Skype sucks.

Skype sucks. 

Sherilyn's gonna put her hand in her pants 'cause she multi-tasks well.

I seriously JUST heard that. What a fail.

Sorry for the lack of update for what, one, two months? Not like anyone reads this, but whatever. I don't feel secure talking about my uhm, problems and situations regarding life and teenage issues, so if you're actually close to me or something, feel free to ask and I might give you some information. I swear, Kim's the only one who was capable of milking names and everything out of me. 

Anyway. Full conversation of our horribly sexual Skype call (which isn't sexual at all, mind you) on Facebook and her blog. We're so bored, we're putting it out there.

Don't really know what else to say. Might update more frequently when I get back to Singapore. Might forget how to log into blogger again (yes, that happened right before this post). Who knows.

'Till then, 

Adios.

Useless Quirks 101.

Well, it has come to my attention that I have a strange quirk; I have the tendency to have pure, unadulterated rage when someone insults me. 


Now now, before you say "But Steph, EVERYONE has that quirk."


I don't care if just anyone insults me. I take it as is and throw a snarky comment topped with "your mom" right back at them. But when someone starts rubbing my most current mistake in my face (whether or not it was intentional), it really irks me. Especially more so if it's a (seemingly) small fault and I'm rushing to correct it - all the while they tell me my rushing won't do any good when if you think it through, it will. 


It boils my blood, it truly does. I don't know why; it makes me want to punch dolphins. 
... It's THAT bad. (See my subliminal The Oatmeal reference? Oh yeah, I get some.)


Anyway. Random rant about myself over. 


Need to learn how to tame tendency of overreacting and raging. Note taken.

I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me,

Very nerdy, I know, but give it a listen if you're trying to find something a little more... emotional? As compared to our generation's pop obsession, anyway. "Baby, baby, baby oh, I'mma tell you one time, it's Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday."
Yes, my title comes from said song. DA2's only voiced song off the soundtrack, but damn if it wasn't AMAZING during the credits. Probably the only thing I can get anyone who ISN'T a nerd/music-nut-who-appreciates-something-without-lyrics to listen to off this track, but whatever. 
GAMING IS GOOD STUFF.


I really can't get my head in the game. Well, I mean, it's in THAT game... But it's not in our game, y'know?
Real life just doesn't have that fizzle, crackle pop, no matter how I try and look at it. 
There's no epic music from this amazing orchestra playing, or some Grammy/Emmy/Whatever winning composer whenever a new setting, character or event is introduced. 
And... you know what I mean. It's just not up to par. Darn you, media. Your trope-filled creations have changed me. 


I guess that's all I really wanted to say. Point of the post: I wanted to use that song as a title, BECAUSE IT'S SO FUCKING BADASS.


Okay, I'll stop spazzing now. Cya.

I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough, I'm like, forget you.

I like to pretend that I'm distantly related to Jason Chen. He's got such an amazing voice. TALENT. WINNING.

Yes, I've had too much Charlie Sheen. I'll make my title for the next post one of his quotes. Promise.

Reading The Outsider now. Trying to finish it up before 9 so I can try and sleep (this post is NOT helping). I know I've got Chemistry and Biology homework due tomorrow or something. Just minor edits and whatnot and I'll be done, so I can't be bothered being worried, unfortunately. Spanish by Tuesday... Geez. 

This is what happens when I game too much. Almost makes me feel as if it's definitive that I'll pursue something related to gaming; what with how much passion I have. Easily spent over 40 hours - I think, I'm too lazy to check my save file - just playing Dragon Age 2 over the past two or three days. Man, what an experience. 

Portal 2 is coming out soon. I should be studying, I really should. But how can I, when none of it really matters? I suppose I shouldn't think of it in such a way. How negative. But I swear, this book has a horrible effect on me. Protagonist is one antiheroic, apathetic son of a gun that I can unfortunately, relate to. Not by much, but there's the connection all the same. 

Super stoked for the games this year. Not as stoked for my future. It's not a epiphany, per say, but I do still want to relay that I know life will NEVER be as exciting as I wish it to be. No matter how I try, no matter how I mold it - I can never coincidentally bump into an amazing hellcat who shares my interest while still changing me with conflicting ideals an- SEE. SEE HOW I DREAM?

WHY DO I TAUNT MYSELF WITH FRIVOLOUS IMAGININGS? 

Bah. I've spoken enough.

Also. Facebook. Breeding grounds for stalkers. 

I swear, in the future, murder and rape'll be the norm. People'll ask: Why them? How could they track him/her down? What did s/he do to deserve this serial killer hunting her down?

Facebook.

Oh. And Twitter'll have been in a shotgun wedding with said evil. 

"@LilyKiller Did you see my latest killz bro? HEADSHAWT."

"@JasonWannaIS Yeah, that was sweet. Just killed @SamanthaTheWhore because she talked too much."

"@LilyKiller Oh, wasn't she the floozy you stalked and charmed on Facebook?"

"@LilyKiller @JasonWannaIS Om nom nom gaiz."

"@OMnivore You ate @LilyKiller 's latest conquest?"

"@JasonWannaIS Yeah I did! Blondes taste funky. Must be the marijuana. @RickyPoliceMan You need to start cracking down on the pot circulation again. Oh. By the way, you'll never catch me alive, copper!"

"@OMnivore You sick son of a bitch."

"@RickyPoliceMan That's not what you said last night at the party. We've got proof - FACEBOOK'D."

... I got carried away.

You gotta admit though, that'd be a pretty interesting roleplaying game.

ANYWAY. Later. 

BROWN THE BROWN BROWN.

HEY WHAT UP PEOPLE-WHO-STILL-READ-MY-DEAD-BLOG-WHICH-THEY... DON'T.

So in actual context - HEY WHAT UP SELF? HOW YOU DOING.

I AM DOING GREAT.

YOU'RE QUITE AN EGREGIOUS PERSON.

WELL. THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT GREGARIOUS.

OOH. WOW.

... Cornucopia of "e" words, hey hey.

Brief update to say "hi", and to remind myself to blog. This should also appease Sherilyn and Kim, both of whom - if I remember correctly - politely reminded me that I needed to update this thing-o. 

I think I totally went off-tangent from the initial purpose of this blog. Oh well. 

'Twas supposed to be a daily thing, no? Ah, but alas, my failure to do so has once again proven that I am an INFP personality. (See how I just throw in random shit like that? Betcha anyone from St Margs'll find that fact very interesting. Ooh, Steph's an introverted, intuitive blahblahblah? Yeah, I am. It's actually quite accurate. Huh. 

http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html

It's a good read, if you're interested. I know, I know, it probably isn't you, but if you want to know more about me - or if you're trying to make cross-references/describing me to a near-T, I highly recommend looking at contents of that link. How... egoistical of myself. Quick, switch to modest/humble mode!

I SUCK. SO BAD, OH YEAH. WHO WANTS TO READ THAT? I DON'T KNOW. BUT IF YOU DO, I'M GRATEFUL. BECAUSE I'M HUMBLE.)

Alas. I've come to the precarious realization (yes. Precarious can be used in this context because it IS dubious) that hot people are marrying other hot people - specifically Hollywood people. And it seems as if they're... sticking together.

Hence precarious.

... That's not supposed to happen. Y'know?

I'm sorting out my life as we go along. Got my Extended Essay sorted. Really starting to work on all my other subjects (and I do mean ALL, senoritas). Trying to get into the mindset of working out.

Just reassessing my life, honestly. Got my goals in check. Just... Gotta find a way to climb that mountain.

Really miss Singapore and all its splendors right now. Oh, easy subjects, how thou is missethed. 

Reading The Outsider by Albert Camus now, by the way, for anyone who's curious. 

Next book for Higher Level English. Just got to page 13 before I was... distracted by a Youtube video of a cat begging for food. I have to admit, so far, I'm pretty enraptured. Quite postmodern, from what I can tell. It feels better than fucking Chronicles of a Death Foretold, anyway.

And yeah, we're done with Perfume. Man, that was a pretty good run in class. The movie doesn't really do it much justice.

But I digress. Have to finish reading The Outsider by next week, when we get back to school. Until then, I'll be trying to pull my pants up.

And to apologise for my dreadfully delayed blogpost - here's a picture of the pancake bunny.

IT'S SO FLUFFY YOU'RE GONNA DIEEE.

"You can't do anything."

Two different posts in a day, in a row? New record, woot.

But yes. My title: probably the one phrase that could set off anyone you tell it to. People are like that, they always think - wish to think - that they're capable of changing something to better the situation.

I'm going down this maelstrom of self-destruction, and I don't know how to get out of the never-ending vortex of losing my mind.

When push comes to shove, people are shouting at me constantly about how I'm useless, hopeless.

Maybe I am. Because shit, if I can't even save myself - if I can't sort out my own damn problems in the head - what the hell can I do?

Also. My ambition to get into University and all that bollocks? Thinking about it now, that's blasphemy. It would mean dedicating myself to a cause I don't firmly believe in.
It would mean dragging myself to work every day; sure, I may get this fat paycheck and a stable life but... What's the point if it doesn't make me happy?

People just don't understand.

I know, that sounded incredibly melodramatic. Great, now I'm starting to come off as some emotional fifteen year old who just broke up with his girlfriend.
"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PAIN I FEEL, NO ONE DOES. I WANT TO DIEEEE. WHY MUST SHE DO THIS TO ME? LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING ANYMOREEEE. SOB, CRY, SLASH. I SHALL NOW WRITE DEPRESSINGLY DARK POETRY FROM MY OWN BLOOD WHICH IS ALSO WEEPING TEARS OF DESPAIR AND AGONY. AND PLAY MCR BECAUSE IT'S GOFFIK."

... Peachy.

Heyyy, on the bright side, if (when?) I pull through this emotional nightmare of a rollercoaster, I can probably come up with some shitty sitcom that'll bank millions because everyone can relate to it and it'll provide all those quick fixes you see on TV so much!
Hence, people'll be instantly drawn into my world because they're mesmerized by the fictional quick-fix solutions and one sided dilemmas that are inevitably solved by the power of friendship and love. Y'know, stuff that never actually works in real life?

It's why we're so invested in fiction and media.

Let's us indulge in the life we always wanted - but never will have. Oh, the cruel harsh cold slap of reality. How you wound our pitiful souls.

Mm. I always was more cut out for comedy. Show biz.
Perhaps I'll spend my spare time in hopes of making a successful YouTube career (Mockumentary! :P) and make some cash off of that or something.

I know that's what Phil did.

Now my head hurts and I miss my friends. I shall go curl up in a corner, sob about my existence and slit my wrists while contemplating suicide talk to myself Lance about cool stuff.

Or y'know, I'll just hang around the Bioware forums.
That would work.

Kbai.

... Smiley face.

Insert Witty Title That Fits The Blogpost Here.

We're unsure of a lot of things.
Life constantly eludes us; it always factors in the unknown.


But I've come to realise that maybe I don't like the unknown as much as I should. I don't like not knowing.


The uncertainty and the ability to change my still hazy future isn't what I want. While people rave about it - how tomorrow is never predictable is what keeps life fun and exciting - I despise it.


I only feel trepidation for my future myself. For the uncertain. Ignorance is bliss isn't good enough.


I want to know who I am. I don't want some fucking life journey that leads up to me dying and having the "light-before-my-eyes" flashback sequence of all the important memories that I have. I don't want to study for subjects I know will never come to use in my future, but because I don't know what's going to fucking happen five or ten years from now, I have to learn it.


I don't want - don't need - to constantly try and push myself and start doing "something productive". I don't want to delude myself into thinking that maybe something I'm not doing now will help in my future - because y'know what? It fucking won't if I'm not already contemplating it.


This entire blogpost is a jumbled mess, I know. But I'm not exactly in the right state of mind right now.


All I know is... I want to know who Stephanie is.


I don't even want that magical penthouse suite in New York anymore. I don't need it.


I want to know who I am. I want to know why I'm like this. Is there a God? What are the aliens out there like? When I die, will it just be white - will I seize to exist? Or will there be the whole "cycle of rebirth" thing going on?


I need not to be remembered. I care not for today, nor tomorrow. "Productivity" for me is a lie - I'm being all the productive I want sitting here and learning more about what actually interests me (because Tropes > boring Maths lessons any day).


I just want to know the things that today's "life experience" can't teach me. I don't care for the future - that's mortality, it only lasts for so long and it can end at any moment. I can OD or stab myself now, and it'll all fade away. (And what scares me more is that I'd probably be able to do that should I get that little nudge in the right (wrong?) direction.)


I want to know who the fuck am I. Who's Stephanie. Who's Lance? Why the hell must I have some sort of mild case of DID? Was I weak enough to need some sort of alter ego? Am I just crazy? Do I just play too many goddamn RPGs? What's my purpose? Because I don't think that studying is going to lead to anything. And another one.
Why aren't I normal? Contemplating everything that goes on in my mind is crazy - even I know that. Everyone's so damn afraid of death, of the legal system, of failure in their future... Why aren't I? Why am I only afraid of myself - of what I can do? Why am I so violently sick in the head?
And most of all - why can't I be epically awesome at gaming and get Minecraft too?


I just want to know. I just want it all to stop.


Ha. That would've been a dramatic ending sentence, but... I just wanted to say.


How am I supposed to explain to the 'rents all of this? That I hate going to school not because I can't cope with the subjects, but because I just can't stand the environment? The soul sucking, cold, suffocating air that comes along with being uncomfortable in my own skin around other people? The lack of familiarity and comfort I've always felt elsewhere? The fact that I want to kill myself... I don't even have a good way of editing that strike. Because it's really how I feel.


Oh angst-y teenage stage; why must you have such horrible timing that when I'm finally starting to take my first step into "adulthood", you come and put in all that self-doubt?
Why make me regret my choice of trying to speed up my childhood?


Although to be fair, I doubt it's the puberty stage that made me hate my choice of trying to grow up too fast.


I'm just mature enough to realise now that being mature ain't all it's cracked up to be. Oh, the delicious irony.


Pardon me if my blogpost was once again sporadic. Word vomit. Just gotta say everything that's on my mind before I forget, y'know?


Ha. I don't even know who reads this blog anymore. Tell me if you still read, please? :D


Talking to yourself ain't all it's cracked up to be.


I should know. I do it every day. Isn't that right, Lance?


Also, if there are any typos or strange metaphors or sentence structures, I once again apologise. Too lazy to ever edit this.

How time flies.

Also. I seem to be developing the horrible habit of putting my foot in my mouth.
And being extremely prone to injury.


Damn.


Anyway. Not much to say today, so enjoy the awesome Evil Overload list that is incredibly accurate.


I don't know. I nodded along to each and almost every point. It shall be my basis for when I RULE THE WORLD.
Or something or other.


http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html


Screw the princess. I'll go find me a badass chick who's willing to stay loyal to me. YOUR RUGGED CHARM CANNOT FOIL MY PLOT, HERO.

Colour me surprised.

Well, there's a shocker.


Just talked to an old... classmate? Friend? I don't know what to refer to her as. But it's been a long time.


And I think our conversation really jarred me a little.


It's just mind-numbing to realise how much one person can change in five years - in a way you usually don't think about. Mature? Intelligent? Able to hold a fluid conversation? Decent to talk to? Slap my ass and call me Sally.


We're naturally pessimistic; we tend not to think about optimistic "what ifs" and "maybe s/he'll change for the better! I can't wait to see it". We only think about the now (or the then, if you wish you look at it that way) and how we perceive said person as currently (or before). We're judgmental creatures like that, no point in denying it.


But the recent conversation leaves me questioning our natural regime. What if we're doing it wrong? That looking at the now is just going to lead to our inevitable downfall?
We've learnt to anticipate and adapt to the future in terms of marketing and technological advances... But what about in the social department?


I've seen the ugly. But the last thirty minutes really brought to my attention the light after the metaphorical tunnel.
Calm after the storm.


Good changes or what have ye when you least expect it, from the most unexpected places or people.


Don't really know why I'm blogging about this. But I felt the need to really get out the fact that maybe we're looking at some people wrong.


That while the old "don't judge a book by it's cover" saying is never followed, perhaps it's time to grab said phrase by the reins and check out the last chapter.


Because change is inevitable, time heals all wounds and life is a motherfucking bitch that throws you into a maelstrom of "what-the-fuckery" every chance it gets.


But hey. If the trio of butthurt strengthens you like I've seen it done for this person, I'm all for it. 


Because if our conversation has shown me anything; it's that everyone can be changed for the better. Some people just take more time.


Love ourselves? Optimism?


I might just take your word for it.


(I really hope she never stumbles on this blog, or this post.
That would be embarrassing.)

Happiness is a warm gun.

Interpret the title in however way you see fit. Could just be a song. Could be something else. 'Kay.


Posting to say that maybe it's easier for me to just be the blunt, narcissistic, pragmatic fucker I tend to revert to.


Better than being the amiable idealist personality I try to maintain; y'know, a "better person". Optimism? Fuck you.


Don't really know what to say other than I think I'm sick of being the butt of the insanely overused joke. And self-depricating humour is what it is. Self. STFU and GTFO if you think you can re-use my damn joke on me to cheer someone else up. I'm not standing there to let you have a free go at me.


Not really directing this to any one person in general, by the way. This is just... what happens when you let it go too far. When it happens one too many times after a long string of events. 


For the person I finally released all my pent up anger towards: I apologise. You don't deserve all of the blame. That being said, I hope you are aware that you have contributed to the little "poke-fun-at-Steph-she-won't-explode-in-my-face" group. Good times, aye? Maybe we'll laugh about this in the future.
Or perhaps you'll just slap me across the face. Both seem like very viable options right now, no?


I'm aware (or at least, I try to be) of the limitations in my jokes with regards to whom I'm talking to. Had I gone overboard, I assure you when I say: it's not the worst I could've done. I know, sounds like a shit excuse for myself, but it's the truth. Cold hard fact. I am a dick.


I just don't think anyone knows how much of a dick I am except myself. Damn internal thoughts (thoughts for me can be both spoken aloud and thought. Woohoo). And why yes - I do hate myself for being such a douche sometimes. Contradictory of the "narcissistic" comment, I know, but... I'm sure I can come up with a compromise.


I swear, I feel like I'm suffering from DID or something. 


Either way. I'm sure I'll revert back to my normal (is it really? Or does that just mean I go back to putting myself up as a ticking time bomb - just waiting for someone to push my button) self tomorrow. 


Sigh. In the end, this post was pretty pointless to everyone else except me.


\/ READ IT, IT'S TOTALLY NOT BORING AND DULL MOTIVATIONAL TEXT FOR MYSELF TO HIGHLIGHT. YOU'LL FIND MY BLAND MESSAGE TO FUTURE DEMOTIVATED ME COMPLETELY EXUBERATING. (Reverse psychology; get some! No really, don't read it. There's no point, since it won't make sense.) Also, I need to get a white design background thingy. Obvious reason is obvious.


Note to self:


Stop it.


Snap out of it. They're your friends/family, you dick. They don't mean it. Get a hold of yourself.
Chill, fuckwit.


K. Gotta remember to refer to 29th January every once in awhile. 


I also believe I have Adjustment disorder, but who am I to judge, right? I'm too lazy to hit up a psychiatrist anyway - plus, my parents don't know about my struggle to keep levelheaded.


I prefer it that way. Isolation. Quiet. Not nice to have someone bug you when you're in that dark mood. Peaceful. Calm before the storm. Y'know what I'm sayin'? I don't think you do.


... This post has been all over the place, hasn't it? 
I'll try and slink back into my relaxed state now.


I swear to God, nothing makes sense anymore. Disconnection isn't a good thing, is it? Rhetorical question is rhetorical.

What are we fighting for?

Hey guys. 


I'm in a fairly contemplative mood today. Or rather, perhaps just this morning.


It just came to me, as I was lying in bed that society has hit a standstill. We've made so many technological advancement over the last couple of years, and we've continued to notice geniuses upon geniuses upon geniuses who come up with revolutionary ideas and devices.


And yet, we're still stuck in the never-ending vicious cycle that is the education system.


Don't get me wrong - I'm not saying learning stuff is a bad thing. On the contrary, it's very rewarding... If you're learning what you're interested in.


And therein lies the problem.


Education has been based on tests and exams and presentations and results for god knows how long. You'd think that in this day and age, we'd be granted alternatives. Ways that people who show keen interest in a subject or topic would be granted the opportunity to focus on what he or she wishes to do, despite his or her "intelligence".


It's already been scientifically proven that IQ tests are not accurate, and academic results do not prove who is the more intelligent child.


So why are we still using those schematics? When we could probably think of a way that benefits everyone in our current generation and beyond by abolishing this inaccurate way of sorting out the tiers of "intelligence"?


Why can the guy who never wanted to be in Law or Medicine get in, but the person who has all the passionate intensity for said courses be turned down because he or she missed the cut by one or two marks?


Why are we unable to take action - when we know that we're good at one specific subject, but are unable to pursue said dream or accomplishment because another mandatory subject that we never wanted to take pulls us down?


It makes me feel that much more disappointed with humanity.


Because we've resorted to turning to cold, hard data that isn't even 100% accurate.
Instead of learning that some things are inexplainable. And maybe that "dunce" who chose not to go to school or can't excel in his or her academics isn't an idiot for not trying, or for failing. But is just being held down by useless red tape. When he or she has so much more to offer in this world, but never can.


Argue all you want. That maybe this entire rant is just because I'm lazy, hence why I hate our current way of living - because it goes against my sloth lifestyle.


But I only type this because I'm honestly befuddled. We know that there are people out there who aren't academically strong. Or physically fit. Or talented in the arts. But they're gifted in ways we've never truly come to appreciate or give the praise it so justifiably deserves as it seemed so insignificant and outlandish until we really come to witness just how passionate people are when it comes to something they truly love to do.


And that yes.


Perhaps, they may not ace their finals. They might not be the cream of the crop.


But they're better than those who never thought about this. That blindly following the current system isn't the most "intelligent" thing to do. Because it'll always cast away people that could've done so much more.


"Equality"? "Justice"? Not with this mindset, we don't.


This definitely won't be my most eloquent speech, since I thought of it on the fly.
And I'm not a gifted writer, by any stretch of the imagination. I was never really good at translating my thoughts into words (like all the other people who try and try and try but they never get that damned A that could've propelled them to the life they really wanted to have, and will never have the chance to undertake).


But y'know what? I'm passionate about this.


I'm passionate about my stance. That society is filled with bigots who blindly believe that this falsified illusion of what intelligence is - words, memorization and numbers - can really accurately judge and sort out the dos from the don'ts.


We're all intelligent. And I believe that.


Now we just have to wait for the rest of the world to do so too.

VPN and internet connection from China are MLG pro. 4reel.

My head. My nose.

Everything hurts.

I want to go back to Singapore. But I can't, because I'll have nowhere to go. Like, in terms of education.


Fuck me. Fuck me hard. ):


I've been informed by classmates that I have a Maths test tomorrow, and a Chemistry test the next day. I really don't want to go to school for this entire week. (At least, maybe until Friday. Then again, that's a half day off, so... What's the damn point, right?)


Really.


This year is starting out horribly. Granted, I jumped in an entire semester too late - which is why I'm so lost. Perhaps it'd be smarter for me to just sort of skimp out this first half of the year, study by myself at my own pace and start Year 12 from the beginning after the summer vacation.


I don't know, it sounds relatively sane. Would definitely save me the trouble of burning out, since I'm a competitive person when it comes to results, and I'd just stress myself till I want to stay reclusive. Forever. (I don't expect myself to jump into Higher Level Chemistry and suddenly ace it. No matter how "smart" people claim I am, I'm definitely no genius. I know - the truth! Coming to terms with it, it hurts!)


Sigh. Just an abysmal tragedy. I tend to obfuscate the truth in an optimistically blind (wait, isn't that redundant? :P) fashion when it regards myself - look through rose-tinted glasses in a way, if you will - but...


I swear, I think I just dumped an entire bucket of red all over my damn glasses (fuck tinting when you can just coat something with paint). Because I must've been CRAZY to think I'd ace this without a hitch.


God, why didn't I listen to Kim. (Right, because my fragile ego couldn't handle at that time the fact that maybe someone else is right - that I can't handle what's being put on my platter because it's too much too soon and that I'm not all that and maybe, just maybe, something could've confounded me and stopped me right in my tracks. I need to stop jumping on the Dunning-Kruger effect train.
I've gotten rid of my VIP pass, but I think that I still have my membership. Damn me.)


Gah. I need to really start getting into shape.
Get into gear, Steph. C'mon. Stop being so distra-


Tomorrow's Dead Space 2. And I can't get it here. D: 


-cted.


Oh God, why couldn't I have just gone to Canada. They're more slack. And Bioware resides there.


ANYWAY. A little positivity in store:


Even if I mess up this last half of Year 12, I can repeat and finish my entire IB run by 2013, June.
Basically, I can get into University at the same time as anyone who is going into JC this year and took half a year off because they chose to go to a University somewhere in America or Canada. (Since y'know, they start in August/September. After the summer vacation break.)


C'MON SHERILYN. AWAY WE GO.


Anyway. There goes my rant about how life sucks. How shit I feel. And how I miss everyone back home.


(I have Skype now, btw, if anyone's interested. The lag is ridiculous though, like... 5 seconds of awkward silence.)


K. Later, skaters.


(P.S: Would anyone in Singapore be kind enough to tell me if they know a place that sells 9x12" black frames and conservation glazed acrylic/glass? I'll be searching in China myself, but... Y'know, just want to do a price comparison if I can. Thanks.)


Edit later in the day: I think I should just change my title to "I am a pig." Catchy, right?


I'm guzzling down my 5th "Tokyo Banana" (not like that, you pervs. I know you were thinking it, ha. I don't swing that way. Now, if it were peaches... Yeaahh, you're cringing, aren't you? Revenge is sweet) for today. And I'm eyeing the sixth (and last) as soon as I'm done typing this.


It's basically the Japanese tourist equivalent of a twinkie, only instead of an insanely disgusting amount of preservatives and a vanilla filling, you get banana. And probably less preservative, since these apparently only are good till the 28th. (So my eating these are justifiable!)


My siblings didn't like them, but I quite enjoy these. Doesn't really taste too far off from actual bananas - and I can pretend that I'm eating slightly more healthily.


There has to be some trace of fruit in there, right?


Anyway. That's all I really wanted to say. Good stuff.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

O hai.


You guys were completely useless. :)


Went to the Bioware forums. Saw awesome news that made my morning. Bounced about. Managed to persuade the old man to let me use his credit card for this purpose.


Just went about sixty dollars over budget (curse you, exchange rate! And your damn shipping fees too!), but man, was it worth it.


Miranda Lawson (mini)lithograph, YOU WILL BE MINE. HAHAHA.
And that navy blue hoodie too!


I just burnt half of my scholarship on this (if my dad's a cheapo and won't reimburse my mom), but damn me if I don't feel good.


I think I should be regretting this decision. But I really can't. It's like telling someone who isn't cheap thrifty, to regret buying designer brand clothings.


For some reason, no matter how you cut it - the price seems justifiable. 


But yes, enough of that. Look at the title. Doesn't it make you smile?


I swear, me and Sherilyn had a conversation last night where a nice chunk of it was "LOLOLOLOL" because I found out that saying THAT is wayyy more hilarious than "hahaha". At least on the internet, anyway. But yeah, I'll update later - just wanted to get this message across.


PEACE OFF.

Game Releases of 2011

Random post (see how it's in a different colour?) for fellow gamers/anyone-with-a-gamer-friend-who-doesn't-know-what-to-get-them-for-their-birthday-or-Christmas-this-year/anyone-interested-in-gaming to take note of for this year.

Hm.

Batman: Arkham City (360, PS3)

Crysis 2 (PC, 360, PS3)

Dead Space 2 (PC, 360, PS3) January 25th. (LOLOLOLOL. I just realised that it's 4 days away, shit.)

Deus Ex: Human Revolution (PC, 360, PS3)

Dragon Age 2 (PC, 360, PS3)

Duke Nukem Forever (PC, 360, PS3)

F.E.A.R 3 (PC, 360, PS3)

Gears of War 3 (360)

L.A. Noire (360, PS3)

[It apparently is just PUBLISHED by Rockstar Games (GTA, RDR). Looks like a great game, though. And it's got film noir aesthetics. Hot.]

LittleBigPlanet 2 (PS3)

Mass Effect 3 (PC, 360, PS3)

Mortal Kombat (360, PS3)

Portal 2 (PC, 360, PS3, Mac)

Resistance 3 (PS3, 6th September)

Star Wars: The Old Republic (PC)

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (PC, 360, PS3)

The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii) <--- The only Wii game I'm posting. Ha. Ha ha.

Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception (PS3)

A bit of a messy list, and it's definitely not definitive - I'm certain there'll be at least ONE indie game producing company that puts out a game completely revolutionary/the game doesn't get the recognition it happens to deserve because other more well-known games are being spotlighted. (Examples: Alan Wake and Amnesia: The Dark Descent)

But these are the games that have a crap ton of media and are expected to be bang for bucks.

I know you're eyeing SW:TOR, Sherilyn. I wish I could join you. Sigh, Macs. ):

Yes. I expect myself to be tempted into getting half of those games. Oh look, my pocket. It's gone. Because who needs a hole when I can just BURN the entire thing, right?

K. That's the entire point of this trivial post. To remind myself (and other cool people) what to get. 

Oh. And to help those who have cool gaming friends that need a present list.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

I fail at life.

I don't understand why the Mac doesn't have two clickable buttons on their damn trackpad so I can easily maneuver between owning a PC and owning a confuzzling Mac.

Queer key functions. Causing me to delete my entire blogpost. Tch.

But yes. Anyway. The point of this post was to say (I'm just briefly summarizing this up because it's too difficult to remember what I said word for word when I haven't eaten breakfast yet):

I have my albums.

I want awesome friends who get me Mass Effect thermal and hoodie as a belated birthday/Christmas present. Yes. You know, if the entire 5/2 class just SHARES the price, including shipping to Singapore, you'd have to pay less than 10 dollars each...

I'm just sayin', y'know. Like, HYPOTHETICALLY, if you guys were that cool. Cough.

(No, I kid. Well, not really - because I'd actually appreciate the gesture. But I get that half of the class won't want to chip in to pay for my present, and the other half won't do squat without the other half doing squat who won't do squat... You get my drift, right? I'm relaying to you that you've never been able to work together before. So get your butts in gear.)

I went over to the dark side, following Kimberly's footstep. Granted, they don't have the cookies everyone raves about...

But free stuff is nice.

Sigh. 

I just looked at my "list-of-games-I-need-want-to-buy-in-2011" and I can already tell I'm going to be flat out broke.

Nine games (About 60+ dollars each, by the way) off the top of my head and counting. Why did 2011 have to be such a great year for the gaming industry, huh?

My nerdy nerdism (<-- new word, oh yeah, I'm so good I make water burn) is going to be the death of me. I can feel it.

IT SUCKS TO BE A NERD.

But I digress. I've slowly slipped into blogging about my mundane activities when I should be posting about my now hectic life regarding education in order to get it into your thick skulls that your life isn't too bad... At this point in time.

Hm.

Chronicle of a Death Foretold, page 121-122:

"He walked more than a hundred yards, completely around the house, and went in through the kitchen door. He still had enough lucidity not to go along the street, it was the longest way, but he went in by way of the house next door. Poncho Lanao, his wife, and their five children hadn't known what had just happened twenty paces from their door. "We heard the shouting," the wife told me, "but we thought it was part of the bishop's festival." They were sitting down to breakfast when they saw Santiago Nasar enter, soaked in blood and carrying the roots of his entrails in his hands. Poncho Lanao told me: "What I'll never forget was the terrible smell of shit.""

Great book. 

... No, I'm serious, it is.


And to make it even more fun! Chemistry!


Metallic bonding: (You'd think that this would be easy, but nooo, definitions always have to be long and challenging to remember because of big words)
The valence electrons in metals become detached from the individual atoms so that metals consist of a close packed lattice of positive ions in a sea of delocalized electrons. 
A metallic bond is the attraction that two neighbouring positive ions have for the delocalized electrons between them.
Solubility:
'Like tends to dissolve like'. Polar substances tend to dissolve in polar solvents, such as water, whereas non-polar substances tend to dissolve in non-polar solvents, such as heptane or tetrachloromethane. Organic molecules often contain a polar head and a non-polar carbon chain tail. As the non-polar carbon chain length increases in an homologous series the molecules become less soluble in water. Ethanol itself is a good solvent for other substances as it contains both polar and non-polar ends.


Why the fuck must I be so incompetent that the only subject I'm mildly successful at are Chemistry and Biology. Why couldn't I have been gifted in the arts?!


Also. I typed this entire chunk in white. Y'know, when I can't see what I'm typing unless I highlight it? Yeah, I'm 1337 pro like that. "Strange internet usage" should be a class. I'd score As on that one, even if it had a Higher Level standard.
(Speaking of which, do you remember the good old days when you were in Primary school and you'd just wish that there was some sort of "Pokemon exam" because you knew that you'd ace it? Good times, good times...)

Anyway. I'm done. PEACE OFF.

(P.S: Sherilyn, you advertised my blog on your blog? Bet half of the reasoning was to make  your posting on this blog feel less awkward. Boobturd.)