It's a raining night. Not too cold.
Tomorrow is Monday. Not sure whether I am Monday blue symptoms as I feel kinda emo suddenly.
No one home as every family member is having their own activity. I own the tv tonight.
Rarely I have the chance to sit on sofa and watching my favorite tv program.
A movie has attracted my attention and I just sit I front of TV until the movie finished.
At last scene, a statement showed : to the one to true to ourselves.
This statement has brought me lots of thoughts. How many items we can true to ourselves and be ourselves?
Many ppl said I am a tough girl, I don't understand in what ways that making myself looked tough.
But I know it.
I looked tough, but I am weak inside.
I looked tough, but I am unhappy inside.
I looked tough, but I am lonely inside.
Tonight, I feel want to be weak. Feel want to be cry. Feel want to be loved by someone.
As simple, as that.
Sunday, November 23, 2014
Sunday, November 2, 2014
One year and I'm back
It's been a year that I do not update this space.
Or I should say a space that I share my little secret with myself.
Was working very hard in the past, yes!work very hard to earn money for myself, family and future family.
And today I harvest it.
No doubt, the return in term of money is positive, yet the other return is discouraging.
I felt myself lost my direction to only earn money and forget to enjoy and slow down my footstep. I missed lots of thing and my health (heart) signal me with some symptoms.
I do not have much time to have good communication with parents. Though I reached home early, I tend to keep myself in the room and rest. Honestly, I really feel exhausted with a day of driving, walking with heaviest stuffs, talking. And I just feel tired again to listen my mum or dad complaints each other.
And him, the stress and tension I had make us fell into argument and unhappy situation many times.
We're not happy.
I wish to tell him, I feel it and I know it. The pure love in between us has changed.
I just felt you're scared of me, though you still love me. He never knows my heart is just so pain.
He never knows Even though I am a strong Iron Lady out in the field, when meeting him, I can just happy and satisfy with his warm hug.
I just feel sorry to my parents and him.
I don't expect anyone even you to understand me though how I wish you can.
Today is 1.11.2014 (Sunday).
I was Insomia for about 3weeks plus. I wish I can have a good sleep tonight.
Monday is coming. New day, new hope.
L.O.V.E.
Or I should say a space that I share my little secret with myself.
Was working very hard in the past, yes!work very hard to earn money for myself, family and future family.
And today I harvest it.
No doubt, the return in term of money is positive, yet the other return is discouraging.
I felt myself lost my direction to only earn money and forget to enjoy and slow down my footstep. I missed lots of thing and my health (heart) signal me with some symptoms.
I do not have much time to have good communication with parents. Though I reached home early, I tend to keep myself in the room and rest. Honestly, I really feel exhausted with a day of driving, walking with heaviest stuffs, talking. And I just feel tired again to listen my mum or dad complaints each other.
And him, the stress and tension I had make us fell into argument and unhappy situation many times.
We're not happy.
I wish to tell him, I feel it and I know it. The pure love in between us has changed.
I just felt you're scared of me, though you still love me. He never knows my heart is just so pain.
He never knows Even though I am a strong Iron Lady out in the field, when meeting him, I can just happy and satisfy with his warm hug.
I just feel sorry to my parents and him.
I don't expect anyone even you to understand me though how I wish you can.
Today is 1.11.2014 (Sunday).
I was Insomia for about 3weeks plus. I wish I can have a good sleep tonight.
Monday is coming. New day, new hope.
L.O.V.E.
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