haa ..
i don't know what to think any more ..
she made a lunch appointment with me ..
cos she knows i won't ask her out de ..
lol
pathetic excuse for a loser found here .. kick him pls ..
but ..
why did she ask me out for lunch .. ?
2 hours can finish your essay ma
i think can try ..
does she want to be the centre of my life .. ?
i wrote .. about 2 years ago ..
" even if the person you love, doesn't love you, make her feel loved.. for it's the only feeling that makes life worth living .. "
ehh .. cool sia ..
something i wrote 2 years ago actually helped to shift my current life into a state of something that i hope, can be called "normalcy" ..
she doesn't read this blog ..
i dun know if i should be happy or sad ..
if you're finally reading this ..
ni hao ~
ni hen ke ai .. ^_^
tell me the answer to the question above k ..
there's only 1 question mark found above ..
hungry
gastric pain ..
right shoulder hurts ..
and , i signed up for facebook yesterday ..
only have 1 friend
and she doesn't wan to race me !!
: (
now i'm stuck with some cagavi prima or dunno what lousy bike .. =/
onemanga.com
got this series .. mx0 .. not bad wor ..
but if it's really impossible between us ..
don't let me know .. yet ..
help me get back to normalcy first ..
be my friend ..
let me like you
love you ..
keep rejecting me if i say stupid things ..
keep me around ..
i will try and be as useful to you as possible .. ^_^
and ..
my post below ..
i won't delete it ba ..
cos i still find myself a joke ..
gastric pain ..
haiz ..
hmmm ..
where do i start ..
or ..
how do i start .. ?
how .. do i end .. ?
let's jus say that .. i was a christian ..
and i think that God doesn't like you
He allowed you to meet me
i am .. in your life
for some unknown reason, you're still .. here
it's a blessing for me
i'm very happy
that i've known you
thank you for being who you are
thank you for rejecting me
somehow i feel i've typed all this before ..
i prepared myself
to say goodbye to you so many times
every single time .. i hurt
it hurts ..
i'm asking myself
why can't we be friends
cos ..
it's too painful le ..
you know what i have done
you know where i have been
you know how screwed up and flawed i am
i fought with my demons
and i'm losing everyday
i can't believe how pathetic i am
worthless excuse for a motherfucker who can't get on with life
who can't move on
seriously .. all my life right now ..
is jus ORD ..
and waiting for you to get bored ..
not necessarily in that order ..
anyway who cares who smses who first
i'm jus being retarded
as usual
but ..
i like you very much
and that is something i cannot do
relationships ..
lol
what am i saying
like there will be any relationship like that ..
can't hurt to hope though .. =p
so ..
like ya .. stay single till you're 24
but i'll be praying that you will meet a guy who is able to melt your icy exterior ..
let me meet him one day
you have my number
now i'm jus composing this draft ..
this is actually draft 4 ..
so ya .. i did put some thought into it ..
even though i , as usual , jus type and go ..
but i'm going to go ahead and say that, in all evilness
i am tired of repeating myself
hopefully i'll be saying this for the last time ..
i really wan to be alone ..
it's actually very easy for me to disconnect from ppl
i don't have any close friends anymore
jus alot of hi bye friends
those kind of friends
you don't go online
you don't call them
they jus forget about you ..
it's bonus points if they send you festive smses ..
like wei sheng .. ^_^
but .. for you
you
you're harder
i jus can't leave you alone, can i
ignoring you hurts .. alot
looking at my phone for hours, trying to think .. what to reply
is considered ignoring you ba ..
cos ..
i don't reply .. till .. 13 hours later , etc
i'm going crazy .. i can't sleep
i'm starting to deny myself food ..
my self-hatred is going out of control ..
btw my phone is on top of the phone battery which is on top of the sim card
so .. ya it's off ..
i don't wan to like you anymore
i don't really mind if you hate me
i don't know ..
am i a friend worth knowing ?
i don't think so ..
am i a friend worth saving ?
like no ?
am i worth the time and effort ?
definitely not ..
yes i am asking you to leave me alone ..
again ..
it has been .. countless times le ..
please get tired ..
let me live and fight and die to my demons
..
i'll appreciate it ..
thank you ..
: )
you didn't officially give me a x'mas present ..
so let it be this ..
really ..
if this msg seems disjointed
it's because i wrote it in different parts
quite a few different parts
but i did try to make them flow ..
and .. it's not like you'll read crap written by me anymore
not in the near future anyway ..
wo bu pei
and erm ..Gundam 00 is actually nice
no .. i didn't like SEED or destiny
you should give a try
ask that whoever he is , the guy who made you hate gundam , go east coast fly kite
throw shurikens at him
and ..
i still do not have a 2B license
a bike license
that's why i don't have a bike now ..
sorry for lying ..
maple maple ..
good luck with your maple ..
