random thoughts of life

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

the need to be elite
the need to successful

the force?
motivation to do ..

to produce

mental strength

God

is Alex's father right ?
about .. just being happy? not caring about anything else?

the .. need to rewrite the sentence above this, .. is that desiring perfectness?

motivation ............

cue
routine
reward

but I am self narcassic (Narcissism) ?

..

I guess I am

I give in to my desires and wants so easily.

so sickening
I am such a sickening person.

strive strive strive

hel .. p
somebody

¶ 1:55 AM (0) comments

Monday, October 29, 2012

I guess I have not changed.

Still looking for the shortcut in life.

Relationships.

I want to be "successful" so that I can make the people around me successful as well?
Is that what I really am after?

It's such a struggle though.

DSTA, heh.

logic
knowledge
sales
physical ..

to be elite

to put one feet in front of the other

¶ 5:28 PM (0) comments

Thursday, October 25, 2012

http://jsomers.net/blog/more-people-should-write

To KJW, best friend? My only best friend.
CG tonight?
I hope you will be my stepping stone to greater things in life.
Thank you for being ever-so-reliable, and for being yourself.

Because I should write to everyone that I know?
But I own so many people so much.

¶ 2:58 PM (0) comments

Thursday, October 11, 2012

money,
it has lost meaning to me
all meaning?

maybe

it is just something to purchase
to buy food
to buy a house

something that everybody wants
and may be willing to kill for

something that i owe ppl

relationships
are so much more important

i found what i want to do
i want to become a venture capitalist
to help create jobs
to help create value
to help society

the world is crumbling
what can we do

not as a statistic
not just as a statistic

jun hao
he wants to ends suffering
by uniting the nations
into one?
or 14?

¶ 4:02 PM (0) comments

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

focus

i feel calm ..
thank God?

i feel like .. i am dying inside

the pain of it all ..

i still "owe" Jun Hao a write up, summary of his points.
his parting words.

omg
hungry
wow

¶ 3:56 AM (0) comments

tomorrow i am meeting darren

let's hope no legal action or police case is taken against me

even so

ASCC - being alive is hope
and hope is that someday the darkness will be over

look towards the future
and run towards it

being good at what i do

what i need to do
- recover from this cough
- train up
- become likeable
- charismatic ? lol
- sales
- logic

- econs?
- become likeable !

- read up all the rulings
- oh ya .. jian liang ..

dammit

sorry, shouldn't have cursed

God ..
help me

okay, time to talk about today
Alex got his Fixie
forgot to share the run naked link with him

i'm a boring guy

and i want to be accepting
i want to help people realise their dreams

money
30k
help me

plan
plan plan plan

cough cough

i am weak
temptation

¶ 3:40 AM (0) comments

Monday, October 08, 2012

http://stevecorona.com/

the reason, sort of.
why i am here

i got bitten.
i failed

now i need 30k to get back on my feet

it took a fall
to reset my mentality
at the age of 26

now
will i revert back?

to watching pr0n (not likely)
to procrastinating (i'm still doing it, ain't i?)
to choosing the easy way out (hope not)

today:
i cut my finger doing chicken wings
i failed .. ? the paleo diet
by eating rice

that is one unfair diet

oh ya, i need to write an email to to the nerd fitness guy

how does one do a paleo diet without rice?
like .. I'm chinese

Darren
..
Pray to God that he'll help me

God
..
still on the fence?
to devote my energy
my time
my life

God, give me a sign

To Do:
Nerd Fitness Email
Darren website
EasyRoomMate registration

¶ 9:35 PM (0) comments

Sunday, November 20, 2011

In this world,
There’s lots of happiness, isn’t there?

Happiness is a feeling,

Kust as depression, sadness and all the feelings that we experience.

Strength is being able to control it,

isn't it?

¶ 4:58 AM (0) comments

Everyone has a great personality.

It is just how much you allow it to die when things do not go your way.

¶ 4:53 AM (0) comments

if my life is meant to be this screwed up .. why do i exist then

Ж 7th.the0ry Ж
Ж male Ж
Ж b+ Ж
Ж free-thinker Ж
Ж 172cm Ж
Ж 59kg Ж

Ж Application Consultant Ж
Ж 35th singapore combat engineers (bridging) Ж
Ж boatman Ж
Ж ORD 060208 Ж

Ж flawed Ж
Ж cynical Ж
Ж hypocritical Ж
Ж extreme self hatred Ж
Ж liar Ж
Ж indecisive most of the time Ж
Ж is a mother flower Ж

wish list
---------
- money
- general fitness
- travel the world
- someone to love

a normal family
~~-my diploma~~
-ORD !!!
-part time job
-no more injuries
-caffeine addiction to be cured (this is going to be damn hard..)
~~coke is my poison, why should i cure it? what am i thinking ..

-class 2b license
-honda SP-150 (FY Plate preferred, 2nd hand, stock colour)
~~-won't tio guards in army~~
~~got posted to combat engineers

-t shirts with funny messages
-black formal suit with pants
-black plain button shirts
-new jeans
-new boxers !!!
~~-leg weights~~
~~run can liao
~~-wrist guards~~
~~-knee guards~~
~~-silver for NAFPA~~
~~-MotoRawR V3 Black~~
~~~~has access to a MotoRawR V3i now~~
~~using iphone 3GS now, i dun even like it, bleh

-new desktop/laptop ?
.P4 duo-core 3.2ghz
.2gb RAM
.any mid range PCI-E card will do
~~.750 gig HD !~~
~~1 TB HD
.router ..
~~-everyone to complete their FYP/IPP/Academic semester smoothly~~
-people around me to feel be happy.. ^^

last updated on 16th dec 2006 :: 9.05pm
last last updated on 5th jun 2010 :: 11.37am