So my first two days on the "diet" are complete. They are known as "loading days" where I take the drops but stauff my face full of things like avocados (which I LOVE) and nuts and dairy (which I LOVE) ..... and I actually had to force myself to eat. That is a new thing for me. I rarely have to force myself to eat..... hehehehe.... hence the reason why I am fat! haha!
It did make me start to see just how psychological eating is. Which was interesting. Tomorrow I weigh in, take measurements, "before" pictures - and begin the next phase of my "scientific" (term used loosely) experiment. Here goes nothing!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Friday, October 22, 2010
?
So..... I may officially be crazy, results are pending.....
I'm going to do an experiment. I know LOTS of people who have had great success on the HCG diet getting injections from their dr and following a strict diet protocol for up to six weeks. All of them swear by it. I thought at first it was a little crazy, but I did some research..... I would definitely try it if it weren't $600- $1500! Real HCG in it's straight form has to be prescribed by a dr.
Homeopathic HCG drops on the other hand......other people I know (in my family and out) are going this route..... and the evidence for drops is also very compelling. There is much evidence that sublingual drops work just as well as the injections.....it has its critics though. It does sound hokey....
So I'm going to try it and see what happens. I've got my drops, (alcohol free version), my diet plan, recipes, and I'm off to the drug store to get ketostix to test daily to see if I am truly burning fat - or just losing water weight and muscle. I have a spreadsheet all set up to chart how I feel physically - and I plan to update here as well..... perhaps I am insane and I have bought myself a very expensive bottle of water and starvation - or maybe the studies are right - and the homeopathic hcg drops are as effective as the injections....
wish me well....
I'm going to do an experiment. I know LOTS of people who have had great success on the HCG diet getting injections from their dr and following a strict diet protocol for up to six weeks. All of them swear by it. I thought at first it was a little crazy, but I did some research..... I would definitely try it if it weren't $600- $1500! Real HCG in it's straight form has to be prescribed by a dr.
Homeopathic HCG drops on the other hand......other people I know (in my family and out) are going this route..... and the evidence for drops is also very compelling. There is much evidence that sublingual drops work just as well as the injections.....it has its critics though. It does sound hokey....
So I'm going to try it and see what happens. I've got my drops, (alcohol free version), my diet plan, recipes, and I'm off to the drug store to get ketostix to test daily to see if I am truly burning fat - or just losing water weight and muscle. I have a spreadsheet all set up to chart how I feel physically - and I plan to update here as well..... perhaps I am insane and I have bought myself a very expensive bottle of water and starvation - or maybe the studies are right - and the homeopathic hcg drops are as effective as the injections....
wish me well....
Sunday, September 12, 2010
My sister in law recently posted a blog entry about the MTV show "If You Really Knew Me", and then continues on to post unknown facts about herself. I thought it was good, and insightful. I am often reluctant to share the personal and emotional details of myself or my life on my blog, because I'm not ready to be quite so personal on the very public internet. But, I figure - why not? So, I'll add my "If You Really Knew Me" segment to my blog as well. Even though it makes me nervous.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I am torn between a place I yearn for and people I yearn for. My family is here in AZ, and I yearn for my family and friends here, but I yearn also for New York. I wish I could reconcile the two and take all the people I love to NY with me and never look back and live the rest of our life there. Not gonna happen. When we lived in New York I really felt like I finally fit in and belonged somewhere.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that while right now I am a reserved and private and instrospective person, I used to be an extrovert who wasn't shy and wasn't afraid of anything. A very bad experience with a stalker and I underwent a massive change. I sometimes wish the the extrovert was still around, but I haven't seen her for a while. I'm still learning to accept myself for who I am and who I want to be, and not focus on who I used to be and am not anymore.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I get overly suspicious and almost paranoid of people who stare at me or my children for too long. Sounds weird, I know. It stems from the paragraph above, so just go with it.
If you really knew me..... You'd know I am mortified by Glenn Beck
If you really knew me..... You'd know that sometimes I actually feel pretty and like the way I look, until I see a picture that someone has tagged of me me on facebook.....and I jump right back into the intense emotional roller coaster that is trying to lose weight, and trying to love the way I look in spite of everything. Otherwise I would never get the courage to leave the house. Some days I don't.
If you really knew me......You'd know that my husband gets the credit for being the smarty pants and the brains in our family. However I am smart too, and can hold my own in any intellectual debate with my husband or anyone else any day. I'm just reserved and don't feel the need to show it off.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I have a very kind heart and wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, and I have an intense love for people. All kinds. I love to be around people, even if I'm not the one talking. I just love to be in the middle of a big crowd, and just be quiet. One of the reasons why I was so in love with New York. The diversity. I LOVE diversity. It's one of the most beautiful things about people and the rest of God's creations. I think I have been blessed with a special gift to appreciate and see it. For which I am very grateful.
If you really knew me......You'd know that I talk to myself out loud and call myself "Johnson". Before I got married I called myself "Jamesey".
If you really knew me..... You'd know I struggle not to be a music snob.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I get incensed at conservative fanatics, and I despise conservative based political agenda pushing email forwards and no matter who they are from they will not be opened and will immediately be deleted. However, I am not likely to ever get very deep into a political "discussion" in person to discuss my feelings.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I love to have friends, I need them, and I love to laugh, but I struggle to start conversations for fear that someone might find me boring.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I can't get enough of 9/11 documentaries.
If you really knew me......You'd know that I believe in ghosts and grew up in a haunted house. And I am not afraid of the dark or ghosts. It's the people living and what they do to each other who scare the crap out of me.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I am fiercely stubborn and independent and will stand up against injustice. And I am very strong. And at the same time can get my feelings hurt very easily. But I am also quick to forgive and move on.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I have fought several times a fierce and nearly debilitating battle with OCD and I could actually BE on one of those "OCD" documentary shows on tv. If you knew the inner workings of my OCD, you'd likely be shocked. But you'd also know that I am an OCD success story. And I am strong and know that I can do anything now because of it. I know I can overcome anything now. Even if it takes a while.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that I worry that I am too selfish, too offensive, or too fat, or too awkward.
If you really knew me...... you'd know that I really do believe I have the most amazing husband in the world, and I really do know how lucky and blessed I am. Even though he annoys me sometimes. :)
If you really knew me......You'd know that my favorite smells are rain on hot dirt, comet bathroom cleanser, and laundry detergent.
If you really knew me...... You'd know I'm actually a very funny person when I'm really comfortable where I am.....and I can actually be pretty irreverant. I have to keep it in check.
If you really knew me...... You'd know I don't want my husband to buy me flowers. I'd rather he just go on a walk with me instead.
If you really knew me..... you'd know I have an intense fear of my teeth falling out.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that I am terrified of public speaking because it draws attention to me. But I have no fears of singing in public because it is one of the things I am very confident about.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that i struggle to share my feelings through talking and speaking. I try and I do it, but it takes a while and it's difficult. I'm much better sharing them through writing.
If you really knew me...... you'd know that I almost can't handle it when someone is mad at me and I will lose several night's sleep over it. It's the worst feeling in the world. Right up there with being ignored.
If you really knew me..... You'd know it takes quite a while to really know me, but it's worth it.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I am torn between a place I yearn for and people I yearn for. My family is here in AZ, and I yearn for my family and friends here, but I yearn also for New York. I wish I could reconcile the two and take all the people I love to NY with me and never look back and live the rest of our life there. Not gonna happen. When we lived in New York I really felt like I finally fit in and belonged somewhere.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that while right now I am a reserved and private and instrospective person, I used to be an extrovert who wasn't shy and wasn't afraid of anything. A very bad experience with a stalker and I underwent a massive change. I sometimes wish the the extrovert was still around, but I haven't seen her for a while. I'm still learning to accept myself for who I am and who I want to be, and not focus on who I used to be and am not anymore.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I get overly suspicious and almost paranoid of people who stare at me or my children for too long. Sounds weird, I know. It stems from the paragraph above, so just go with it.
If you really knew me..... You'd know I am mortified by Glenn Beck
If you really knew me..... You'd know that sometimes I actually feel pretty and like the way I look, until I see a picture that someone has tagged of me me on facebook.....and I jump right back into the intense emotional roller coaster that is trying to lose weight, and trying to love the way I look in spite of everything. Otherwise I would never get the courage to leave the house. Some days I don't.
If you really knew me......You'd know that my husband gets the credit for being the smarty pants and the brains in our family. However I am smart too, and can hold my own in any intellectual debate with my husband or anyone else any day. I'm just reserved and don't feel the need to show it off.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I have a very kind heart and wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose, and I have an intense love for people. All kinds. I love to be around people, even if I'm not the one talking. I just love to be in the middle of a big crowd, and just be quiet. One of the reasons why I was so in love with New York. The diversity. I LOVE diversity. It's one of the most beautiful things about people and the rest of God's creations. I think I have been blessed with a special gift to appreciate and see it. For which I am very grateful.
If you really knew me......You'd know that I talk to myself out loud and call myself "Johnson". Before I got married I called myself "Jamesey".
If you really knew me..... You'd know I struggle not to be a music snob.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I get incensed at conservative fanatics, and I despise conservative based political agenda pushing email forwards and no matter who they are from they will not be opened and will immediately be deleted. However, I am not likely to ever get very deep into a political "discussion" in person to discuss my feelings.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I love to have friends, I need them, and I love to laugh, but I struggle to start conversations for fear that someone might find me boring.
If you really knew me...... You'd know that I can't get enough of 9/11 documentaries.
If you really knew me......You'd know that I believe in ghosts and grew up in a haunted house. And I am not afraid of the dark or ghosts. It's the people living and what they do to each other who scare the crap out of me.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I am fiercely stubborn and independent and will stand up against injustice. And I am very strong. And at the same time can get my feelings hurt very easily. But I am also quick to forgive and move on.
If you really knew me..... You'd know that I have fought several times a fierce and nearly debilitating battle with OCD and I could actually BE on one of those "OCD" documentary shows on tv. If you knew the inner workings of my OCD, you'd likely be shocked. But you'd also know that I am an OCD success story. And I am strong and know that I can do anything now because of it. I know I can overcome anything now. Even if it takes a while.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that I worry that I am too selfish, too offensive, or too fat, or too awkward.
If you really knew me...... you'd know that I really do believe I have the most amazing husband in the world, and I really do know how lucky and blessed I am. Even though he annoys me sometimes. :)
If you really knew me......You'd know that my favorite smells are rain on hot dirt, comet bathroom cleanser, and laundry detergent.
If you really knew me...... You'd know I'm actually a very funny person when I'm really comfortable where I am.....and I can actually be pretty irreverant. I have to keep it in check.
If you really knew me...... You'd know I don't want my husband to buy me flowers. I'd rather he just go on a walk with me instead.
If you really knew me..... you'd know I have an intense fear of my teeth falling out.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that I am terrified of public speaking because it draws attention to me. But I have no fears of singing in public because it is one of the things I am very confident about.
If you really knew me..... you'd know that i struggle to share my feelings through talking and speaking. I try and I do it, but it takes a while and it's difficult. I'm much better sharing them through writing.
If you really knew me...... you'd know that I almost can't handle it when someone is mad at me and I will lose several night's sleep over it. It's the worst feeling in the world. Right up there with being ignored.
If you really knew me..... You'd know it takes quite a while to really know me, but it's worth it.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Loving the rain!
After teasing us for weeks it finally poured down rain at our house. YAY!! And it rained for a while - DOUBLE Yay! We immediately went outside to play in the rain and the boys loved it, and I loved watching them have so much fun. It brought back some really wonderful childhood memories for me. I grew up in St. Johns where we had some really fantastic rain storms. My mom used to load my sister and I up into the car and we would go drive somewhere and just watch it rain and rain. St. Johns really was a beautiful little town, adn we would find somewhere green to sit and watch it rain. We had the best talks then. Sometimes we just sat in our drive way.
When I was 8 or 9 I went up to Rachel and Porter Wilhelm's cabin with their family. That is such a wonderful memory for me. Their cabin had a tin roof and when it would rain we would go up to the loft and listen to the rain come down on the tin roof and it was such an amazing sound. And smell. I love the smell of rain on dust. My absolute favorite. And I cannever get enough of the sound of the crash of thunder and the excitement of lightening!
My sweet Thomas. He never ceases to melt my heart. He is my treasure.
My fun James. The joy he finds in life is so infectious! Along with his dad, he is my rock.
My boys, how I adore them!
When I was 8 or 9 I went up to Rachel and Porter Wilhelm's cabin with their family. That is such a wonderful memory for me. Their cabin had a tin roof and when it would rain we would go up to the loft and listen to the rain come down on the tin roof and it was such an amazing sound. And smell. I love the smell of rain on dust. My absolute favorite. And I cannever get enough of the sound of the crash of thunder and the excitement of lightening!
My sweet Thomas. He never ceases to melt my heart. He is my treasure.
My fun James. The joy he finds in life is so infectious! Along with his dad, he is my rock.
My boys, how I adore them!
I had the best grandparents growing up, and I adored them as my favorite people in the whole world. They would come and visit in the Summer and I looked forward to it all year because they always stayed a long time.Before my grandpa got deep into alzheimers we used to go for long walks together. He didn't say much, but I loved being with him. I used to be terrified of storms, truely terrified and I drove my mother crazy everytime it rained. One Summer night when my grandparents were visiting us it started to pour down a major monsoon storm and I was freaking out. No one could ever calm me down when I freaked out during the storms. Except Grandpa. He grabbed two chairs and put them out on the front porch. And we sat out on the porch together and he told me how much he loved storms, and he explained to me how the storms work and what lightening and thunder REALLY are. And we went through my rock collection, and he explained to me how rocks are made and that I wouldn't have my beautiful rocks if it weren't for storms like this one. We sat there for a long time talking and watching the rain. I've never been afraid of it since that night. I now share his deep love for crazy rain storms. Such a favorite thing!
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A Summer of family pictures
In June we did pictures with Dad and that side of my family, and then we did pictures with the Johnsons, and today we did pictures with my mom. I love her and her silver hair, and I love documenting life and the people we care about!
My pretty mom
I had to put this one on here because Damian makes me laugh! :)
Mom and her boys
Me
Kelli
Kelli, Mom and me
My pretty mom
I had to put this one on here because Damian makes me laugh! :)
Mom and her boys
Me
Kelli
Kelli, Mom and me
