sometimes, girls just need their other half to always remember them.

right now, in this moment, I feel like I'm totally forgotten.
totally disgusted and annoyed with this feeling i've now. where has my security flew away to?

):

pressure.

I keep crying out to the Lord, "help me. I'm helpless at this moment."

my heart aches for the girls. Lord, how much i want to help them but i have no ability to do so. I keep praying Lord, for your miracles and wonders to happen. I know they'll happen but I do not know when.

today, during worship, I kept interceding for them. I cried out to you Lord for them. tears kept rolling down my cheeks. because I was assured that you are always there with me. Lord, once more you told me, "I will not put you through tests that you cannot bear."

Father, strengthen my heart that I may be strong. Give me strength that will enable me to soar like an eagle high up with you. Give me hope when I see no light. Give me empowerment that I'll be able to speak words of life into the lives of the girls. Give me wisdom to make the right choices and discern the right things. Lord, walk with me through this battle. Fight with me in this battle.

your love is amazing. sometimes, I really want to bow down and say, "I can't do it" but then i realised there's really no point in saying that. I can only move on from here. I can't look back anymore now that I've started. Lord, I'm starting to feel the burden for the community in an increasing measure. It's putting on so much stress on me yet I feel so safe and secure knowing that Lord, your name is powerful and that with your name, I can fight and chase away demons and evil spirits. I can fight from victory. Lord, thank you for always being with me.

Friends, pray for me. for increasing measure of strength and wisdom. pray for me that i'll continue to desire the word of God in increasing measure more than ever before.
tmr is monday, gonna spend the whole day seeking the Lord. (:

I'll update on any revelations i get tmr.

tests and trials

Dear Lord,
Please help me and help my girls.
help me to fight from victory. Teach me you ways, dear Lord.
my heart aches for the girls. You hear our cries from our hearts. May you fight for us Lord, Stand by our sides and deliver us from the enemie's opposition. May we carry your presence with us wherever we go.
In Jesus' name i pray, Amen.


This week has really been tough.
But once again, the Lord has rescued me.

The girls have faced opposition from their families to come to church once again. I already lost one of them. and my heart aches non-stop. The rest are plainly dejected and upset. I can't do this all alone and once again I learnt that only God can fight this battle for me.

Saturday, a car reverse and banged Jeff's car. I was at the left hand side of the driver. If Jeff had not reverse fast enough, I would be hurt. Thank God for his mercy on me.
And when i reached church for cell-group, issues arised during cell group. It was so painful for me to handle but yet God gave me the strength and courage to carry on leading the group.
Then after the prayer meeting, I had major muscle cramps at my spinal area.
I did not go for service today because of my back. Thank God, the muscle cramps had subsided and I'm okay again.

I really do not know if all these are really Spiritual Attacks. The only thing I know is that as long as I put on the armor of God and hold the shield of faith with the sword of the Word, the enemy will flee.

now, even as I type this blog, I feel rather dejected but yet I know that my God is a Great God. He'll deliver me from my fears and from all the difficult situations that are awaiting for me to resolve. Crying does not solve anything now. only prayers do.


p.s ina, i'm glad you're encouraged. hope to meet up with you, but i'm really busy. sorry that i have not smsed you when your dad was hospitalised. It's not that I didn't bother, I was really caught up. then u left for korea, and i forgot all about that! But i'm glad you're back already safe and sound (: really hope to meet you soon but it seems like i'm SO SO SO SO Packed. btw, I want to go for guitar lessons with you. I was hoping to be able to play my guitar properly for my wedding and also worship for cell group ah! haha.
SMS ME OK!? I love you lots lots.

Brand New.

Joshua 1:8
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you whenever you go.

2 years ago, I have used this verse as my msn name as it really encouraged me a lot. 2 years later, I am still clinging on to this verse. as I study Joshua, the kind of man he is, I really admire Him a lot.
(Jeff said he wants his son to be named Joseph. Now, i feel that my 2nd son will be named Joshua. )

I have decided to transform this blog that used to be solely for my purpose to a blog that is like of a Spiritual Journal where I'll record all things that the Lord has shown me or revealed to me.

I have been repeating it again and again, that this year has been amazing, amazing and amazing. God has shown me favor again and again. He has been honoring me again and again. I really thank God for all His favor and blessings that had been upon me.

Recently, I've been embracing a book titled 'Following God with All Your Heart'. This book has been a blessing to me. In times like this, when I'm specifically called by God to do His work, this book has gave me plenty of encouragement.

As I reflect, I realised God has been preparing me all these while. It has been almost 4 years since I joined BBTC and became a BBTCian. I went through the ups and downs in church dealing with issues one by one. And today, I can proudly proclaim that, I've resolved at least 90% of my issues. Praise God for that (:

A few things I would like to give thanks for:
1) When I first joined the tuition centre working in this ministry to honor God, I only received an allowance of $400 plus. Now, God has given me almost 5 times as much. Praise God!
What I can really say is that, place your focus on God, be Faithful in little and more will be given.

2) God has used the past one year to prepare me to lead the 'Youth of Blessings' My cell group which initially started of with 4 girls but now I have 6 girls. I've learnt a lot through leading a cell group.

3) Transformation that comes from God. For the last 3 years +, I did not spend any time with God, any solitude time with God. I did not know what it meant by spending time with God. But now, God has put into me a desire for His word, for His presence. My faith have been growing.

4) Joy that comes from within. Thank God for the heart of overflowing joy. Even when things get a bit difficult, I do not fear but I am able to Praise and give thanks for all.


I really want to transfrom from 'ME' to 'God' to 'You'. I don't want to be self-centred but be here to serve others.

As Jeffrey and I prepare for marriage life, I think God is teaching us a lot. This year, we started to do couple devotions together and I really learnt a lot. My prayer is that both of us will continue to grow in the Lord and our household will serve Him all the days of our lives.


Last week, God said to me. "time is running out. I'm building you up in the fastest time as possible. Tests will come after tests. but there'll be no test that you cannot bear."

My christian friends, if God has put into us the same Spirit, how long more do you think it'll take for Jesus to return back for us? If you've a certain timeline in your heart, what are you doing about it? Are you still lukewarm? God wants us to listen out for Him, for His word, for His will. Obey Him my dear friends. Stop being of the world and return back to Him. Trials and Tribulations are gonna increase as time goes by. Are you prepared?

Time is really running out. The birth pangs have already started. It'll continue in increasing measure. Be prepared my dear friends.


I normally take Mondays to spend time with God. And I am really blessed by this time with God. Worship, Prayers, Bible Study Homework, my younger cell group preparation, personal devotion. Now, I can spend hours and hours just with God. It's a great transformation from the Past!

God loves us so deeply.

long time.

everytime i post. it means i got some extra time on hand or it means that i've some things to say.
haha.

i think besides ina, no one reads my blog. haha.

these year has been a little crazy for me. I think for close to 3 months straight, I've been WORKING LIKE MAD! haha. teaching, planning, and more teaching!

I really thank thank God for bring me through all these while.
My cell group girls are growing, they're starting to come for church service more regularly, we are getting closer to one another! I really praise God for that! and more girls would be coming in the following week! Awesome (:

Last week, I organised an outing with the girls. Treated them to a meal at pizza hut and bowling games. I really feel so blessed being able to take care of these girls, being their big sister, teaching them english, teaching them the word of God.

Yesterday, I organised an outreach event for the students at my tuition centre.
I really hope that in future, I'll be able to have more help in the event.:/
I really that God for the opportunity to allow me to share my message with the students. (:

I feel so so tired yet refreshed. haha.

All glory and praise to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

looking forward to our wedding.

i felt the sudden urge to blog in the wee hours of the night.
hmm.

recently, I've been so occupied with teaching, administrative stuff and meeting up with friends.
I really thank God for a fruitful one month in year 2010 so far. Once again, my eyes are open to the wonders and amazing love of God.

I bumped into Lynn at my void deck beneath my block. She owns an adorable yet intelligent poodle. Recently, I found out she does private tuition and there are plenty of things that I can learn from her. Really thank God for her. I believe that nothing happens for no reason. (:
And so, now i'm doing some work for her which also means extra savings for marriage (: how glad I really am.

Anyway, I strongly believe that this year 2010 will be a fabulous year for me where I'll be able to be moulded into something more remarkable than my old self & also a year where I'll simply grow more mature and outgrow my peers. perhaps because, I'm preparing myself to be someone's wife and also because I'm teaching.

Teaching really makes a person more mature. It brings out wisdom in you. but most importantly, not to be proud in yourself but in the God who gave you this knowledge and capability.

I, no longer look down at my profession as a full time tutor even when i'm surrounded my MOE teachers. I learnt a lot from Lynn. Sometimes, a tutor can do better than trained teachers. Not that I'm saying I'm better, but I want to believe that what trained teachers can do, I am able to do too! (:
apologies to all my MOE teacher friends. HAHA. i still love you all ALOT!

At times, I feel so inferior to them but no longer! Because God wired me this way. And I gladly accept it!


andand, I LOVE MY CELL GIRLS. THEY'RE SO ADORABLE!
hahaha. I pray that the Lord will continue to grant me wisdom and a heart of compassion for these girls. And the no.5 is growing to no.7 (:
May the Lord bless me with a co-leader too. Someone who has the same passion as me for the community youths, someone who is able to teach english. Someone whom i can get a long with and be good friends with. Someone whom I can learn from and teach too at the same time. LORD, please grant me that person (:

I LOVE YOU, JESUS. you're so so wonderful (:

welcoming the year 2010

one year flew by so quickly.
in 2 days time, we've to bid the year 2009 goodbye.

I'm really thankful i pulled through.
glad that the year is ending off so well for me.
when i thought i would not pull through, I managed to survived!
Praise God for that (:

This year was an exceptionally special year for me. Being through all the trials have made me a stronger person.
thank God for His grace and mercy upon me.

(: