i jus remembered i left a rather .. disturbing "last post" on my blog ..

it's not a very welcoming sight to ppl who *do* bother to come here ..



ok, why am i here on a thursday night
keyword: wisdom tooth operation

yes, on the 23rd of july 2007
AD



like ..
you said
you told me before
that you read this blog
and that you have a blog .. ..

well ..
i'm stating the obvious
but our lives are totally polar opposites ..
don't you yourself think so?

you have a .. normal family ?
i ..
have nothing to say regarding that word .. lol


you have a full time job
you actually have things that really stress you out
shit that actually happen, that actually matter
i'm jus in the army
no life de
shit is also jus sign extra, do guard duty, go db ..
so ya, i actually have alot of time to think about things .. (yes the 5 day MC helped alot)


you're actually leading the life i want to lead (yes, i do want someone who does stupid things for me)
you're working
you're taking a part-time degree while working
it is exactly what i want to do after i ORD
it is something i thought of while i'm like .. poly year 1 or something .. ya, 3 years ago

so you .. can say that i'm jealous of you (in a hypothetical way)
and i myself say i'm scared of you (i jus say that because it's my way of avoiding you, i do not want you to see how weak and incompetent i am)
lol
i seriously, honestly am so dependent on you
i feel very pathetic about myself


i've grown to accept the fact that it's impossible between us
yes, i still think of the possibility of a .. bgr between us
but whenever i do think of you as my gf
and what will happen
i .. jus .. stop .
i get scared, like
you're a very nice girl
pls do not ever get involved in a relationship with me

so .. thanks for rejecting me outright
lol
after doing a little thinking about it
you have foresight sia ..
or is it my looks .. .. hmm .........
lol, nonetheless, you made the correct decision
credit to you




and..
omg .. all i'm doing is jus typing random stuff sia ..
lol
train of thought bb le ..

arr

summary
i need you
i like you
i don't know you well enough to love you
you wan reasons why i like you ?
there's alot
but basically
i really like you alot

u said it's jus because i'm in the army
sorry.. but that's rubbish
i had a poly education
what, are you saying that you're the only girl i can keep in contact with ?
i get dragged to church
i get dragged to chalets and things like that
why do you think that i won't like you anymore after i go out into the working world ?

hmm .. what i said here
i should say it to you in person .. rite ?
i think i will ..  ¶ 8:21 PM (1) comments