Maybe its just me but every time I think of you, I find myself slapping myself. It doesn't hurt, but the thought of you is just haunting. Can't get you out of my head even if I try my very best.
Was just reading a friend's blog the other day and it reminded me so much of how I used to feel over you. And how you're feeling now is how i used to feel about you. How confusing is that. I wish i could just tell you that everything will be alright and someone would come into your life again and make everything better when you least expect it. Maybe the trick is to stop looking for that special someone. Maybe the trick is to just wait and let life be as it is. Maybe just not expect anything so you won't get disappointed. But i wont. cause I do not want to meddle. Its already as screwed up as it is.. I don't want to be caught in the middle. I know this is the selfish side of me speaking but if you were in my shoes, you'd feel the same way too.
Sometimes I feel I'm not a good enough friend for anyone. I only talk to you when I'm interested to know you better. And for some friends, I might as well be known as a fair-weathered friend. You hear stories about those kind of people and I promised myself never to be one. But here I am stuck in the present.
Maybe he is right. I treat you like a special friend. Not in a 'I like you' kind of way, but in a 'as long as you're alright, i'll be alright' kind of way. And if you're not alright, I'd have to find a way to make you alright. I would do things for you I would never do for a normal friend. Like pick you up from the airport at 6 in the morning or accompany you anywhere. Maybe this is how its meant to be. Me always loving you more, always treasuring you more. even as a friend. Maybe this is how its suppose to be..
