Do you know a teacher that changed your life?

I'm in such excitement! I found out today that my favourite Guider was promoted to become the Principal of my secondary school 2 years back! Such wonderful news! Looking back, it now makes sense that when I visited her 2 years ago, she was no longer a Guider( but she wasn't principal then too) and I felt then that the Girl Guides had just lost the best Guider ever! But now I know that she was destined for a greater purpose. She's guiding the whole school! I know that she is most capable of that position. I am glad that the school is in great hands. It's time to pay Mrs. Tan a visit =) And yes, she is in my list of favourite teachers- teachers who have made a difference in my life, out of sincere concern and with unconditional love. She inspired me and gave her utmost support when I was a Ranger and U/L, believed in me more than any other teachers did, and although she never taught me any classes, the lessons I learn from her outside class was the most valuable of all.

Yeah! Obama won after a long and tiring election. I'm excited to see what changes he will bring to America and the rest of the world. So what if he supports all forms of queer groups and races? It just shows that he has compassion, and I think to be God-loving in the first place, we all need that compassion within us and not judge them nor ostracize them. Do not forget that God loves all his children, regardless of whatever form/shape they come in. Let's not miss the point but to see the bigger picture.

Hmm..........................................................................................




Stop and Stare (One Republic)

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can you see what I see

They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push
Untie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
I'm gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, You don't need...

What you need, what you need...

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
And I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do you see what I see...





I think we all need to just stop. and stare.

the sound of the piano and rain, is a match made in heaven.


If only the flat was bigger. I wouldn't have mind paying $80 for that second hand piano.

Meow.

=)

Adversities are part and parcel of life, but I keep meeting angels who help me understand the greater purpose of life. I'm glad I've been blessed to be able to experience it from another perspective. In many ways, it's liberating, and it opens the heart to many other possibilities. The search will never end, but each discover leads on to another which can only get better than before. For now, the lesson is to live in the present, enjoy the journey, and move on from there.

Doxology

Praise God, from Whom all blessings flow;

Praise Him, all creatures here below;

Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host;

Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen

It has been awhile since I stepped into a Methodist church. Decided to check out the one just in front of my house today and it was not too bad, except that the pastor is very long winded in his prayer. I personally like people who get straight to the point and not say something in 100 different ways. People like me who have acute ADHD will get lost somewhere in between. Otherwise, the message was ok, but I felt there was not enough reading of the bible. What I was happy with was the benediction and the doxology which I used to sing back home every Sunday. So yeah, it reminded me of home. That was comforting. Otherwise, I still prefer the baptist church I go to, maybe because the pastor there speaks better and his engagement with the bible verses are more structured and he speaks to the point. I guess, I would still go back to this church once in awhile just to sing the doxology.

You know, no matter how badly things go, if we keep looking on the bright side, things will always turn out fine eventually. Looking back at the past two weeks, I'm amazed at how strange things have been happening, but at the same time, good things happened to counter-balance the odd ones too. Therefore, I cannot complain of anything because things do happen for a reason. And those reasons keep me smiling; they renew my depleting energy and restore my faith. A friend recently pointed out dark circles under my eyes. OH NO!!!!!! It took me one year to rid them, and now they're back! To quote Sara, 'You can't fight them'. GAH!!

People puzzle me. I've noticed lately that a lot of people are careless with their words. They do not think before speaking, they act and not react. Maybe sometimes it's intentional, but most of the time, it's mindless. Hasty words could shatter impressions, break blocks and crumble mountains. It can extinguish fire, but it can also make the flame grow bigger, depending on the quality of the charcoal.

I really miss dissertation.

Thank God I'm done relocating. Now I just need to settle down and get back into rhythm. I guess it was a good forced break as well.

I still can't decide on my thesis and I'm glad LCK's giving me additional time. He's flying all over anyway.

Something CK said resonated deeply. He said that my thesis is about what I want to do, and that he's not here to work for me, but he'll work with me. I guess it's the final stage before I go out to work, and CK said that it's for me to decide what to do for because thesis is about my conviction. He did say that it would affect what kind of firm I would work for and what my beliefs are. To a certain extent, that did strike a chord.

Hmm... what do I really want to do for thesis?

It's time to walk on my own two feet. I do suppose it will prepare me for a bigger picture? After all, He has His plans for us, right? I don't know mine yet, but everything has its purpose.

Honestly, I know He doesn't communicate with me directly, but he sends many angels to aid me or to help me heal. I just don't know how lucky I am, and things will soon work out, even if not smoothly, but I know for now, they won't let me be alone in this.

In all things give thanks.

Step 1: Release all frustrations.
Step 2: Ask yourself why you're frustrated
Step 3: Drop all expectations and start anew.
Step 4: Reaffirm your renewed strength.
Step 5: Praise God and give thanks. Be grateful.

It took me awhile to complete the process, the whole afternoon in fact. I now understand why Freud uses the couch, and in the same manner, I reached my subconscious lying on the bed, just thinking away. Thoughts just flowed through, and events just played back in my mind, things I've achieved through hard work and determination. Dreaming is just the first step, but to get there, you've got to work towards it. And it can never happen if you hinder yourself. Let yourself be free and so will your body, and one day, you're there already. Looking back, it was never a smooth ride. It had always started with rough patches, aches and bruises. It took trust, courage and encouragement to attain the goal.

A lesson that was taught to me early this week was to learn how to withhold all judgments whilst experiencing inner strength. I tried to control it, but it overcame me. That humbled me. Learning to open up that way had not been easy.

Thank God for reminding me sooner. It's better than worrying whole week and burdening the mind with wandering thoughts. I take this challenge and hope to see myself transformed. I'm just grateful for the encouragement from friends and that particular tutor who had more faith in me than I do myself. Keeping everything crossed!

oh simple things

Our latest rendezvous...the prata there looked tempting


post-it stacko, half contributed by sok =)! it'll last me for the whole year!
but i feel bad for depleting her own supply

gift of grandma's love =) a packet of klang bak ku teh spices!!! yippeeeee

a deconstructed sushi king green tea mooncake with cranberry yolk!
simply scrumptious (though the picture seems to say otherwise).
another gift from popo.

a break from the ordinary just makes me happy.
and it's usually the simplest things in life.

I'm getting my priorities wrong. I seem to be spending more time on my TA thing than on thesis prep.

It's funny how the non-archi students are more 'concerned' about their work than the archi students themselves, considering this is a compulsory module for archi. So far, my emails come from non-archi students who obediently emailed me their presentation topics whilst the archi students must be thinking...aiyah, tmr then email la. Anyway, it's their loss. No email means no feedback. I've already told them no overlap in presentation topic, plus if they email me, I would be able to let them know in advance if they need to engage the topic more... No wonder L said it's the arts students who will excel in essay writing...

I hate to generalize, but even for myself, I think the archi students have very nonchalant attitudes. Sometimes I'm like that too. We always find excuses for ourselves to be busy when we really do not need to. I suppose the 'archi mentality' needs to be shaved off from the very first year. People should stop telling horror stories and stop psycho-ing themselves that this is one damn hard course. Then again, sometimes it has served me well. I shall not elaborate... hehehehehe

Looking forward to an interesting seminar ahead, plus another avalanche coming at me soon.

I found a website that provided exactly what I have been looking for!

Aspirin mask

Shall try it when I get my hands on some aspirin! I think it'll work like magic, seeing how my hall neighbour's face cleared up after a dosage of aspirins from the doctor. But for those who are allergic to aspirin, try this and it'll double the size of your face!



tom cat: why bother? just lick your face everyday and you'll be pretty like me! meow!

LK's bday gift. Looking back, I think it was such a retarded gift indeed. Should've bought her something better. Lol. This pic brings such sweet memories. Maybe I'll update my flickr after the draft submission this Fri. I think I've collected some great photos the past year :)

The mind is such a strange and amazing thing.

It's funny how connections are made when you least expect it to =) Just wished that it took less time than required.

Finding serendipity in every corner and staying strong.

I've found a use for Alice. That's my new notebook, a gift from a friend.
Ultra handy and I finally know what I shall use it for.


That's me and my cat.


My new place! Shall hope to plan a housewarming in Sept or Oct, if all goes well :)
With some good lighting and industrial furniture, I think it'll look perfectly fine.
Yes Cheryl, good idea. ;)


Thanks to L's grinding, I've found that the readings are surprisingly easier to read and understand. Plus, they're all typically her. No wonder the rest are so shocked by it. Looking forward to some good fun in class! I really have got to go back to my dissy soon!!!


* I'm still pissed at insensitive neighbours who outrightly place their prayer tables at my front door when they have so much corridor space at their side. And who gets the incense and ashes all over the front? I'm so tempted to say 'typical S*reans' but that will just render me as insensitive, but I'm sorry, THAT IS JUST A FACT SOMETIMES. I know not all are like that, but majority of them are. In the trains, on the road, in the restaurant. I symphatize with them but I cannot tolerate insensitivity. Back home, we do not eat in front of our Malay friends who are fasting because it is purely insensitive. We are taught to tolerate and respect others. Why can't people here just do the same? Even rental ads are so outrightly racist. It may save people time in searches, but it is still not tactful enough. Why can't everyone be Christians (or Hindus) and not pollute the earth with unnecessary paper burning? I may be blunt, but yes, that is the truth.

praise God! Our efforts have finally paid off! Tired and fatigued by the hunt, we finally found one that we love (shall post more when the contract has been signed), and they accepted our offer! I won't be homeless anymore, plus I'll be staying again with my family, and friend!! I kinda liked living alone (then I took in someone but the energy was just different). I won't mind some good company and love (I trust they will take good care of me?). Tehehehe. Just as well I don't mind being the maid and cook. This time, I think my angel came in the form of the property agent. Believe it or not, she's really pretty and has porcelain skin, sweet and demure. Most agent would give up or not bother, but this girl (she's about my age), she was just different. She knew what we wanted and spent her time and energy to help us. Thank God!!! At least now I have 1 month+ to change addresses and facilitate the change. Thanks to those who have been keeping their fingers/legs/hands/everything crossed for me!

My spirits are renewed again! Yipee! I will really miss this place that I'm staying in, but maybe it's time to move on?

*can't stop thinking about the shelf that I wanted to buy. Now's the chance!

Crunch time is here and I'm feeling it already.

It's one more week before school reopens. What happened to those sweet 3 months?

I remember vaguely...

May was the start of dissy, struggling to write and work out a framework.
June was working on dissy, thinking that we have 2 more months to hand-in. Sounds like plenty of time.
July was working on dissy, thinking 'oh, shit, one month left', but still feeling rather calm.
August was panicking on dissy, thinking 'oh no, 2 weeks left!!!!!'
September will be rushing to clean up dissy and move house! oh gawd... plus I'm a TA! What on earth was I thinking back then??? Now I have an extended dissy, but I shall try to think of it as passing on knowledge to the class. As jm said, if she's Plato, I'm Aristotle. (ok, private joke. dun think I'm even good enough for that) LOL! *fingers crossed*

How funny the way I measure time, for I remember more clearly the things I were suffering for, rather than the happy times I filled it in between with, like going on short trips or meeting up with friends for casual talks, and of course, meeting wonderful new friends. I am not sad that school is starting, but rather I am sad because I do not have 48 hours a day. Having to give up doing some things I love, or rather streamlining my timetable would be more wise for now. Thank God I did a year-out, or else I would be totally blank in archi. prac. lectures. Hopefully it'll be more of a refresher course. Anyway, the year out was good as it allowed me to explore other arenas, to grow deeper in my search of self and God, to spend time brushing up my cooking and baking skills, working on my health and falling back in love with reading. I've managed to grow out of watching drama series and the tv (simply because I have no cable and normal channels here suck, I'm sorry). Looking back, I've never had such a peaceful holiday, doing things I need to do and doing things I love doing, without being disturbed! Life can be blissful I tell you.

Anyway, I pray that the new semester would be fulfiling and inspiring, unlike many of the previous semesters in my undergraduate days. And I pray that throughout the semester, I will grow, intellectually, spiritually and physically stronger. How I will juggle all of them? Only God will know. I pray He will guide me and my friends, as we take this final (for Masters that is) journey filled with grace and love. Amen =)

Give thanks, even in pain

Sometimes, we all need pain to remind ourselves to keep living and to enjoy every moment of it: to take in the sensation and breathe into it. And when the pain is over, we sometimes feel sore, and we should be thankful for that too, for soreness means that we are growing stronger and stronger, as we learn to adjust to each new sensation.

I'm glad to have found something to be thankful for, and it's not always in good things that we give thanks.


Sidenote: I think the biggest impression a person leaves on me, is gratitude. If that persons lacks gratitude of all sorts, then I'm sorry, life is just going to be harder for you with each passing day if you continue taking everything for granted.

Playing with Light at home

Mm... played again today. Better shots, but still not as satisfactory. It'll come with practice =)


Spud: Garden in my kitchen.


Lint.


Halo above my desk. Giving an industrial feel to my workspace.

Was playing with my new toy. Looks like I haven't gotten used to the lenses yet. =( Need to read the manual for more instructions. Bleh. I'm so lazy. Above is a snapshot of the voodoo love doll hanging at my table and below is a farewell album from the office, jm's handiwork! Love the photo compilation that she did with the personal notes from everyone written on the back, minus EL's cos she blew a kiss onto the album and gave me her love =). The photo shows my bday celebration. Dunno why I'm still smiling at the book while SL's standing behind with the cake already. Mmmm....

I realized that short distance goals give better measure and awareness of time as compared to long-term ones. How quickly time flies by without me noticing the change in weather. As I meet people whom I've not met for ages, I notice age has taken a toll on them, weariness in their eyes and heaviness in their breath. I don't want to be like that. I want to always project a certain freshness around me, finding joy in everything I do and be conscious when I am with people I love (ok, and other normally-ranked people as well). I want to soak in every minute, breathe into my work and smile when I can. I want my life to be a song and dance with people who mean a lot to me. I don't want it to be a scary movie, or a thriller, where half the time I'm avoiding mad men or psychopaths.

Actually, I'm saying all these is because I'm still in denial that school will start soon. It's like a great leap of faith this year to come. But I know, God will never let me walk alone. =)

The hardest thing to keep up with, is self-awareness.

A Time for Everything

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (New International Version)

I love how this passage from the bible emphasizes that duality exists. That one good does not mean the absence of the bad, vice versa. Of course, there's so much more to it than just that. I'll leave it to your interpretations, but for me, this passage couldn't have said it better. We all don't live in Pleasantville, where all emotions are positive, everyone is perfect. We sometimes need balance, so that we can appreciate the better things in life, allowing us to weigh the options, and understand our existence.

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it we're not balanced by sadness.

~Carl Jung

Life can be beautiful, only if we want it to.

A night of hungry diners, citadel board game and birthday celebration.
It's great just spending time with old pals and sinking into familiarity and losing your self-consciousness.

For a moment, I thought it was the end of the world. My hopes and dreams were cut short. But today, good news came back. 2010.

I now have a sense of renewed energy.

What a worrying week!!! Time to reorganize my timetable, priorities, and stay focused!
Nothing is impossible to achieve if I put my heart and soul into it.

As the teachers move on, so will the student.
For they have imparted their knowledge and wisdom, guidance and affection, and the winds have called them to another place.

When does a student move on? He won't know, but when the teacher does move on, the student is put to test. Being able to carry the knowledge further is the greatest gift to the teacher, for he knows that he has done his job well, and selected his students carefully.

I always wonder, why is it that each time after I leave a 'phase', I find it harder and harder to keep in touch. Keep in touch through meeting up, that is. It's rather hard nowadays to make appointments with friends just to 'meet up'. We work 5 days a week, rest 2 days. So assuming you keep your friday nights for meeting up. In a month, you have 4 cycles of 'meeting up'. That's assuming everyone is free to do so. If not, we postpone and postpone until consensus is reached. Then we meet up.

Why is it first and foremost so difficult to find time for 'self', hence what more for others? I suppose it's just a natural progression of life. We make friends, we learn from each other, have sweet memories, and then when the 'phase' is up, we move one, keeping good memories and promises to 'meet up'. But as time passes by, we make new friends and the cycle continues. I suppose that is the reason why keeping in touch is difficult. We fall out, our interests change, we change, they change. But the best part I would like to believe is that, in falling out with old buddies, we meet new ones, and we learn from them. Of course, nothing beats a good old friend, but moving on allows us to see the bigger world out there.

Thank goodness for the virtual world, which allows us to be everywhere with everyone at once.

There's something about the weather today, but I certainly do not know what.

Firstly, I collected my repaired slippers from the cobbler today. What I told him was 'The other side please' (because that was what he told me to ask for when I sent it to him for repair). So he searched high and low for the 'other side'. When he found it, I whipped out $5, and he asked me, 'How much did I charge you last time?' '$5', I said. 'Sure it wasn't $10?', he replied, with a skeptic look. 'No, you actually charged me a dollar for it', I said jokingly. Before I knew it, he typed $4 in his register! I was so delighted and shocked.

Anyway, this is good customer service. No wonder his business is thriving so well. How nice of him to give me a dollar discount. Things do happen when you least expect it!

The second incident.
I received last month's utilities bill. Well, I do know that since my housemate was hardly around last month, the bill would drop by a lot this month, and when I tore open the envelope, I was shocked to see a -$10.24!!!!!
Wow. I've never ever had a negative bill before and in this case, it was not because my sis overpaid last month. I suspect that since the services board estimates bills every alternate month, they have been overcharging. And it was so overcharged that it offset my water and trash collection, plus I have -$10 to bring forward. Anyway, I did a quick check on the website and found out that electricity tariff has been going up every quarter. That's damn gross. In Malaysia, it only happens like once every... godzillion years. And Selangor is getting free water! It's as though companies here are increasing prices just to increase their profits.

Melaka and George Town, Penang have been awarded UNESCO world heritage status

YES!

I must not forget angels, for I only tend to remember them in times of difficulties.

Angels are present, here, now and tomorrow. They always keep watch but appear when needed.

The not-so-cryptic entry

All these while, I didn't know I was overloading my clothes rack. Day after day, I pile on jeans, bags, tops, blouses, etc. Joints made of plastic and aluminum bars, I failed to notice that one of the joint was cracking. But I did notice from my bed that it was leaning as crooked as the Leaning Tower of Pisa. One day, it gave way.

Unknowingly, I have been piling, storing and keeping clothes that I need and do not need. The more I collect, the heavier it gets.

Luckily, the other leg is still standing. I've modified it to become a one-legged clothes rack instead. I must say that I'm glad that it broke, because this gave me the opportunity to clean up, to put away and to filter through what I need and no longer need. Tops I've had since day one of uni have been neatly folded to be given to charity (if I can find any nearby). Those that I still want but are not part of my everyday fashion now have been put into the luggage for storage.

Tough as it is to be a foreigner, it's even tougher if you're a sentimental foreigner. It is important to not collect junk, and to learn the art of dumping junk. Learning to prioritize is important. Otherwise, moving would be hell.

I must say that my most difficult moment when I move would be to move my books. Oh my books. Although I'm not really a material person, I'm the kind who would spend $200 to buy a sturdy shelf to house my books, and to be shared with the folded clothes (I do have one in mind, but the cost is holding me back). Clothing, bag and shoe shops would close down if I am their only customer.

I don't know whether is it because I grew up in a simple family and in a simple town, where our culture is not one of wastage. We learn to value quality over quantity, and refuse to pay ridiculous sums of money for extravagance. Maybe it's because I grew up hating materialistic culture because of the repetition from writing about it in my karangan (malay essays). I simply dislike yuppie culture but once in a blue moon indulgence is fine. Just today, I decided that professional football is disgusting because of the amount of money they pay to top players and all the other invisible transactions that arise from the consumerism of football.

To end it, I should have said yes when Mr. Landlord asked if I needed a replacement for the clothes rack. Well, he was the one who was there when it happened. I was out. Then again, it would've killed my creativity and satisfaction from knowing that I managed to recycle parts.

Actually, it took me so long to realize that they're all the same; whatever you believe in, the principles are fundamental. Whatever you learn, again, the principles are fundamental. I wished I could've seen that sooner. At least I know, with peace, I have nothing to worry for, other than a shelter over my head.

Lately, I seem to have lost my inquisitive nature and my mind seem to have been dulled and overloaded from the constant action of reading very weighted articles.

So today, I decided to do something crazy. It all started from my irritation with the SAM machine yesterday when I couldn't purchase a 26c stamp (meant for local postage). If I was not wrong, the coin slot was jammed. Furthermore, to purchase by NETS, you would need to buy above $2 worth of postage. So I proceeded to the next SAM machine. And then it hit me. How on earth do I pay for 26c at the SAM machine, when the darn machine only accepts 5c, 10c, 20c and 50c? Would it give me a discount of 1c or would it cheat me of 4c? Lady luck was not with me when the next SAM machine didn't have a coin slot. Hence, I thought I would try it at the post office the next day.

I wanted to challenge the PO. At the PO, I asked the lady if I could purchase just 1 26c stamp. And she said yes. I was perplexed and ask her how would she charge it. She said, 'You can give me 30c and I'll give you back 4c change'. 4c change??? Wait, hasn't Singapore discontinued its 1c coins? She replied, 'They have stopped minting it, but we have 1c coins as change'. Eh??? What would I do with the 1c coins then? Beaten by the system and sore that I cannot purchase just 1 26c local stamp, I opted to purchase 5. Beaten because they have the 1c as small change, whereas I, would have to safekeep them for use only when I buy stamps. Almost all other transactions are rounded up/down when paid by cash, ie. groceries, food, transportation..

Darn them bloodsuckers. Why don't they just change the value of the stamp to 25c?

At every chance of peace and stillness, appreciate it for the moment, absorb in the tranquility and be glad for the stability.

Nothing is eternal. Change is inevitable. We all just need to be prepared to embrace it.

Praying for stability, sanity and dissertation.

I just love this manga. Especially with the over-sized dog who loves bitting people's heads.

It is good that we are all out there living our life, not to be confined by what we HAVE to do, but to carve out for ourselves what we really LOVE doing. The part where we HAVE to do is of course a must, and one can choose whether to give one's heart deeply to it, or to search to see if one has another destiny to fulfill elsewhere.
I'm glad to say, I know some who are fulfilling their destiny elsewhere, yet staying grounded on what they HAVE to do.

I think I now know how she feels.

We all have our inferior complex, despite knowing that each of us have our forte. For the moment, I wanted to believe everything she said, but I couldn't, because it defied our inscribed logic, the rational of the mind. I could see how she couldn't stop comparing, unconsciously, because being somewhat alone, the constant mental and emotional battering builds up.

Maybe we all wonder why God gave us all disproportionate gifts and talent. I sometimes wish for certain talent that others may seem to excel in but would that make me entirely happy? I guess I've sort of found my form of escape, in another realm, of which I could be truly happy, but yet sustaining the reality of now. For her, the only way out was to stop. Stop before madness pursued. It is tough to battle the mind, but even harder to battle the ego.

Each of us want to, and hope to find our paradise. Some have found it earlier, some are on their way, some haven't.

The question is, how do we swim against the currents of what is trying to form us, so that we may form our own? How do we not fall into popular culture or rather, sieve out what should be and what should not? How do you transform a visionary utopia into an everyday wonderland?

The thing was, she said that she wanted to be entirely happy in every single step. But how can one do that? With just joy, there is no sorrow. Like how can there be yin without the yang? Life is not all thin and no fat, no night just day. If so, we would have been an entirely different species altogether.

Sometimes, I wonder, what did I do to deserve such kindness and affection?
I wonder if what I have given in return (if I did) could ever measure up?

We all do not need hindsight to tell us that God has never forsaken us. He merely made us live out the path carved out for us so that we learn, we become the knower with knowledge by knowing how to.

look for the manifestation of God in the spiritual self.

do, and understand the deeper meaning of each action, not just as an outward action, but an inner journey into the soul.

be enlightened, and reflect it to others. God dwells deep in us.


“Whatever relationships you have attracted in your life at this moment, are precisely the ones you need in your life at this moment. There is a hidden meaning behind all events, and this hidden meaning is serving your own evolution.”
-Deepak Chopra-

the secret to happiness is doing what makes you feel truly happy with truly happy people around you.



now i know what is meant by persistence in smiling will reward with a smile in return someday. it works!

And with that bow, time slowed, the smile came naturally, hearts connected, like teacher and disciple, like mentor and student.

Though I chose to miss you, you didn’t miss me. You sometimes walk in the shadows, watching, if not, listening. With that alone, I know you are someone destined for wonders. And I will follow until every sweat and energy has been depleted, and then the baton is mine.

God said to place your trust in Him, with all your might, heart and soul, and with that, He will make sure that no harm is done upon you. I have placed my trust in Him, wholly and I surrendered it to Him, and He in return, gave me the greatest Gurus that I can have. With that, I place my whole trust in them, surrender and not resist, and have faith that eventually, I will rise because of their goodness and that you have given the most valuable but rare gem to them, your trust. God is good but He does not want us to live in blind faith. He has laid a path for all of us, but it's up to us to realize it. That's why he gave us intuition to lead us onto the path, but silencing this intuition, can be the greatest damage to the self.

I pray for those who are still searching in the dark and walking blindly beside the walls.

I don't know which is better.

To deal with a man who's too egoistical, or to deal with one who's very emotional.

At least with the egoistical one, you can easily brush him off , but the one's who's emotional gets you worried.

How does one reply to a man who tells you that he's feeling very upset in a situation I myself find quite trivial?

I still don't know how to deal with men. Lord guide me!

I probably have all the people that I've met in the past year to thank, for letting me regain my (in)sanity once again. For reviving my childish laughter, and to learn to take things with a pinch of salt.

I understand the greater plan and purpose now.

Save me a seat.

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy will one day walk on water?
Did you know
That your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
Will soon deliver you

From 'Mary did you know' by Mark Lowry

Easter is just around the corner and as we approach it, we ought to take time to reflect upon what it means to us and Christians around the world. Why is Christ's resurrection so important for us to celebrate? What does it symbolize?
Also, it is important to recognize Mother Mary's role, as God's choice to bear His son, and her influence on the baby Jesus. It is often said that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. Why is Mary spoken so much about but not Joseph? There has to be some sort of importance that gives Mary so much significance in the history of Christianity that we ought not to overlook.

Often enough, we look at the subject matter on its own, but we tend to forget the context that allows for its occurance.

What will this Easter mean to you?

I thought I was lucky when I saw this
It was simply, surreal.
As though it appeared for a split second just for me.
I got lost in his world.
I nearly wanted to pick up what wasn't mine.

Wondering where have my Kodak moments gone to?
Thinking if bigger means better
I nearly wanted to pick up what wasn't mine.

Some things in life gets blown out of proportion, especially for us myopic people. We tend to see things at a closer angle, narrower vision. We forget, again and again, that sometimes, we miss the bigger picture. To be able to see that bigger picture is quite a rare feat.

When you see the bigger picture from a distance, you learn appreciate it better. Somehow.
I am thankful for the great teachers I've had this year, to help me see further, no less.

Talking Pretty

I was just reading an article which made me reflect much on daily conversations with people. Over time, I've learned to observe the way people talk and respond to questions. I notice that a lot of people, more often than not, get carried away with a conversation that puts them through as egoistical or a know-all. Of course birds of the same feather tend to bask in it as well, but most of the time, the conversation ends up pretty mindless and wasteful. I know there's nothing wrong with talking crap, but I don't know why people can't be more mindful about their speech. People always seem eager to voice out their thoughts and speech. I need to be more mindful of mine too, for I often appear cynical or a vented out pot. I collect my thoughts, play them over in my mind, and then gush everything out at unbeatable speed.

Sometimes we say unnecessary things, things that may impact the way others think or spoil a relationship. Unnecessary words that stir emotions or anger or rife. We should all speak of truth and kindness, speak only when necessary but not do damage unto others. After all, who are we to play the Devil's advocate.

Why is it possible to love some and not all? Why is it so hard to love unconditionally and not be biased towards some? Why do people discriminate? Maybe when we achieve perfection, then it's easier to love others?

People always tend to miss the bigger picture. They only see up to the point that is the biggest they can see, and stop there.

Don't you think?

No news is good news.

Ok, shall update a bit.

Let's see....

I chopped my hair short. Really short.

Hmm.... I've lost my tan altogether and gave up trying. Now I don't understand why people want to purposely tan themselves and I think it's dumb of them to. Anyway, it's just my opinion. Natural skin colour is 'in'.

I've finally got my PR ( yes, I get to pay $600 less for school fees although the application costs $200, so that means $400 offset, still decent, not because I'm desperate to integrate)

Urm.... I'm still working and wish I don't need to quit? Damn the Masters (but yet, I'm happy to return to school somewhat)

Resolutions for 2008

1. Healthy eating, living and have loads of sleep. I can never repeat what I used to do in my undergrad days... 3.5 hours of sleep!
2. Grow in spiritual strength
3. Always be happy, energetic and positive
4. Lead a balance life
5. Maintain worthy friendships and not go broke
6. Maintain a healthy 'me' time
7. Make a trip with ex-schoolmates from Pg. It's about time for a decent reunion. I'm seeing more pfs guys here in sg than cgl girls. rarrrr!
8. Find a rich expat banker/CEO to buy me a nice bungalow

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ok. i think no. 8 is somewhat impossible, but no harm dreaming ya?


Happy year of the Rat!