3 DAYS

Friday 31st Oct '08
22:23 hours
Home

There's so much to give thanks for. In this period of mug mug, you discover the people who love you the most and you find out who are just so obsessed about themselves. No harm intended to anyone, but I think that there are so many people I have to thank. So this post would be a little shout-out!

* drum roll

SHEENA aka my Love: Thanks for always being there. Seriously, I know some things I say can annoy you to your maximum but you never fail to be there to listen to me and give me advice. Sometimes I'm really a pain in the ass but you still never fail to encourage me and have so much confidence and faith in me. The little things you do really touches my heart and I really like to be that small lil' kid with you around. Hahaha! Thanks for taking time to study with me though I know studying with me is the worst, most unproductive and most distracting time of your studying period. Thanks for bearing with my shit and making life so much more beautiful for me by sticking with me so closely. I can't express how much I appreciate you but I do, really. I'd bake a million cakes for you, select a thousand dresses for you to have you by my side for the rest of my life. :D Thanks for being such an awesome and cute (like me) and sweet (like me) and tofu-y and everything okay. Thanks for being a part of my JC life. You're just sooooo awesome. More swim after A's! I LOVE YOU. * grins

Qin Yi: Thanks for always being there for me even though you're busy and stuff. I know sometimes the things I do, the things I think about and everything else would piss you off real bad, but you'll still forgive me and be nice to me and all. Thanks for being such a fantabulous friend! More Mensa in future! After A's we'll meet more often! 

Gabriel: My studying buddy and ah bang. You're the coolest dude, the one who always boosts my ego with all the random silly questions you don't know. Thanks for consulting me and loving my cooking when it sucks because you really make me feel good about myself. Haha! But yeah, thanks for your constant faith and support for me. Love you dude!

Alicia: Studying with me is not productive because I talk more than I do anything else. But thanks for always asking me to study and motivating me to study. Thanks for confiding in me and letting me do the same. :D Love you girl! *psst, I'll... ***s you soon. HAHAHA.

My Fan Club: Thanks for your support guys! :D 

Jodan: You've been that mature being that always give me advices that sound like.. "I've been through these before, I understand." and I really really appreciate that! You're probably the best friend I have that is so much (okay, I know it makes you feel old.) older than me! Haha. I look forward to the ride sessions with you and the Joyriders soon. Can't wait! 

Desmond: That dude who have been supporting and encouraging me the past few months amidst the prelims and all. The one who never fails to keep me going and all. Thanks dude! Training starts soon, no? :D

My Triathlon Gear: You guys tempt me every second I see you. But give me 14 more days, we'll live happily ever after together.

Everyone else: Thanks for the occassional jia-yous I get from you guys! 

Okay, I think these are the main people that are in my life now. :D 

Tomorrow is OSIM corporate triathlon. I'm participating because Lynette isn't feeling well and if she can't find her replacement (I'm her only hope), she'll do it despite the doctor telling her not to. Like an angel I've always been, I've decided to help. : ) No harm really. I'll just be slow though. Push myself a bit more! :D

Good night, world.

Time Check: 01:52 hours

I'm wide awake and I'm craving for bee hoon. Economical or vegetarian. I'm not picky.

Argh, eyes please close now.

3 Days!

Friday 31st Oct '08
00:36 hours
On my Bed

I have a love-hate relationship with cappucino now because after a venti at Starbucks in the AFTERNOON, my eyes aren't budging. I'm tired, I want to sleep but my eyes don't want to. Argh.

3 more days to dooms day. I think I said something like that 2 years back when I was taking my O's. The difference is, this time I'm very very serious. Haha.

I'm opening my house to anyone who wants to come over to stay from 9th to 12th because Mom would be in Japan from 6th, and brother's going for his pilot training program on 9th. So it's left with Shane and I. Pretty darn cool huh. Mom was telling Shane over dinner just now (in which I had TWO DAMN HUGE plates of fried rice that Mom asked me not to be so scary. Lol.) how when Brother and her are away that he has to take care of me because I'm having my A's. Shane was being whiney because he says he's becoming house husband material. Lol, super funny. She was like asking him to TAKE CARE OF ME?! Super weird because evidently, I'm the one who is going to buy dinner when he evolves into his vegetable state. HAHA. INSIDE JOKE. LOL.

Gabriel and I have been spending everyday together. HAHA. Hm, today we were screaming at each other, trying to bring each other's morale down, prick each other's ego and totally attempting to flatten each other. I was telling him how we must be the happiest people around that's studying for A's but still feeling very happy that we don't know so much. Haha! But honestly, reverse psychology works for us. I'm starting to believe I'm really very very very bright. I'm a smart kid who needs to stop being complacent and accept that I'm a Singaporean. Singaporeans slog. :/

I was talking to this lady, whom I believe is in her mid 40s at Starbucks. A random chat while Gabriel was at the toilet. I was telling her how Singaporeans are being pushed to their limits and how it's all about paper chasing now. How kids nowadays don't have a life anymore. - sigh The more we talked, the more I'm convinced we live sad lives. She graduated from a junior college by the way. Catholic Junior College for that matter. Haha. But she stopped her education there and went into her career. Not sure what she's doing but I can see she's doing pretty well. :) She said she regretted going to a JC and how poly would have suited her so much better. I can't help but agree with her.

Like I've mentioned to many recently, given a choice, I would still take the JC route two years back. I don't mind wasting these 2 years. No, not wasting, more of like using these two years to think about what I really want in the future. I cannot imagine how gloomy my life would be if I had enrolled in HTM course two years back. I'd have regretted it alot. So this JC route have helped in sorting out my thoughts, shown me what I want and most importantly, I've learnt so much. And that's all that matters to me about life, learning new things. :)

Tough two years though. Really tough. But it has made me stronger and tougher. I have more control over myself now, my emotions, my mind.. I've made great friends, awesome people who I foresee will go a long way with me in life.

So what's wrong with retaking A's you tell me, if it would mean a better life 10 years down? It's not wasting time. It wouldn't be called a waste if I can do much better. It's called a second chance. Second chances don't come easy. I paid a price, I 'wasted' two years. But it's all part of life isn't it? People make mistakes. And this is one mistake that have a pretty huge price to pay. 2 years went by without me knowing. Well, this is life. :)

I know all these. But I need people like Mom to understand this- that people make mistakes. I cannot imagine the disappointment in her when I do badly. I don't want to disappoint her but there's really nothing I can do now. :/ Sorry Mom.

My fingers are tired from all the typing on my phone. Haha, but my eyes are still wide open. Gees.

Oh, and you know what I'm most sorry about? I'm most sorry for how I assured Mom that I knew what I was doing and how I'm SHERN and I could do whatever I want if I tell myself so.

I learnt something. I'm not as powerful as I think I am. But I strive to be. I'll be that powerful one day, believe me.

I should off the lights and try to sleep. I've got to be up in 7 hours and 25 minutes. Studying with my Love at Suntec tomorrow. New place Gab and I discovered yesterday. Hur hur. :D

And I miss someone. Haha. I shouldn't be, but I am. Ah well.

I miss the food at Mensa already. HAHA. Time for breakfast, no? :P

2 more weeks. GOSH. SO FRIGGIN FAST.

My trip is confirmed by the way. 15th Nov till 18th Nov. By hook or by crook, I'm going to burn the tarmac of Malacca. Tough shit, but I'm Shern yo.

I'm cold. Better off the fan.

My complexion is failing. Dangs.

I'm meeting Matthew and Joe on Saturday for breakfast before OSIM. PowerMan in about two weeks, very very envious. I still can't believe Matthew is going for Powerman amidst his exams. To think I was slightly tempted by the idea of doing it and then coming back to Singapore for Econs the next day. Man! Haha.

But boo to the knees. :( no running for awhile. I should rent out my 2130s because it's a waste to keep those lovely lovely gears at home. They should be fully utilised and I'm obviously not giving them the attention they deserve.

Meeting my secret admirer on saturday before church. Heh heh. Wanted to meet her AT church but decided against going since Ervin is coming over to pass me the suit and cash and Rachael's birthday chalet is in the evening. Oh well, busy woman huh. I shouldn't even be so busy. Lol. So essentially, I'm meeting 5 people on sat. Joe and Matt in the morning, secret admirer after, then there's Ervin, then Rach. Cool stuff. :)

Okay, I'm really going to try and sleep. My fingers are cramping. :P happy HALLOWEEN. No partying, no riding, I'm spending my night with either stats or.. Ionic Equilibrium. :)

Brrr. Still cold. Rawrr.

PS: This is a rambling post. Tons of fragmented sentences and random thoughts. Obviously an entry unplanned for, but yeah. Bear with it yeah! Haha. I'm starting to feel hungry. Haha!

I miss YOU luh. D: tell me you know that.

4 DAYS.

Thursday 30th Oct '08
18:24 hours
East Point Starbucks

I didn't see much last night. I just kept thinking about A's and how screwed things are going to get. I know it isn't the time to get all sucky and stuff but some things can't be helped. :)

Kai Ping dropped by in the morning, to pay a visit to Kyub. Haha. We left the house together, with me going to meet Qin Yi for lunch at TP. Roamed around the school for awhile after a sumptuous meal at Mensa, then left to come here to meet Gabriel. For a reason I have yet to find out, Qin Yi thinks it's gay to study with Gabriel. Big laughs. :)

I've been doing statistics since 2 plus pm and I haven't exactly stopped except for the occasional breaks to the toilet. I'm beginning to discover the magic of Starbucks and I seriously don't mind paying 7 for a cup of coffee to keep me going for the day. Coupled with good ambience and excellent scenery (HAHA), it's worth it. So it's back here tomorrow. :D

It's going to be another two weeks of spending cash on over-rated coffee. It's the lifestyle I'm paying for, not the coffee by the way. :) after that, it's going to be LOVELY. Money spent on clothes and stuff. No more insomnia, late nights of thoughts because it's going to be back to having a life. Boy am I looking forward. :D

I'm getting back to work. I think I should get a starbucks tumbler. Haha. No pretty ones now though. I like the tall and slim one Chuck has but it's no longer available. Okay okay, back to work. I don't have much time really.

GOODBYE WORLD.

5 Days!

Wednesday 29th Oct '08
22:45 hours
Home

It's amazing how time flies. I know how I've been saying I can't be bothered, but when it comes closer, it scares the shit out of me. Haha.

I JUST MADE A BET WITH VEGEBOY (that's my new nickname for SHANE LIM, my brother :D). If I don't get down to 47 kg by 28.12.2008, I'm going to give him 100 bucks. Okay, I know I so can do this. It's 1.25 kg per week starting this week, but since I screwed up this week really badly, I'm going to have to lose like 2kg per week from next week, but still, I think it's manageable. Which means from tomorrow, I should start exercising. I'm going to forget about shopping and whatever movie shit that's helping me to relieve stress now and I'm going to start riding and swimming. Soon. Maybe swimming first. :D so yeah, look forward to seeing a very very very hot me by 28.12.2008. HAHAHAHA. Because it's easy, it's so easy to lose weight, trust me. :D I'll do a weekly review so that you guys will be convinced that it's easy. Probably the next two weeks a little hard to lose like 2 kg per week but the subsequent weeks (AFTER A'S!) will be okay. Come on man, BRING IT ON SHANE LIM. :D It's going to be gymming time, training time like forever for a month. And no, the christmas season do not deter me. COME ON MAN. Anyway, I'm not comfortable with my size now BECAUSE I FEEL DAMN WARM ALL THE TIME. Hahahahah! Not that being fat is bad, it's just very torturous in Singapore.

I studied today. Like, proteins. I did proteins for the entire day and I thrashed loser Gabriel in Inorganic Chemistry which makes me feel damn awesome and powerful. Okay, the ego is building up. HAHAHAHA. So I'm going to read up on statistics tomorrow because I want to do Stats tomorrow and feel awesome and powerful. I shall swim tomorrow morning. HAHAHA. YAY. Considering I had pasta, baked rice and a BK meal today, it's really a hell loada junk. I wished I had strong knees so I can go running. Running is so much easier. And I think I want to ride on Halloween night since I'm not going to club or Night Safari for partys. I'll be slow, but well, haha. Better than nothing. I'm still doing the Malacca ride by the way. I'm pleading with Raja to let me go and I can just be the best man of the sweeper. :D

I'm feeling so hyped up now. Must be the caffeine at Starbucks. Bloody 6 bucks coffee.

We went shopping just now (when I could very well be riding to West Coast) and I saw so many nice clothes. So Gabriel and I were trying to plan out some shit diet so that we can save and we were thinking about peanut butter sandwiches. HAHAHA. 3 meals of PBS. Super cool. But obviously, I won't do that. HAHA. I want to buy new clothes. January I shall be a teacher and I'm going to earn good money. NO AUSSIE BY THE WAY. I'm staying in Singapore. HAHAHA. COS MUM DISAPPROVE. That's my only obstacle by the way, and yeah, no means no. I'm staying out of university till i get enough to fund my first year. YAY.

I WANT NEW CLOTHES. I LOVE MY NEW HAIR SO I JUST NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT AND NEW CLOTHES. (maybe new bike?)

Then I'll go have tons of fun by the seaside or something. YAY.

I'm so damn excited.

Wednesday 29th Oct 08
11:56 hours
My Bed

There's a reason why I should go to school or to the airport with my love. Because I'm at neither places, I'm still in bed at noon.

Something about me is, I'm stubborn and strong-headed. You tell me that there's still hope, I tell you there isn't. And when I say there isn't, I MEANT THERE ISN'T. So, should I kill myself now, or what?

I wonder how I got so pessimistic about stuff. I guess I'm on my own now, when I decided not to go to school this morning to get help. Haha, I'm on my own now. :)

I can do this. *peeps at my to-do list. YES, I CAN DO THIS.

TO-DO LIST AFTER A'S

(IT'S JUST 16 DAYS MORE. 16 FRIGGIN' DAYS. MAMA MIA!)

K-BOX K-BOX K-BOX K-BOX K-BOX.
GET AWAY! OUT OF SINGAPORE.
TRAINING AND TONS AND TONS AND TONS OF TRAINING :DDDDD
-> LOSE TONS OF WEIGHT. :DDDDDD
MAKE LOTS OF MONEY.
COOK FOR ALL MY FRIENDS MANY TIMES.
GO FOR GOOD FOOD WITH MY LOVE.
MEET UP WITH THE LONG-TIME-NEVER-MEET FRIENDS.
CHUCK, TECK YEOW.
BASKETBALL! (not playing is a total waste of my talent :P)
CHALETS CHALETS CHALETS.
TRAIN SOMEMORE!
LOSE SOMEMORE WEIGHT.
BECOME THE MOST CUTE THING ON EARTH.
GO CLUBBING AND GET SOME...... xD (LOVE, FILL IN THE BLANKS. * GRINS)
TRAIN SOMEMORE.
AND LOSE MORE WEIGHT.
AND BECOME EVEN CUTER.
AND GET YOU OFF MY MIND.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I THINK I CAN TOTALLY SWIM BIKE RUN DAY AND NIGHT AND DAY AND NIGHT.

OMG I AM DAMN EXCITED. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG.
*HYPERVENTILATES

I TOTALLY LIKE SEEING THIS LIST.

Tuesday 28th Oct '08
22:00 hours
Home

You can never imagine how bored two people at the airport can get to suddenly decide to head down to TM to catch a movie. That's exactly what my Love and I did. We catched HSM3! And it's really quite good. Troy is hot, so is Gabriella and the rest of the cast. Hahaha, good cast really. It's like Harry Potter. Haha! If you're wondering where's the link here, it's because I watched Harry Potter on HBO last night from 1 plus till 3 plus AM. :D OH YEAH, Love cried during the show and that really got me speechless. It's HSM! IT'S A HAPPY SHOW and SHE HAD TO CRY. Gosh. How bimbotic can this girl get. Haha! :P

After the show, it dawned upon me that maybe, I shouldn't go away. Okay, I'm fickle. But looking at how Troy made the decision to go to some lousy school because of Gabriella, it really hit me, pretty hard. I mean, there's always alternatives huh. * shrugs.

Hmmmm... Too much thoughts, too much thoughts.

Tuesday 28th Oct '08
16:14 hours
T1

Breathe, without you but I have to. :)

I'm at the airport now. Just had tons of junk and my throat is killing and my brain is killing and I'm tired and bored.

And I know it's never simple never easy.

Well well, nice songs I'm introduced to today. Thank you Love. Haha.

And I miss you, and I would give anything to see you now. Haha. Funny huh.

Oh, and I don't look like an onion today. I have flat hair today. :D and Love says I'm cute (not in this context though). HAHA. I'm cute please. :D what's wrong with short cute hair! >:( lol.

Back to work!

Monday 27th Oct '08

23:11 hours

Home

I think, I want a Class 2 license. 

But I won't have any pillions. HAHA.

Okay, random. But having a bike is just pretty cool.

Ah, we'll see how.

I hope Aussieland takes me in. BLOODY SHIT.

Monday 27th Oct '08

22:55 hours

Home

Tell me, what's the problem now. Gees.

I do not have issues, it's just plain annoying. Man!

Okay okay, I've taken a chill pill, very chilled.

I must have eaten at least 400g of pasta today. No kidding. :D Then I had a serving of rice, and awfully chocolate cake, and biscuits so that makes today pretty sinful too. Hahaha, whatever. 

Studying today was bad. I mean, it has always been. I'm praying for apocalypse to come before A's start or hm, Jesus can come back too. I don't mind going to hell really. So please, come back.

I'm so tired and I'm talking rubbish and I'm filled with angst.

I should go to sleep and wake up feeling happier.

Wait, I'm happy enough.

Cheers to a better tomorrow.

Good night world.

7 Days.

Monday 27th Oct '08
10:22 hours
Home

You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations.
Because the expected is just what keeps us steady, standing, still.
The expected is just the beginning.
The unexpected is what changes our lives.

At the end of the day,
there are some things you just can't help but talk about.
Some things we just don't want to hear,
and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer.
Some things are more than what you say,
they're what you do.
Some things you say cause there's no other choice.
Some things you keep to yourself.
And not too often, but every now and then,
some things simply speak for themselves.

If there's just one piece of advice i can give you,
it's this - when there's something you really want,
fight for it,
don't give up no matter how hopeless it seems.
And when you've lost hope,
ask yourself if 10 years from now,
you're gonna wish you gave it just one more shot.
because the best things in life, they don't come free.

Change; we don’t like it, we fear it,
but we can't stop it from coming.
We either adapt to change or we get left behind.
And it hurts to grow,
anybody who tells you it doesn’t is lying.
But here's the truth... the more things change,
the more they stay the same.
And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good.
Oh, sometimes, change is... everything.

There's a reason why everyone love Grey's. :)

Sunday 26th Oct '08
18:06 hours
Home

Joined by love,
separated by fear,
redeemed by hope.

:)

Sunday 26th Oct '08
17:21 hours
Home

I've downloaded the application form for my foundation year. Term starts in May 2009 but who cares, I'm going straight after Chinese New Year. :D You know what's the tricky part here? I suck at my calculations and if I screw it up, I might not be able to fund for it. Hahhaa, so yeah, I need a loan. A HUGE sum of money to cover me for 5 years over there and that includes my food and hm, tuition fees. Maybe if I do DAMNNNNN well for my foundation year, they might grant me scholarships so that I won't have to worry for four years. I'll have to do more research after A's. And I don't even know why I'm taking my A's. -.- Bloody.

I spent my whole afternoon sleeping. Came back after driving, which was super fun because I was driving like I know my shit well. :D My instructor didn't even say anything today and we were like chatting and chatting so yeah, I think I'm an awesome driver. Though I still feel quite retarded doing u-turns but who cares. OH, and I learnt how to start the engine today, something I didn't know before. Hahaha, I know I'm retarded and my instructor was laughing a little but I guess everyone goes through that phase. :)

And I had weird dreams again. Bahhh.

I slept so much I NEED to study overnight today to repend for my sin. No wait, today's Sunday. Sunday's Sabbath. No one studies or do any work on Sabbath. hahaha!

I'm heading to Little India soon. Hohoho. Not for Deepavali, because evidently, I don't celebrate that, but for buffet dinner! Rachael, my cousin's, 21st birthday dinner and I was told to dress nice nice. That's very hard really. And I have nice hair, but I have lousy wax at home so it won't be nice and I'm sad about that. Hahaha. ROUND FACE LEH. :D

From tomorrow onwards, I'm going on a diet. It's going to be for Singapore Marathon. I need to be able to run. And I hope Singapore Marathon gives me enough motivation to eat less. HAHAHA.

Good bye world. I love all you guys.

Sunday 26th Oct '08
02:16 hours
Home

It's funny how people can get so emotional sometimes. :D

Oh well, today is a good day because I got my hair cut (HAHHAA!) which really makes me look damn cute. Some girl from Chia Min's caregroup commented that I look sec 3/4. That's like what, 3 years younger! DAMN. Awesome. HAHAHA. I don't mind looking young really. Young and awesome. That's me.

So after my hair cut, I went down to town to meet Gabriel, to which I was late for. Sorry man! Went for service and hm, I've got to say I pretty much enjoyed the sermon and the praise. Missed the altar call though. Then we hung around. Said hi to the usuals at Isle Cafe and I went to eat the korean food at Le Meridien.

Oh yes! DURING service, some usher tapped my shoulder...

Usher: Hey, some girl asked me to pass this to you - reaches out a box of Pocky
Me: Huh?!?!?!! Who?
Usher: I don't know, some girl from the East?
Me: o.0

I swear I have some secret admirers. :P I mean, what's new really. HAHAHA. But yeah, figured out who it was from later. :D Apparently when I go back to church, people recognises it and I find it pretty, sweet. x)

So yeah, after we had dinner, we proceeded to Plaza Singapura's Starbucks to mug. Very noisy, very distracting but I managed to finish one chapter of geography which really isn't thattttt bad. Gabriel left early, because he was tired. And since Chia Ling didn't have keys home, she couldn't head home early and that resulted in her, having to stay out till her parents get back. (This is a run-on sentence. BAD) Thus, being the ever-so-nice me, I stayed with her till her mum called. And guess what, I'm left to go home alone.

Not always an option for me, so I decided to roam around, in hope to see familiar faces on the streets so that at least someone would head home with me. Saw Magdalene at the traffic light, who asked if I want to join them for dinner. Thought about it for a minute and rejected her (oh, that was when I saw the girl who said I look sec 3/4-ish *grins), and asked if she could get me along to go back with them. I could do with some company really.

So roamed awhile longer and the boredom utterly utterly killed me. So I walked back to PS area, boarded the next 65 that came by. My Love called me and talked awhile with me on my journey back before I got sleepy and she hung up too because of her bill. :) Thanks dear! Slept the whole way back.

So hm, I got home and ate tons of rubbish. Ellison came by and we watched Atonement together. Just had my second round of supper.

Driving tomorrow morning, ah, totally draining. Sheesh.

And I'm dying to have late night calls. Damn.

Good night world.

Sunday 26th Oct '08
01:05 hours
Home

Find you, love you, marry you and live without shame. :)

When you love someone so much till the point when you don't have to tell him/her how you feel for him/her to know how you feel about him/her, you know that you are in love with him/her. :)

And it isn't the nicest feeling on earth sometimes. I guess?

It can hurt real bad sometimes, but I guess it'll be alright soon. It's a short term pain for a long term gain. Come on!

Moreover, I'll be heading to Aussie in days I can count of my fingers. Haha.. :)

All talk, no actions.

I can do this. I know I can do this better than anyone else, because my name is Shern.

And I have to say this again, I love you.

Good night, world.

Saturday 25 Oct '08
11:30 hours
Home

You know, some things in life, no matter how hard you try fighting for it, you wouldn't get it. Even if you give your heart and soul to it, you wouldn't even come close. In such instances, do you give up,

or do you keep fighting?

That aside, hahah. Sorry love, fell asleep while talking to you on msn. I was totally tired from all that booze. Haha! Just got up, that means I had about 11 hours of sleep. Man, incredible. Haha.

I think Rui Lin's going to church today, so I'll be seeing him at starbucks after church. Weird, I know. Hahaha. But who cares huh. 

Darn HSM 3. Why are the tickets $10 bucks each! God. 

Roasted chicken sandwich and strawberry yoghurt. Divine brunch. I just lack the company. Haha :D Come to think of it, I really miss Cedele. I hate the Gigue sandwich at Tosto because it was supposed to be ROASTED VEGES but now, they changed it to just ROASTED PEPPERS and that sucks I swear. I rather have roasted pumpkins or roasted... eggplants. Yeah. Peppers alone are horrid. Eeeew. The sundried-tomatoes mayonnaise aren't REALLY helping too you know.

I'm cutting my hair after A's! I figured I should allow my ugly hair to grow a little longer before I could do something more magical to it. Plus, hopefully by the time I want to cut my hair, I'm a little slimmer so I could cut something cooler because that's always the case for the kind of hair I want to cut. :D So yeah. Looking forward totally!

I'm bored. Uh-oh. 

Tonight is the night.
Goodbye.

Friday 24th Oct '08
01:37 hours
Home

Today is a good day. Studying was bad but that's not the point. :D

Met Alicia at the airport, together with her friend Afi. Studied a little. Then I got restless and we talked a bit, ate a bit, slack a bit. Very interesting. :D Then Rui Lin came to join us, together with Edwin, who is Alicia's boyfriend. Then we went for dinner. Hahaha.

I headed to town, to meet my love. Had a lot of shit food. HAHA. As in, unhealthy and bad. Not, not nice food. It's Sheena's sister-in-law's birthday and I managed to meet the highly acclaimed SAC. :D So yeah, they paid for my drink and I got a share of the birthday cake and some buffalo wings. Oh yes, the place we went was TIMBRE. :D

So Rui Lin came shortly after to join us. I got another drink and yeah, we just chilled and slack and talked. I swear I almost cried while ranting. I never imagined it could actually hurt so much. :\ We went to Lau Par Sat after we finished our drinks and I had satays, Cheng Tng and kaya toast. Hahaha! Quite fun.

Dad came to pick us up and he is probably on the way to send my love home.

I hope everyone had fun today because that is what life is about.

I love you guys.

Tomorrow there's going to be a party at my place so I'm actually very looking forward to it.

Good night world.

I swore tonight.

Thursday 23rd Oct '08
10:53 hours
Home

First up, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN! :D A very dear friend back in Chung Cheng days. If you can catch the heart of my Mom, I'll basically see you very often over at my place and this boy is one helluva dude who is totally totally capable of making my Mom happy. Hahaha! But yeah, that was the good ol' days. Things change. :)

I'm supposed to be out and mugging now, because that's what everyone is supposed to do. I'm thinking of heading down to town today to study but hm, it seems now that I might have a change of plans because I'm really pretty moody because of the weather. Timbre tonight though! That's something to be glad about, yet.. the thought of spending quite a bit is making me pretty... urgh. Hahaha, why can't booze be cheap. :\

I had wanted to cut my hair today but I figured given the thinly layered and my round face now, there's hardly any thing that the stylist can do so I say, wait for the next few months when I get some training done up and start hitting the gym and tone up, THEN the evolution comes in. :B Ah, exciting exciting.

Stupid Gabriel, obviously still sleeping. That dude is damn lazy. HAHAHA. Fancy me talking bad about him here. What a good friend I am, really. Should I head down to airport instead SINCE I'm not going to cut my hair and there's no point heading to town so early 'cos I did get all bored and restless and might resort to shopping to make me happy. Ha! I mean, I'm not exactly very rich now but I do have some cash that I can spend. :)

It's Thursday already, please freak out with me.

And I hate that my mind is.... Ah, screw this.

Well, good bye world.

PS: I love Teck Yeow, alot. Thank you sir for your utmost support and your amazing amazing ability to make me feel like a retard. Yes, I'm doing something about it. :B

I think it's time I grow up and stop being so childish.
Like, why the heck are such things still affecting me?
I'm Shern.
Dude, listen, I'm Shern. :)

I'm losing my cool, yes.
I'm about to explode.
These things are coming too quickly.
Not now please.

Wednesday 22th Oct '08
12:45 hours
Home

I spent 11.5 hours on the bed. It's way too much I know, but I was just so reluctant to get up. Still feeling slightly defeated, but well, I'm okay. I mean, I ought to be right, I'm SHERN dude! Now, I'm too tired (from sleeping too much) that I'd rather be still on my bed. Haha, I know I'm horrid. And I swear I have the weirdest dreams when I'm upset. LOL. Weird, but interesting, yet untrue. I mean, it's sooooo weird it has got to be untrue. But even in my dreams, I was upset. Oh people, do you feel my pain? Haha! I'm okay, SERIOUSLY. :B

There's a training ride tonight and I'm contemplating. Maybe not huh. ):

I want to do a feast. Like, who wants to come for my feast. Probably a day before A's or something. Or maybe a halloween party. OH YES, I can you know, have a halloween party at home. It'll be a night of fun and good food, courtesy of the one and only great chef, me. :) Oh, so awesome, I'd start planning later and weigh the pros and cons, with the biggest con being money. :D

My brother has skipped three days of school in a row and I think he is wayyyyy cool. Haha.

And I'm trying to persuade Mr Tay to come over to my place because I obviously still need some tender loving care to heal my broken heart. Haha, just a little bit more, then I'd be healed. :D Be nice, Mr Tay. Though I know you won't be reading this.

I can just go rambling on and on and on and on in this entry because I'm bored. Oh yes, from tonight, I'm going to have early nights to get myself prepared. Then I'll try my best getting up at 7 plus and get papers done at 8am. Good planning good planning, please execute it though.

I'm still feeling crushed, stupid emo songs.

PS: PEOPLE, PLEASE REPLY MY MESSAGES WHEN I TEXT YOU. DANG.

i was hoping you'd call.

I'm zonking out. Tonight just feels funny and different. Well, good night people. :)

Wednesday 22th Oct '08

00:57 hours

Home

Today isn't a good day. In fact it's a sucky one. I've never felt so sucky in my life, ever. And the only person I want to see now is at work. She's finishing work in like 3 mins but I bet a million pounds she isn't going to call. If only she knew something isn't right. Oh God, how sucky can this get. But well, watch me man, I'm going to start my evolution 'cos I'm severly crushed. Bloody hell.

Ah, sad stuff aside. I managed to meet up with Alicia and Rui Lin to study catch up. Super fun, talked about a whole load of shit about the people we know, about school and yeah, just random shit. Had tons of food today, and it's pretty horrid because haha, I'm damn fun now. Dim Sum party at 12am just now. WTH. I had like a few baos, tons of siew mais and har gows. Dang. 

I went to town today. Got a new pair of shoes. Threw away my favourite pair of shoes that has stuck with me for years. Hahaha. Oh well, old don't go, new don't come.

I'm bloody tired but I'm still waiting. 

Wonder where this leads me huh.

Good night, world.

Tuesday 21st Oct '08

09:37 hours

Home

I think I'm getting addicted to the late night phone calls. Heh heh. :B Awesome sweetness. Lovin' this. We hung up at 3 am last night and I must be stoning and thinking for at least an hour before I could fall asleep. Tsk tsk, I know. But, :D

Today is probably a cooler day than any other days because I'll be studying with Rui Lin and Alicia instead of my love. Haha, poor girl, going to do one day without me. HAHA. So I'll be meeting the dudes soon and I'm going to be a very artsy girl today and do Econs and Geog. Going to take a break from the sciences because it's you know, like not improving. It's a little like triathlon training. When you become stagnant, you take a short break and performance might improve. Okay, I know this analogy is retarded. :P

I had a brief weight training this morning with the dumb-bells I have at home. I don't even feel anything because it's so brief and any Tom, Dick and Harry can do what I did. 

Alright, gotta run. Shall see that dude first, the babe's coming much later. Haha.

Good bye, world.

PS: The next time you come, 2 course, alright! :D and please don't don't reply me. Damn annoying. HAHA.

Monday 20th Oct '08

21:30 hours

Home

Taken from a real life conversation between two brothers.

"Run him down, run him down!"

"Take the gun, take the gun. Shoot him!"

"This would be more fun with the molotov cocktail."

I swear games nowadays are bad influences.

Monday 20th Oct '08

21:11 hours

Home

Today is the most unproductive day so far. I wonder if it's the carried over lethargy or is it just my reluctance to study that I'm getting all these yawns and the 'I'm tired' feel. Or is it just the smses that are so hard to not reply. HAHA. Okay shit. No, I think it was the identification exercise that Sheena gave that totally crushed my ego. My ego is relatively big mind you. 

I'm looking forward to Timbre on Thursday. A night of awesome music, great company and the booze. Okay, I don't usually drink. I can't drink. My alcohol tolerance suck like anything. I can't get drunk with a few sips of Lime Magarita. A few sips, I swear. 

I'M SUPER BORED. And this particular person keeps saying I look cheena and commented further that I look like a kid. Like what the heck really. I don't think I look cheena. I'm chinese, I look chinese, not cheena. And I don't think looking young is bad, but when some people say it, it just makes me feel sad. Haha!

And my hair is long. I want to cut it, like NOW. 

And my face is round. I want it to slim down like NOW.

And my waist is gone. I want it back like NOW. 

Okay whatever, I just had a few bars of chocolate and I can anticipate a pimple outbreak tomorrow. Shucks. Where is the discipline and self-control woman.

I need some motivation. Some hardcore motivation. Like if no straight As for A's, no swim bike run after. 

Like who will enforce such a rule please. I'm the king of my world. HAHA.

I'm talking rubbish already.

Good bye world. 

PS: I just want to study when I feel like it.

Monday 20th Oct '08

08:15 hours 

Home

The date scares me by the way. It's 20 now and A's are so friggin' near it's scary. 14 days. 11 days to Halloween! :D 

I woke up at 3am, went to bathe and went to sleep. I felt sticky and warm because it was warm. LOL. So yeah, I'm a weirdo. I was ordered to sleep at 11.30pm last night. Hahaha. :) So I did. Didn't study yesterday. Gosh.

My knees are still painful and I have aches at funny places. 

It's an airport day today, and tonight two wonderful ladies will be coming over to my place for dinner. A simple one though, because I don't have time to prepare! Haha, Grocery shopping before heading home later. How fun. 

Good bye people! :D

PS: I'm off to school.

Sunday 19th Oct '08

20:29 hours

Home

Today marks the day of a breakthrough. I'm still super impressed by how I could finish 15 km. I just wanted to keep going to complete the race. But I must say it got so boring I had to talk on the phone. Hahaha! The race was good I think. The route was not too bad but it was so hot I could feel my feet burning. And I have this hugggeeee blister on my left big toe now it's so annoying. Hahaha. Sub 2 hour timing, so I'm actually quite happy with it! Plus, I DIDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT AT ALL so I thought it was really quite an achievement. The knees are killing though. Real bad. Real real bad. It's painful till now. - sigh. Looking to Standard Chartered with great enthusiasm. :) 

I'm so tired. And my complexion is bad. And I'm fat and ugly. LOL.

I'm kidding.

zzzzz. I'm tired. So good bye. 

Saturday 18th Oct '08

12:15 hours

Home

Today is a good day. Not entirely productive but it's good. And I found a new love. A new song that TOTALLY describes what my heart is feeling. Painful to hear really. Sigh.

I went to see God today, but He didn't want to see me. So yeah.

Good night, world.

Friday 17th Oct '08

03:42 hours

Home

I know it's an unearthly hour to be awake. But yeah, I managed to clock a ride. I didn't go to the beach like I've intended to but instead, I made it to a dear friend's place. I must say, don't use a different route if you don't know the way because it's really not worth the time and effort especially at such an unearthly hour like this. Oh well, thank God for my wittiness, I still managed to reach Lorong Ah Soo in an hour. Haha. 

We talked a bit, went to people's blog and look at some people. I ate cookies she baked and brought home a packet for myself (thanks ya! :D nice nice~ Next time you shall try mine! Soon I PROMISE.). It's cool to do surprise visits. :D Now I wish I had brought something over, it would have been a bigger surprise. 

I have to be awake in approximately an hour to send someone off at the airport. Then I'll be staying there, so that you know, I don't have to come back and go again later in the day to study with my love. Haha, well, I think I'm going to die but who cares, Shern is a strong person who don't need a lot of sleep. Surviving on power naps! 

Hmmm, I'm thinking a lot these days. Way too much for a simple and ordinary girl like me. No, extraordinary, but still, I should be thinking so much. I want to make tons of money in the future and then move to a house by the sea side (obviously not in Singapore) and be with the one I love (oh, dream on.). I'm going to make this person very happy. 

I'm konking out. And I haven't bathed. Oh yes, I haven't rant about how slow I went just now. 25km/h. Average speed is OBVIOUSLY much lower. Man, I could do that with my market bike! Look at what A levels is doing to me. ): 

My new friend is not as bad as I thought. Heh heh, good progress good progress! Gambatte Shern! You can do this. :)

Hm, I'm tired. God, but the adrenaline is still pumping. I swear I couldn't go much further on DJ. Thank God I was just at Lorong Ah Soo instead of Long House or something. Haha!

I'm going to bathe now, then I'm going to read, and drift into dreamland.

I'm a lovely person and everybody loves me. 

Good night, world.

PS: I didn't do what was intended today. Suck. I suck.

Thursday 16th Oct '08

18:46 hours

Home

Today wasn't productive. The lovely weather tucked me into bed when I'm barely two hours into studying. But I learnt something new today, and you see, that's what all that is about. :) Feeling more intelligent by the minute is really an awesome feeling. "It's the process that matters, in the end, you want to look back and say you've enjoyed yourself in the process." Thanks friend. :) Mugging is fun and it's satisfying. I didn't say it isn't tough, but I enjoy it most of the time. I like it when I can get down to work and the momentum just picks up. It's a little like endorphins. Dig it? 

I've prepared dinner for the night, so all isn't that bad really. I'll get satisfied tummies in about half an hour's time and that would paint a smile on my face. Haha. 

Late night tonight to complete what I was tasked to. It's bad to be behind schedule and I would forsake my sleep to finish my to-dos for the day. I'm a changed person really. :) 

Ionic equilibrium was getting on my nerves though. I can't seem to understand the problems even though the answer scheme was right in front of me. Sigh. Consultations, I forsee. 

This entry is in such a random order. Gosh.

I'm intending to draft out a copy of my training plan for after A's and stick it on my cupboard or something so I'll see it everyday and tell myself, "now it's time to study, you can do all these later." Really looking forward to some hardcore training after A's though you know, my base might be missing by then and I might have to start all over again. And I'm looking forward to shrinking in size again. Oh man, how lovely.

Swim, bike, run! 

Oh yes! I'll be watching Nights at Rodanthe with the family today. It's so exciting because it's a show that we all will love. 

And I'm groggy again. I can't seem to stay awake on weather like this. I need to hide in the airport, so that I won't know the weather out there. THEN I can get work done. :) Oh well, intensive studying with the woman tomorrow at the airport. The thought of it is making me feel excited because we'll be Mr Bean-ing, Bengawan Solo-ing and all the other nonsense. Haha! Yes yes, it's unhealthy but let me indulge a little more alright! :X

And I UTTERLY UTTERLY UTTERLY -fades away in the echoes- detest people copying my style. I mean, why can't people stay original and just be themselves! Argh. I don't really have a style, yes but if people can say we look alike, I REALLY think there's an issue here. You weren't like that in the past so STOP COPYING ME. And for those out there who think she isn't copying me, shut up because you don't know anything. Urgh. And to this particular woman, please stop saying we're twins because we are so not. I'll really get mad at you someday and you do not want that to happen. Talking about this makes my blood boil. And Shane agrees with what I say, so that's really comforting. I love you, brother. :) 

Hm, so yeah. I'm still blogging because Mum isn't back yet. She's taking a wee bit too long really. :\ I'm not hungry but I just miss my cooking. Ha!

And I think I have found brown jacket. :D This is what I mean by if I want something, I would have no problem getting it. I'm amazing.

Okay, I'm getting sick of looking at the computer. 

Good bye, world.

This love is difficult but it is real. 

Thursday 16th Oct '08

12:23 hours

Home

I'm awake already! Good morning people! :) 

I'm feeling good today, all prepped up for the mug session. Focus focus! I'm here to do a checklist for my to-dos today so that tonight when I blog, I can strike off all that I've done and feel proud of myself. Come on man!

Checklist for TODAY:

> Maths Complex Numbers

> Chem Ionic Equilibrium

> Chem Group 2 &  Group 7

Those are the top priority for today. I'm hoping to include..

> Organic Chemistry

> Complete one maths paper 2 with the help of my notes

So there you have it! :D 

Is it something in those eyes,

or the way you speak.

Thursday 16th Oct '08

04:34 hours

Home

I'm drained, mentally and physically. I've been out since yesterday morning at about 8am. I've been out of my house for more than 20 hours and I think it's totally cool. Haha! 

Went for consultations at school in the morning, then had lunch with the girls in school. Talked a lot of nonsense and then Sheena and I left for the airport. I have to say yesterday was the most productive day ever probably because there wasn't distractions and I was facing the 'correct side'. My mind wasn't flooded with too many things and all I wanted to do was to mug. And I did just that. :) 

Pey Chyi was supposed to meet me at the airport for over night study but she was tired and lazy so we decided to go to West Mac instead. I smsed Chia Min to ask if she was free to drop by because Pey Chyi would only be down at 12am. And when I smsed her, I was already on my way down to Tampines. She replied that she was still at the airport and I got so pissed with myself. LOL. 

Stayed alone at West Mac for the next 2 hours, then the blackie (Chia Min who has became super dark, it's NOT NICE.) came and kept me company. Pey Chyi came much much much later (past 12 please!) then Chia Min left. We talked abit, studied ABIT and then we went to eat. OMG. I ate like 3 pratas, mee goreng shared with Pey Chyi and bits of prata BOM. I didn't know what the last item was so I just ordered and it's this sickeningly oily and gross prata that is SOAKED IN BUTTER AND SUGAR. Totally sick. I felt so sad for my money after I decided to abandon it and you know, just leave it there. Before you correct me for my bad attitude, I have to defend myself by saying I rarely waste my food. I DON'T in fact, but this is an exception because the sight of it makes me want to puke. Try imagining that. Yikes. 

We went back and I got started with work. But barely half an hour later, Pey Chyi died. And when she got up, we decided to leave. So yeah, I'm back home and I HAVEN'T SHOWERED. Haha! :P 

I'm going to go now, probably get some stuff done before I head to bed. I'm amazed by my ability to stay awake for almost 24 hours now. :) Well done Shern! - pats my shoulder.

I did a chemistry paper 3, a chemistry paper 2, 1 maths paper and bits and pieces of the next maths paper. Tomorrow I need to review Inorganic Chemistry and Complex Numbers. I foresee another productive day.

18 days left. God bless me.

OH YES! I saw Han Chong and he commented on how I can expand and contract as and when I like. Ha!

Okay, ciao ciao. Looking at the computer makes me dizzy.

Tuesday 14th Oct '08

09:13 hours

Home

I made a friend last night :)

And I'm a happy person today. Haha. Going to school later so it's really quite urgh. 

Okay, good bye.

Monday 13th Oct '08

01:03 hours

Home

I've wasted another day. A whole day doing really nothing. It's called a life of a bummer. I'm a bummer now and I'm not even feeling guilty about it. :\

I'm thinking of a long run tomorrow but I don't know how the hormones are going to react tomorrow. Long runs are good though my knees aren't. But yeah, I'm just thinking. 

DJ's collecting dust on his stand. Painful.

I've realised with all the time I've wasted, I could get a lot of training done. 

Things left unsaid

Love left untold.

Sunday 12th Oct '08

11:17 hours

Home

"Shern Lim from Singapore! You are an Iron Man!" 

I long to hear those words one day. Haha. Kona Championships is still on, so I'm really still in the mood. :P Wow wow, Chrissie Wellington won! :D Dammmmn cool. She's so cool. Way to go Chrissie! I'm your biggest fan! 

My da yee ma visited me today. It's quite horrible because you feel all fat and round. It makes you bloated so essentially, I look rounder. ) : LOL. Whatever. Oh, what's worse is, it makes me have this VERACIOUS appetite which really isn't helping. No swimming for 5 days. 

I'm so full now. Blah.

And I couldn't sleep last night. Very upset about that really.

Sheena and I will be skipping the mock papers tomorrow. Bad bad bad. 

Goodbye World.

Saturday 11th Oct '08

10:55 hours

Home

Qin Yi surprised me with a recording this morning that was superrrrr cute. Hahaha! Thanks lady! 

I had a good breakfast! :D All the junk from the market. Tsk. 

I've nothing much to say just that DJ has been calling me and asking me to take him for a ride. Hahaha, sian. I'm thinking about my knees. ) :

Okay, songs are making me very emotional. HAHA. 

You, Me

Why can't we see that there's more to love

than we'll ever know 

Sometimes we're closer when you're letting go

I wish the best for you

If you ever need a place that you can run to,

I'll be here. : )

PS: That reminds me of something Rayson said yesterday that Sheena and Wen Qi cannot tolerate. It's something nice of course. : )

PPS: I had funny dreams yesterday too. Like, funny funny. Not, funny funny.

Saturday 11th Oct '08

00:39 hours

Home

Today is a good day. It's graduation assembly so I'm no longer a student now. : ) that's fantastic, tell me. 

I've a new plan. I'm not leaving Singapore next year because I'm going to sign on to the army BECAUSE Mr Rayson Soh (a classmate) told me I no need grades to get a scholarship in the army. So I'm going to try to get a scholarship by excelling in OCS (hopefully) and get a good kick by tekanning guys in there BEFORE going to Aussieland, which I eventually will go to because I know I don't belong here. But whatever, the point is, I'll have an extended stay in Singapore. Now I'm thinking about Aviva 2009 and my brain is reminding me about my knees that might need surgery. Oh... What is an athlete without knees. Basically, nothing. : \

I watched House Bunny just now and met up with a friend because she happened to be at CS. What a coincidence really. Walked her home, talked a bit and yeah, made me happy. : ) Thought I made someone angry. Scared me a whole lot. Dangs. Haha. Oh yes, House Bunny was good! Had a good laugh at the bimbos and I think if we have an Asian version, Sheena can really make the cut. : )

I'm tired now. And my throat is dry because I had a whole lot of nonsense today. Marks and Spencers' Milk Chocolate and Dark Chocolate Biscuits (almost the whole box really, because no one wanted to eat and I had to do the honour of finishing up), Ikea Dill chips which was awesome so I had the whole packet with me after everyone had a helping. Then there was chicken rice for lunch and hm, pretty much junks. : \ sigh. Pasta Mania for dinner complete with garlic bread for appetiser and chocolate banana pizza for dessert. Awesome. : )

I'm going to sleep SOON. I'm going to mug tomorrow because I haven't done any today and DANGS, my shit are with my two best buddies in school so I'm thinking of riding down to Punggol and Hougang to get my shit. Good reason for a good workout. : D And riding is alright for my knees. I hope.

ZzZzzzz. I'm yawning and Shane is tempting me with Ramen. Noooooo.

Good night, world

Label me the girl who can't be moved : )

Friday 10th Oct '08
00:06 hours
Home

I've been a good lil' girl for the past hour, studying transition elements. Nothing seems to be going in though. Darn.

In a free ion/molecule atom of a transition element, the five 3d orbitals are degenerate
In the presence of ligands, the set of denegerate 3d orbitals split into two groups of different energy levels.
This effect is known as d orbital splitting.

Oh whatever. I tried this new method of studying. That's drawing pictures to represent every step of a particular reaction. It's kinda working really! So exciting. I hope I can put a picture to everything. Fantastico. 

Farewell assembly tomorrow. Joanna guaranteed she'd cry. I'm doubting it though, because with me around, no one can shed tears. WAHAHA.

I'm feeling sleepy already, finally. But yeah, got to finish up! COME ON!

If you see this girl, can you tell her where I am.

'Cause I'm not moving. 

You'll see me waiting for you at the corner of the street. : )

Thursday 9th Oct '08
21:06 hours
Home

I feel quite accomplished today because I did 2 chemistry paper 2 today. It's a very nice feeling to complete those stuff even though I might not be able to answer all the questions, I'm glad I could even attempt some. : ) I love being smart. Okay, on a side note, that's about all I did today. :X I tried studying periodic table but sadly, now I can't really recall what I studied so I guess I didn't really study. So let's see, I'm going to study more later. It's going to be a chemistry day and I'm a happy person because I realised chemistry isn't that hard. : )

Oh, you know what's really cool? I studied in front of the tv today while both my brothers were playing Gears of War on the Xbox. I mean, who can study when people in front of you are fighting a war and the volume was crazy loud? I CAN. I can't believe I finish two papers while they play. I'm amazing.

Well well, I'm not thinking a lot today. Less, for sure. Took a nap in the afternoon and dreamt of certain things but yeah, it's not bothering me now so I'm quite glad. : )

Hm, let's see... There's school tomorrow. I'm really reluctant to go though. Gosh... I don't sleep early now so it's really hard to get up early.


I didn't cry the day you left
Didn't think that I will feel this pain
Whatever happened to our innocence
And it's something you said about being friends
Could it be that nothing's going to change.
The one I lost when I let go of you.
I need to wake up from this state of mind.
Would you catch me if I had a fall?
Tell me how, help me say the words out loud.


'Cos you are not the only person that I could love in this world. :D

Thursday 9th Oct '08
10:20 hours
Home

I'm awake now, and I'm bored and I feel like going back to that same spot on my bed. I've been sleeping beneath heaps and piles of notes and books. HAHA, over-exaggerating really. But yes, it's a nice feeling to share the bed with the weapons that are going to help me win my battle. Ah, what a cute illustration. :)

Just brought Kyuubi down for a walk. Our walks are getting shorter and brief because I'm just too lazy.

My knees are officially busted. It makes me sad to think about it because what's a triathlete who can't run. ): They are painful the minute I start walking. Maybe I should go back to brisk walking and make myself a happier person by starting to get my foundation right. Like what Paul said, "it's not about winning or doing well for each race, it's just about the experience and completing it." I need to get such mindset into my ever-competitive head so that I'll stop destroying my body, especially those knees. What's with ego when I can't even take care of my self. I can swim and I can bike, but even if I have to walk the entire segment to the finishing line, it doesn't matter because it's about completing the race ain't it. Slow run, pace yourself sweetheart. What's the moral of my story here? That is to train damn hard for swim and bike and even if I have to walk to the finishing line, I'll still not be the last.
HAHAHAHA. What logic seriously.

I was talking to a long-time-no-talk friend yesterday. Quite a dear friend back in secondary school days. Hahaha, more importantly, she's someone who can identify with me. So I like her a lot. Hahaha, good old days.

I'm going to have awfullychocolate cake for breakfast and I'm not even going to care about the tyres that are showing around my waist. WAHAHAH.

goodbye people.
hi chemistry.

i wish the best for you.

A Day At The Aiport.

Wednesday 8th Oct '08
23:13 hours
Home

First things first, Happy 20th Birthday, Brother! :D

Today I had a pleasant day with Sheena at the airport. We ate, and study, and ate, and ate, and ate. We talked quite abit too and we crashed the Crowne Plaza Hotel and got chased away by the stupid security. So we went into the toilet and hid there to take photos and talked some more. Studied a little longer then left at 7pm thereabouts.

Driving tonight was cool. Love the instructor by the name of Paul. Doubt I'll be seeing him again though.

Won't be going to school tomorrow again. Might be crashing Wen Qi's place to study at about 4pm. See how things goes. Then I might spend my entire night to morning baking and Friday is farewell assembly. Really cool.

Gossiping is the new in thing. :D

Good night world.

Wednesday 6th Oct '08
06:09 hours
Barely awake

I've been through so much sometimes these things doesn't even hurt already. You know, when you've been through the ultimate hurt, what is this compared to what you've went through before. It's kind of a numbing feel, which makes you feel nothing at all. Probably frustration and a alot of angst but generally, it shouldn't hurt.

And because I've been through that kind of pain, I don't want people around me to ever experience that. I try to do my best, I try to be perfect. I tell the truth, because that's what I know I want people to be- truthful to me and I don't say hurtful things. I want people around me to be happy. But. These are all on a general sense, because we lose it sometimes. There's some things that are way beyond our control. We want to control it, we want to hold it in but we can't.

I think I've improved alot from the past. I've grown, and that's one thing through this all that I can be proud about. :)

To those I have hurt, I'm sorry. But don't push me ever again, 'cos I can't take it. I can take pain and hurt yes, but don't make me hurt you. Because I don't want to. So don't make me.
Inevitable you say, I've got much to learn.

Good morning world, I'm going back to bed.

PS: Thanks Jodan. :)

That hatred.

Tuesday 7th Oct '08

21:59 hours

Home

You know, I have this hatred for selfish people. People who are self-centred and can't care less about others because their worlds only contain 'I'. I detest these people, they disgust me. I don't think anyone should be pushed too hard in this world. Not even my dad. 

For goodness sake, he doesn't print money so stop giving him a hard time and pester him to give us cash. Yes, I'm not happy that I don't get allowance and am still in debt and I can't even afford a bowl of noodles now but PLEASE, just shut up and let him give the money at his own time. Heartless creatures. You people make me sick. 

I hate self-centred people. 

But guess what?

I'm one too.

I lost my cool today a few times. Must be the stress you say. 

My fist hurts now because I've punched everything a million times today and I've screamed and shouted so much today I don't even feel like talking now. Over my brother's birthday dinner I shouted the f word at Shane because he was being an asshole. I can't shut up, I can't shut up when the world is against me. Screw you people. You don't make me happy and I'm turning into an unhappy person when I'm supposed to be happy.

I haven't talked for the past few hours and I'm not even feeling funny.

This is funny.

I want to cry but I can't. There's no tears forming. I'm feeling so much pain but I can't let them out. 

Seriously, killing myself isn't such a bad idea now.

Screw A levels.

Tuesday 7th Oct '08

10:12 hours

Home

I don't know what to do, what to say.

To you: I'm sorry.

Monday 6th Oct '08

22:45 hours

Home

I failed my final theory and I'm one hell of a sad person. 

And things aren't going the way I planned. I'm starting to feel inadequate.

Self declared holiday :D

Monday 6th Oct '08

16:58 hours 

Home

I had a sinful day today because it's a dear friend's Sheena's birthday! :D I'm so sorry that the present wasn't decent enough but I promise the cake I'll be baking is going to be fan-tabulous and you will stick to me for the rest of your life so every year I can bake it for you. HAHA. I love you woman, if you are reading this and thanks for being such a dear in my life and being such an SAC. Haha! :X

We had Swensens at White Sands, after I finished my Econs consultation. Gosh, it's crazy. It was sinful like HELL. Haha! But we all had fun! :D The cam whore sessions which I look utterly horrible in and yes, the company and FOOD. We love each other so much you guys can't feel our love. :P Alot of time spent, but not one bit wasted because it's a special day. Thanks people!

I'm back home now. Haven't studied today. 

I'm self-declaring holiday from tomorrow onwards because going to school is a waste of time because half the time I'm stoning or thinking about something else. I need to sit down in peace and study at my own pace because that's my way of doing things. I want to be able to see planes fly past when I'm bored so I'm making the airport my new home so that Australia will be closer to my heart. I'll be more motivated to study then. Aussieland, PLEASE WAIT FOR ME! Hahaha. I love being out of here. I'm not out yet, but I know how much I'm going to love it.

Final theory in less than 2 hours. Whooohoooo. 

Long runs long runs long runs. I'm doing one later. Awesome. Then there's swim and run tomorrow, then run, then run, and run, and run for the rest of the week. I'm sick of being a couch potato. I need to get stronger.

This week is sinful because brother's birthday dinner is tomorrow. Gosh. Seafoooodddd.

And I'm broke. I need money NOW. There's two important people's birthday coming up. I need money fast.

Good bye people!

Mama Mia!

Monday 6th Oct '08

00:09 hours

Home

When you're gone, 

how can I even try to go on.

When you're gone,

though I try how can I carry on.

I've watch Mama Mia the second time and it's still sooooo awesome! 

Just got back from the theatre and I'm sleepy, and full. We had a lot of nonsense, like Ajisen set meal and I had a box of Nachos. My brother is screaming, saying I eat too much nonsense. Therefore, I'm officially going on a diet. :D I don't believe in diets really, but no harm trying. :) 

I'm so bored. SO BORED. And I think that stupid guy....... ARGH. Whatever. It's none of my concern, it's none of my business so shut up Shern. :D 

I'm going to get some work done, be happy, and go sleep. :D

Advanced theory tomorrow! Then it's booking of TP test then it's driving by the end of the year. THAT IS TOTALLY EXCITING AND AWESOME. 

Good night people!

Life.

Sunday 5th Oct '08

13:53 hours

Home

I could just sit in front of the clock and watch it go "tick tick tick" and it would make me happier than getting down to work. Time is flying so fast and I'm not cherishing every minute. I'm just looking forward to getting out of this country, far away so that I would stop thinking. 

The person who invented the word "happily ever after" should have his ass kicked so hard. - Meredith Grey

Season 5. YAY!

3 weeks?

Sunday 5th Oct '08

11:01 hours

Home

I did a 12am run last night, just a short one, barely 2km I believe, then I met Serene at the bus-stop. We talked a bit then sent her off onto her bus home. Haha, funny how I can talk to her LIKE THAT now when in the past, every little action of hers irritate me like ANYTHING. I'm changed. I'm a nice and happy person now. :)

Oh, the run was good by the way. Serene was puzzled how I can actually perspire so much. Haha! I love my shoes! :D

I was with Rui Qi before that. We had a late dinner at 85 where we feed on the delicacies of Singapore and sucked my pocket dry. We talked, a lot, about our problems and how we're going to solve them. Two girls who have exams coming in days our fingers can count are actually worrying about far too many things in this world. Let your hair loose and have fun, be happy, work hard and DON'T care about the shit that's in our life now, because the shit will settle themselves. I swear they will. :)

So I left her place a little past 11pm and got home by 12am. Then I met Serene, ran, did weights and slept. I've found a new love for weights all over again.

Ah! I just feel like screaming now. I can feel my books calling out to me and how they yearn my attention.

And crap, Rui Qi says the loan might not want to loan money to me for my overseas education. AH.

Okay, bye people. 

WEN QI IS SUCH AN ASS.

Saturday 4th Oct '08
17:52 hours
Sheena's Living Room

I'm at Sheena's house now. Supposed to be studying but today is so unproductive till a point that I don't even want to start talking about it. To think I made the choice of coming out to mug when it's the same, everywhere. And I'm so apologetic to the two babes in the house for being such an irritant and making them not able to study. HAHA. :X

I've been eating, that's all I've been doing so it's really quite interesting. This is what happens when you want to host a person like me. No more food in the house after I leave. :P

I'm so bored. We're listening to Mama Mia's! Sound track, the show that I'm going to watch for the second time tonight. :D

I've got nothing to say anymore, so Sheena's taking over...

-changes to Sheena-

HELLO!!!
its sheena's birthday in 2 days time and my besties are so gonna celebrate with me rights...
hahaha...
i will bring a camera for cam whore session
and shern cannot say no!!!
hahaha
wenqi, dont be mean.
the pig is sleeping... snores... zzzz..

-changes back to shern-

Money money money, must be funny in a rich man's world.

BORED. AND CAN'T STUDY = BAD.

oops. HI SHEENA, I won't come again so that you can study. ):

-changes to Sheena-

even if you aren at my place, maybe i will be spending my time online shopping.. hee.. so its better for you to be at my place.
yays
you finally wanna play WII~~~~

-changes to shern-

YAY, we are going to play WII.

Good bye world!

Meeting Expectations.

Saturday 4th Oct '08
10:11 hours
Home

I'm in the mood for a long post today, maybe because it's a bright and sunny yellow banana day.

Expectations is such a big word.

I realised, I'm someone who doesn't like to disappoint people, especially when they are people close to my heart. You know, when people are expecting me to do well for my A's, I cannot bear to disappoint them, especially people like Mum. I've said it before that if I wanted something, if I want it so so so much, I would do MY BEST, ANYTHING at all to be able to get it to belong to me. But for A's, it's a little complicated now, because I don't see myself giving my best, nor pushing myself hard enough to be able to do well. *sigh I see much disappointment ahead. I better get out of Singapore by then.

Much to my surprise, I've seen myself grown so much. To be able to make my own decisions, do the things I want, without hesitating. Life's too short dear friends, to put too much thought in everything you are thinking of doing. For one, if you put too much thoughts into things, you waste time. Secondly, I think thinking too much about everything just makes you feel more confused and makes matters more complicated. Just live life as it is, do the things you want, eat the things you want and be happy.

I've thought about what I've been telling Serene. That it's important to be happy and how if you're happy, you won't offend anyone. I think it's human's nature to be like this. Not about being happy, because often humans choose to please others, instead making themselves unhappy for that temporary security of being accepted. What I'm referring to here is not offending others. Yes, I agree that being self-centred is wrong, because it makes you feel pathetic after awhile, but I think the moral of my story is, NORMAL humans do not seek to do things to please themselves more than others. So, don't think so much. It's in us to not hurt others. 'Cos if you do, you'll end up hurting yourself. :D

I feel contradictory here. I hope people gets my point. It's so hard to put it into words but I know it so clear in my head.

Hmmm.. The last person I want to disappoint is myself. I've made this mistake once, and I don't think I'll give myself any leeway to do it again. It comes with tons of responsibilities and I'll be judged like whatever shit but who cares. Disappointing to many, yes, but I think it's worse disappointing myself.

I'm sorry world, but I can't do it.

I'm going to do my hair later. WHOO!

Good bye!

I love what it's like now.

Friday 3rd Oct '08
22:47 hours
Home

I'm home! Spent my entire day at the airport, which I thought was rather productive. :) I love my day because I could actually just sit there and study and study and study. I guess when there's no one around who I can irritate and disturb, I can study. Airport food is expensive though. Oh, actually not really, it really depends on where you go to have lunch. Haha.

I cut my hair today! AND I LOOK PATHETICALLY AWFUL. ):

Let's see... I met two people today, spent my time talking to Serene most of the time via SMS before I really got down to work and had to stop our conversation. It's interesting talking to her 'cause she asks the most random things. I slept for awhile after lunch, 20 minutes! Super cool. And the place was like flooded with MJCians.

The pleasant surprise came at 6pm, hung around for 10 minutes then left for work. Haha. I slacked at the bus terminal to wait for Qin Yi's arrival. Saw Amos Ang go home. Qin Yi came and we went to Starbucks to study. The table behind us was these MJC Arts girls I knew and they were openly gossiping about people I KNOW. Oh gosh, so funny!

I studied till 9pm, then we walked around and talked, alot. About the issues. Oh well, moral of the story is...

BE HAPPY.

I live by that and no one stops me. :)

I'm going to bed soon because tomorrow is a long day AT SCHOOL. Meeting the girls for study session from morning to evening. It's 2300 hours, so two more hours left.

Good night world!

ONE DAY CAMP!

Friday 3rd Oct '08
11:40 hours
Home

I skipped school today. I just didn't think it was worth it to go to school for one lesson which I would totally be lost in, and so I didn't. :) Managed to catch up on some sleep which I thought would really be useful for my one day camp at the airport later. Decided to bring forward the time to go so I can have a good sleep tonight and hopefully, have a productive day of studying tomorrow. Fantastic. :D

I'm losing my appetite, which to me, is awesome. Wayyyy awesome.

I've nothing more to say today. I just hope today is going to be a happy day for the happy person (that's me!).

Good bye people! Love you guys.

To-Do 03.10.08
CHEMISTRY
ECONS

Thank God.

Thursday 2nd Oct '08
17:30 hours
Home

I thank God for friends who care, friends who can be brutally honest in their opinions towards even the most sensitive issues and of course, friends who can provide me with a listening ear and help me solve my problems. No, I really meant, friends who guide me to help myself solve my own problem.

The sky looks blue-er, the trees look greener and Shern is back.

Oh well, time to get started with work proper. But I'm actually going to CDC in awhile and that suck. Totally boring and I'm so not interested in going. Rawrrr. Stupid driving. What's with getting a license.

Who wants to sit in my car?

Adios Amigos.

Sigh.

Thursday 2nd Oct '08
15:51 hours
Home

After all these years, who have I been kidding..

I haven't done anything the entire day, other than swimming in my agony. I don't know what's wrong. I think I just need to calm down my heart and think. No, probably I should stop thinking and start working. Thinking is tough and draining, and it doesn't help but worsens the situation. Get down to work, bugger!

I'm not thinking. But the thought of crashing the CDC's car tonight is ever so persistent in my mind. HAHA. I need to getaway for awhile. :D The thought of school is so dreadful and I'm giving up already. What's with the confidence of everyone in me. It's giving me soooo much pressure. Argh.

I need a hardcore mug session tomorrow. Airport tomorrow anyone? PEY CHYI!

And, the contents of the blog was deleted for no particular reason. Haha.

I'm tired. *sigh

And I just hurt someone again.

Good bye world.