ah crap, i know that you're reading this.

What's wrong with me... Isn't this what i've been wanting to say for so long? Why am i regretting now?

Gonna go marina bay sands with max later on. Shit, i haven't bathe yet. HAHA. So i'm gonna be late again, most probably. I just don't have the mood to prepare and rush out. Not much mood. Depression? maybe. lol! anyway, was in malaysia from 19-21 oct. go there eat eat see fireworks. so nice. hahaha... but there super sian. no internet, no sms, no phone calls. like cannot do anything. everyday trapped in my grandma's house coz don't have car or license to drive out to shopping areas. like trapped in cage like that. but well, there's a big piece of land there, so at least still can run around like a kampong kid. spent my day in singapore watching WGM2 all day long. at least that's currently the only thing that can make me laugh like an idiot from the bottom of my hypothalamus. so going to malaysia makes alittle change to my usual habit. haha :) The worst thing ever, no wlan around. Kampong style!

On the other hand, you seem to be taking it very well. talking to me like a normal friend. I SHOULD be happy. But why am i feeling so depressed. Why?

I still miss you, i really do. It's not that easy for me. You have a club, but what do i have?
Just amanda. only amanda. forever amanda. Thanks amanda, i love you :)

It's such an irony. i was so happy in the previous post. hahaha....
A one year 4 months and 7 days relationship is not as strong as how it seemed to be. Is it too late to realise that maybe we were not meant for each other? Somehow, one way or another. I know that your future won't have me inside.
A girl who is easily contended. What this girl wants is so simple. Now i know. The reason for being so depressed. It's not cause you didn't do this or that. Or not cause you did this or that. It's just because no effort is sense. You are just going with the flow, using what was available to make me happy. making me happy when i'm angry with you. and ignoring me when i need you the most. thanks alot.
There's this chinese verse which goes: 女人哄哄就好。 This is exactly the way i'm being treated now. Given sweet once in awhile, expecting that it'll last very long. So dumb. So dumb to realise this only after so long.
Will be going off to malaysia, this will be the post before i go. haha...

I'll be back as a different person. Byebye, shi chia.

ps: there's no need to mourn for a year if we decide to end this.

Have you ever felt the kind of instant shock in your life? Of course, i'm not talking about electricity shock. I meant the kind of shock you get from surprises. Those that makes people just freeze at that moment for a minute before they have a chance to think straight.
Yesterday, just yesterday, i got the best surprise of my life! A surprise when i least expected one.


I got a very special helium balloon delivery right outside the lift door at the 12th storey.(my house)


My first thought was " who the hell left the balloons here. " LOL! It took me a few seconds to realise that the balloons were for me. HELIUM balloons. YES! HELIUM! :D
But the helium balloons were not the main thing. It was the words written on it that touched my heart. I totally melted at the sight of the bloons.
Just a few minutes before i reached home, i recieved a phone call from him which didn't help in our quarrels at all. In fact, it kinda worsen it. But obviously, he had a plan up his sleeves. He just wanted to see what time i will reach home and estimate the timing! And i thought he called just coz he was bored while going home. And all along he was hiding at the opposite block to observe. So cute. What happened after that was: calledhim,randownstairs,searchedforhimlikeamadwoman,panic,foundhim,happyending,reachedhomewithXXLballoons,getscoldedbymomforhavingmessyroom, etc etc...

So right now, i'm feeling kinda guilty. Guilty for having said the words that i shouldn't just to hurt you. Guilty for the intention to just stop everything we had for the past 1 year 4 months and 4 days. It's just about the time. Everything will work out just fine. I'll try my best to conform to your timing. But please don't step over my head. Because i'll grumble and roar. And everything will go in a circle again. Hehe. So till then, I LOVE HUND WONG KE CHENG (L)

Muahahaha! I'm back! :D

Just decided to post something while i'm kinda free. Tmr lesson starts at 10, so i can sleep alittle later! :) Was almost late today. Coz my handphone dropped under the bed. Then i cannot hear the alarm D:
Anyway, i'm not gonna talk much about details of things that are happening. Just in general. Currently, i'm kinda contended with my life. I have everything that i need. Maybe not entirely perfect, but still, it's much better then many ppl.(trust me, it definately is)
Well, everytime i have time alone, i will start to think about things going on around me. Analyse things. Definately, it doesn't sound like what i will do. But believe it or not, i do that often. hahaha. i regret many things that i have done in the past and currently. i blame myself for not having the courage to confront, to question. As i mentioned, i am currently contended with my life already. I'm so afraid that any wrong move will make me lose things from what i have now. Harmony. Something that's so near yet so far. It seem to be an aim that's so difficult to reach for. I envy ppl having this having that but yet i don't look at what i have. Only when that thing is taken out of your life then you will realise how much you depended on it and how important it is in your life. tsk.

纸是包不住火的。　It's a simple logic. Nights ppl!～


ｍｅｓｓｅｄ　ｕｐ　ｐｉｃｔｕｒｅｓ．