嘉惠，

很高兴收到你的信。我喜欢收到things from slow mail cos it always keep me in suspense and I cannot wait to open it! Ha. 我妈妈看到那个信封，就知道是你寄来的。我还在想是谁记的。哈。

我很好。没有interesting updates. Everyday is just doing the routine, which is work! Ha. 工作还好，没很忙, cos the peak period havnt reached yet. 我的同事都很友善，都很乐意教我。

今天我到一所学校，prayer walk at one of their lecture theater, 突然很想念在初级学院的日子。这么轻松自在。不用烦恼什么。所以你要珍惜在学校的日子。珍惜你现在的自由。为什么学校 is depressing? Tell me more next time.

我妈妈很有兴趣知道你在北京怎么样。我告诉她你在信里写什么。她不错吧，还记得你。你的天气很好，现在新加坡不是很热，就是下大雨, irritating.

谈到中秋节，你有没有吃那里的月饼？有什么不同？我现在在看一个香港连续剧-溏心風暴之家好月圓。就是那个我recommend you see one. I think the 1st one nicer. This one every episode quite noisy, always fight, but still nt bad la. Ha. The family sells mooncake this time.

I gave up in typing Chinese le, too difficult. Ha. I will try sending you letter by slow mail. Take care! Continue to seek the Lord! Miss you!

诗莹

I wonder why time pass so fast this week.
I wonder if I am really serious about learning sign language.
I am thinking if I am Job, how would I react?
I am thinking whether it is weird to talk to you. Ha.
I am thinking what to do for cell this wk.
I wonder why you all reacts this way.
I wonder which route is the fastest and cheapest to go home.
I wonder whether the mooncake taste nice.
Should I queue for this food or that?
I wonder whether you are an introvert or extrovert.
I wonder whether my cell members like 'be thou my vision'.
I wonder whether I can wake up early to pray. ( I cant! haiz.)
I thinking of how to answer when people ask whether my God is real.
I wonder why some guys can be so gentleman, polite and some guys are not! Ha.
I thinking of what to say to encourage her.
I wonder who read my blog. But doesnt matter la. I write really rarely. Dunno what much to write sometimes.

Nothing much to write. So just write down what I am thinking this week. I dun talk much, but do think more(but doesnt mean I think a lot. ha.). We are what we think, which is really true. Looking above, some of really trivia tots leh, better put on my thinking cap more.. Ask me questions, I love to think through them. Ha.

eh one of the beaches in Orange County.
Ya!

Psalm 139:17-18

"How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. "

haiz the photo will be much better without the shadow ( i think is huiling's.. ha..)

I picked up just that one any little grain of sand. That sand is me. so small among the no of sand in the world. but God still knows me inside out. He uniquely makes me.

the sands are smooth enuff to do the 'drawing'. we were just sitting down, playing with the sand, watching the waves, pple-watching..

the lifeguards in venice beach. ha. they really go around the beach doing their work - drive, swim, run.. oh they can really swim fast. ha.

some beach in santa monica. i forgot what the beach called.

Lake Tahoe.

The different beaches I went to in my California trip. God's creation! I love the sea, the waves, the sand. I cant find them in Singapore. the best beaches I have been in Singapore is the beaches in Sentosa. ya man-made beaches. what to do. ha. Who want to go there soon? Date me!

God is so close to us in the trip. Thinking about all the little things I prayed to Him, I want to thank Him. And thank God for the pleasant answered prayer :)

I missed Singapore when I was in US.
Now in Singapore, I miss US more.

I am holding on to many strings. Just like tug of war, I want to pull them forward, nearer n nearer to the goals I want to see. I want to see quick result, for them to be pulled faster to my side. But God has his own timing, the other side is pulling just as hard. The tug of war is not easy to be in. I tried real hard, for many days, there is still no winner or loser. There are times I am really tired, discouraged, but still holding on to the strings. This time, it seems like the enemy is winning slightly. No matter how much effort I put in in pulling them forwards, some went back to the original place, for me to pull again.

I thought I have handed them to God, maybe I have not.

God You take control.

1 Chronicles 4:10 (New International Version)
10 Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

God, grant my request too :)

God created everyone of us, uniquely. We are all special, in God's eyes :)

Psalms 139:13-14
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

And again, I was driving to a place without knowing what exactly is the direction, even though I drove there more than 1 time b4. Holland Village, near Buona Vista.

'Just follow the mrt track, you will get there' Ha. Yes, we followed, driving from Climenti to Dover. We were at an ulu road in Dover. 'eh, are we going in the correct direction. so dark, doesnt seem right.' We forgot where Buona Vista is, izzit next to Climenti or Dover? And I looked at the street directory too, thought we were at the wrong direction. Decided to Uturn.

We were wrong! Realised we are heading toward our school. Gosh. Ha. Uturn back again. Back to the ulu road in Dover. There was actually a sign that wrote 'Buona Vista'. But we were blind. Ah. My friend actually said 'Shiying, where is your faith, we were so near our destination. See an unfamilar road and we Uturn. Ha.'

Ha she actually talked about faith and I thought it quite made sense. Sometimes, we need faith in some areas of our lives. believing in what is unseen. However, many times, cos of circumstances or an unfamiliar 'place' you are in, causes you to turn back, further away from the 'destination'. Insenstivity to God's voice causes you to be blind to the 'sign' or 'direction' He give. Wah, God I pray I am still walking in the right direction.

Yes, we reached Holland V. but I dun trust myself with the street directory nor my sense of direction liao. Ha.

People who know me know that I love food. Ha, especially sashimi! Friday, I was really drooling thinking of it, after not eating it for so long. The thought of putting them in my mouth and the taste.. wahhh.. I couldn't take it. Tried all means, like calling my mother if she going anywhere that sells sashimi. And before I went for MCR seminar, I actually drove to serangoon garden cold storage to find if they were there. I had to risk getting in a traffic jam, risk getting fined(cos I did not have coupons with me. In the end, I really almost got it, had to run to the officer and apologise to him.) This is what is called desperation. You want a thing, you desperately want to get it, despite of any circumstances.

And then, just a thought came to me. Am I that desperate for God?
And this put me to shame. Cos my answer is no. Yes, I desire God, I hungry for Him, but not to that desperation.

Lord, I want to be more than that level of desperation for You.
When I desperate to be with You,
I want to run to my bedroom or any suitable place to worship You.
When I desperate to talk to You,
I will not hesitate to talk.
When I desperate to read Your Words,
I will take up my bible immediately anytime anywhere.

This afternoon as usual I was channel-surfing and I chanced upon a show in History Channel - 'Hippies'. Oh I thought this channel is quite interesting. I watched one of their show about finding the ark of the covenant, and another show about cain and abel. Ok anyway. sorry for being so not into the world, I thought hippies are just those who do hip-hop, who like to wear baggy clothes, who have long hairs, walking around saying 'yo yo!'. Ha. They form a culture, that make such a big impact to America.

Hippies started from a group of young people, I think in the 60s if I am not wrong, who want to find their so call 'freedom'. You know back then, people are so conservative. But they are the opposite - liberal. They liberised sex, introduced the drugs, were quite violent. And they are also those who prefer the nature, who want to live a simple life. They want a healthy lifestyle too, most are vegetarian or prefer to eat organic food.

They changed the music culture too. The hippie ethos influenced The Beatles and many more famous artists. And ya we learn that the consume of drugs and the lifestyle thay had, killed many of the good artists.

At first I thought that this is bad. They are the one who change the culture and maybe the world. People are getting more daring, more liberal in the wrong way. But I do admit that I like some of their music, like The Beatles. And their healthy eating started the idea of providing organic food. And they do influence science too, I wasnt paying attention about this part though. They influence IT too. The hippies are the people who think differently from the people back then. They are creative I can say. They introduced Apple. The internet was also created by their influence. Great ya?

Then I was thinking, ithere is no hippie, what will happen to america, the world now? I think at that time, if there is no hippies, there will be another groups wanting to do the same thing. Maybe it is just part of the growth of a nation. It could also be the consequences of what happened, eg the Vietnam war, etc.

Ya, today I learnt something new, about music, about the hippies, etc. The hippies only comprises a very small percentage of america population and yet they made such a great impact.
Hmm I dunno how to end. Was just encouraged that we Christians can influence our countries, the world too. But ya, provided we doing the right thing, give good influence.

We are the salt of the world, a change agent of the world!

Oh sorry if I gave wrong information. I didnt turn up the volume when I watched the channel. Was looking at the chinese subtitles throughout the show. Ha.

Friends. We are all created for friendship, not lonliness. Many people value friendship. Especially when there are times where family cannot give you the support, friends place quite important part in your life. But it is not easy to handle friendship at times. I heard from a friend, saying that friendship is a cycle. One early stage is being acquaintances, next is getting closer to each other, up to a point when we assume things from each other. When one falls short of your expectation, you wonder, are you that close my friend. and the next thing you do is to be less open to that person.

Ok not everyone is like that. But I am sometimes. Sometimes I thought I am close to some friends, but it turns out otherwise. Is it cos I expect too high an expectation from them? Maybe.

I am really thankful of the friends who are still there for me. I am not an easy friend to get along with, quiet, less interesting, a stay-at-home gal. It is not easy to let someone accept who I am, and still am my close friend. Thank you. And sorry to friends I have 'neglected' one way or another, I am still learning how to be a friend.

My dear friend is on the plane now. Haiz. was feeling a little down after sending her off. Ha. Cos I have to go back to reality again, to go to sch, to study, while she travels around europe. And ya is sad to see her off, that there is now lesser things to laugh at, one less laughter, one less person to eat sashimi with me, one less person to talk to. wah, I sound dependent on her. Ha. maybe cos we really spend time with each other, abt 9 yrs of friendship.. wow..

Alright, take good care Jiting. cya in July! :)

The Game of Life. Playing through the game within hours, where you will confirm get a 6-seater car; confirm get a loan from bank to college; confirm get a degree; confirm get a job (although it may not be a job you want); confirm get married; sometimes have the possibility to have children or even twins; and even if you have children, your expenses seem the same as having none; you can swap salary with people's if you are lucky; even though you are forced to buy a house, your house is at least much bigger than hdb flats; buying of stocks seems less risky; money seems easy to earn here; quite hard to get bankrupt.

Life seems to hav less obstacles and easy decision-makings in the game. How you wish life can be like that, ya, in your dreams. Ha. Life, in reality, is more 'interesting', can be complicated at times, but ya, all will turn out fine (right God?).

2007, a year of knowing more about myself. Sometimes it do hurt when you see your ownself. You want to be yourself, but you are not happy with where you are in now. A struggle of change or staying the same. A year of moulding and continuation of moulding in the coming year.

2008. Means i getting 1 more year older. It will also be a year of transition, from a student to a employee. Big change. Less freedom. Lesser time to spend at home (prevent me from being a hermitcrab), lesser time to spend with my friends and family. Will it affect me in my ministry? I hope not, although eh, ok be prepared 1st. OK this comes with an assumption that I pass all modules in the coming semester. Oh great, please pass shiying!

ok Happy New Year people!

oh one more thing, the Game of Life do need to be improvised further. Heh.

I dunno how to start, from where?

眼睛不停的看
手不停的按
但适可而止
够了
电脑电视
只要有电的
离我远一点

过个较原始的生活
或许比较好
有时各方来的资讯
会吸着你不放
进入它们的世界
要摆脱也难
喜怒哀乐
有时都愿它们掌控
是时候摆脱他们
时间
上帝公平的给
把它用在更有意义的地方上吧

Gosh. I feel so cina. Ha. Not easy to type them out, since I have not touched Chinese for quite some time. Ok, back to my studying. Heh.

奇 异 恩 典, 何 等 甘 甜, 我 罪 已 得 赦 免!
前 我 失 丧, 今 被 寻 回, 瞎 眼 今 得 看 见.
如 此 恩 典, 使 我 敬 畏, 使 我 心 得 安 慰;
初 信 之 时, 我 蒙 恩 惠, 真 是 何 等 宝 贵!
救 主 应 许, 爱 我 真 切, 使 我 今 得 盼 望;
主 是 盾 牌, 是 我 产 业, 是 我 生 命 保 障.
历 经 艰 险, 劳 苦 奔 走, 我 今 来 到 主 前;
全 靠 主 恩, 扶 持 保 佑, 恩 典 带 进 永 久.
住 在 天 家, 千 万 年 世, 如 日 无 限 光 亮;
时 时 颂 赞, 永 不 止 息, 仍 象 凯 歌 初 唱.

Just as I almost got into the trap of self-centerness, the trap of distaning away from my God, I came across this song on TV. Yes, it is a song we often sings. (Anyway, this is amazing grace in chinese, for those who still have no idea. Ha.) But it seems like a new song. I listened to every word the singer sings. It is beautiful, the reminder of God's love for us.

我的主耶稣，我时 时 都要颂 赞他, 永 不 止 息。

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and
You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God
Incomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same
You are amazing God

You are the Creator of all, so amazing, so powerful. And You are also my loving Father, who knows the depths of my heart and still love me so. :)

AHH! I drank tea last night, not realising the fact that it can actually keep me awake. And yes, I couldn't sleep till 5 plus in the morning! I was physically tired, so couldn't read book. But my mind was not tired at all. All I could do is to play a little PSP game and just lie down on my bed, hoping that I will doze off soon. My mind just had many thoughts, especially the conversation I had with my friends just hours ago. We talked about dating and relationship. Perhaps I really need to take some time to think about my values, the reasons I hold these values. I do not agree with my friends' understanding of what relationship and dating are, but I couldn't explain clearly the reasons why, leaving them so shocked about what I said. Ha. I still hold these values. Maybe the world has crooked too much the definition of dating and relationship that they see the definition as that. They said I am conservative, I see myself protecting my purity before marriage. And I think they did not understand what I meant purity is. It was a good conversation, at least I know what their perspectives are.

Use me oh Lord, to speak and live out the truth people should hear.

I just looked through my class photos, from Primary 1 to JC2. Woah! It is so funny. You can see how people change. The hairstyle, even their looks, etc. I cant stand my hairstyle. Ha. Some of my classmates' postures are so comical. Gosh, time really flies. I wonder where are some of my classmates. I have not seen them for so long. Now, I somehow know why people like to take photo. It really flashes back memories looking at them. Ya, I will want to take more photos now, especially class photos. Ha. When will I take one?

I watched '911-The plane that fought back' in discovery channel a few days before 11st sept. This is my 2nd or 3rd time watching, but it still broke my heart every time I watched. The many lives that were lost in flight 93 and even more lives lost in the 911 incident. Lives are lost, but what left behind are the broken hearts of their family members, closed friends. 6 years has passed, I think they will be still wondering, why this would happen to their husbands, wives, children, best friends.



'911-The plane that fought back' reconstructs the event of flight 93, at the crucial time from the terrorists taking control of the flight to the crush. Much of what happened on the plane were reconstructed from the ]phone calls made by passengers and crew. The plane's intended target was Washington DC, probably the White House or United States Capitol Building, but the passengers in the plane fought back, causing the pilot to early crush the plane to an empty area.



What is the motivation that wants them to fight back? It may be the last resort they can do, or it is just a gimpse of hope they see. Some motivation may be small, like just wanting to go home to eat dinner with their loving children. They are indeed heros to us, if not of their bravery, many more lives would be lost.



During the flight, many passengers phoned their loved ones, to say their last words. Their loved ones narrated their conversations in the show. "I love you, dear. Tell our children that I love them lots." "Everyone is alright here. Just wanna tell you I love you so much. Take good care of the family." Some sounded so calm, but deep down their hearts their feelings must be undescribable. What would you do, think and say when you know you will die in a few moments time? I will be terrified! Some remained silent, some cried, some tried to remain calm, some prayed together. And there are some who stepped out and wanted to do something about this. These are the people who influenced the passengers to fight back. Although there is no evidence, it was believed that the pilot(the terrorist) was threatened and aimed the plane down for a crush.



The loved ones of the passengers were devastated, it will be a scar that will remain in my lives forever. To say 'it is well within my soul' is difficult, I do not experience such big trauma as theirs, but I feel that knowing God still cares comforts me a lot. God bless them lots :)