Thursday, August 23, 2007

yea...new post...haha...another 6 more hrs and my last exam paper is coming...cool huh? after so long i decide to...not to say so much...haha...life still the same...just that many things really do comes around and goes around...things u thought could work it out end up they dont...sad huh? but thats life...best thing is,u dont get to know why they dont work it out...and that really makes u feel somehow or in some way pissed? i dont know...but well i guess that kind of thing dont suits me...just have to look into others....during the months...get to go to alot of places...thanks to my soft toy...elmo...LOLX...brighten up quite a little when i'm with him...but bad point is...i think i learn alot of "bad" stuff from him...hmmm not very good huh...well there's up and there's down...but to me...every day is down to me...lol...no luck in everything i wanted to do...lady luck please bless me with your charm...i really and seriously needed that badly...
throughout this months...had this habbit of drinking....ribena in the night when i'm alone...maybe its mum that bought a carton of ribena that cost me to love ribena so much now...fyp gonna start soon...boring boring and boring...could i take a break? or maybe a long.....break...i wanted to go somewhere nice and peaceful...like meditation huh? but ya somewhere really nice for me to res...i must really plan for this...before i went army...destination: unknown? budget: $0 days spend: best if forever...
turn out to be quite a lengthy page...enjoy...o ya...i had a nice sliced fish bee hoon at maxwell market...its a must try food...gotta go rest...
YAWN

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 2:53 AM

Saturday, May 05, 2007

hmmm...been months since my last entry was posted up...Many things happen during these few months...and i feel like i had become a whole new person after everything...well...i hope i do...if anyone were to ask me about her again...i would happily ans him/her back...i think i can put down my feelings for her...so no worries...am a free man right now with no feeling attachment to anyone...(does not include my parents and friends) And so i guess i live a better life without these...And to her...i wish u all the best in your relationship...well...provided that she will read my entry thou...haha...i guess thats about it...stay tuned for nx entry

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 4:23 PM

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

time flies...many things forgotten...but feelings remain...nv changed a bit...things changed...not the same as before,as i concluded...human is a ever changing animal...they change every sec...one moment u may see them treat you so nice...and the next they may jus curse and swear everything about you...whats left is just your dignity to be stepped...and they still act as if they nv cares...thinking everything is just about this way and thats it...and they end everything with either an apologize or they will jus walk away...thinking u will take that as a joke and continues this endless masked friendship/relationship...so whats forever means? forever in these kind of mess? been so long ever since my thoughts became letters being typed out by my fingers...so long ever since...content seem cold...but feelings don't...why u may ask...maybe i will find my ans elsewhere...

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 1:47 AM

Thursday, October 26, 2006

i always believe this fairytale that says...when god created a male...they used 1 of the chest bone to created a female,so that the male won't feel lonely...this thought had been with me for quite a few years...since i heard it from my friend...and indeed,i believe it...because,when the 1 u love is not beside you,u somehow felt that pain in your chest...and when she's really gone,that pain grew imensely. i do felt that right now...what reason do 1 really need to like or love someone...i dun seem to get the idea of loving someone because of that something...doesn't you love someone as a whole, doesn't u love someone because he or she is that someone and not others? some ppl understands me,most don't...and i can only blame myself,for not letting her understand me more...on how i really felt towards her...i will not do something not because of someone,its because i wanted to...i just want ppl to understand,being a single and being attached is 2 DIFFERENT matters....i don't handle stuff when i am attached like i used to handle when i am single...maybe because of ppl doesn't really understands me,maybe i shld made known to everyone that,even though i play,even though i am not those kind of "good guy",i still can be a good bf...i am comfortable when i am with you,just that i don't know how to express myself clearly to you that i am comfortable...and at the same time i am overly shy and had super low self esteem...but i jus feel nice when i'm with you...maybe u can't felt that...i don't know...all i know is...my feeling is undoubtedly true for u...but...i guess,if i stand at your point of view...i'm really not a good choice to consider...what i surface is not what i really is...i just need more time to get over it...

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 2:02 AM

Sunday, October 01, 2006

sigh...i gave up...she's attached...this time round...i guess its real...to think that what i have done all along makes no difference in her...and i guess such a me does not exist in her heart before...and all the effort i put had all gone down to drain...i guess i wasn't that suitable piece of jigsaw puzzel to her...now i just need another few months to forget her...maybe it will took me a yr or more...i don't know...all i know is i felt immense pain in my heart right now...like something had lost...the whole situation now seem to be like a story of a guy wanted to buy a beautiful musical box...but he can't afford the price...and so he work so hard for it...but...one day he came to realise that...someone had bought that musical box...with or without any effort putting in i don't know...all i know now is...what for did i need to put in so much effort when the outcome is not what i wanted? what i holded for so long end up i gotta gave up...what i yearn for end up becomes the precious of someone else...blame who u all might ask...i can only say...blame me...blame me for not being that special 1 for her,blame me for every stupid thing i done for her,blame me for holding on even a slightest chance that she will accept me...i can only blame myself for loving her...and i guess its my stupidity and my ignorant that causes the situation i am in right now...just wish u the best in coming A levels...and with your bf too...

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 6:29 PM

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Had a Wonderful time with my class...reach there at around 8...and they decide to go for night biking...rent a bike,went back to the chalet to put my things...and off we go for our night biking...man i can tell u...6 hour of riding is NO JOKE...we had a stop over at changi village for our supper...then 3 of my friends ride back..the rest continue our journey...went to changi airport...wanted to ride in East Coast...but end up going back...the stretch of road at Changi Airport sure is LONG...it seem endless no matter how long we travel...but finally...we did get out of there...then we went to bedok had a stop over at the SPC petrol station...ate 4 sandwich...man i was damn hungry...top up our drinks...and continue our journey back to our chalet...then we pass by simei,then tpjc and WOOO...we had reached our chalet...but that was like around 5 in the morning...went back and my butt was ACHING...the sit was damn lousy...here are a few

pictures we took during our night cycling...

these are the few photos that we taken during our night cycling...after wash up...we slack around in the living room...did drink abit...then went to slp at ard 8 in the morning...woke up at 10 plus...din have much rest either...my butt still sore after the 2 hr rest...decided to return back the bicycle and went to eat after that...din have much energy so we din play pool for long also...went back for some mahjong session...and soon it was around 6+ in the evening...friends were setting up the pit...din help much...stuck in the mahjong game...LOLX...went down to eat...haha...ate quite abit...

soon it was around 10+ 11...and its time for me to say goodbye...went back with jia hui,pei shan and jia hui's friend...reach home around 11+...and went to bed after that...did have so much fun with my classmate...well good times always din last long...and all the best to my friends...=D

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 6:01 PM

Thursday, September 14, 2006

after so long...finally had a new post...a bad 1 i should say...went out with jeff,ricky and sharon to phuture yest night...was quite entu in the first place...but somehow my mood swing just trigger off...first i saw cindy...everything was still fine...and alright...mood swing wasn't that much...then i saw spencer...and the first thing came to my mind...elena...nothing but her...crap right...wait till u all know more crappy stuff...well i did saw her...but...jus felt upset...mood swing shot up to the climax...dance around...like a body without soul...generated by the music...i jus dance...and i don't know why am i like that...ltr on i met sharon and her friend...thought things could change....but her friend left...and well...din have the mood to dance...though they have good music on...and on top of that...i felt thirsty...so i get myself a drink...this time round...i din saw elena...or i missed her...then i hanged around...until finally its 4am...time pass...went for supper...with sharon and the rest...went home after that...think alot while i am on my home back...i think...y shld i be so upset when elena and me wasn't like before...? y shld i be upset when sharon's friend went home?? sickening...shouldn't i be real upset when "she" wasn't beside me?? i really can't understand myself...anyone do?? got home and got scolded by my mum for being so late home...and i ask myself y i wanted to stay out so late?? crap...i ask myself alot of qns...i even qn abt me being on earth...y one shld be borned when one shld finally dies? to find happiness?? happiness: someone used their liftime to search that and end up din find any...someone found it,but slip it away from their hand... its all so crappy...i really don't understand myself...i don't know why i am feeling upset for someone i know for like not even a month...i don't know y i am feeling upset for someone who i know for few hours...i dont know why shld i club in the first place also...shouldn't i be waiting for her? and plan wad to do when she finished a 'A's??
seriously...if anyone were to be in my shoes...wad shld i do?

Went Into Seclusion//*
at 6:34 AM