name. All I could say she was from S03A.) Her friend was much prettier, or maybe she made her friend look better. I think I'm too harsh here.
But I just noticed her more than her better looking friend. Not for her beauty, not for her figure, (ok lah, her figure was good too. B ball player couldn't be that bad right... I better stop if not you will think I'm a lecher. Alright, I admit! I'm one. heh. I'm already a lecher at age 18!),
Using an old cliche, I got attracted to her of her smile! It's corny I know, but as with all things that make boys stir, a smile of a girl works wonders on a boy. To top it all up and make things worse,
I didn't know her name.
So I just got by and remembered her as "LS's sidekick".
I never picked up enough courage to approach her. Anyway I was too much of a mugger then to be bothered too much by such things.
Years went by. After army, after NUS, after army again, after NIE, after one year of working, LS's sidekick disappeared from my memory totally. I was preoccupied with other people and work.
Then I stumbled upon some archived national day songs recently, and kinda liked the song "My Island Home", cos I think that will be the song I will most probably listen to very frequently in the future.
Then I began researching on the singer for fun. It was odd. I didn't pay attention to her 2 years ago when she was singing the song on NDP, though I watched the parade on TV.
Maybe I wasn't so meticulous then.
But from the research that I had done recently, I discovered that she is the same age as me, so there was a high chance that she was from my batch in school.
I quickly dug out the dusty year book and scoured the pages for her photo. Yup! 2AO3B! I saw her face, the same old face that was in my memory. LS's sidekick. heh.
Compared to then, she is much feminine and prettier now! Complexion has improved! heh. Lecher self reactivated.
I must admit I am a true blue stalker.
But after all these years. There is just anguish left in me.
Why didn't I try to talk to her then?
Why didn't I try to ask LS for her contact, or to intro us?
But anyway, it has been so many years. If I hadn't had the chance to know her then, it's rather hard to know her now too, given her status.
Right now I'm just glad to be able to admire her from far,
the shy and demure LS's sidekick then,
is the confident and glamourous Kaira Gong of today.
P.S. Looking at her now is really an inspiration. I believed she didn't plan to be in showbiz all along. Just that opportunities came knocking and she got into showbiz.
Putting things into my perspective, it is heartening to know that someone amongst us, a peer, is still chasing or has already fulfilled her dreams.
Why can't I do so then?
She's always bubbling around, energetic, a smile so demure and shy that will melt any guy's heart. Haha ok I'm exaggerating. But it's not common to find a serious sports person who has such a smile. And that was what made me notice her whenever she crossed my sight in school.
Nah she wasn't the prettiest of the girls in school then. There were tonnes of other pretty girls around. We had new face of the year, we had a school "flower" by the name of Rui-En, we had Mel Chng too. To make things worse, her complexion then was not very nice. heh. Her face was not very smooth then, had pimples. And she was always playing sidekick to another b ball girl from her sec school. (Cannot say her name. All I could say she was from S03A.) Her friend was much prettier, or maybe she made her friend look better. I think I'm too harsh here.
But I just noticed her more than her better looking friend. Not for her beauty, not for her figure, (ok lah, her figure was good too. B ball player couldn't be that bad right... I better stop if not you will think I'm a lecher. Alright, I admit! I'm one. heh. I'm already a lecher at age 18!),
Using an old cliche, I got attracted to her of her smile! It's corny I know, but as with all things that make boys stir, a smile of a girl works wonders on a boy. To top it all up and make things worse,
I didn't know her name.
So I just got by and remembered her as "LS's sidekick".
I never picked up enough courage to approach her. Anyway I was too much of a mugger then to be bothered too much by such things.
Years went by. After army, after NUS, after army again, after NIE, after one year of working, LS's sidekick disappeared from my memory totally. I was preoccupied with other people and work.
Then I stumbled upon some archived national day songs recently, and kinda liked the song "My Island Home", cos I think that will be the song I will most probably listen to very frequently in the future.
Then I began researching on the singer for fun. It was odd. I didn't pay attention to her 2 years ago when she was singing the song on NDP, though I watched the parade on TV.
Maybe I wasn't so meticulous then.
But from the research that I had done recently, I discovered that she is the same age as me, so there was a high chance that she was from my batch in school.
I quickly dug out the dusty year book and scoured the pages for her photo. Yup! 2AO3B! I saw her face, the same old face that was in my memory. LS's sidekick. heh.
Compared to then, she is much feminine and prettier now! Complexion has improved! heh. Lecher self reactivated.
I must admit I am a true blue stalker.
But after all these years. There is just anguish left in me.
Why didn't I try to talk to her then?
Why didn't I try to ask LS for her contact, or to intro us?
But anyway, it has been so many years. If I hadn't had the chance to know her then, it's rather hard to know her now too, given her status.
Right now I'm just glad to be able to admire her from far,
the shy and demure LS's sidekick then,
is the confident and glamourous Kaira Gong of today.
P.S. Looking at her now is really an inspiration. I believed she didn't plan to be in showbiz all along. Just that opportunities came knocking and she got into showbiz.
Putting things into my perspective, it is heartening to know that someone amongst us, a peer, is still chasing or has already fulfilled her dreams.
Why can't I do so then?
Monday, July 14, 2008
Bright Lights Big City
I always had a dream.
To be away from the Bright Lights and Big Cities.
To somewhere serene and tranquil.
Where all stands above me is the sky,
and all lies before me is the sea.
I do not just want to be there,
but to live there for the rest of my life.
Say goodbye...
Memories...
Good times...
Hard times...
We remain...
remain in my heart...
Say goodbye...
Memories...
You are my best friend...
To be away from the Bright Lights and Big Cities.
To somewhere serene and tranquil.
Where all stands above me is the sky,
and all lies before me is the sea.
I do not just want to be there,
but to live there for the rest of my life.
Say goodbye...
Memories...
Good times...
Hard times...
We remain...
remain in my heart...
Say goodbye...
Memories...
You are my best friend...
Sunday, July 06, 2008
What a Week
Got snubbed by my manager.
Got ridiculed.
Experienced insults for the same reasons all over again.
And now, being failed by it because I failed to take care of it.
Life's fair. It goes in full cycles.
Time to embark on something else.
Sorry, but I just needed to bitch.
Got ridiculed.
Experienced insults for the same reasons all over again.
And now, being failed by it because I failed to take care of it.
Life's fair. It goes in full cycles.
Time to embark on something else.
Sorry, but I just needed to bitch.
Will You?
I always thought Jimmy Ye is talented, from the days when he was strutting his self-composed songs on the local mandarin pop scene.
He is good with catchy tunes, as epitomised by 《我总是听你说》。
And now after so many years, "Will You" for NDP. Feel so revitalised listening to this song! Feel a sense of national pride. Talented people still hang around the island I suppose!
Will you make this island
Amazing in all ways?
Surprises every corner,
Delightful nights and days.
Will you take this country
And turn it from a place
To a home to greets you
With smiles on every face?
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So...
Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...
Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Will you take this city
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So...
Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...
Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Dare to find...
New ways!
Will I let my dreams take flight?
Never a doubt. I will fly!
He is good with catchy tunes, as epitomised by 《我总是听你说》。
And now after so many years, "Will You" for NDP. Feel so revitalised listening to this song! Feel a sense of national pride. Talented people still hang around the island I suppose!
Will you make this island
Amazing in all ways?
Surprises every corner,
Delightful nights and days.
Will you take this country
And turn it from a place
To a home to greets you
With smiles on every face?
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So...
Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...
Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Will you take this city
And turn it from a place
To a home that greets you
With smiles on every face
Will you come on this brave journey?
Will you help to make it real?
Will you write us grand new stories,
Songs that everyone will feel?
So...
Will you swim the current?
Will you scale new heights?
Will you make it happen,
Will you let your dreams take flight?
And...
Will you make the difference?
Will you seize the day?
Will you live each moment,
Will you dare to find new ways?
Dare to find...
New ways!
Will I let my dreams take flight?
Never a doubt. I will fly!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Shall we go?
The man who sang this famous song is coming again...
请你说 我们为何变成陌路人的模样
请你说 还有什么比沉默更难堪
难道互相隐藏
就能避免了失望
表白有什么可怕
请你别怕为难不要拐弯
请你说 请你说出心里难以承受的伤
不能说 除非我们早已忘记了爱的力量
聊天只能假装 表情需要勉强
何必把这种遗撼
带到未来的天堂
I will be there!
请你说 我们为何变成陌路人的模样
请你说 还有什么比沉默更难堪
难道互相隐藏
就能避免了失望
表白有什么可怕
请你别怕为难不要拐弯
请你说 请你说出心里难以承受的伤
不能说 除非我们早已忘记了爱的力量
聊天只能假装 表情需要勉强
何必把这种遗撼
带到未来的天堂
I will be there!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Police
Today I saw another team play good football. The type of football that I always aspired to play, and never able to find a team capable of doing that. (Not that I am that zai a player).
But honestly, apart from catching thieves, the Policemen do play some decent football.
To be true, the better a player you become, the less you hold the ball.
Everything is about running, receiving, passing, and running again. Of course need to think about where to run, how to receive, and who to pass.
Some last minute change of direction will make the process a lot smoother.
I think I have a lot of work to do to play at that level. Sprinting, first touches, and passing.
No wonder so many ah peks stopped by and watched them play today.
But honestly, apart from catching thieves, the Policemen do play some decent football.
To be true, the better a player you become, the less you hold the ball.
Everything is about running, receiving, passing, and running again. Of course need to think about where to run, how to receive, and who to pass.
Some last minute change of direction will make the process a lot smoother.
I think I have a lot of work to do to play at that level. Sprinting, first touches, and passing.
No wonder so many ah peks stopped by and watched them play today.
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Rest
Too confident of myself.
My mind thought I was 17. But my legs said I am 27. What happens when there is a miss comm?
Cramp.
Not difficult to understand why.
Thu: Walk from Bukit Panjang to Mandai for 4 hours with a signal set.
Fri: Rest.
Sat: Played a rare full game for MOE. Left back. Up and down my half. Even made a ambitious run down all the way from box to box down my flank after beating both their right wing and right back. Totally shag.
Sun: Played sweeper, but finally cannot take it.
Mon: Miss SGSFL Div 1.
My current type of fitness regime is only good for a sweeper. I should modify it to prepare to myself as a full back.
I should have known. I deserve the cramps.
I also know it's time to rest.
My mind thought I was 17. But my legs said I am 27. What happens when there is a miss comm?
Cramp.
Not difficult to understand why.
Thu: Walk from Bukit Panjang to Mandai for 4 hours with a signal set.
Fri: Rest.
Sat: Played a rare full game for MOE. Left back. Up and down my half. Even made a ambitious run down all the way from box to box down my flank after beating both their right wing and right back. Totally shag.
Sun: Played sweeper, but finally cannot take it.
Mon: Miss SGSFL Div 1.
My current type of fitness regime is only good for a sweeper. I should modify it to prepare to myself as a full back.
I should have known. I deserve the cramps.
I also know it's time to rest.
ICT 2008
This will be the last post for a while from now, when the full routine starts again tomorrow.
ICT was not bad. Relaxed mind for 2 weeks.
Staff William was as crappy and putting down as ever, but yet zai.
Met Philip who shared my age and outlook in life.
I didn't waste my time there as expected.
And, the only way to stay happy, is to be satisfied with what you have!
ICT was not bad. Relaxed mind for 2 weeks.
Staff William was as crappy and putting down as ever, but yet zai.
Met Philip who shared my age and outlook in life.
I didn't waste my time there as expected.
And, the only way to stay happy, is to be satisfied with what you have!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
快乐
都27岁的人了，终于明白一个捉摸很久的问题。
什么是快乐？什么让人快乐？
1）跟群？随便找个适当的人安家立业？
2）得过且过？有钱赚就好，工作水平敷衍了事？
3）执著兴趣？踢球踢到脚断？
全部都错。
人因为觉得自己活着，所以才会快乐。
而人为什么会觉得活着，因为他有梦想牵着翅膀飞着！
什么是快乐？什么让人快乐？
1）跟群？随便找个适当的人安家立业？
2）得过且过？有钱赚就好，工作水平敷衍了事？
3）执著兴趣？踢球踢到脚断？
全部都错。
人因为觉得自己活着，所以才会快乐。
而人为什么会觉得活着，因为他有梦想牵着翅膀飞着！
Saturday, May 31, 2008
我不想做老师，我想做老千
Bloody shit. After watching these youtube videos I really don't think a teacher has any future.
A 老千 has more future.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgDTNC010fo&NR=1
A 老千 has more future.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgDTNC010fo&NR=1
A Mystery Revealed...
A lot of people have told me that when I smile, it is rather disturbing. One girl even told me that she felt "violated" when I am piercing her eyes with my "trademark" smile.
Then where on earth did I learn how to smile like that???
The answer is very simple.
From him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2puaI9V8Osc
Then where on earth did I learn how to smile like that???
The answer is very simple.
From him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2puaI9V8Osc
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Emphatic!
I think it's pretty obvious by now - that I don't post entries that often, unless something significant had happened.
Today was no different from other matches. My team won a corner at the very last moment of the game. Most likely the final whistle will sound after the corner. We were losing 1-2, and Bollocks asked me whether I wanted to go up for it. Usually I would be contented not to go up, espcially when my team was winning.
But I had to go up for this one, because I felt responsible for conceding a goal less than 5 minutes ago. I had to redeem myself, and so I ran the customary 20m to the edge of the penalty box.
As I approached the box, Ken saw me and volunteered to stay back. I should have told him not to, because that was most likely the last corner of the game. Should have stayed to pack more bodies in the box.
Somehow I knew that the corner will come to me. CK and John have the tendency to aim their corners at me whenever I go up because I seldom attack corners.
And so, I occupied Ken's position at the edge of the box, and waited for the corner to come.
The whistle came, and John took a very sharp and direct corner. I was too eager and took one early step. By the time I reached the ball I no longer could use my forehead to make contact. But I compromised on the spot and used the side of my head instead. The contact was decent and the ball firmly aimed towards the near post. Everyone was shocked that i made such a good connection. The spontaneous "wow" betrayed their throughts. unfortunately it did not go in, but it bounced off a defender for another corner.
This time I was paid more attention. The opponent team assigned a marker to me. I had to beat him. And so I took cover just behind CK, so that the marker had no physical proximity to me.
I gave him the indifferent expression on my face, as if I was hinting to him that "I give up. Your marking has totally subdued me. You have control of the situation."
When the whistle went I took one step to CK's left, and the marker followed in the same direction. Immediately I shimmied to the right, and the poor fella was half a pace behind me. In corners, half a pace behind is considered beaten already, due to the lack of space for recovery.
As my poor marker was left biting my dust, I just kept looking at the ball and ran towards it, all the while hoping that it would be the same sharp delivery like the previous corner. Usually by this time I would know whether there was anymore motivation left in running for the ball, because the trajectory of the ball would be obvious by now. No point running forward if the ball was not coming to your attacking radius.
John did not disappoint. The ball was even better delivered than the previous corner. I realised that I had at least 0.5m radius of space around me when I approached the penalty spot, and the ball would be in front of me within a second.
From that moment I knew nothing else mattered, and no one else existed in the box. It was me and the ball alone. One firm header was all that was needed.
So many times I had practiced my headers at the RH hardcourt and at home. Just aiming for that perfect placement, aiming for that perfect contact, aiming for that perfect power...
When that moment in time came, my neck naturally arched back and snapped forward, slamming the ball forward in the process.
There were no obstacles to the ball in front of goal. I just smashed the ball home from point blank range.
GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GAOL GAOL! GOALGOALLL GOAL GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went crazy. Everyone went crazy. I was a bastard. Instead of running towards John for that well taken corner, I went for the sexy bodies of Ken and Bollocks instead. That was because Ken ripped off his shirt and was expecting me to give him a hug, while John watched in disgust and envy. Those two fuckers (Ken and Bollocks) were just exclaiming "song bo song bo?" all the way.
Little did I realise that my run to the centre circle was fruitless. The ref had blown the final whistle the moment I left the penalty box. I might as well run back to where I put my bag.
All these was possible because of one simple idea: "If you want the ball, you will get it."
And today is definitely a memorable day.
Not only because Ah Lang scored a glorious header.
But because he charged into the enemy's box and conquered them all.
Today was no different from other matches. My team won a corner at the very last moment of the game. Most likely the final whistle will sound after the corner. We were losing 1-2, and Bollocks asked me whether I wanted to go up for it. Usually I would be contented not to go up, espcially when my team was winning.
But I had to go up for this one, because I felt responsible for conceding a goal less than 5 minutes ago. I had to redeem myself, and so I ran the customary 20m to the edge of the penalty box.
As I approached the box, Ken saw me and volunteered to stay back. I should have told him not to, because that was most likely the last corner of the game. Should have stayed to pack more bodies in the box.
Somehow I knew that the corner will come to me. CK and John have the tendency to aim their corners at me whenever I go up because I seldom attack corners.
And so, I occupied Ken's position at the edge of the box, and waited for the corner to come.
The whistle came, and John took a very sharp and direct corner. I was too eager and took one early step. By the time I reached the ball I no longer could use my forehead to make contact. But I compromised on the spot and used the side of my head instead. The contact was decent and the ball firmly aimed towards the near post. Everyone was shocked that i made such a good connection. The spontaneous "wow" betrayed their throughts. unfortunately it did not go in, but it bounced off a defender for another corner.
This time I was paid more attention. The opponent team assigned a marker to me. I had to beat him. And so I took cover just behind CK, so that the marker had no physical proximity to me.
I gave him the indifferent expression on my face, as if I was hinting to him that "I give up. Your marking has totally subdued me. You have control of the situation."
When the whistle went I took one step to CK's left, and the marker followed in the same direction. Immediately I shimmied to the right, and the poor fella was half a pace behind me. In corners, half a pace behind is considered beaten already, due to the lack of space for recovery.
As my poor marker was left biting my dust, I just kept looking at the ball and ran towards it, all the while hoping that it would be the same sharp delivery like the previous corner. Usually by this time I would know whether there was anymore motivation left in running for the ball, because the trajectory of the ball would be obvious by now. No point running forward if the ball was not coming to your attacking radius.
John did not disappoint. The ball was even better delivered than the previous corner. I realised that I had at least 0.5m radius of space around me when I approached the penalty spot, and the ball would be in front of me within a second.
From that moment I knew nothing else mattered, and no one else existed in the box. It was me and the ball alone. One firm header was all that was needed.
So many times I had practiced my headers at the RH hardcourt and at home. Just aiming for that perfect placement, aiming for that perfect contact, aiming for that perfect power...
When that moment in time came, my neck naturally arched back and snapped forward, slamming the ball forward in the process.
There were no obstacles to the ball in front of goal. I just smashed the ball home from point blank range.
GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GAOL GAOL! GOALGOALLL GOAL GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went crazy. Everyone went crazy. I was a bastard. Instead of running towards John for that well taken corner, I went for the sexy bodies of Ken and Bollocks instead. That was because Ken ripped off his shirt and was expecting me to give him a hug, while John watched in disgust and envy. Those two fuckers (Ken and Bollocks) were just exclaiming "song bo song bo?" all the way.
Little did I realise that my run to the centre circle was fruitless. The ref had blown the final whistle the moment I left the penalty box. I might as well run back to where I put my bag.
All these was possible because of one simple idea: "If you want the ball, you will get it."
And today is definitely a memorable day.
Not only because Ah Lang scored a glorious header.
But because he charged into the enemy's box and conquered them all.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Ah Lang the Striker
Haven't played striker in years.
Today managed to make a cameo appearance as striker. Wonder how I got the chance to go there. Must be because there are too many defenders today, so I got a chance to have a crack for about 10 mins.
My passing was not bad, no stray passes, no stray touches, no stray runs. My play was effective. muahahahha
I must say, I am good!
Today managed to make a cameo appearance as striker. Wonder how I got the chance to go there. Must be because there are too many defenders today, so I got a chance to have a crack for about 10 mins.
My passing was not bad, no stray passes, no stray touches, no stray runs. My play was effective. muahahahha
I must say, I am good!
Monday, April 07, 2008
Titanic
It was pitch darkness all around me. I couldn't find my footing.
And it was cold.
I was floating, drifting aimlessly in the void. Existence was simply miserable. There was no light, no support, no direction.
No hope.
I simply wanted to end it there.
Suddenly, light appeared from far, and I realised why I was put in such a miserable situation.
Without experiencing darkness, one will not be able to appreciate the beauty of light.
Sounds like dream land?
Too abstract?
It can happen in reality.
Cos I dreamt that I was floating in the ocean in the middle of the night, only to live to see the daylight at the horizon.
And it was cold.
I was floating, drifting aimlessly in the void. Existence was simply miserable. There was no light, no support, no direction.
No hope.
I simply wanted to end it there.
Suddenly, light appeared from far, and I realised why I was put in such a miserable situation.
Without experiencing darkness, one will not be able to appreciate the beauty of light.
Sounds like dream land?
Too abstract?
It can happen in reality.
Cos I dreamt that I was floating in the ocean in the middle of the night, only to live to see the daylight at the horizon.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Trip to Malacca
I went up to Malacca with my school football team for the past few days. The trip was as great as expected. Fully paid for holiday in the name of work, of course there is a give and take, with responsibilities of taking care of students.
The boys did themselves credit by playing their best against better opposition. I'm sure they'll get somewhere in the Nationals.
I spent my last tired awake moments at night watching HK dramas (undubbed!) on channel 7. (Jing Yan Yi Qiang).
I also spent a lot of time talking to people not of my age group and not of my language. The people I spoke most often to are in their 40s. (Coach and the tour guide). People at that age I find, work very hard, and yet are down to earth. More importantly, they take it easy when they deal with relationships with other people. Not that they are superficial, but they don't expect a lot from others and hold things against others.
Which I find is something acquired over years of experience.
Coach is very good at making witty humour befitting of his age. E.g. "Player X, you kept on insisting that you are not offside in that incident, we will take a look at the video after the game."
The fact was we didn't bring any video cam for the trip.
Peck Choo (the tour guide) is a street smart woman. She is very friendly and sincere to others, someone who fits my impression of a typical warm-hearted malaysian. She knows about lots of things. From politics to agriculture, there was never a dull moment talking to her. The anger in her when she talked about the fools in power, the uneccesary reclaiming of the sea off Klebang (which is near her home btw). The sparkle in her eyes when she talked about how bats pollinate rubber trees, and fresh water prawns hang out together with crocodiles in river muar. The sadness when she talked about her lost uncle due to the 2nd world war and the fear of fighting the communists. Her favourite phrase whenever she is upset with another person was:
"Send them into the malaysian jungle and see how they survive." Esp for tai tais who live in a world of their own. haha.
The two flowers (pretty girls) at the hotel reception were exceptionally nice to me. I seem to find them smile more demurely at me whenever I speak to them. The other one who couldn't speak English looked down most of the time when I was talking to her.
Should had told her that I like her and bring her over to Singapore. haha.
Before we returned to Singapore we went to a local products shop in JB. There was some interesting drink with Tongkat Ali inside. The salesgirl actually told me I might need it. haha.
Will try to take things easy from now on. Just as what Choo said.
"Malacca is a small town. People here are very simple and trusting. "
Shouldn't all people on Earth try to live like Choo and the Malaccans that she described?
The boys did themselves credit by playing their best against better opposition. I'm sure they'll get somewhere in the Nationals.
I spent my last tired awake moments at night watching HK dramas (undubbed!) on channel 7. (Jing Yan Yi Qiang).
I also spent a lot of time talking to people not of my age group and not of my language. The people I spoke most often to are in their 40s. (Coach and the tour guide). People at that age I find, work very hard, and yet are down to earth. More importantly, they take it easy when they deal with relationships with other people. Not that they are superficial, but they don't expect a lot from others and hold things against others.
Which I find is something acquired over years of experience.
Coach is very good at making witty humour befitting of his age. E.g. "Player X, you kept on insisting that you are not offside in that incident, we will take a look at the video after the game."
The fact was we didn't bring any video cam for the trip.
Peck Choo (the tour guide) is a street smart woman. She is very friendly and sincere to others, someone who fits my impression of a typical warm-hearted malaysian. She knows about lots of things. From politics to agriculture, there was never a dull moment talking to her. The anger in her when she talked about the fools in power, the uneccesary reclaiming of the sea off Klebang (which is near her home btw). The sparkle in her eyes when she talked about how bats pollinate rubber trees, and fresh water prawns hang out together with crocodiles in river muar. The sadness when she talked about her lost uncle due to the 2nd world war and the fear of fighting the communists. Her favourite phrase whenever she is upset with another person was:
"Send them into the malaysian jungle and see how they survive." Esp for tai tais who live in a world of their own. haha.
The two flowers (pretty girls) at the hotel reception were exceptionally nice to me. I seem to find them smile more demurely at me whenever I speak to them. The other one who couldn't speak English looked down most of the time when I was talking to her.
Should had told her that I like her and bring her over to Singapore. haha.
Before we returned to Singapore we went to a local products shop in JB. There was some interesting drink with Tongkat Ali inside. The salesgirl actually told me I might need it. haha.
Will try to take things easy from now on. Just as what Choo said.
"Malacca is a small town. People here are very simple and trusting. "
Shouldn't all people on Earth try to live like Choo and the Malaccans that she described?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Runner's High
I used to think I was happy from running because I liked the feeling of fatigue and sweating. I felt happier if I could ran to the seaside because there is a sense of accomplishment of getting there. (ECP mac not very near to my house). Moreover I kinda liked the scenary and the place.
Then I stumbled upon a scientific explanatino for all these. Enjoy.
"Most people claim that runners high is a feeling of invincibility and superior performance that can be brought on by certain environmental surroundings. Environmental stimuli affects everybody in positive and negative ways. Divers swimming in clear, warm water seem to experience pleasant sensations, while those in dark, cold water seem to encounter panic, fear, anxiety, and depression.5 These feelings can also be associated with running. When running on a beautiful, sunny day in a place where the scenery pleases the runner, he or she is more likely to experience happiness or even a high, versus when running on a cold, rainy day, along dark, unknown scenery. When a runner is able to take in the scenery that is around them and almost become one with it, then the run will be enhanced. One runner, Jamie Hurley, wrote that "I feel wonderful and have no desire to hide it. I look around me and can breathe in the fullness of my natural surroundings - the trees, the dirt, the birds, the little critters, the sun, the terrain, the wind". When looking at the different aspects of runner's high, the environmental surroundings play an important role."
Don't understand? Nevermind. Everything can be explained in two simple words,
Runner's High.
Then I stumbled upon a scientific explanatino for all these. Enjoy.
"Most people claim that runners high is a feeling of invincibility and superior performance that can be brought on by certain environmental surroundings. Environmental stimuli affects everybody in positive and negative ways. Divers swimming in clear, warm water seem to experience pleasant sensations, while those in dark, cold water seem to encounter panic, fear, anxiety, and depression.5 These feelings can also be associated with running. When running on a beautiful, sunny day in a place where the scenery pleases the runner, he or she is more likely to experience happiness or even a high, versus when running on a cold, rainy day, along dark, unknown scenery. When a runner is able to take in the scenery that is around them and almost become one with it, then the run will be enhanced. One runner, Jamie Hurley, wrote that "I feel wonderful and have no desire to hide it. I look around me and can breathe in the fullness of my natural surroundings - the trees, the dirt, the birds, the little critters, the sun, the terrain, the wind". When looking at the different aspects of runner's high, the environmental surroundings play an important role."
Don't understand? Nevermind. Everything can be explained in two simple words,
Runner's High.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Owned
Today got whacked by a good team 9-2. Instead of feeling disgusted with myself, somehow I felt quite happy to lose by such a margin.
The opponents demonstrated what ought to be done should a team be a genuine weekend league team.
1) Commitment. (All their players were ready and running by kickoff. i.e. 9 am)
2) Spirit. (They did their warm up together, with a bit of fun.)
3) Discipline. (They did what their manager/captain told them to do.)
4) Physique, fitness, technique, teamwork.
They also had one winger whom I known since my uni days. He was the nemesis of my team. Today he ran circles round me again. When I was younger I would definitely be angered by that and probably kick his foot.
But today I grew to respect him. At this age when my body are showing signs of degradation (because I didn't take care of them well), he was still as good as ever, if not better. He really served as a motivation for me. Somehow there is still hope at my age to play better.
What is the point of playing against weak opponents week in week out, beating them flat and boost our inflated egos?
Today I got brought down to earth again, by such an overwhelming defeat. At times we must reflect and think of the things that we are lacking. Lack pace, lack strength, lack aerial ability.
I was happy, because I know I have a lot of to work on.
If we are happy with ourselves, then we will stagnant. Was quite unhappy with work recently. Spoke to a few people about it. One friend of mine really lifted my spirits.
"At least what you are doing needs brains to do. They still are helping students in some way or another. Those that I am doing do not need brains! Anyone can do them. Isn't that more frustrating?"
and she continued her "consoling"...
"Maybe the reason why you are given so much responsibilities is because you are not ambitious. Supposing if I am your boss and I know you are the ambitious type, I won't considering giving you much work to do because I know you will only do them to prove yourself, and not genuinely helping the students."
Wth... So does that mean I must act ambitious so as to reduce my workload?
Really appreciated talking to her. She understood most of the things that I said, because we are in the same profession.
And I talked to more people. One friend of mine is an auditor. She works 6 days a week, stays in the office for 18 hours, and sleeps only 3+ hours a day.
And I complained about leaving home at 8.
Another friend just returned to office to fetch her laptop home to do work, and mine you, now is already 3:19 in the afternoon on a Sunday.
I think I should just shut up and do my work properly.
It's quite irrational to force things in life, for example to force my team to beat the team which whacked us 9-2 today.
But for things which are within our control, we must try our best. Because if we don't want to end up in the following situation,
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
then we must
进化成更好的人
The opponents demonstrated what ought to be done should a team be a genuine weekend league team.
1) Commitment. (All their players were ready and running by kickoff. i.e. 9 am)
2) Spirit. (They did their warm up together, with a bit of fun.)
3) Discipline. (They did what their manager/captain told them to do.)
4) Physique, fitness, technique, teamwork.
They also had one winger whom I known since my uni days. He was the nemesis of my team. Today he ran circles round me again. When I was younger I would definitely be angered by that and probably kick his foot.
But today I grew to respect him. At this age when my body are showing signs of degradation (because I didn't take care of them well), he was still as good as ever, if not better. He really served as a motivation for me. Somehow there is still hope at my age to play better.
What is the point of playing against weak opponents week in week out, beating them flat and boost our inflated egos?
Today I got brought down to earth again, by such an overwhelming defeat. At times we must reflect and think of the things that we are lacking. Lack pace, lack strength, lack aerial ability.
I was happy, because I know I have a lot of to work on.
If we are happy with ourselves, then we will stagnant. Was quite unhappy with work recently. Spoke to a few people about it. One friend of mine really lifted my spirits.
"At least what you are doing needs brains to do. They still are helping students in some way or another. Those that I am doing do not need brains! Anyone can do them. Isn't that more frustrating?"
and she continued her "consoling"...
"Maybe the reason why you are given so much responsibilities is because you are not ambitious. Supposing if I am your boss and I know you are the ambitious type, I won't considering giving you much work to do because I know you will only do them to prove yourself, and not genuinely helping the students."
Wth... So does that mean I must act ambitious so as to reduce my workload?
Really appreciated talking to her. She understood most of the things that I said, because we are in the same profession.
And I talked to more people. One friend of mine is an auditor. She works 6 days a week, stays in the office for 18 hours, and sleeps only 3+ hours a day.
And I complained about leaving home at 8.
Another friend just returned to office to fetch her laptop home to do work, and mine you, now is already 3:19 in the afternoon on a Sunday.
I think I should just shut up and do my work properly.
It's quite irrational to force things in life, for example to force my team to beat the team which whacked us 9-2 today.
But for things which are within our control, we must try our best. Because if we don't want to end up in the following situation,
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
then we must
进化成更好的人
Friday, February 22, 2008
分享快乐 享受生活
我只能低著頭發呆
讓回憶滲透腦袋
漸漸變空白
我把它當作個意外
但內心還想不開
以爲我明白
其實你都還在
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼
想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
我可以裝作已釋懷
他對我也算關懷
他看不出來
我知道這樣不應該
在他身上找依賴
算不算是種出賣
因爲你一直在
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
我想起你親吻我的時候
想起你眼神中的沉默
我想起了我們平靜的分手
我閉上眼
想起當時你美麗的承諾
把你整個心都交給我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
越是沒有你越是心痛
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼
想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
Tried too hard?
Too much pressure?
Wishful thinking?
Assume too much?
No patience?
In a rush?
No confidence?
Said too much?
No experience?
Too pessimistic?
No time?
One way traffic?
Or worst case scenario...
Had never been significant?
I think too much already. Time to sleep.
All that I needed in a quiet room at night with a mug of nice luke warm coffee.
讓回憶滲透腦袋
漸漸變空白
我把它當作個意外
但內心還想不開
以爲我明白
其實你都還在
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼
想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
我可以裝作已釋懷
他對我也算關懷
他看不出來
我知道這樣不應該
在他身上找依賴
算不算是種出賣
因爲你一直在
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
我想起你親吻我的時候
想起你眼神中的沉默
我想起了我們平靜的分手
我閉上眼
想起當時你美麗的承諾
把你整個心都交給我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
越是沒有你越是心痛
我想起了遇見你的時候
想起你眼神中的溫柔
我想起了我們第一次牽手
我閉上眼
想起當時你懷裡的顫抖
似乎那麽害怕失去我
然而到後來我什麼都沒有
當你離開的時候
Tried too hard?
Too much pressure?
Wishful thinking?
Assume too much?
No patience?
In a rush?
No confidence?
Said too much?
No experience?
Too pessimistic?
No time?
One way traffic?
Or worst case scenario...
Had never been significant?
I think too much already. Time to sleep.
All that I needed in a quiet room at night with a mug of nice luke warm coffee.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
It has been a while since Eason Chan's "Shall We Talk" that I had gone bonkers over a song.
I could sense the experiences and maturity of the lyricist, who also happened to be the singer of the song. There is flavour and pedigree in the lyrics. They not only reflect my past and present experiences, and also the people I had met in who either stabilised or destabilised (my life).
The message behind the lyrics tally with the governing life principle of mine now. i.e. I want to be a good man, I want to be a better man.
Was sheer enjoyment listening to the song. Guess I will be listening to it consistently over the next few years just like "Shall We Talk".
我的青春也不是没伤痕
是明白爱是信仰的延伸
什么特征人缘还是眼神
也不会预知爱不爱的可能
保持单身忍不住又沉沦
兜着圈子来去有时苦等
人的一生感情是旋转门
转到了最后真心的就不分
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒
得要我们
进化成更好的人
我的青春有时还蛮单纯
相信幸福取决于爱得深
读进化论我赞成达尔文
没实力的就有淘汰的可能
我的替身已换过多少轮
记忆在旧情人心中变冷
我的一生有几道旋转门
转到了最后只剩你我没分
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
进化成更好的人
I could sense the experiences and maturity of the lyricist, who also happened to be the singer of the song. There is flavour and pedigree in the lyrics. They not only reflect my past and present experiences, and also the people I had met in who either stabilised or destabilised (my life).
The message behind the lyrics tally with the governing life principle of mine now. i.e. I want to be a good man, I want to be a better man.
Was sheer enjoyment listening to the song. Guess I will be listening to it consistently over the next few years just like "Shall We Talk".
我的青春也不是没伤痕
是明白爱是信仰的延伸
什么特征人缘还是眼神
也不会预知爱不爱的可能
保持单身忍不住又沉沦
兜着圈子来去有时苦等
人的一生感情是旋转门
转到了最后真心的就不分
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒
得要我们
进化成更好的人
我的青春有时还蛮单纯
相信幸福取决于爱得深
读进化论我赞成达尔文
没实力的就有淘汰的可能
我的替身已换过多少轮
记忆在旧情人心中变冷
我的一生有几道旋转门
转到了最后只剩你我没分
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
有过竞争
有过牺牲
被爱筛选过程
学会认真
学会忠诚
适者才能生存
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
懂得永恒得要我们
进化成更好的人
进化成更好的人
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Last Day at RJ
Today I was at the RI/RJC campus again. Met up with an old friend of mine. He was my batch mate from RI, although I didn't know him very well then. He was from my neighbour class. I got to know him better in the first few years of my university because we disrupted from army at the same time.
I could safely say during the period of time after my disruption to the end of my first year in uni, he was my best friend.
Unfortunately as the years went by, I gradually took less and less modules in FASS and gradually lost contact with him. Fortunately I still have his phone number with me.
And I really appreciated him making an effort to meet up for a drink at his canteen. At 11+ he msg that he was free from now till 1230. I told him I can't, and he offered to come down at 1330. He was at his usual self. Cold and uncaring exteriorly, but actually he's quite a nice person inside.
Then we started talking and lamenting. Lamented about the falling standards of RJ. About how the school wasn't as formidable as during our time. Lamented about the lack of time, and how his days ended at 9 am in the night. He is also the soccer teacher in charge of RJ, I'm his counterpart at NJ. But I do less work than him bah. He actually coaches his students. I am only the team medic. Looks like certain things are universal.
Young teachers do not have time. Young teachers do not have life. Young teachers work very hard.
But his personality is more rugged I guess, despite his small frame. He took things in his stride and moved on.
"Just do sui sui while the bond lasts!"
haha. That was very true. Do everything well and then leave with our heads held high. Complain also no use.
Then we started to reminisice about the past. Which teachers are still around, which stalls are still around, etc.
And then we started talking about job prospects.
He was saying that RJ has an option called "direct staff". Which means that teachers do not have to take on leadership roles and have no cca commitments. Direct staff just concentrate on teaching. Sounds very attractive. Taking a pay cut to have a life.
But I'm not so naive to think that grasses are greener over the other side. RJ and RI are going to merge sooner or later, and when that happens the new RIJ will be the same as NJ going 6 years. There will be no difference being there or here. Staying at NJ might be better because I have already established myself and my teaching resources. (No doubt working with my ex-teachers at RJ as colleagues will be a huge draw for me).
Then at the course, I saw some of the older teachers who were very senior. Would I still be able to engage or teach effectively/passionately at that age? Would I still be as stubborn as I am now trying to be a teacher who is only concerned with teaching properly instead of manage all the admin work? I am not sure though, but in anycase, I do not want to shortchange my students in case any of the above were to come true.
I am not tempted or seduced to move. I am not even thinking of moving to anywhere other than NJ. But I do know that I will leave the service after 3 good years.
So might as well live the last 3 years of my teaching life to the fullest before rethinking my life options.
I could safely say during the period of time after my disruption to the end of my first year in uni, he was my best friend.
Unfortunately as the years went by, I gradually took less and less modules in FASS and gradually lost contact with him. Fortunately I still have his phone number with me.
And I really appreciated him making an effort to meet up for a drink at his canteen. At 11+ he msg that he was free from now till 1230. I told him I can't, and he offered to come down at 1330. He was at his usual self. Cold and uncaring exteriorly, but actually he's quite a nice person inside.
Then we started talking and lamenting. Lamented about the falling standards of RJ. About how the school wasn't as formidable as during our time. Lamented about the lack of time, and how his days ended at 9 am in the night. He is also the soccer teacher in charge of RJ, I'm his counterpart at NJ. But I do less work than him bah. He actually coaches his students. I am only the team medic. Looks like certain things are universal.
Young teachers do not have time. Young teachers do not have life. Young teachers work very hard.
But his personality is more rugged I guess, despite his small frame. He took things in his stride and moved on.
"Just do sui sui while the bond lasts!"
haha. That was very true. Do everything well and then leave with our heads held high. Complain also no use.
Then we started to reminisice about the past. Which teachers are still around, which stalls are still around, etc.
And then we started talking about job prospects.
He was saying that RJ has an option called "direct staff". Which means that teachers do not have to take on leadership roles and have no cca commitments. Direct staff just concentrate on teaching. Sounds very attractive. Taking a pay cut to have a life.
But I'm not so naive to think that grasses are greener over the other side. RJ and RI are going to merge sooner or later, and when that happens the new RIJ will be the same as NJ going 6 years. There will be no difference being there or here. Staying at NJ might be better because I have already established myself and my teaching resources. (No doubt working with my ex-teachers at RJ as colleagues will be a huge draw for me).
Then at the course, I saw some of the older teachers who were very senior. Would I still be able to engage or teach effectively/passionately at that age? Would I still be as stubborn as I am now trying to be a teacher who is only concerned with teaching properly instead of manage all the admin work? I am not sure though, but in anycase, I do not want to shortchange my students in case any of the above were to come true.
I am not tempted or seduced to move. I am not even thinking of moving to anywhere other than NJ. But I do know that I will leave the service after 3 good years.
So might as well live the last 3 years of my teaching life to the fullest before rethinking my life options.
Back to RJC
Today I was lingering around RJC. Quite fortuitously saw my ex-chem tutor eating at the canteen. Was so happy that she recognised me, remembered my name, and my class.
The first thing she asked me after finding out I'm a teacher was...
"Did you check your open posting? We need maths teachers!"
haha. Looks like she had a good impression of me after all. Was so flattered by that. I'm quite happy at NJ now. Don't feel like moving, unless I want a change of environment.
"Shun Chih do you know, Mr I mean, Dr Ho is coming back to RJ in April! Come back and join him."
Mr Ho was my math tutor cum civics tutor when I was still a student. Now he is already a Dr. heh. Would love to work with him as a colleague. Maybe that's the allure of RJ. There is a human touch here.
RJ certainly felt a lot warmer than RI.
The first thing she asked me after finding out I'm a teacher was...
"Did you check your open posting? We need maths teachers!"
haha. Looks like she had a good impression of me after all. Was so flattered by that. I'm quite happy at NJ now. Don't feel like moving, unless I want a change of environment.
"Shun Chih do you know, Mr I mean, Dr Ho is coming back to RJ in April! Come back and join him."
Mr Ho was my math tutor cum civics tutor when I was still a student. Now he is already a Dr. heh. Would love to work with him as a colleague. Maybe that's the allure of RJ. There is a human touch here.
RJ certainly felt a lot warmer than RI.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Back to RI
Today I returned to RI for the first time since graduating at 1997. Was there for a course. Physically a lot of things had changed. The campus and facilities got a lot larger and better.
I saw a couple of teachers who taught me before. I don't think they recognised me anymore. Anyway he didn't even know my name when he was teaching me.
Somehow I always felt RI as an intimidating place. Even as a student there. Don't know why. But I never felt at home in that school. I was all the more thankful that I am now not teaching there. I have nothing against RI boys. In fact, I was very impressed by the manners that they have. One boy even took the trouble to show me where I should dispose my plate after lunch. Another boy even bowed to me in front my car after I gave way to them at the school gate.
Still, that didn't help in the intimidation.
I took a short stroll into the RJ campus nearby. I had never been in the new RJ campus before. I spent my JC days at mount Sinai. The new RJ campus is indeed new and large. I got lost trying to get to the staffroom to look for my friends working there. Still, everything felt alien.
Maybe because RI/RJ is an elitist institution in nature. For all 6 years that I spent there, I couldn't help but feel that way.
It certainly felt weird returning to my alma mater. There is a lot of mixed feelings. On one hand RI/RJ are close to heart because they are no doubt places which I spent 6 years of my life, yet on the other hand, I don't really know anyone or anything about the schools now. Yes I may feel very demoralised and jaded by the workload given to me at my current school,
but I still feel at home at National Junior College.
I saw a couple of teachers who taught me before. I don't think they recognised me anymore. Anyway he didn't even know my name when he was teaching me.
Somehow I always felt RI as an intimidating place. Even as a student there. Don't know why. But I never felt at home in that school. I was all the more thankful that I am now not teaching there. I have nothing against RI boys. In fact, I was very impressed by the manners that they have. One boy even took the trouble to show me where I should dispose my plate after lunch. Another boy even bowed to me in front my car after I gave way to them at the school gate.
Still, that didn't help in the intimidation.
I took a short stroll into the RJ campus nearby. I had never been in the new RJ campus before. I spent my JC days at mount Sinai. The new RJ campus is indeed new and large. I got lost trying to get to the staffroom to look for my friends working there. Still, everything felt alien.
Maybe because RI/RJ is an elitist institution in nature. For all 6 years that I spent there, I couldn't help but feel that way.
It certainly felt weird returning to my alma mater. There is a lot of mixed feelings. On one hand RI/RJ are close to heart because they are no doubt places which I spent 6 years of my life, yet on the other hand, I don't really know anyone or anything about the schools now. Yes I may feel very demoralised and jaded by the workload given to me at my current school,
but I still feel at home at National Junior College.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Eat Snake
I think I gave myself too much pressure already. Pressure to do well.
Play soccer too stressed. Cannot concede. Cannot express myself. Yes even if I managed to keep a clean sheet forever I will not be happy either. Satisfaction yes, but enjoyment no. Because it is just too stressful to concentrate every game.
Legs are aching. Don't have much time left in my legs. Must enjoy every game. Concede a few goals is ok. Just enjoy the game, play to my true standard and nothing else matters. Besides,
taking that 30 metre blaster was so gratifying.
Too stressed over the workload at school too. Need to do this, need to do that. Sigh. If all in my mind is just trying to cover whatever work that is to be done in the future, when will this cycle ever stop? Hols? When I retire? Or when I die?
I think I should just concentrate on thinking of how to eat snake. At least when I had enjoyed myself to the extent, the guilt of not doing work will provide enough momentum to sustain me through the task. And eating snake is less taxing on the mind.
Eating snake does not mean I am no longer concerned about her. Just that I don't see the need to contact her so often that I felt is becoming harassment. No space to breathe. Not fresh topics to talk about. No element of surprise. Nothing refreshing. Things become stale when there is too much contact maybe? At least at this stage when we are only friends, just let things take its course. Sometimes trying too hard only adds to the pressure, and things backfire.
I had learnt for myself the lessons of trying too hard. I saw a young pe teacher trying very hard to conduct an enjoyable training session for the girls team. At the end the students appreciated his efforts but still kept a polite distance due to his over-eagerness.
I wasn't very friendly towards my hockey team throughout last sem. But I just did whatever that has to be done at the right time for them. And they appreciated them too. Even though I am not their T/IC now, at least the exco will still say hello to me whenever they see me around, cos they are the ones whom I had interacted most with, and knows what I had done.
So I should just do the appropriate things at the right time and let things develop naturally? :)
And what should I do in the meantime to occupy my thoughts when I don't contact her so often?
To think of ways to east snake of course, as a form to constantly rejuvenate the brain.
And this entry will never be possible if I am not eating snake now.
Play soccer too stressed. Cannot concede. Cannot express myself. Yes even if I managed to keep a clean sheet forever I will not be happy either. Satisfaction yes, but enjoyment no. Because it is just too stressful to concentrate every game.
Legs are aching. Don't have much time left in my legs. Must enjoy every game. Concede a few goals is ok. Just enjoy the game, play to my true standard and nothing else matters. Besides,
taking that 30 metre blaster was so gratifying.
Too stressed over the workload at school too. Need to do this, need to do that. Sigh. If all in my mind is just trying to cover whatever work that is to be done in the future, when will this cycle ever stop? Hols? When I retire? Or when I die?
I think I should just concentrate on thinking of how to eat snake. At least when I had enjoyed myself to the extent, the guilt of not doing work will provide enough momentum to sustain me through the task. And eating snake is less taxing on the mind.
Eating snake does not mean I am no longer concerned about her. Just that I don't see the need to contact her so often that I felt is becoming harassment. No space to breathe. Not fresh topics to talk about. No element of surprise. Nothing refreshing. Things become stale when there is too much contact maybe? At least at this stage when we are only friends, just let things take its course. Sometimes trying too hard only adds to the pressure, and things backfire.
I had learnt for myself the lessons of trying too hard. I saw a young pe teacher trying very hard to conduct an enjoyable training session for the girls team. At the end the students appreciated his efforts but still kept a polite distance due to his over-eagerness.
I wasn't very friendly towards my hockey team throughout last sem. But I just did whatever that has to be done at the right time for them. And they appreciated them too. Even though I am not their T/IC now, at least the exco will still say hello to me whenever they see me around, cos they are the ones whom I had interacted most with, and knows what I had done.
So I should just do the appropriate things at the right time and let things develop naturally? :)
And what should I do in the meantime to occupy my thoughts when I don't contact her so often?
To think of ways to east snake of course, as a form to constantly rejuvenate the brain.
And this entry will never be possible if I am not eating snake now.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Goal
Today my team won a penalty.
I walked up without invitation, took (more like snatched) the ball from the strikers.
Missing two penalties in a game sometime in 2006 did do me some good. I never felt pressure again from taking penalties.
I placed the ball on the spot, walked back a few measured steps, and smashed it without much aiming.
But the shot didn't need much aiming. It was too powerful for the keeper to handle. The ball ricocheted off his gloves and went it.
This kind of penalty was the most satisfying, because even if the keeper managed to guess the right way, he will have no hope at saving it. No hope. Totally fulfilling the old school thought of taking penalties. The 100% sure way to score from a penalty.
"Just lap the ball hard. Sure go in one."
What a way to start a new year.
I walked up without invitation, took (more like snatched) the ball from the strikers.
Missing two penalties in a game sometime in 2006 did do me some good. I never felt pressure again from taking penalties.
I placed the ball on the spot, walked back a few measured steps, and smashed it without much aiming.
But the shot didn't need much aiming. It was too powerful for the keeper to handle. The ball ricocheted off his gloves and went it.
This kind of penalty was the most satisfying, because even if the keeper managed to guess the right way, he will have no hope at saving it. No hope. Totally fulfilling the old school thought of taking penalties. The 100% sure way to score from a penalty.
"Just lap the ball hard. Sure go in one."
What a way to start a new year.
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