emo-momo post

the person in the mirror seems
like

she can't understand her friend's troubles
and can't help them

she's the type that does not really appreciate her loved ones' actions

even though
she tries to be herself
she always tries to bend backwards to fit in
and then the comments others give breeds doubts in her mind
are they commenting on what she really is.
or are their comments directed at the actions that is not really her?

contradicting herself to no end
a typical female
flawed to max

blast the music please
the old her was so true but so hard to live as with the surroundings.
the fake one although is difficult to act out......brings convenience and comfort

go figure
everyones a running presidential candidate
selling and lying our way through life to promote our front to others for opinions and comments to spur us on to the future.

3 toys

this is a pre emptive strike

before jae tells everyone

i shall admit it myself

hahahhahaa

after exams......

i became the proud owner of 3 toys

n i intend to buy more

haha

loves

exam........OVER

exam recap of expected grades
NONE
don't wanna think abt it

uhhhhhhh
JURONG HILL is SUUUUUUUUUUUPER pretty at night....or should i say..morning
anyways.
its the best.

too bad there's no cafe there

cindy's current loves
gf's pasta
gf's dog-GINGER
my new gunner zaku warrior ZGMF-1000/A1(super pretty with Lunamaria Hawke)
jurong hill
late night/early morning drives
honey water
green tea latte
gf's toast bread egg baked bean ham combo breakfast!
weird dresses that jae hates me to touch/wear
shoulders to sleep on in buses and taxis-gf,bf,jae
taxi!
my Ish magazine
fairy puzzle and
UNOPENED kaleidoscope making kit

cindy has grand plans to spoil herself rotten in the coming weeks

stuff to do
slack
buy new specs
cut my growing jungle hair
paint room
draw
paint
check out new parks
tuition
sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep
eat yummy yummy yummy deserts
buy a super weird happy dress
pack room :(
get a proper swim suit instead of those tempting biks
swimmmmmmmm
read

spend time with people i love tops the list

the exam week was tiring.
but i really am grateful to the people who was around me
-family,
-jae,salny,fred,kerin,
and
leepeng,sj and his black white boys

points to note
-sports day planning....i think must be scheduled a week later due to cindy's persistant cough and aching obasan muscles

currently planned activities
-sleep
-sleep and eat
-rest

prediction of the week
-weight gain of 5kg from 50 to 55
hooya'

best?or not trying at all

don't know if i tried my best.
worse feeling in the world.
i feel tired?from all the crap
exams-family-relationship

but when i think abt my actions
in terms of hours?
i don't know if i had really done my best

sometimes i think i did
sometimes i think i did my best to lie to myself
sometimes i think the time i spent doing my best=other people's worse.

if time turned back.
i probably would do the same.

the only thing i've learn from the exam period is that my bed is the most comfortable
and mr cat is the best sleeping buddy ever.

from family i've learnt in this period that.
once in a while.giving abit more even though it feels weirdly embarrassing is.gd i guess
from relationships.
every thing needs to be maintained to remain in good condition.
but if maintainence is too costly.
sometimes the thought of giving up is present.
and for that.i really don't know what is the best option to take-

old scores

You know how it feels when you want to change the past
But you know if you went back in time.
With the same feelings in your heart
You would have repeated your mistakes again
Knowing the full consequences
Does not mean you can rule out what you want

Weird thoughts may rule your mind

With the surroundings providing the standard grid of what you are supposed to want
Giving you limited suggestions
Your wants are just what others programmed in your mind

That piece of candy
That shirt
That house
That job
That life

Advertisements
Society norms
Expectations
Your family’s values

Those wants create your happiness and sadness when you obtain or fail to get them
Your future is based on the success and failure of the journey to collect all those wants.

And maybe for some the path seems clear.
Because of the clarity of their wants, drive them forward into the future
While I stay stagnant, I really don’t know what I want
So don’t some running, demanding that I collect your wants with you
I may not know what I want.
But I am clear that the journey to my future does not contain the same pit stops as yours
.................................

some meetings are best left forgotten

don't fuck ard w/ me

......
as the title goes.

don't

a bitch
a irritating lizard man
a flu
a crazy family
guests
70% less food for a week plus.
close to zero choco
minimal sweets
impending exams
= a very high strung stressed out cindy.

so don't even try.


be nice.
if u can't
then be quiet

and submit to ALL my wishes.
and pray you survive

:]

dead

pissed off by a bitch.
the same one that pisses jae off

so going to mug


sick
miss gf alot now

brain is fried.
i want frolick's yogurt and blueberry toppings :[

tml is soooooooooooo going to be a long day with cm/.fit/fp/ec cramming.

i miss the old days.
and i really want dad's advice.

oh well.
wisdom comes in the form of astrology readings at yahoo.com for now i guess.

god bless cindy,
or as the great salny once said "tua pek gong bless you"

how dead is cindy?

cindy was lazing ard one sat night.

when she suddenly realised that she is sooooooooo dead.

exams=16th feb

death is looming .....................

the period of pokka coffee, Nescafe mocha, Coffee bean ice blended, sourcandies, lollipops, eyebags, bad temper,7 meals a day,54kg and vulgarities has arrived yet again.


abt 3-4 days per sub.
cm,fp,fit,ec from scratch.............2.5 chapters per day.

my brain feels fried already.



let's hope this sem's gpa wun bruise my ego.
god bless me