Ammon

Ammon turned 4 yesterday and I can hardly believe it! He is getting so big and is an absolute joy! He has always been a rambunxious guy, full of energy and strength for any adventure he finds, but he is also a sweet heart of a little boy and I am totally in love with him.


For his birthday we went iceskating. He has been once before, but was able to use a "trainer" which was basically a walker made on ice. He was wild and crazy when he had that with him a year ago. Unfortunately it wasn't made available to us this time.

Ammon was catious - when I reminded him to be. When I didn't remind him enough he would head out onto the ice like he was going to conquer the world! That generally resulted in falling, though. He really started to get the hang of it just before we were finishing up. I think if we could have stayed longer, he would have really done well.

Carolyn and Kylie were there with us. They are so much fun to spend time with. They enjoyed sipping their hot chocolate together and then they ate muffins on the way home. What a fun day!

Peter

Andy is feeling like Peter must be growing so much, that he doesn't know what he looks like anymore. So here is Peter during the past few days. A month or two ago he was really into scooting over to the barstool and standing up holding on to it. His latest variation is to actually scoot IN to the stool and stand up in the center. He does get stuck there and needs rescuing after a while.



Peter is so different from Ammon - who was always somewhat claustraphobic. He actually likes to hang out in his play pen - as long as someone is nearby. He never likes to be left alone, but is actually happier when he is put into his playpen than he is when he is set down to sit on the floor.

Peter's favorite thing about Christmas morning was scooting into the tree and pulling on the lights and ornaments. He actually helped me decide to disassemble our tree downstairs this morning by pulling it down onto himself!


The first present of the day was Peter's. It was bigger than he is! Good thing his big brother was there to lend a helping hand when we opened it. I actually think Peter enjoyed climbing on the box better than the toy inside, though.

Andy's Christmas Quilt

Well, now that Andy has opened it, I can tell you what it was we sent off to him the other day. I made him this quilt based around the Border Patrol green and yellow with some red fabrics thrown in. It has pictures of our family so that he can have us close to him while he is at the academy.

I actually bought the fabrics and started the quilt before he left, but put it on hold for his last few days here both so I could keep it a surprise, and so I could spend time with him. Then everything got so crazy once he left, I really didn't think it would get done in time.

But the more I thought about it, the more I wanted him to have it for Christmas. I worked hard - especially during nap/school time and after the boys went to bed. The whole time I pieced it I was debating if I would quilt it myself to get it done in time for Christmas, or if I would wait for Peggy to come home so that she could do the better quilting job I had envisioned for it. I was tempted by the idea of having it be 100% from me, and I really wanted to get it shipped off so it would get there for Christmas, but I also had some specific ideas of quilting that Peggy could do and I could not.

My eagerness for Andy to get it by Christmas won, and after it was pieced, I raced to Peggy's house, called her for a quick pep-talk (and some directions on what to do) and started the quilting. Thank goodness for Rebecca and all of her help with the boys who kept waking up while I was gone! Then there was the binding to finish. I was up until 1:00 AM getting as much done as I could, and then I woke up and immediately went to work. My visiting teacher came by and I had her hold Peter while we visited and I worked on the binding. When she left, I wasn't quite through, so Nick held Peter for those last few minutes and then it was done!

Ammon helped me wrap it, and I debated again whether or not to send it in time for Christmas. I knew it was going to be pricey. But I really really wanted him to have something nice on Christmas day, so I decided that I would be willing to spend up to $50 to get it there in time. The first thing they told me at the UPS store was the shipping to get it there in the 26th would be $15. To get it there on Christmas Eve would be $55. Wow. Big price difference and over what I had decided I would do. I debated AGAIN. But I still really wanted him to have it for Christmas. After buying the box and taxes and everthing, it cost over $65 to ship it. But I was so happy it was going to be there on time and excited for Christmas. My Christmas present was having him get his Christmas present on time.

Christmas Eve came and everything seemed to be on track. But then the tracking suddenly showed that it wouldn't be delivered until the 26th. I was so disapointed, but I guess, if nothing else, I would get my money back. So I called UPS. They explained that there was no way it would be delivered on time and that the problem was a weather delay so there would be no refund. Having worked at UPS before, I knew there was nothing I could do. I know that UPS does everything they can to get packages delivered by Christmas, but this one was last scanned at the hub 4 hours away from Andy and showing that it would not be there. I was already crying by the time I ended the call with UPS.

I bawled most of the day. Everything finally hit me - the absolute exhaustion from a week of no husband, no parents, staying up late working frantically and furiously on a binding job AND the quilt for Andy, the devestation of having Andy gone for 5 months, the genuine sadness of him missing the holidays, the realization that I didn't have any presents except for him to get the quilt, and now that wasn't going to happen, and to be honest, I think there was a dose of hormones that helped throw me over the emotional edge as well. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed, and later that night I went into pure hysterics. I honestly don't think I have ever had such a complete meltdown of total hysterics as I did on Christmas Eve (and last summer I had my moments). I was a mess.

In the midst of all this emotional trauma a miracle happened. UPS delivered the package after all. Sadly the miracle was short-lived as the package got locked into a building. Andy worked hard running all over campus from building to building trying to track down his package. I don't think he really even cared so much as he knew that it was really important to me. He did everything he could, but was unable to get it until the 26th anyway.

Oh well, Christmas day was nice for both of us, and he loved the quilt when he opened it last night. I just don't think there has ever been a Christmas gift in my life that has ever involved so much blood, sweat and tears as this one.

Yay for Peter; Yay for Ammon

This past week, both boys have excited me with things they have done.

Peter has done two things. First, he has actually crawled. He is a champion scooter (just like his brother was) and has been completely mobile since he was 6 months old. But he hasn't crawled at all. Now he has crawled, which is so fun! But - mostly he still just scoots. The other thing I have been able to do this week was get him to eat! He has not been super interested in baby food or real food either. He is very picky about what he'll eat and a lot of the time he'll spit things out. He doesn't like vegetables at all - again I am talking about both baby food and real food. He can't eat banannas because they cause gas. He hates tart flavors and even something as basic as applesauce really seems to be pushing it for him. So, I finally found some foods that are oats and things blended with real mild fruits like strawberries. Those flavors seem to be just plain and sweet enough that he will eat them. So over the past four days we went from not eating even one stage one jar of baby food to eating an entire stage two jar, to two jars and now to three jars in one day! I love it! I feel so much better knowing that he is getting some real food in that little tummy of his. It already seems to be translating into better naps and sleep. Having a full tummy really makes life better!

What Ammon did was so impressive to me. We have worked a lot with him on how to calm down when he gets overwhelmed with his emotions such as anger, disapointment, frustration and sadness. Usually I can kneel down next to him and have him take a deep breath. We repeat the deep breath together until he is calm. Sometimes it will even make him laugh. Once he is calm, we can talk about what to do. Generally at this point he can be quite rational and come up with a good solution to his problem. Well, the other day he was upstairs watching TV while I was downstairs nursing Peter and putting Peter down for a nap. We were the only ones home and the dog started barking to come in. The moniter was on and was where Ammon could hear it, so I told Ammon (over and over and over again) to let Shadow in. Finally Peter got to sleep, but Ammon never let Shadow in. So I went upstairs and told Ammon he was in trouble for not letting Shadow in. I never make him turn off the TV mid-show, but because he was in trouble, I turned it off. He immediately freaked out BUT before I could respond, he caught HIMSELF and took a deep breath. He came over to where I was standing and calmly apologized and said he would not do it again. I was so absolutely flabbergasted by him catching his own tantrum before it really took off that I immediately accepted his apology and let him turn his show back on. It was awesome!

Missing Daddy

I don't know that any day is really 'easy' but today was an especially hard day for us as we missed having Daddy around. I have been fretting like nothing else about the fact that we had no present for Andy to open so we finally came up with something and (spending a small fortune) had it shipped out today. Ammon helped with the wrapping and he was excited to send the packages to Daddy. But, I realized as we were driving to the UPS Store, Ammon thought we were going to deliver the gifts in person. He was really excited.

"Where is Daddy? Is he at the airport or something?" (Made sense since that is the last place we saw him.)

"No Ammon, Daddy is far away in New Mexico."

"New Mexico? Do we get to fly on a plane?"

"No Ammon, not for a long time still. We are taking the present to the mailman and the mailman will take it to Daddy for us."

"The mailman? (pause) Oh." (silence)

Anyway, I didn't expect it, but sending Andy's gifts to him, which I thought was something to help connect us for the holiday just ended up emphasising the distance between us. After we shipped the package Ammon put on his hat and thought of Daddy while we drove. I know he misses Andy so much, but he is a cute trooper of a little boy and is handling it so well.

Our Day

Lately Ammon has been really into printing off coloring pictures for himself from the internet. He is very computer savvy and especially knows how to maneuver his way around the pbskids.org website. Today he decided to take it a step further and break out the markers to actually color his paper. Or so I thought. I was in the other room for several minutes feeding Peter etc and when I finally got a moment to check back in with Ammon I found that he had NOT colored paper, but, in fact, had colored himself. And then he posed for the picture.

In the mean time, Peter sat in the highchair and obediently ate his cookie. Poor little guy was exhausted today because I had some errands that interupted his morning nap time. He never did seem to recover from that. But other than being tired, Peter has been getting more and more fun every day. He suddenly seems so interactive and aware of everything around him. Tonight I was tickling Ammon and Peter saw us from across the room. He just started to crack up with laughter and quickly scooted over to where the action was.

I can never completely express how special it is to me to watch Peter as he looks adoringly at his big brother. Those two just have such a great time together. Of course Ammon has always been a doting big brother, but then, when Peter got big enough they started this game where they would growl at each other. Now they just stare at each other and laugh and laugh and laugh. It is the sweetest thing ever.

It Can Only Get Better From Here

Well, I hit the big 30 and I was determined to make the best of it despite the feared emotions of discouragement and depression that could easily come in on such an occassion as I celebrated my birthday with my husband states away and found myself still waiting for life to start as I hang out living in my parents basement. Obviously it would have been nice if time had been kinder to me and I felt a little bit more accomplished and if I felt that I had anything to show for the last three decades of my life. But, life is what it is, and I wanted to enjoy the day despite the temptation not to.

Little need I fear - I had no room for discouragment or depression as my birthday became a day of survival. It began with my boys NOT getting up at 6:00 AM. You would think that would be nice - it allowed me the chance to sleep in. Until 6:20 rolled around and the phone rang. My sweet husband, who knows that I am up EVERY day at 6:00 decided to call and wish me a Happy Birthday. The timing wasn't perfect, but really, in retrospect I can't think of a better way to have started the day that just continued to go downhill from there. It really is one of the highlights.

I quickly realized that I had the flu. A horrible, miserable, gut wrenching flu that my sister had been suffering with the day before and that had my Dad spend a night in the hospital two evenings before. Coming 3rd has its perks, though, and at least I knew to not eat anything.

The day went on, me exhausted from days on end with no husband and two kids. Too tired to care or notice that it was my birthday and too sick for it to really matter. When Ammon came home from school he was adorable. Katy had picked him up and prompted him, so that when he came home he ran inside and said, "Happy Birthday Mommy!"

How sweet was that! My heart just melted and it was the first moment of real joy I felt. But it quickly turned to dispair as he looked and said, "Is it really your birthday Mom?"

"Why, yes, it is Ammon."

"Where is it Mom?"

"Oh, you mean the birthday cake? I'm sorry Ammon, I didn't even think to make one."

At which point he burst into tears!

He went downstairs to play and soon after the doorbell rang. It was a delivery that Andy had arranged before he left. It was a beautiful basket of chocolates, a teddy bear, and a cake box with a cake made of flowers. No one was home except for me and my boys and when I brought the gift inside I just burst into tears. Especially when I saw the cake. I suspected that it wasn't edible, but it almost seemed like a little miracle that there was a birthday cake.

I wiped my tears and went downstairs to show Ammon. I had Peter in one arm and the basket in the other. I gave Ammon the camera (after showing him) and knelt down so that he could take a picture. As I knelt down, my back went out. It had been going for weeks, and every once in a while I would move in such a way that a wince or a whimper would escape my lips. But this movement, well, it merrited an all out scream!

My plans for the evening were to have dinner with my family - which I did - kind of. We all ordered food and I watched as they ate. In the end I think I may have eaten an entire roll, a small bite of steak and a Peter sized bite of sweet potatoe. And I felt like I had overdone it. But I sat there with my back killing me, and wanting to puke thinking, "I am glad I am here - this is better than feeling this way alone at home."

I almost cancelled my plans to attend a play several times throughout the day. But in the end, I decided to try it, and Amanda came to pick me up at the restaraunt. Katy stuck around to make sure I could get into the car. She finally had to say, "Just do it really fast and know it's going to hurt for a second." (She is an expert at back pain as she has suffered from it a lot.) She had to lift my leg into the car for me, but I got in and away we went.

The play was wonderful. The pain during it was bareable. Getting in the car to come home was more difficult than getting in to leave. But Amanda helped and we got home. THANKFULLY I did NOT fall when I slipped on the ice in the driveway. I got home just in time for Andy to send me a text message and say that he had to get to bed and could not talk.

I had talked to him during intermission and the first thing he said was, "This has been the worst day ever."

"Oh really?" I asked, "Is it your 30th birthday and your husband is gone and you have the flu and your back went out and you are miserably sick and in constant pain."

Well, his bad day was of a different sort, but I don't think either of us will ever look back at December 10, 2007 with much fondness at all - except to say, "Thank goodness it isn't as bad as that!"

Bath Time Fun

Yesterday Ammon was busy playing and so I decided that it would be a good opportunity to give Peter a bath. To this point, he has always taken a bath in the tub WITH Ammon. He had fun splashing around, but it didn't take Ammon to hear what was going in. Ammon came in and when Peter saw him he just started grinning. Ammon asked if he could join in the fun and Peter seemed delighted for the company. These boys are so enammered with each other and I never tire of the way their faces light up when they play together. I love my boys!

By the way, I should have edited this off, but I didn't so I will explain. At the end of the video Ammon suddenly stops and says, "Oh no." It looks like he is either sick or has to go to the bathroom or something. But actually, the next words out of his mouth were, "I'm so cold!" How random! I think he is just used to more water covering him while in the bath. But it is funny because he usually takes icey cold baths!

Friday Field Trip

Ever since Ammon started school I have been wanting to make a habbit of going on a Friday Field Trip. It seems perfect since he goes to school Monday-Thursday. It gives us something to do with our day and a fun chance to do things together at least once a week.

Sadly for me, Friday Field Trips have been more of an idea in the back of my mind than a reality for me and my children.

Thank goodness for a fun sister who does EVERYTHING imaginable with her kids. She called me up today and invited us to join their outing. Shockingly, our babies were on the same nap schedule (that pretty much NEVER happens) so it even worked out for us to all go together.
So, when Peter and Isaiah woke up from their naps, the boys and I headed to Katy's house where we all loaded into her mini-van and off we went to the Dinosaur Museum at Thanksgiving Point.



It was a great day for the kids. Sometimes we seem to just run through there, but today the kids seemed to be enthralled with the museum every step of the way. We spent hours there.
Of course, everything is decked out in Christmas stuff, which is always fun. Even some of the dino's were dressed appropriately for the holidays.

Carolyn, Kylie and Ammon always have so much fun together. It doesn't always go perfectly, but we do seem to have a lot of good times. I know that Ammon will really miss those two when we move.

After going through the museum, we got some icecream. Blue Bubblegum icecream for all! What a fun, sticky mess! I sure am glad for days like these. Thanks Katy!

Santa and the Tree

Last night Ammon stayed up late to help Grandma set up her tree. When he was done Grandma let him take Santa to bed with him. He was delighted!

Ammon has always loved to be a big helper, and last night was no exception. I allowed him to stay up WAY past his bedtime to help Grandma get out the tree. It was a fun project for them to work on together.

Grandma has a HUGE and VERY full tree that seems to have endless numbers of branches to attach every year. It is a huge undertaking to pull out each branch, fluff it up, attach it the tree etc. Fortunately, she made it easier on everyone by color coding the branches. Ammon's first assignment was to pull branches out of boxes and put them in piles according to color.

The job was a huge undertaking, but little by little the tree went up. By the end of it, Ammon (aka Batman) was getting pretty hyper, but he stuck it out and helped till the end. Ammon is always so capable and so interested in doing things hand on, that it is hard to remember that he is really only three. He is amazing to me in his abilities and his sensitivity. I sure do adore that guy!

Chili-Ghetti

Chili-ghetti is a classic Nunes family dinner that has been passed into our family as Shadel's. Andy seems to like it every bit as much as my brothers and Dad, and because it is such a quick easy thing to throw together, it becomes a very convenient meal.

I have been getting more and more aware of Peter and letting him try new foods. Tonight was the first time I gave him some of the dinner. So you might say that Chili-ghetti was Peter's first meal of real food. Seems fitting for the family he comes from. He seemed to really like it!

He's really gone!

After a really rough night with the boys, we woke up, got ourselves and the boys ready and drove to the airport. Before we left, I knelt and said a prayer. As I prayed for Andy I had this impression of him being kept in a bubble. I felt (for lack of a better word) him traveling through this next portion of life under the protective direction of Heavenly Father. I know that this time in our lives can and will be good for Andy and our family if he will do all that is required to stay worthy of and in tune with the Lord's direction.

As we drove, I reflected on a favorite set of pictures of mine by Liz Swindle. I first saw them when I was a missionary in Texas, and have always wanted to hang them in my home. The other night, when we were downtown we saw two of the three pictures again. One is of Joseph in Liberty Jail. He is on his knees in what I think could be described as "mighty supplication." The other is Emma, babe in arms and children hanging on to her dress as they cross the frozen river. The third picture, which I do not always see with the first two, but which completes the set for me is the one of Joseph and Emma in a clinging embrace at their doorstep. To me, this series of pictures shows what I always imagined marriage to be - A righteous husband out fulfilling his work, regardless of how difficult the work comes and wisely calling on the Lord's favors when it becomes overwhelming; a strong, loving mother who faces the hardest of circumstances in taking care of her children as circumstances require; but ultimately, between these individual responsibilities and trying times that we each must face ourselves, the warm embrace, the clinging comfort of being in each others arms. Never have these pictures meant so much to me as we approached the airport and I knew I would have to watch Andy leave for 4 months. I can't imagine how Emma must felt - and Joseph - knowing that he would not be coming back. I think of Emma out on that cold, dark and dangerous ice and I think, "I can do this!" And I think of Joseph, the great person and prophet that he was and I hope Andy will follow his example of relying on our Heavenly Father and Savior. I told Andy that in near decade that I have loved and been inspired by those pictures, they have never meant to me what they do today.

Last Moments...

Last night and this morning we were down to the wire. All I could think with every move Andy made was, "this will be the last time he..." fill in the blank. So he gave Peter one last shoulder ride, and read the boys one last story. To tell you the truth, we had one last WRETCHED night of kids not sleeping well which resulted in us not sleeping well. And then, this morning, before we loaded into the car Andy gave each of the boys and myself one last blessing and one last group hug. It was fun to gather around - the four of us - and have a big family hug like that. Right now it seems like it will have to last us way too long.

Anniversary Inn and the Phantom

I wanted to reserve the night before Andy leaves as family time. But, the night before the night before he leaves became an opportunity for us to have our own special time as a couple. A few months ago we went on a wonderful family vacation, but I quickly realized that a family vacation and a getaway as a couple are very different things and both are important. So, my mom said she was willing to take the boys for the night, and we booked the Phantom of the Opera room at the Anniversary Inn.

The Phantom of the Opera is special to me because, not only have I always loved the music from the time I was introduced to it at the age of 12, but also, because Andy gave me the most thoughtful gift for our first Valentine's Day of a Phantom of the Opera musical snow globe. It was amazing to me, that he would be so considerate to find a gift that combined my love for snow globes with my love for the music from Phantom of the Opera. Unfortunately, like most things I love, the snow globe was broken so I no longer have it, but the memory is as magic as ever.

We were going to begin our date by having dinner downtown at the Roof. We have heard that it is expensive, but delicious! When it came down to it, though, we really wanted to wear our jeans rather than dress up. So we went to Texas roadhouse instead. We had never been there before. It was great food and we only wish we would have tried it sooner.

After dinner we checked into our room. I was eager to try out the jetted tub, clothes and all! I was excited to come back later that evening and soak in the bubbles.

We headed back out to meet the kids at temple square and then had a fun evening together at the Inn. We were both so glad that we had taken the time (and money - which had stressed me out pretty bad) to create this evening for ourselves.

Once morning came, Andy was eager to get to packing. I was also needing to get back to my nursing baby, so we didn't really sleep in or spend much time there. We did pause enough to have an amazing breakfast and for me to teach Andy a solitare version of cribbage.

Temple Square and the Church History Museum

Last night Andy and I had a final date before he leaves. But, we took an intermission from our date time and met the boys downtown for some family time. We looked at the lights at temple square and went over to the Church History Museum. We only had about an hour together, and part of the purpose was for me to feed Peter, so even that cut into our activity time. But I am glad that we had the opportunity. The weather was mild and it was a beautiful night. We will not have the chance to see the lights at Temple Square every year, so I am glad we went.

Andy is such a fun Dad and I know the boys are going to miss him a lot. He carried one or the other of them around last night and at one point had both of them. This picture makes it obvious how much he loves being a father.

At the Church History Museum we showed Ammon the pictures of all the prophets. Obviously President Hinckley is the only prophet he has known, so he was particularly interested in that exhibit. Andy also took the time to show him John Taylor's watch and explain about the martyrdom of Joseph Smith.

Denial

Andy is packing and I am stuck on the computer making blog entries and trying to pretend like he really isn't going to leave. Having him gone is going to be rough.

I will miss Andy as a partner in parenting our children. It is such a relief to have someone help out with the boys. Children are the most wonderful thing in life, but they are also an overwhelming responsibility. Taking care of them on my own for so long sounds exhasting. I am glad for a great family who will help out. I know I can particularly count on Mom to help with Peter, Rebecca will help with both boys and Katy to help entertain Ammon. I hope to be strong mentally and get through these challenging months with a lot of smiles and laughs even though it will be hard.

I will miss Andy in all the little things he does for me. Before we really started dating, I stayed home sick from school one day. He showed up on my door with flowers. He has always loved to do things like that and find silly little ways to take care of me. From making me an egg sandwhich at night (to make sure I go to bed with enough protien in my body) to getting me a glass of water, I can always count on Andy to help coddle me when I need to be pampered.

I will miss Andy for his strength. It is comforting to end the day by snuggling up in bed next to my big, strong guy. When we were first married (just after 9-11) I had many nightmares. Over time the nightmares went away. But I still like the security of having him there with me. It has been sad enough to have 2 nights a week for the last year when he was not there to sleep with me. Now he will be gone for 4 months and after that will be on a different sleep schedule for 2 of every 3 months. Other than him working graveyards, we almost always go to bed together - always have. I will miss him when he was gone; and I will miss him on this new schedule.

I will miss Andy for his friendship. More than anything, Andy is my friend. There has always been something about him that has enabled me to open up -to speak directly. With other boyfriends, and really, all other people, I find myself best able to communicate through writing. But with Andy, I noticed early on that I could speak straight to him and still get out what I was trying to say. That made him unique to me and I will miss having my best friend here by my side where I can share my feelings and talk about my life.

I am going to face these next few months with optimism and cheerfulness. But for a few more hours, I am just hiding in denial.

Our Tree

Well, we were a little overanxious in clearing out stuff we didn't know where to store when we moved in with my parents. One of the casualties was our Christmas Tree. It wasn't a great tree anyway - just a small scraggly thing that we picked up for $20 thinking that it would work while we lived in an apartment. And then we lived in an apartment year after year and everytime the tree seemed smaller and sadder so we finally decided that we didn't need it anymore. But as Andy was getting ready to leave for 4 months, I realized that I would find great peace in having a tree of my own downstairs.

Several years ago, I was up at USU and had a very difficult time emotionally. I still don't think I ever figured out what was wrong with me, and I suspect that there were some phycial complications triggering the emotional ones. But the end result is that what seemed like a very dark period of my life was made lighter from the Christmas Tree that sat in our dorm room kitchen. I had difficulty sleeping at night and would find myself alone, in the dark staring at that tree. We were up on the 4th floor and there was nothing as peaceful as watching the tree and seeing the snow fall out the window behind it.

So I decided, that as I am facing another Christmas Season with great potential for emotionality, that our own little Christmas Tree would be a nice little bandaid for me on those lonely nights that I might need it.

Without much money, or much space, we ended up buying a pre-lit tree that is a simple 4 1/2 feet. It is really cute and I am so glad that we got it. Ammon helped Andy set it up, and I love my Christmas Ornaments! I was also thrilled to get a picture of Andy and Peter for Peter's first Christmas. It almost even looks like Christmas morning since they are still in their pajamas.

Christmas this year has been a promising one. It is the first year that I haven't had to take a budget that is already too short to buy groceries, to try to invent a budget for presents. This year, we eat no matter what - and that has made things a lot more fun. It is also a promising year in that Ammon is a fun age and now we have another adorable little one in our family too. I think it would be our best Christmas yet if only Andy were here. We will miss him terribly, and our hearts will ache for him in his absence, but I think it will be a great day.

It must be Christmas Time!

Last Tuesday we got a lovely little bit of snow. I was so excited to have it snow before Andy left. I thought to myself, "Now it feels like he gets to spend a little bit of Christmas with us before he leaves."

"Uh-oh!" I quickly realized, "I think that it take snow to make it feel like Christmas. What am I going to do next year in YUMA????"

But let's not worry about next year yet. On Saturday we had a beautiful snow storm that lasted all day. Ammon had a great time and the men all worked hard to clear the snow from the sidewalks and driveways. I am glad that Ammon was able to work alongside Daddy and Grandpa in the snow. There is just something fun about it.

Sick

Friday was a frantic afternoon as we gave Ammon a haircut, scrubbed down the two boys, dressed them in adorable matching shirts, got ourselves ready and raced off to an extended family picture at Murry Park. We hit horrible traffic trying to get onto the freeway and Peter just started to cry and cry in the back seat. We were waiting for the light to turn green, so I took off my seat belt to look back at Peter - he was just crying so relentlessly. I saw him covered in spitup. Poor boy! And as I looked I realized it was down his shirt, covering his pants, and pooling up on the carseat next to him. So much for our nice, clean look for the picture!

It was so much in quantity that I told Andy I thought it was more than spit up - I think poor little Peter had thrown up. Sure enough, a few minutes later, we heard him back there throwing up even more. We had finally gotten onto the freeway, but we pulled back off as soon as we could to try to comfort him and clean him up.

Luckily he seemed to feel better after that. Poor kid stunk like crazy, but fortunately the smell doesn't show up in the picture, and I think they came out well!

Primary Program

Yesterday was Ammon's first Primary Program. I was really worried that I hadn't worked with him enough to get him properly prepared for his part. He had to miss the practice because it conflicted with out extended family pictures. But he did a fantastic job! I am so impressed with him. We had many compliments from ward members at how well he did. His part was:

"One night when I was afraid, I said a prayer to Heavenly Father. My faith in Jesus helped me to not be scared anymore."

Ammon is growing so big. He is a wonderful brother to Peter. They love to play together. I am so happy to be the mommy to such wonderful children.

Every new beginning...

... comes from some other beginnings end.

It finally came. On November 5, 2007 Andy received his job offer from the Department of Homeland Security. We have been waiting for this moment for over 10 months, so obviously it is a time to celebrate. It is, we hope, a long over-due to beginning to our adults lives. A chance at financial stability; an opportunity for Andy to provide for the family.

But I have long known that this would be a bitter-sweet time for me. There is the heartache of separation during the academy. The very night he received his job, I found myself lying in bed devestated. For the most part I have done ok, but then, the other day I was driving alone, and found myself suddenly sobbing. The sadness I feel sneaks in and surprises me more often, already, than I would have expected.

We have a whirlwind of events the next 3 weeks before he leaves. They are designed to give us great memories and fun times to get us through the separation both as a couple and as a family. And then, it is off to Yuma.

I have already been in corespondance with a woman from Yuma who just moved from here a few months ago. She is about my age, and, like me, has two small children. I am so excited at the potential of a friend there.

Some days I am eager to get away from everyone and just lives our own lives. But for the most part, I just wish we had ever been able to "live our own lives" (ie buy a house and establish ourselves) locally. Andy's family seems less effected by the move - of his two siblings, one is already out of state, and the other seems likely to move around the same time as us. But my family of six siblings are all here within 15 minutes of each other. We don't interrupt each other, but have the convenience of being able to help each other and also of being able to hang out with each other when we want to.

It is said (by some) that the Church is so wonderful outside of Utah because the ward becomes like your family. But that is just it - it is wonderful to have a ward family, but it is just a substitution for the real thing! I am happy to know that I won't be completely alone, and grateful for the organization of the Church on that front. But if I had my choice, I would pick my actual family.

The Football Game

With Tim and Jen in town from Arizona, we had the rare opportunity to let Ammon, Michael and Will play together. Peter is still a bit small to join in the fun, but the three older boys had a wonderful time playing football.

Actually, the game was an incredibly cute diversion for Andy who didn't know that family and friends were secretly gathering inside the house for a surprise party in honor of his accomplishments in becoming a Border Patrol agent.

The sad thing is, that since the camera was outside with Andy, I didn't get any pictures of the actual party. Oh well, it was wonderful, but I am sure the boys make cuter pictures anyway.

6 months old

Peter turned 6 months on my sister's birthday. It was also the day we left on our trip. Maybe it was being stuck in the car for several hours that motivated him, but that was also the day Peter became mobile. He is now a little scooting demon. He loves to get out and explore the world and find new things to grab onto. It is fun to watch him. It has also created a new dimension in the family relationships as he can scoot his way into Ammon's territory. Ammon has been really good about it, though. I taught him that if Peter takes one if his toys, Ammon can find Peter somthing new and trade it back. He seems to work well.

At his 6 month doctor appointment, which we did a few days early, we learned that Peter is 28 inches. Yes, you heard right, 28. That boy is tall! He is also 18 1/2 lbs. The doctor said that he is bigger than half of the 9 month old babies and that he is projecting an adult height of 6'2".

The other landmark at 6 months that we've gotten to is that Peter cut his first tooth this past Sunday. It was an abnormally fussy day although not unrelenting or terrible. Peter just wasn't his normal happy self. At the end of the day I wised up and checked his mouth. Sure enough, I could feel the point of a new tooth. Teething must be such a miserable process! I do not envy any child for that.

In the last month to month and a half, Peter has become alive with personality. He is such a happy boy and I just love seeing him smile. He is VERY tickleish. He loves to laugh, especially when someone is playing with him. In the more recent week, he has become quite the explorer. I just adore this beautiful boy!

Disney Land

We had a blast going to Disney Land this past week. We spent 3 days there and it wasn't enough! Ammon's favorite rides were Splash Mountain and Buzz Lightyear. He did not like the Matterhorn. We did not take him on Space Mountain (which was always my favorite ride as a child) or to the Haunted Mansion.

Andy drove us into a concrete barrier in the Virgin River Gorge on the way home. We were going about 40 MPH. I was so relieved that no one was hurt. We were shocked and amazed to find that even the car was fine. Just the tire was scuffed up a little bit.

Our trip also included some great visits with my Grandparents, as well as Aunt Pam and her entire family. It was great!

Un-Birthday party

Tomorrow (or today, since it is past midnight) we are having an Un-Birthday party for Ammon. Poor boy, his birthday falls the day after Christmas. By that time, people are sick of sweets so cake and icecream are a drag, people are tired in general and tired of all the group festivities, so a party is a hassel, and he has more than enough presents, so gifts are just redundant. Last year we ended up not even giving him half of the things we had bought for him, just because he already had so much stuff. So we decided that this year we would do a half birthday. Of course, half birthday time came and went and no party happened, but the other day Andy and I were at the store and we found a bike for him. It has been our plan for some time to buy Ammon a bike, but the right one hadn't come along yet. But, lo and behold, ever doting Daddy couldn't leave the store without the bike in tow. And he has already tried to break down once or twice to give it to Ammon, so it is essential that we have a party right away to give him his gift! (Not to mention the fact that my mom is about to go out of town for several weeks, and we don't want to wait all the way until she gets home again.) Cute little Ammon is so excited for his un-birthday since his birthday is usually shuffled in with everything else. I asked him what he wanted to do at his party. He just said he wanted cake, icecream, and of course, presents!

Peter has been adorable lately too. He is at such a fun age where he loves eye contact and attention of any kind. His little face lights up and he grins from ear to ear. I especially love it when he laughs, which he does fairly often. He can be a stoic little boy, but he also can display a lot of joy.

I love my boys so much. As Ammon would say, they "make my heart happy".

Getting started...

I thought I would start a blog for the random family events or family related thoughts that come to mind. For instance, I hope that Peter never gets teeth because he is already biting with his gums and it hurts! Here he is eating his first "real" food! Yay!

Anyway, this may be a weak start, but at least it is a start. We'll see if we like it.