A Book Excerpt

Warning: This has nothing to do with a banana costume. Just something to chew on for awhile (figuratively, not literally):

"All these years, these angers, these hardenings, this desire to control. I had thought I had to snap the hand closed to shield joy's fragile flame from the blasts. In a storm of struggles, I had tried to control the elements, clasp the fist tight so as to protect self and happiness. But palms curled into protective fists fill with darkness. I feel that sharply, even in this... and this realization in all its full emptiness: My own wild desire to protect my joy at all costs is the exact force that kills my joy.

Flames need oxygen to light.

Flames need a bit of wind.

...The secret of joy's flame: Humbly let go. Let go of trying to do, let go of trying to control... let go of my own way, let go of my own fears. Let God blow His wind, His trials, oxygen for joy's fire. Leave the hand open and be. Bend the knee and be small and let God give what God chooses to give because He only gives love and whisper surprised thanks. This is the fuel for joy's flame. Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His graces has awakened me to how He cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of His love. I can trust. I can let go. I hadn't known that joy meant dying."

[Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts]

My Dog is Bananas... B-A-N-A-N-A-S

(Sorry to those of you (i.e. Mom & Dad) who missed out on that pop culture reference in the title.)

Dear Bloggy Friends,

It is time to rejoice, as my dog is officially a fruit. Yes, Rocket is the proud new owner of a banana costume. A guilt trip from my mom prevented me from spending a mere $7.99 (Hello, amazing! Clearly this deal was second only to the Louisiana Purchase)... however, Dad really believed in my cause and carried it to fruition (no pun intended). He is the Ulysses S. Grant to my Abraham Lincoln, and I am grateful for his military genius here in helping me to defeat the South (a.k.a. my mom).

Rocket seemed to be confused for the first five seconds of his life as a banana, but then he began to embrace it. Rather than attempt to express his feelings for him, I will let him tell his story, in words and in photos:

nghmjhnuhnnhjmj

uyyyyyyyyyyyvg[

]

yhuuuuuuuuuu7777777777

ollllllllllllllllllllllllllllllkihgvbhjn

So, as you can see, he pretty much loves it. Possibly the best part? If he ever changes his mind, begins resenting me for this, and decides to run away from home, I'm willing to bet that he is going to be found VERY easily. I mean, bright yellow is pretty hard to miss. (And can you imagine the photos I'd get to print on the "Lost Dog" fliers?)

Just in case anyone is wondering, Widget did have her moment to shine as well. She doesn't appear to be jealous of Rocket at all. If you are any good at reading dog body language (I'm looking at you, Cesar Millan), the following photo should suffice to sum up her feelings on this matter:

Even now, she keeps eyeing the costume suspiciously, like it might cause PETA to show up at any moment. (Secretly, I'm still thinking about going back and getting the hot dog costume for her. She is 84 in dog years... girl's gotta live a little while she still can.)

The one downside to this costume is that it has to be removed before Rocket goes outside to pee on 11 different items. Still, I think that's a pretty small price to pay for such fruity awesomeness.

Off Hiatus

I have finally decided to return to the blogging world. I'm not sure what this will look like, but one big change that has occurred in my life is that I'm now a big kid, so I'm using proper capitalization and punctuation. I apologize if this throws anyone off... but don't worry, I really am the one writing these posts, not someone posing as me.

I feel like it's a tough decision trying to figure out what to write about after over a year of posting nothing. I want it to be deep, meaningful, influential... something that comes from the heart and will make people really think. However, the most pressing thing on my mind right now is whether or not I should buy my dog a banana costume. So I think that today, my first day back to blogging, I am going to debate the pros and cons of that.

First, meet Rocket:

Now, meet Banana Costume:

Pros:
-It's a banana costume.
-Rocket is just weird enough to pull this off.
-Seriously, have you met my dog? With his personality, he will likely want to wear that banana costume year-round.
-Rocket will be festive for Halloween.
-My other dog (Widget) would likely resent me for dressing her up as anything, so I would only have to buy one costume.

Cons:
-The costume is $7.99. I am poor.
-What if Widget really DOES want a Halloween costume? How would I know? Would I have to go back and get her one? Would she rather have the banana costume or the hot dog costume?
-I'm not sure if I could get away with letting Rocket wearing the banana costume in public. Would it be worth it for him to just wear the banana costume around home all the time?

-Guilt trip from my mother for spending $7.99 on a banana costume when I am poor.

Pros:

-It's a banana costume.

I think the answer here is fairly obvious. For the two of you who still read this blog, I will update you soon...

random

1) watching shows about obesity really makes me want to eat fattening foods. i just saw a commercial for Biggest Loser and it made me crave cheese fries.

2) "billie jean" by michael jackson might be the best spontaneous dance party song ever.

3) people come into the ER and write down some pretty interesting complaints. example: "bleeding from virginia." ... that's a loooong way to bleed.

4) on a similar note, i'm pretty sure that there is a specific breed of people that only exists at walmart, the DMV, and the ER.

5) the craziest/worst drivers are on the road at 7 p.m.

6) i can't believe rich cronin from LFO died. (though i refuse to take back my previous post diagnosing the band with schizophrenia.)

7) someone invented caramel candy corn. it's somewhere on the list between cinnamon raisin english muffins and hot caramel apple cider.

8) i'm not sure i understand the vampire fad. actually, i'm positive that i DON'T understand the vampire fad. pedophilia, necrophilia, and beastiality? no, thank you.

9) i always forget to blog. witty inspiration will randomly strike me throughout the day, but i never remember to write it down and post it later. or maybe i'm just lazy. i'm too tired to decide.

10) this list does not go up to number 11!

rules to live by

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere, people may deceive you;

Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, someone could destroy overnight;

Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

[mother teresa]

addition to the post below

-paris at christmas time. (i just had a random dream about it and it looked good enough in the dream (and when i googled it) to be added to the list AND get its own post.)

bucket list

i started mine before morgan freeman and jack nicholson started theirs. also, i was thrown into a minor panic just now as i was flipping through (literally) twelve of my journals and couldn't find it-- but i did, smack in the middle of my Letters Journal from 2004, written in blue ink on a folded-up piece of paper and shoved between some sarah mclachlan song lyrics and a letter to a much-missed friend.

here goes ... not the full list, but part of it ... with a bit of revision/addition over the years and a few items completed (!!!!).

things i want to do before i die (in no specific order)
1) become fluent in another language
2) sleep under the stars
3) spend an entire day alone (completed 10/29/9)
4) watch a sunrise
5) watch a sunset
6) buy an original artwork
7) read an entire novel in a day (completed june 08)
8) get lost... on purpose
9) redecorate a room (completed january 05)
10) buy a dog
11) jump out of an airplane... with a parachute
12) listen to Ma Vlast while traveling down the Vltava River (sadly i added this one after i got back from prague)
13) keep a goldfish alive for more than a week (completed 10/9 - 4/10)
14) write something worthwhile (completed 2/27/3)
15) travel with no itinerary
16) get a passport ... and use it (completed may 08)
17) lead a small group (update: completed summer 10)
18) watch the stars from a planetarium
19) visit three countries in one week
20) finish an entire journal (completed december 09)


completely unrelated sidenote: i wouldn't be surprised to find out that Lady Antebellum's song "Something 'Bout a Woman" was stolen from Bryan Adams's diary.