26.2 Ways Running Marathons has Changed Me

This month marks the one year anniversary of my life as a marathoner. In that year, I have completed 10 half marathons, 12 full marathons, a 51k, a 50 miler, and 80 miles in 24 hours. This year has changed my life in the following ways:

1. I know I can do anything. I know that if I want to run across California or up the tallest mountain, or 7 marathons in 7 days (which I will do next week), I can. I can do anything I put my mind to. My mom always told me that, but when it came to athletic endeavors, I didn't believe her. I do now.

2. My body has changed. I am so strong and ready for the crazy things my mind comes up with (or my friends inspire me to do).

3. My view of my body has changed. I no longer look at my legs as short, stumpy, and ugly. I know they are beautiful modes of transportation, capable of carrying me through the woods or down any street I so desire.

4. I smile more. No further explanation needed.

5. I have inspired others to get crazy in their running. My husband for example. A year ago, he didn't see any benefit in endurance running. Now, he is a 100 mile buckle owner. I am proud to know I had a part in that.

5. I have beautiful medals to show for all my hard work. Who doesn't like having the feeling of a winner at the finish line? Those medals are a visual, long lasting reminder of my awesomeness!

6. My kids think I am awesome. I am pretty sure they did before, but now they remind me often. My daughter asks me, "Mommy, when is OUR next marathon?" and my son says, "Mommy, you are such an awesome runner. You make it look easy." Who doesn't want their kids to think they are total rock stars?

7. I belong to the most insane running club on the planet - The Marathon Maniacs. See one at a race? Say hi, we're all pretty amazing with a story to tell!

8. I constantly think of new ways to push myself. I love the challenge that running further, faster, and higher gives me. Refer back to 4.

9. I have a really cool collection of race shirts. In fact, they have outgrown the drawer and have a significant portion of my closet. Love them all, for different reasons.

10. I ran a race dressed as Captain Hook. It doesn't get any better than that!

11. I haven't had all 10 toenails at one time in a year. My feet will NEVER be the same. Since toenails are for sissies, that's ok.

12. I have spent a lot of time defending my desires to run. The more I do it, the more I am called crazy, obsessed, etc. Some are poking fun and kidding, others are honestly negative. I don't understand why others find it necessary to be that way, but that is an entire post in itself.

13. We plan our weekends around our race schedule(s) and wouldn't have it any other way.

14. I have volunteered at several events this past year. Whether it was a 5k in honor of a murdered teenager, or a difficult 100 miler, I have left feeling more alive and grateful than ever. I love runners and the spirit they bring to our sport.

15. I met the most awesome race announcer on the planet, Rudy Novotny. There is nothing like being called into the finish like an elite athlete. Thank you for the memories, Rudy!

16. I became part of the Jesternation. Do you know Ed "The Jester" Ettinghausen? His spirit and limitless running adventures inspire me to push harder, run farther, and cheer louder than I knew was possible. Thanks Ed!

17. There are countless others I met this year that have left an impression on my heart. So many Maniacs, ultra heroes, race directors, and runners that have cheered for me, cried with me, and showed me that my only limits are in my head.

18. I learned terms like bonk, fartlek, PR, and tempo run. I think I speak a different language now!

19. I have learned it is ok to enjoy the journey. I don't have to run faster than my last race. I don't have to beat anyone else. What I do require of myself is to have fun and be proud of myself. I love to take pictures, chat with friends, and share the love of the journey with others on the course. I rode a roller coaster during a marathon! How's that for a great memory?

20. I have cheered with Colby and Ed until the last runner came into the finish. Have you done that? Do it. I promise you'll never be the same.

21. I have learned that some races are harder than others, some are better organized, more fun, and memorable, but they are all worth doing. They all taught me something.

22. I have ran through the Magic Kingdom, on the 163 Freeway, through the Pacific Crest Trail, up and down Hollywood Blvd., and in a circle for 80 miles. Again, each offered a new lesson, a new memory, a new challenge and confirmed my love of the sport.

23. I have learned that chafing is not joke. Ouch. Bodyglide is your friend!

24. My doctor calls me hardcore every time I see him. I can't help but smile. I have learned to wear closed toed shoes around him. He likes to make a habit of removing my toenails. See number 11.

25. A year ago I was scared I would fail. I was scared that I couldn't run a marathon. Now I know some will be tougher and slower, but I can get them done. Confidence is a beautiful thing.

26. I feel left out if I don't do a race my friends do. Thanks to Facebook I get to live vicariously through them, but I can't help but always wish I was there!

26.2 can be summed up in this picture:

Buckle Quest Part III

War Wounds and Regrets Reflections

80 is not old if you're a tree.
The game PAC-Man was released in 1980.
According to the Marine Corps "80 is gravy".
Ed Ettinghausen said "80 miles is friggin hard"
An 80 is good enough to pass grad school.
Moses was 80 when he initially spoke to Pharaoh.
You can go "Around the world in 80 days" with a classic novel.

So why was 80 such a disappointment at Nanny Goat?


80. Not 100. That is why 80 wasn't good enough. I am a type A overachieving perfectionist that missed my goal. I wanted a buckle and didn't get it. 80 wasn't gravy, but it felt like a big fat failure.

I had a serious down period after this race. I didn't feel accomplished at all. I didn't see that 80 miles is HUGE. I only saw that I didn't buckle. I cried when I looked at pictures of other people that met their goals at Nanny Goat. I was so proud for them and wanted that feeling.

Part of the reason I love races is sharing that sense of accomplishment with my friends. Since I didn't feel it this time,  I felt left out.

I can't say that I have regrets about stopping at 23 hours. I wasn't going to make the 86 miles in 24 hour cut off, so I made the decision to stop at 80. I am ok with that. What I do regret is not pushing myself earlier to make more time to get to that cut off. I regret that at some point in the night I told myself that I was done running. I had done the math and determined I had enough time to walk the rest. The first mistake was that my genius math skills did not account for slowing over time and that math at 1:00 am (especially after running dozens of miles) is unreliable.

I gave up on myself hours before I stopped at 80 miles. I should have eaten more, tried coffee or an energy drink, or tried to run more. In that, lie my regrets. Whether I was physically capable of going faster, I will never know because I didn't try. At mile 66 when I got out of the tent, why didn't I run? At mile 70 when I saw others running, why didn't I even try? The change of pace may have made all the difference in the world. I didn't give myself the chance to find out.

I did have war wounds to show for my 80 miles. The waist band on my shorts ate up my back and my shoes chewed up my feet.

 

Apparently some wardrobe adjustments are necessary, because I am not done with the Buckle Quest. I told myself in the middle of Nanny Goat that the quest to complete a 100 mile foot race is 'stupid hard'. It wasn't something I needed. Yeah right. Remember the type A perfectionist? She can't live with an unaccomplished goal. So, Buckle Quest 2.0 was born soon after I hung my Nanny Goat medal on the rack. I will learn from this, train harder, and kick some serious 100 ass next time.

There are several things to do differently:

1. I need to have a fresh pacer or pacers during the night. Brady and I love each other and know each other too much to be good together at that hour. We were both too tired to push the other. We know where the other one hurts and definately were not afraid to dwell on it. Not a good idea. We need to take turns running and crewing for each other or find other people to help us.

2. I need to eat more. I think a problem I had in the middle of the night was hunger. By the time the hunger pains started, it was probably too late to keep them from affecting my race. I needed to be snacking more often after 8:00 pm (my last meal at Nanny)

3.  I need to have positive self talk and remember to pull myself out of the dark places. The pacers will help here, but I also need to pull myself out of the hole and get going when the race is at it's toughest. That is where the accomplishment comes from. Knowing it is tough, knowing it is kicking your butt, but still being able to accomplish what you set out to do. I live for that!

Buckle Quest 2.0 will commence at the Run-de-Vous 100 in August (http://www.run-de-vous.com). Stay tuned, because I promise to keep you posted on the progress!

Post Script - I have been sick since Leona Divide. Every time I ran I was affected by severe coughing. I thought it was a lingering cold and put off going to the doctor until June 4. After breathing and blood tests my doctor diagnosed me with walking pneumonia. He said my oxygen levels were low and wondered how I was able to run at all, much less 80 miles. My friend Rob said that I get a "Nanny Goat do-over".  If I had been healthy, was 100 possible? Who knows. Who cares. It is a new day and after antibiotics and an inhaler, I am back to near 100%. Looking forward to the next adventure!