random thoughts of life
right knee kenna fucked
fucking of left knee in the process
my right knee
some bone in the knee cap
too high
and the thigh muscle above it
is pulling it higher
because that thigh muscle is weaker than the rest
it has to work harder
and it's pulling my fucking bone up
if it gets too high
i'll have to go for surgery
this is bad
now i have to manually tape down my knee cap bone
and wait for the "bags of sillicon" to grow back
in short, rest
my left knee's pretty much fucked now too
been leaning on it for too long
now have to train up that thigh muscle, specifically.
it's .. omg
argh
peace out
:.7theory.:
hahz
my house rocks
u can't get seriously ill or injured in it
or u're seriously SCREWED
i twisted my right knee
i limped step after painful step home
oh wow, no one's at home
mom's out gambling
father's out working
called my mom
she left her phone at home
didn't even bother to call "father"
he will probably hang up
hunger making its presence ever stronger
pain taking over
healthy har
last time i was seriously injured/ill was when i got my 8 stitches
mother couldn't bother to visit me in hospital
friends called father
he said "wrong number"
=D
life rocks man
i'm living on cup noodles and borrowed money
i dun even bother to cry
probably got sick and tired of it when i was young
no point too
no one will care
no one will give a damn
i seriously dun know where my life's leading
i'm fat, short, ugly and dumb
fucking hell, i'm not even looking at C++ coding now .. =(
ar well .. tk care everyone
btw .. pamela and ling veri cute .. =)
heard pamela tio fever .. =/ .. hope she gets well soon ..
cindy (ang? low?) looks like lucy liu ..
hahz
and SK looks quite cute too .. hahz .. but the last thing i would take into consideration is looks .. if the girl's not too wierd .. *cough* lee yong *cough* .. it'll always be fine with me .. hahz ..
peace out
:.7theory.:
my life's a joke
i was veri unsociable when i was young
ya, even in kindergarden i kept away from the other kids
but the teachers there didn't realli care
they were busy trying to slack and earn their pay cheques
in sec school i was pretty much the same
u don't talk to me
i couldn't care less about u
unless i needed ur help or something like that, of course
but i joined BB .. had this bunch of friends to "hang out" with
and the more i learnt about other guys (and eventually girls)
the more i realised that ..
argh, i don't know how to express myself in words
my childhood's pretty screwed up
in secondary school i would fall in luv with girls here and there
and i actually hurt a girl .. emotionally ... in sec 3 ..
i realli feel like a idiot now ..
but .. wtf .. i jus told her frds that i'm her bf .. .. ..
-.-""
ar well ..
for most of my frds
when shit happens, i'll try my best to help them
i will hear how their parents help them to fix it up
for me ..
i pretty much depend on myself
if i rack up huge debts
my father will pay
then i'll have to pay him back
i have to pay him back all the money that he's spent on me, mind u
he said that to my face .. and i tink he's counting or something ..
tomorrow's the start of the orientation planning ..
bbl
have to go help kexin .. another girl that i have a crush on .. =p
i didn't know that i made a entry for maths ..
hmmmmm
wtf, i tio java.lang.NullPointerException for FRIENDSTER
wahaha, didn't know that my jcreator was that pro ..
sian ahh
jus read vicki's blog
then come and blog too
sian
12 noon need to go report
sound like NS sia
but lol, if my poly's LTC is tougher than my company's LTC, i'll shave my head and go be a fucking monk
the onli thing that can be harder and more mentally challenging is NS , NATIONAL SERVICE. ya, it's that .. tough
hahz
aiya .. so far .. like the whole gang of bang bang is back for this camp .. storm ? marcus, shang jia, ma ma, swee swee .. but lee yong's going wor .. she'll be the most "omg" OGL .. wahahaa
results coming out on the 29th .. hope i dun get fucked by the stupid fucking idiotic piece of shit , gay , choo choo train
i'll plant c4 in that train if he gives me an F for ANYTHING
i swear
..
fuck
i'm .. .. tinking about 1290 again
=(
last paper today
as usual
kenna fucked for maths
=(
oh well .. no phone
with gerald
phones at home can't use
i'm very scared that my father will know
i'm left with 5 days of holiday
can't realli do anything without a phone
can't go out
can't meet ppl
etc
can't even work
argh
wtf
i'm making sacrifices for a friend
oh well .. maybe it's a taste of things to come ?
;)
lol .. =p
trying to find free MMORPGs now .. hmmm.. eternal lands .. hmm.. conquer online .. hmmm
hahz
tk care ppl
i was never one to excel at things
maybe that's why i try so hard
my life in my entirety, isn't a pretty picture
maybe that's why i always wanted to make the ppl around me happi
but my stuttering can get quite bad at times
that's because i'm alone most of the time
quiet most of the time
watching movies alone never seemed wierd to me
eating alone is part of my everyday life
taking on group projects alone is .. well, like something i would do
i went through hell of alot of shit
i didn't realli realise that the self-mutilation, suicidal thoughts, extremely low self-esteem, prolonged periods of depression are actually "bad things" ..
i read about those things in the newspaper and i tink "omfg, there're ppl like me.. and it's quite a big deal to 'normal' ppl" ..
if my parents cared to find out about me
they'll probably send me to the under 19 ward in IMH
the real me is one that never smiled
even when i was young, i cried alot more than i can remember
i'm trying to change
when ppl around me frown, i get upset
i'm easily influenced
i'm jus some selfish loser trying to crave out some respectable niche for himself
i put ppl before me whenever possible
cos that's my way of repaying them
the angels on this earth who couldn't care less about looks
and to the ppl like that
i say
thank you
