random thoughts of life
waaaaaaa
everyone update blog leh ..
orbit got new skin somemore ..
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....
haiz .. my life ..
..
jus .. wan to see her smile ..
..
mental strength is too important le ..
hope that i won't suffer from lack of that ..
..
i trying my best to treat her as a friend
to think in her shoes (her shoes very cute! got pink converse, then got black high heels, then .. the rest i dun know .. no chance to see :( .. )
and i suaned her quite alot sia .. feel so bad ..
but ok la .. i promised that i will keep things to myself ..
=p
..
wah lan, thurs (27/10) .. take bike at 8.50pm
8.50pm nvm ..
but training ended at 6.30pm !!!
i 2 hour, nothing to do sia .. =/
wanted to walk to amk central
but .. lazy .. hahahahaha
then in the end, go NYP mac , sit there watch the tv mobile plasma tv thing
..
watch for 15 mins, dun know which ediot go switch off the lights at that end of the macdonald canteen .. (the end with the tv)
then i watch tv in the dark sia ..
and i was hiding behind a pillar, u have to walk out of macdonald to see me ..
alot of ppl stare at me sia .. cos it's like .. i look like something out of a japanese ghost movie
got this guy, black cap, then only got the tv emitting light on me .. sounds .. .. weird rite .. hahahaa
but i dun think i freaked anyone out ..
as in .. no one screamed what ..
=p
..
then ok la , 8pm, some ediot go switch off the PLASMA TV
wah lan, ask me to watch the wall ar
somemore macdonald still open ..
ediot sia ..
at least let me watch tv la ..
then ok lor .. i slowly walk to SSDC
then i met ws .. he prac 2 le ..
so li hai .. hahah
i take my prac lor .. halfway , rain .. .. -.-"
then instructors end lesson early .. .. .. .. :(
waste my money sia ..
hope can clear all 8 pracs beside end of FYP
i'm confident that i can .. ^_^
cos i everything quite good
except for gear 4 and braking .. hahahaa
i'm a crazy mofo
..
hmmmmmmmmm
..
i dun know who i am anymore
in my mind, in my heart
i'm a guy who should be unfriendly to everyone around me
who should be ignoring everyone
but i can't
i really don't know who i am anymore
i .. am doing things that .. i don't recognise ..
doing things that i shouldn't be doing ..
and the thing .. the incident ..
it really ruined my life
i cannot be with her anymore
it's such an unforgivable sin
..
and everytime i think of that
i get very sad
..
talked to angelin today
she's very friendly ..
i asked angelin what she likes
what will make her smile
i mean no harm
i jus .. wan to see her smile everyday ..
..
but angelin asked me to slowly find out myself ..
^^
i agree ..
then now .. jus talk to her naturally ..
i hope that i can
i hope that i still have the right ..
..
FYP
..
taufiq .. sorry ar bro ..
we can get A for this, trust me
cisco security agent .. what's so hard about that ?!
pui !!
hahaha..
johnny bravo , we WILL show you
students
031735C
and
031853E
are not to be trifled with
you have been warned
and stop coming online on msn, you're scaring ppl
..
especially me .. hahahahahaha
jk jk
..
..
anyway, it's kinda of late
but happy birthday lim hong (20th oct)
..
i think he had a chalet .. nobody invited me .. :(
it's either lim hong or li hong (4th nov) ar ..
but ..
orbit's blog keep putting 'he' leh ..
then orbit today high ar ..
crazy ger
then her nick is semi high .. omg, she's like .. cute la .. nothing to say .. hahahaha
dunno them lar.. crazy gers with crazy thoughts ..
then i thought that sunny was giving out drugs or something ..
hahahaha
then .. she today very early sleep sia .. 10++ sleep le ..
..
i went carl's jr today .. to eat .. with friend
sia la .. $20 sia
2 'famous star' meals
5 piece chicken strips
the drinks , free flow .. ^^ !!
then the burger is BIG
fries alot
but
the burger kinda of cold
the chicken strips .. soggy ah .. some cold, some hot .. spasm wan ..
not worth $20 lar
but the famous star meal , at $7 .. is NICE !
worth the $7 ..
definitely ..
if u manage to read till here .. then go try ba .. it's at marina square .. the back there, 1st floor .. nearer to sun tec that side..
then the crew there, service not bad wor ..
i don't think i can provide that kind of service!!
hahahaha
=p
..
sian la ..
no money .. again..
forever broke
..
mother cooked porridge .. dunno for who ..
-.-
..
how come i today so many things to say huh ..
hmm..
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I HATE MYSELF
i want to go run
i really hate myself
i should be so much stronger
stupid left wrist ..
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
.. oops
.. hahahhaa
God bless her
amen
..
..
St Andrew's Village looks damn nice ..
the swimming pool is .. O.O !!
take 142, CTE near pp, can see
it's .. jus damn nice la ..
ppl my batch, miss all the fun stuff
Q$*((*@&#*@^#(*^@#($
arghh
..
dunno la ..
go burn disc le ..
he who overcomes, will be dressed in white
and i will put his name in the book of life
and i will bear witness to his name
before my father and his angels
revelations 3:5
..
..
till now ..
i have never thought that i am good enough for you
and for that, and that alone
i will fight
i will become stronger
watch me
7th.the0ry . yr0eht.ht7
i can't cry anymore ..
i feel like such a wimp
feel like such a loser
cry jus because she rejected you ..
i feel .. ..
heart very pain ..
my eyes hurt
my mother thinks i'm crazy
but she still takes money from my wallet, to gamble ..
soon i'll be struggling to find money to eat, again
i was so rude, so fucking fierce to her
i should die ..
i asked her to stop playin with me
i asked her to say it if she doesn't like me, and she wants me to get lost
i asked her if it would make her happier if i wasn't in her life
i must be on drugs or something
i was SO RUDE TO HER
what am i thinking
i feel like dying ..
my eyees hurt
i can't take the pain anymore
why does my heart hurt , so much
whyyy ..
i dun feel like going for fyp anymore
i dun feel like taking bike anymore
i dun feel like workinganymore
i dun feel like doing anything anymore
whyyyyyyyyyy
what did i do wrong
why can't i jus be her friend
WEHY MUST I LIKE HER SO MUCH
why ..
the guy beside her
i dun care if he's nice or what
i'm really starting to detest him
when i see them talking ..
i feel very .. lost .. and sad ..
then that seow one, still tell me that they are talking so happily
ediot
EDIOT
f*** f*** F*** !!!!!
starting to get pissed off by that guy
really really pissed off
i think i will either kill him, make him quit FYP or become his best friend by week 10
ARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
@_(*#()@&$*()#&$)(*#$#()*$()@#&)
i'm starting to find myself irritating ..
really really irritating
but she's still so nice to me ..
i think sooner or later she will ask me to shut up or something
but it's like
is my character really that .. flawed?
am i that really that irritating..?
maybe i am ..
or maybe it's jus me, being too harsh on myself again..
why do i like her so much
why ..
i can't find the reason
but i like every single thing about her .. really .. honestly .. seriously ..
except when she's cold to me, i don't like that ..
actually .. when has she been cold to me ? .. i think i'm jus typing random thing s.. i can't really remember such a thing..
argh, what the hell ..
even if she chooses to be cold to me, or to totally ignore me .. it would be justified ..
who the hell AM I
i jus barge into her life
and tell every single soul around her that i know, that i like her
i'm a mother fucker
the worst kind of guy who could exist
she has every right to hate me
but i do not want that
and she's like .. still so nice to me
i dun know
but i think i'm in love
for real
it's so conflicting though
my mind is so divided
so torn
half of me wants to love her
the other half says i have no right to
anyway, i'm so fucking ugly
i'm so ugly it's unreal
what the fuck have i been doing to myself
is my lifestyle really that dirty .. ?!?
why ....
i don't think she cares about looks though ..
so sweet .. ^_^
i really don't feel that i'm good enough for her
i don't dare to look at her
i don't dare to talk to her
all i do
is to turn my back to her
and walk away
hahz
running away is all i know huh ..
i'm so desperately trying to improve myself
i dun know
she has brought meaning to my life
and i do not wan to lose her by being such a big loser ..
i've lost enough things in my life jus b cos i am weak
no more
i don't care how or why
strength in character is what i will achieve
i like her
i really do
but my words
i do not trust my own words
i have made so many promises
only to break them again and again
in the end
right now
i feel that, i am not good enough for her, at all
i love u
10/11/2005 7:46:48 PM Daniel says: poke
10/11/2005 7:48:35 PM 7theory says: what
10/11/2005 7:48:39 PM 7theory says: ?
10/11/2005 7:48:53 PM Daniel says: you comming to ze bbq on fir
10/11/2005 7:48:55 PM 7theory says: ya
10/11/2005 7:48:57 PM Daniel says: uh
10/11/2005 7:48:58 PM 7theory says: read my comments
10/11/2005 7:49:00 PM Daniel says: sat I mean
10/11/2005 7:49:11 PM Daniel says: see ghost?
10/11/2005 7:49:23 PM Daniel says: go take a photo, fatal frame singapore version
10/11/2005 7:50:36 PM 7theory says: the police cordoned the whole area
10/11/2005 7:50:47 PM 7theory says: and wtf
10/11/2005 7:50:55 PM 7theory says: this is shit
10/11/2005 7:51:02 PM 7theory says: what the hell did *I* DO ?
10/11/2005 7:51:35 PM Daniel says: what happened
10/11/2005 7:51:42 PM 7theory says: i went jogging last night
10/11/2005 7:51:44 PM 7theory says: at around 2am
10/11/2005 7:51:51 PM Daniel says: ...
10/11/2005 7:51:53 PM 7theory says: i finished my run
10/11/2005 7:52:00 PM 7theory says: and was going home
10/11/2005 7:52:05 PM 7theory says: i saw something at my void deck
10/11/2005 7:52:05 PM Daniel says: jogging at 2am is like instantly suspicious
10/11/2005 7:52:09 PM 7theory says: -.-
10/11/2005 7:52:09 PM Daniel says: you rapist!
10/11/2005 7:52:11 PM 7theory says: i run at night
10/11/2005 7:52:20 PM 7theory says: alot of ppl know that
10/11/2005 7:52:29 PM 7theory says: i put location: jogging
10/11/2005 7:52:33 PM Daniel says: then what happened
10/11/2005 7:52:37 PM 7theory says: i saw something
10/11/2005 7:52:49 PM 7theory says: it was like .. 1 block away
10/11/2005 7:52:53 PM 7theory says: 1 block distance
10/11/2005 7:52:57 PM 7theory says: i couldn't see any arms
10/11/2005 7:53:00 PM 7theory says: and it wasn't walking
10/11/2005 7:53:11 PM 7theory says: but it's a human-shaped figure
10/11/2005 7:53:16 PM 7theory says: half white
10/11/2005 7:53:28 PM 7theory says: it was .. .. moving in a zig zag pattern
10/11/2005 7:53:34 PM 7theory says: zig zag random pattern
10/11/2005 7:53:43 PM 7theory says: not straight at all
10/11/2005 7:54:05 PM 7theory says: i .. walked slowly, back to my lift lobby
10/11/2005 7:54:13 PM Daniel says: mm
10/11/2005 7:54:22 PM 7theory says: the figure disappeared at the playground nearby
10/11/2005 7:54:25 PM 7theory says: ya, i did look
10/11/2005 7:54:26 PM 7theory says: sue me
10/11/2005 7:54:34 PM 7theory says: now
10/11/2005 7:54:37 PM 7theory says: i jus came back from fyp
10/11/2005 7:54:38 PM 7theory says: poly
10/11/2005 7:54:46 PM 7theory says: i see blue police tape
10/11/2005 7:54:50 PM 7theory says: all over the place
10/11/2005 7:54:57 PM 7theory says: the place where the body is
10/11/2005 7:55:00 PM 7theory says: is next to the playground
10/11/2005 7:55:06 PM 7theory says: the playground's next to my block
10/11/2005 7:55:32 PM Daniel says: well i doubt anything gonna happen
10/11/2005 7:55:41 PM 7theory says: but it's like
10/11/2005 7:55:42 PM 7theory says: i saw both
10/11/2005 7:55:45 PM 7theory says: BOTH incidents
10/11/2005 7:55:47 PM 7theory says: what the hell
10/11/2005 7:55:51 PM 7theory says: what the FUCK
10/11/2005 7:55:51 PM Daniel says: you see any people wielding hudge swords in black robes, give me a call
10/11/2005 7:56:07 PM 7theory says: -.-
10/11/2005 7:56:10 PM 7theory says: it's like
10/11/2005 7:56:13 PM 7theory says: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
10/11/2005 7:56:54 PM 7theory says: i dunno
10/11/2005 7:56:58 PM 7theory says: fuck, i dun wan to think about it anymore
10/11/2005 7:57:08 PM Daniel says: lol ok change subject
i'm quite sure that the thing i saw that night was a girl
the girl disappeared near the playground next to my block
the day after, a girl committed suicide at my block
the dead body was next to the playground
the girl lived on the 8th floor, same floor as me
i'm liking her more and more everyday ..
how ..
i wish this FYP would go on forever ..
but right now
my mind's kinda of messed up
my lift lobby's haunted now ..
and it has only been 1 day
how can i stop thinking about it ..
but when i talk to her, sms her, i can really forget about all my troubles and .. everything!
she's like so sweet ..
so nice ..
she cares about me
i know that she cares about me only as a friend
but i don't care
i really feel very blissful .. to be able to talk to her and all that ..
my life doesn't feel so meaningless anymore
2B!!
england VS austria ..
england's winning 1 - 0 ..
i bet alot of ppl are smiling now .. cos i think odds for england before the match aren't that low .. muahaha..
frank lampard scored via penalty ..
i used to respect lan pa (aka lan jiao) but after the Liverpool VS Chelsea game, i think that he's a mofo now ..
what the hell, u score a penalty against Liverpool and u go around the stadium asking the liverpool fans to shut up ??!?
you're a mofo, k? no player, however good or godly they are, should do that ..
anyway ur name's .. lan pa .. .. ..
u're a ang moh, and u dunno what that means, but well .. i think they call it a magic stick in gangsta slang? LOL
anyway, personally, i wan austria to equalise .. so that england won't finish group winners..
ppl like john terry need to lose more
ediots
but austria have like .. 27% possession?!?!
omg.. that's jus pathetic .. wtf ..
england have 73% and all they can manage is alot of overextended passes in the box and 1 penalty ..
-.-"""
go earn another penalty for crying out loud ..
anyway owen's off ..
if crouch can earn a penalty, it'll be so surprising .. ..
ARGHHH
go austria go
haiz .. i feel like writing about her .. but i can't
cos
i don't wan to like .. broadcast what happened between her and me to people who are like, seeing her everyday for FYP now ..
sorry .. really sorry, but if i'm her, and this stupid guy is like telling everyone around me what happened, i would get quite pissed off (and i think my temper is .. quite good ..)
so ya..
all i can say is
i like her more and more with each passing day
not a nice person .. bleh .. .. hahz
who, on this green green earth is more nice, huh?
no one
the day u hate me
will be the day that my life breaks down
that is so true
may i get to drink green tea forever .. ;)
=p
hahz.. jk jk
My Chemical Romance - Ghost of You
Vertical Horizon - You're a God <-- she's my goddess, hahz
nice, give those songs a try
ciao ppl
and fiq, u owe me Goal! tickets.. muahaha
for those who actually read this blog ..
my close friends ..
u know who i like..
pls pls pls don't disturb her about it ..
pls ..
treat it as doing me a big favour ..
k?
a million thanks .. ^_^
i know she doesn't read blogs ..
and i pray to God, whatever is up there, that she will not read this one..
didn't sms/contact her today ..
she didn't come online after i came back from work too ..
haiz..
i wan to talk to her more..
hahahz.. she yesterday night chat till totally went blur .. super cute ~~ !
then i was quite dizzy too .. dunno why .. headache ..
she asked me to go sleep ~ .. so sweet .. ^_^
i admit that i do not know much about her
and i'm in love with whatever i know about her
i'm crazy ..
argh..
anyway .. wei sheng.. i think ur that "gao gay" entry is about me sia ..
thanks ~~
tk care everyone
thanks for everything ..
you are all angels in my life ..
-7the0ry
