It's been one whole year of me having straight tresses. Although maintenance was good, but hey, it's damn boring you know! Seeing straight hair all the time made me felt not that glamorous at some points in my life. For example, straight hair with Saree. It may look awesome for some Sarees (depending on design) but not all! :(
I looked terrible for one of the evenings I remember. This was during the initial stages of post-rebonding. My usual procedure on seeing if I looked good the whole night is by checking myself out in the mirror right after the event. Most of the time with curls, my "saree" nights were good. Straight hair, man those nights were such failure! I looked 5 years older or something! Man what was I thinking then?
I realise that I can take straight hair for most modern outfits but not the traditional ones. With curls, my God, any look is like a breeze for me. I just need to gear up on my Leave-in conditoner, Mousse and some shine lotion (if needed) and Poof! My Tresses Brings the life in me!
With curls, I can do tons of things to it! I can even define the curl with my curling tong and the curl stays unlike my ex rebonded hair, which I tried to curl it so many times, end up being straight in less then a minute. And Thats AFTER 2 F-ING(*fishing -- censorship lah) HOURS OF CURLING THE HAIR WITH HOT CURLING TONG! HMMPH! (2 hours is because them hair is damn thick!)
Oh Well, I guess I am glad that I am getting back the "Beyonce Sen" look (haha! my ex BMC mates would know this term). I can't wait for them hair to grow faster as the Longer it grows, the glamorous it gets during styling!
Oh and I heard that there are more evening functions to attend to, meaning traditional events, also meaning to say that I got to be in Sarees. Hmmmm....BRING IT ON!
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 6:34 PM
Sorry for being typically emo for the past post.
But lately, I have been in such state for quite sometime.
Major incidents have happened during End of March and Beginning of April, in which I will not disclose them here. Oh Well, somehow or rather I manage to get myself composed and try to see things positively.
I had major melancholic attacks in April. After much drilling and screwing the nut and bolt in my brain cells by others of whom I did not listen to initially, I sat down, ponder and listed all the attributes that hit my heart to allow the feel of being demolished. I started to think so much till I had formed delta-like lines on my cheeks with continuous flow of the salty river from the eye. Splitting headaches, swollen face and almost bloodshot eyes were the results of such vehemence that was released due to my irascibility.
After knowing the mess created, I tried to clean up slowly but carefully. I tried my very best not to make another scene or tried to react whenever something spark to get me irascible. I was thought using a theory of counting 1 to 5 during the encounter. It did help, but this not a permanent cure. End of the day, it's on how I go about handling the encounters in a way which will not affect anyone. Not even the particular party who caused the encounter. Deep down in my heart, I know for sure, there will be a day where those people will have a price to pay to the One above us. I leave it to Him to decide on the punishment as I know that I cannot take such heavy responsibilities on correcting individuals who are such a pain, regardless of whatever.
I've learn to make full use of the term "BOCHUP" (* not bothered) whenever such incidents arise. I am not a master of that skill yet, but managing gradually, and hopefully, I would earn at least a Masters in it.
I have started to look forward to exciting things in life. Say for example, the World Cup 2010! To my surprise, the Grand Finals are on my Birthday! I just pray that my favourite team goes up to that level.
BRASIIILLLL...LA La La La La La La Laaaahhhhhh...
Hehehe..I know they didn't make it the last round but I still have faith in the Samba Rhythm that they will and always produce at this World known event!
I don't know if this birthday thingy will work but then, if it doesn't, World Cup, please make my day! :P
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 10:12 AM
It's been more then 2 months since I have blogged!
Hmm..well, what can I say about the Year of the Tiger?
I have been hearing that it's not gonna be that great this year. It might be like how 2008 would be. Or even worse. Somehow, I agree with the latter.
Beginning of the year was good. Merry making with regards to New Year's Eve, followed by the long weekend, thanks to the Chinese New Year holidays. When it comes to March, hmmm....
Although there's going to be lots of Weddings, ROMs, Engagements etc, I just have this dark sense that something devastating could happen this year. True enough, the universe tend to play with my surroundings and it's causing me to lose control of my situations. I feel that I have lost one of the biggest battles in life, which is really not OK at all.
I do not wish to share it here but it has affected me so badly that I am struggling to concentrate on crucial matters around me at work or anywhere. No matter how much I don't want to think about it, deep down it's coming back. It's like a haunting of some evil chant or something. I don't know.
To be honest, I am not that of a spiritual geek but, if it's the universe which is doing this, I'd better seek the Highest Rank of All to get this universe straight that this is my path and I am the only one walking on it and nothing else.
I hope the Almighty understands my pain and agony on what they have written for me. Does He really want me to go through something so painful? Does He really want to see his child whom he have created suffer? Does he? Really?
I understand the point that whatever happens, it happens for the best. But seriously, Dear Lord, is this really for the best you are doing this? I need some answers. I demand as it's my life! Just because you created me does not mean that I am your puppet! If that's the case, you have made a mistake by adding subjects in us called, "FEELINGS & EMOTIONS".
I am so sorry, I just couldn't hold myself together. Please forgive my actions but I have really come to a point which I cannot control.
Om Shakti, please give me the strength to hold on to this. I love you more than anything in the world.
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 11:35 AM
Well well, it's been really a while that I have actually typed about issues, ya?
Great News is that I got something which is sort of what I wanted in life. Bad news is, I gonna quit some of the things I love doing before.
Probably I will be only doing my freelance stuff ONLY if I happen to be free. It's all due to the new career I am in. HA! I used the word Career instead of Job. Yinteresting you might think.
There's lots of planning to do for the next year. Oh wait! If I am not mistaken, there's 22 days left for the new year. A new beginning once again. This time, this new beginning got lots of planning to do. I gotta start planning for new stuff that I wanna take up, start planning on my financial situations and moreover, gotta start planning on the next step in life.
Coming back to the 22 days, do you know how fast these 22 days will become 0 days? The world is spinning instead of rotating. No wonder they say the world is "shrinking". Shrinking by having high technology and getting things done fast instead of those days where you really feel things take a longer time then now.
Another thought has come to my head. After catching 2012 and after receiving such messages like the world is ending in 2012 via mobile phone, it got me started thinking about how I was suppose to react when such a thing occurs. What can be done? Where do I go? What if I get sucked into the earth's core? Which other world will I end up living in? Will I get married by then? How do I survive this? If I am dead, is it heaven or hell? What about the people around me? Will they be fine? And etc, etc & etc....
By reading these questions might make you laugh. Think again. It's really something sad and scary to think about. If there's a Fire in the building, we can handle. Earthquake, can handle. THIS MAJOR DISASTER where the world is affected? HOW?? WHAT?? WHEN?? WHERE is answered. But, WHY? Why must this happen? Is God bored of having the same kind of world? But this world is so beautiful! Why God? Why? Is it true that the world is going to end? If this really happens, do you how inconsiderate can you be? People who have been innocent in their whole lives will die from this! Ok ok..there I go thinking to much again.
Well, bottom line is, we just gotta live day by day. If it happens, it happens for some reason. My frustration on God for this is pointless actually. Maybe He has better options for us. We will never know until the day has finally come.
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 6:12 PM
The weather in Singapore is horrible.
I have lost interest in my time killer which only make me earn peanuts.
I have no mood to talk on the phone.
I feel exhausted.
I want to sleep for many hours.
I want to focus on my dream to make it a reality.
I need positive support from various individuals.
I hate all the negative energy around me.
I hope God is reading what is typed here.
End.
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 3:01 PM
I think I am a making a good move here.
With all that Mambo Jumbo happened in the previous week, I started analysing a lot of things.
Little things like what has happened before and what is happening now.
When I start thinking of what happened before in the previous years, specifically the bad moments, I start to get a huge melancholy feel fluctuating in my heart. I could literally feel the veins and arteries burning. Tear glands overworked themselves for excessive production of tears to constantly flow down to my cheeks.
It was a horrible feeling or state to be in, until you just want to keep on telling yourself that it's you who caused the whole damn thing and if you were not around, things would have been better for the rest instead. Oh god. So melodramatic. But yes, I was at that point of time.
On the other hand, I think the good angel on one side hit me real hard with it's harp. Bringing me back to my senses on asking why did I have to do that now. Why did I have to think of what happened and weep about it when it's not happening anymore. I answered: Memories.
But wait, memories are suppose be good things right? Then what do you call thoughts that are only consisting of bad things? Hmmm... Something to ponder about eh?
Things happen for a reason. Thats a common saying. But the reason is not found yet until we find out for ourselves in the long run. And not to worry, it will be a good one and I believe in that. So should anyone. Have happy thoughts instead of grudges, hatred, betrayal and other negative factors that attracts you to the world to Hell. You will definitely see the world tuning to your kind of channel.
Henceforth, I have made a small vow to myself that I should not hold my frustrations and personal bad experiences lingering in that tiny spot in my brain. Let it go and let it be. If it's meant to be, so be it. Why worry about what happen then? Worry on what's happening now and plan for what's going to happen for the future. Throw the past, Live for the present, Plan for the future.
This is what I should do and what I should be doing. If those who want to think I am selfish on my decision and behaviour, well, I can only tell them to look at themselves on the mirror and ask themselves if they plan to do something about their lives.
Everyone needs to do something about their lives. No one else does it for you except yourself. Remember this.
Trust me, it's hard but a good learning journey which is never ending!
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 3:05 PM
I got my brushes!
They are really fantastic. I was so happy till I took pictures of my facework. :)
I have posted one of the pictures here. Have a look.
I know. You don't need to tell me. :P
Well then, let's get back to reality shall we?
Apparently some incidents happen that has made me in a situation where I am nowhere here or there. Some tell me not to bother and move on. Some tell me that they need time to move on. Some tell me to keep trying harder and make things happen.
End of the day, I just feel that this whole thing has been caused by me and only I need to solve this. Moving away from selective parties was the ultimate desicion in my head. It has actually been there for a long time. When I think about my decision, I know it was irrational to do it. Below are the following points which explains the good & disastrous effects of my decision.
1. No more room for such incidents and all will be happier in that sense.
2. No more hatred to occur at anytime.
2. Giving room and ample space for the following parties to be back together as how they were before.
3. Loosing Great people whom I know for almost half a decade.
You see, out of the 4 points stated, 3 are positive points to look for. But when I think of the last point, my heart weakens. A sudden pain comes in a flash and it will reoccur again & again until it becomes permanent. Sometimes, I really wish I had a memory loss so that I can forget what has happen and start life anew. Impossible I know. But it's just a emo feeling which I can't take it for a long period of time.
Well, maybe these things were suppose to happen. Last for most, some said I changed. For the better or for the worst? I don't realise any change in me.
Confused I would say. I am very confused.
;(
posted by ..BLaCkDiVa.. @ 3:46 PM
