Wednesday, June 01, 2011

It's easy to use things as distractions. But at the end of the day, are we truly happy?

Time fades things away. Be it good or bad. But it's sad that the good stuff gets diluted by time too. We need to put in the effort to keep them fresh. I feel guilty when memories start to fade. Those memories are all I have left.

If I think about you less and less everyday, does that mean I don't love you as much as I think I do? Or it's normal to live my life without you?

I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
lydia was in deep thought at 2:40 AM

Thursday, May 26, 2011

I need you now. I'm so frustrated. I need to bitch and complain and just vent my frustrations. I took you for granted and thought you'd always be there. I don't know what to do now. I feel like I could burst at any minute. I really just need to hear your voice. I need you now.
lydia was in deep thought at 5:01 AM

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

I want to tell you I love you. Because I know I do. Without a doubt. I pray and hope for the best. But I don't expect anything. I'm just glad to have you in my life. I will never make the mistake of driving you away. Ever again. I love you. I realize now it's as simple as that. Humans just complicate things. Redundant. I regret every single damn day. No matter the outcome, I still love you. Everyday.

I love you; always.
lydia was in deep thought at 12:00 AM

Friday, May 20, 2011

You are my best friend. Bestest. I can tell you anything. I don't want that to change.
lydia was in deep thought at 8:17 PM

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sometimes it feels so hard just to get through the day. It hurts. My heart, and my mind. They hurt. It hurts when I think of the memories. Good and bad. Part of me thinks it's too late. I never wanted to make you unhappy. Ironically, I wanted to make you the happiest you can ever be. I just didn't do it right. I was broken. I still am. But now I know how it feels to really lose somebody. I've got no one to blame but myself. You probably don't care anymore. I can tell. Or you're just trying to forget. I don't blame you. I just wish I gave you better memories.
lydia was in deep thought at 2:48 AM

Thursday, May 12, 2011

All the good times we could have had; I wasted them all.
lydia was in deep thought at 1:32 AM

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I'm falling apart,
I'm barely breathing.
A broken heart,
That's still beating.
In the pain,
Is there healing?
In your name,
I find meaning.
lydia was in deep thought at 11:09 PM