What am I doing?

When things don't go according to plan, it's almost human instinct to find someone to blame.

Usually, I'll go, "Pris, what have you just done?"

This time, I almost went, "God, what are You doing?"

It's always after a great time hanging out with God, things happen. And right now, I'm a little confused. I dont know what I've done wrong. But, things aren't as rosy as I like them to be.

I'm tempted to throw a tantrum, but that isn't the most mature thing to do, I figured.

God promises all good for those who love Him. I just don't know what He's doing, though.

Thoughts, unkind words and worries are running through my head. I kept going "God, this isn't how things are meant to look like. It was fine before."

After almost 24 hours of God moments, I'm facing a test to see whether I've stepped up a notch to where I am 1.5 years ago. And it's at this time, I feel like I need support, to keep cheering me on.

God is good all time. All the time, God is good.

God moments

Imagine the occasional chuckles God would have watching us from above.

I bet God has more than occasional chuckles when He watches me. It's the "I told you that I've got your world in My hands. Why do you insist to carry your own burden when I've lifted it off your back?"

It's the God moments that happened within 72 hours that reminded me that God has been right the whole time.

#1. Pastor Nicholas briefly mentioned, "if someone's foot got healed, could God heal the knee, hip and open a blind eye?" At the youth conference, I prayed for a lady with a bad knee and hip. The first lady I saw who needed physical healing was a blind lady. So.... *gulp*

#2. Pastor Banning Liebscher spoke at Planet Shakers that night about thriving in the season, especially when it's a hard one. Choosing to thrive despite frustrating phases separates people from the rest. God decided to activate the laughing spirit in me - it was awesome in itself :)

#3. Found Voice of the Martyrs website while reading 'Jesus Freaks' by DC Talk. Constantly encouraged by the voice of the martyrs.

#4. During my walk today, I decided to stop worrying/whining and fully surrender a few issues to the Lord. "God, I don't want to worry anymore. It's Yours. You want my world in Your hands? Here, take my imperfect, annoying world".

That night itself, my prayer was answered. My first thought was, "I worried about this for almost 3 years. I finally mustered up my guts to let it out of my grasp and God answers within 5 hours?? Why didn't I do this sooner?!"

Okay God, You got my attention. I was wrong to worry and take matters in my own hands - I've learnt that now. *sighs* I'll try to learn things a little faster next time, haha!