A confession to make.

My beloved friends. I love all of you!!
You all are my life-support system. In times when I'm so down I don't feel like reacting anymore, you all are the ones supporting me and all.

1st is my dearest who seems to know when i'm always in trouble. always appearing when i'm in need of help. love ya. muacks~

2nd is another dear girl. the first friend i make in jss, excluding the other girl who transferred out. silence is what keeps our friendship stable and strong. though we always bully each other. lol~ love ya~

3rd is yet another dear girl who supports me silently at the back. though we meet up not so often, thanks for all the encouragement and stuff. really appreciate them. ^^

4th is this girl who seems to know more about my brother than i do. lol~ i'm the one who leads her to gaming. kekeke~ and we bully each other lots also. love ya~

5th is this guy who looks blur and confused everytime but trust me, he isn't. he knows more than he lets on. thanks for being a good friend, eh. ^^

6th is this girl from ninjado who always whack me until very badly tt i siamed from her everytime when shihan asked to spar. great to have her as a friend coz she is someone who'll literally whack senses into you. haha. i guess i need this type of ppl with me also. lol~ thanks girl~

there are too many things to tell each and everyone of you. hope u know who you are~~ ^^
and of course there are more friends out there who are my life-support system. But you can't possibly tell me to name all ba, one whole page of blog also not enough. haha~

As what dear has stated in her blog, we most probably will be doing KOF for next year's cosfest. Haha~
Anyway, we haven't confirmed on anything yet. ^^

Ahh~ I dun wanna do those cheerful characters liao.... Don't wanna act hyper. Don't want characters who always laugh. Coz i got cramps on my mouth after posing for camera. lol~
somemore when i smiled widely, my nose became bigger. sobzz...

Anyway, i still got Saya in line. Hmmm...

Meroko - cheerful... sobzz....
Ritsuka - act cute, act emo...
Maya - phew... still ok. can act fierce. lol~
Quatre - arghh... how to act seh....
Uranus - act fierce. or smile a bit. lol.
Yuuri - gosh... act blur....
Minato - act emotionless.... lol~
Okita - ahhh... but at least i got tetsu to bully. lol~
Alexiel - hmmm...

Some of my fav photos from Dear~ Thanks~ Still got many, but too troublesome to put here. lol~ MAke-up wasn't very good for Konoe. Shall do better next time. Haha~

Next coming up~

Meroko [PS]
- Haven't gotten anything yet...

Ritsuka [Streetfest & PS]
- Left blue buttoned shirt
- Wig styling

Maya [Cosfest]
- Left tabi to buy
- Lens to buy
- Costume in the making, wig ordered
- Geta gotten

Quatre [Cosfest]
- Wig gotten, but haven't cut yet
- Haven't bought anything yet
- Lens to buy

Uranus [Coscon]
- Wig gotten
- Costume not yet tailor
- Boots gotten but needa make boot cover

Yuuri [EOY]
- Top to make
- Wig to get
- Black lens to get

Tenou [PS]
- Costume in the making
- Wig ordered
- Boots already have

Pending plans for this year:
- Tsubasa Chronicles Photoshoot
- EVA photoshoot again

I realise i need to do characters with collars then will look better, coz i realise i got a long neck. ~_^" and a short body. sobzz...

Evangelion Photoshoot Tomorrow!!

For the photos, if we feel uncomfortable to put it on sgcafe, then we'll just keep it in our computer. ^_^
Tomorrow is cosplay, no hard feelings or anything pls. Coz there might be poses that might get me killed. sobz. haha~

If we do put it on sgcafe and receive comments(which i hope are good comments or constructive criticism), then it's good also. We can improve. However if we receive stupid comments, then we'll just ignore it.

Anything just sms me, coz i'll be out of the house early in the morning at 10am. I'm going school to hand in my application form first, then i going JE to buy my contacts and maybe a cheap watch for Asuka, then i go over woodlands.

======================
Below is just some deep thinking that came to my mind today...

Sometimes there are things that are difficult to say, yet it hurts to keep it in. But knowing that it'll just complicate things up, it's okay to bear with that.
Sometimes i don't even understand it. There is no confirmation, that i can give to myself or anyone else. Sometimes i feel that i'm not really a human. That maybe i'm just a computer here to collect data. Maybe i've ventured too far off reality that i'm not really standing right on reality ground.
Sometimes i think i think too much about unnecessary stuff and sometimes i don't even understand or know the real reason to what i feel.
Sometimes my mind ventures back to the past and think... but there are many things that i don't remember. Only very small items were remembered, all others are from photos.
Sometimes my dreams feel so real, i begin to wonder which is the dream and which is the reality...
I never like giving people false hope. I never like that. And i'll hate myself if i ever do that.
That day after the shoot, while we were walking back from japanese garden, after we crossed the stone bridge, i stopped and waited for willow-chan. then yumii who was with willow-chan said, "wah, really like your boyfriend for the day."
Then willow answered with a, "how do you know? maybe after this shoot, she really become my boyfriend."
And i don't know... but after that my feet unconsciously brought me away from them. I'm not sure if it was because they purposely walked slower or what. But they were way behind us, and we were the last three person.
She most probably was joking. But my mind, being too computerised, just processed it. Or was i too tired to process? I really couldn't remember it clearly.
There are many or nothing in my mind right now.
I don't know. But i never like keeping secrets of my own. It may seem like i'm showing off or something. But i rather the truth is out than having accusations from nowhere starting to pop up here and there.
Many times i've thought about it, that maybe i'm the naive one. That maybe i shouldn't have acted so strong to start with.
There are so many times when i wanted to do something, but i couldn't finish it.
There are many times when i have to lock myself out to stop myself from thinking too much. Sometimes i wonder if i'd just fade off without noticing. That i'd just lose my will to live and let my life wastes away just like that.
Cosplaying holds me to Earth, but whether does it hold me to reality, we already know the answer.
Sometimes i wonder if i'll be able to live past 30..
sighz..

If you've read until here, thanks for reading. :)
*hugs*

Finally went Ninja training today after MIA-ing for 3 weeks.
Couldn't stretch properly coz too long didn't stretch and my legs were aching from yesterday's shoot. ~_^"

That kiss in my previous post was accidental coz I didn't know she'll really do it. ~_^" But she kissed Tsuyin as well and did yuri poses with her. ~_^"
Anyway, I was shocked when she really did it la. -_-"
Now end of story. Don't discuss that anymore.
I still love my Dear!!!

There most probably will have a 4th shoot, Dear you wanna come? You want normal pairing, yaoi or yuri? I can pair with you~ ^^ Provided CK don't kill me. Lol~

Ahhh... I still waiting for photos~~
For Puripuri, Konoe and this shoot de. lol~
Then after Tuesday, shall be waiting for Eva ones as well le. keke. Shyt!! forgot to wash my wig.. .arghhh

In response to Raex's reply on my taggie, I seriously have to wonder about my sexuality. ~_^"

Went for the schoolshoot today and was kissed by willow-chan.
We were taking our "grade-school" kid photos, then she wanted to do hentai. Then we pretended to kiss, meaning very close to each other's lips but not touching. But the pose very weird, coz we dunno where to put our hands. The photographer said cannot see clearly also.
Then suddenly she said, "Aiyah, might as well just kiss." Then she turned up and our lips touched and we just stayed at that position while the photographer took the photo.

Then somemore willow was having fever today. Actually she has been having this fever for days already, i think more than a week le. And she still don't want to go see doctor. Sighz... Somemore everytime she didn't finish her anti-biotics, no wonder everytime fall sick. Sighz.

Anyway it was fun today~ Other than my leg is painful right now.. arghh...

Thanks Alison for the dress and geta. ^^
Tried it le. Very loose. ~_^" Esp the shoulder and front area. Coz the shoulder there is loose, that makes the cutting in front very low. ~_^"

Photoshoot for Evangelion
- Prepare for melt-down~ coz alucard loves the sun. ~_^"
- Photographers meeting us at 4pm instead of 4:30pm, coz he scared the sun will go off very early. ~_^"

Hmm~
Couldn't think of anything to write now. lol~

Below are the photos during Julia's Sister's Wedding~
Weird captions of mine. lol~

OMG!!!
I found this new manga title: Neon Genesis Evangelion - Gakuen Datenroku!!
It's so nice!!~~
Read it here: http://www.onemanga.com/Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_Gakuen_Datenroku/

Kekekeke....
KEKEKEKE...
KEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE!!!

IT'S OVER!! EXAMS ARE OVER!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Have been watching ppl ice-skate at JE and came back home, went youtube and search about figure skating.
Been watching Sasha Cohen's figure skating... wow~ she's great!!
her skating all has feelings. can feel it even when watching thru video...

Going ice-skating with my friend tml. Long time didn't skate liao. Haha.
Anyone wanna go? Maybe we go Ninja ice-skating. LOL~
Not many ppl on Sunday i realised, at the ice-skating rink. But it closes at 3:45pm, coz there's ice-hockey match.

This is the Sakura's wig that i told ya about, dear. I ordered it le, but i changed the colour to a lighter and more brownish colour.

Feel like cosplaying Sakura also. Should get my brother be Touya. Kekekeke~
Anyway, let me finish up whatever i have first. lol~
Maya's costume costs $65 for workmanship, just what I've predicted it to be. Haha.
Ordered her wig le, haven't pass money to Sochii yet though.
Hmmm...
For Saya's costume, auntie told me to get wedding cloth. Hmm... When i go get my Quatre's and Uranus' cloth, maybe i'll get Saya's cloth as well. Haha.... i forgot to ask how much cloth to buy. ~_^"

Anyway, last paper on monday... I hope the lecturer won't give stupid questions...

If 2010 EOY i dun have plans, might be doing Asuka christmas version. But not the figurine one!! ~_^"

Ah!! I nearly forgot Full Moon with Daphne. ~_^" Crapz.. Needa go buy cloth also le. Haha. ~_^"
My angbao money all flying off le. sobzz..

Today's paper was a total murderer.
I panick when i read the paper... wanna die le. my friend told me she was shaking when she read the paper...
our lecturer totally stunned us. arghh...

I feel like having a Tsubasa Chronicle photoshoot...
Oh ya, when's our EVA photoshoot ar?

The below photos are of my hair after i messed it up. lol~ After realising it looked super ugly that day, i went to dye it. Haha.

During Sunday the ninja house-visiting. haha~

Playing Twister at Rachel's house.
First round, the girls. But ended with only Dear and Yan Jean.

1) When things were still simple...

2) When it gotten difficult for Yan Jean, she started breakdancing there. 3) Then the guy's turn. when things were still simple...
4) When things got difficult. Left CK and jian ming. CK in push-up position and jianming in buddha position.
5) On the way to CK/YJ's house. "Yo! Wassup, man?"

cut my hair yesterday... and regretted it coz it looks super ugly...

Tml's valentine's day~ Enjoy it, ppl~
I'll be in JE library chionging for my friday paper. ~_^" lol~
My friend say wear nice nice tml to study. but i just cut my hair le, how to wear nice nice? sobzz..

Hey hey ppl~
If we're very free, wanna have a mixed photoshoot?
Coming together as different characters. Then we can "skit" out parts of the anime by these characters.
Meaning, we'll photostory out a part of each character's anime with other characters pretending to be characters from that particular anime but with their own personality still. a bit confusing, right? haha.

okieokie.. i should be focusing on my exams... hahaha. needa wash/soften my wigs after exam liao. kekekeke~

ahhh~~ my hair!!! sobzzz....

Yesterday was fun~~ So sad that i didn't manage to make it last year. haha~
Was fun but too packed so we couldn't stay at one place for too long. boohoohoo.

First they came over to my house for BBQ steamboat.

Then we went over to Rachel's house. Half of us were playing twister while we gotten ourselves tangled here and there and i always lost first. lol~
the other half were playng blackjack or the three cards one and stuffing themselves with pepsi if lose. ~_^"

then we went over to julia's house while some played mahjong, some played (how to spell that game??) lol. then they played until like they wan kill each other. haha. after tt ryan, edwin and daren went scissors-paper-stone and started stuffing food into their own mouth if they lose. ~_^"

we went mingda's house after that. played blackjack and stuff ourselves with pepsi again. ~_^"
then mingda's brother was playing with the popper(?) and it blasted our ears real badly until everytime he came in with it, we hurried to cover our ears.

then around 8+ we went over to CK's house. over there, ryan and edwin chiong their homework - chinese journal. haha. with us helping them to write, of course. ~_^"
then ck ordered canadian pizza and we ate before playing blackjack again, this time with real money.

yesterday was real fun~~
thanks for all the hospitality~ (it's said like tt, right? lol)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!~~
新年快乐！！！！
万事如意！！
身体健康！！
心想事成！！

Hmmm... this year's new year doesn't seem very... how do i say... special. Our house didn't really do any springcleaning... haha. so expect my room to be still as messy. ~_^"

have been going to loyang bungalow for the past few days since eve of CNY to yesterday. Was super bored there...
mahjong whole day yesterday... only won one round... zzzzzzzz. lost so much money. sobzz...

Cosplay plans 2008:
Streetfest - Ritsuka
Cosfest - Maya & Quatre
Coscon - Uranus
EOY - Yuuri
PS - Tenou

Cosplay plans 2009: (I hope i still got the time)
Streetfest - none at the moment
Cosfest - Okita Souji & none at the moment
Coscon - Minato
EOY - Alexiel
PS - Tooru-hime

I think i might be able to slot in Cloud early. kekeke~
Getting cloud's wig, maya's wig and tenou's wig after CNY.
Needa get shorts, coat and pinafold from tailor around next week.

I'm going overseas from 3rd March for a week.

Been wanting to buy more dresses to wear nowadays liao. lol~ more convenient, coz u can just pull it over and go out liao. lol~

Hmmm... why do ppl say i put too high of expectations when finding a BF? what if i wan a GF instead? ;P
- Good-looking (who wouldn't want their BF/GF to be goodlooking?) As long as i 看得顺眼。and won't get tired of his/her looks.
- Good personality. Knows how to take care of himself/herself.
- Age +/- 2 years. Coz it would be weird if he were of my brother's age. But if it's a GF i'm looking for, must be older than me. lol~
- extra points if he or she were a cosplayer or photographer. hahaa~
- extra points if he or she knows how to cook~

Seriously... it's not really my expectations are too high. it's just that i nv venture out enough to meet more ppl. haha~
and.. what if i'm asexual? :P bleh~

Wanted to do this version for Ritsuka.

I know my previous post might not sound convincing enough, coz i'm currently still in lala-land. lol~
Hmm... i forgot what i wanna say liao..
oh ya. i asked Tessie about Cloud's costume.

AC - $150
KH - $130 (no wings and boots)

Hmm... quite cheap... I hope it turns out nice as well.
Should be getting it quite early liao. And if Rachel wants, I can do it earlier liao. Kekeke~

After CNY, gonna order Tenou, Maya and Cloud's wig le. Total would be around $150 ba.

currently playing GrandChase on PC. lol~

After reading through mako~ and YJ's blog... just wanna reply to your posts. Too long to tag, so have to put it here. Though some might not be able to understand, coz i think i jump here and there. haha.

Firstly, please please don't ever kill your family. You'll totally regret it if you do that. No matter how much you 'hate' them, how much you feel like killing them, I hope you won't really end up being the one who ends their lives. Although you might say that you can live better without them, trust me, you will live worst without them. Don't say you won't feel that way now. It'll come to you in the long run and you'll feel so much worst than when they were alive. Don't live with regret and most importantly, don't bring regret to your grave. IT's not worth it.

Secondly, i realise a similarity between CK and my second brother - deleting sister's files without asking. Well... i know that harddisk or memory card(in my case) is the brothers'. But I'm sure you can just ask the sisters first whether you can delete or not, or if really you need the space and knew that it's important, at least tell her to transfer it somewhere else. If it were your data that was deleted, how would you feel? I'm not trying to side with anyone. I'm just trying to say that you shouldn't delete it without/before asking. If it were my FYP research and stuff and my brother deleted it, he's really gonna get it from me. But of course, you might say that even if she whack you or scold you, the files won't come back, so you heck care... then aren't you being a little too selfish?
Of course the files aren't gonna come back. She might bring this matter up somewhere in the future again, but is it really her fault? She has to spend more time to research again when she could have used this time to research on more detailed info or even other project.

most of the time in a family, if there are more than two children, the 2nd child will kindda be more distanced from the parents while the first child will be more distanced from the siblings.
We have to try to understand each other in the family. Sometimes you wonder why siblings always quarrel, and you find blame in another person. Did you ever thought that it could be partly your fault as well? :) Think carefully on this, both of you. :) And don't start shouting at each other for this, k?

Whatever it is, family is important. Please don't say that you want to kill off your family. I know now is the age when those thoughts would come to you. And yes, you have the right and freedom to have those thoughts. But I really hope it won't come true.

Find your own way to calm yourself now. Be it listening to soothing music, playing computer, shopping, playing basketball/sports or sleeping. Just don't do things that will bring harm to yourself and others. :)

Think twice before doing anything.

VPeaceV

Then~ I was bored so...