Dear Uncle,Yesterday was April 17. This was a very important day for our nation. And of course you know why... yesterday was your annual payday! You worked hard all year; you kept us safe; you put in extra hours when necessary; you were a responsible steward of company assets. As your boss, I, for one, am happy to sign your two trillion dollar paycheck. And, as the traditional saying goes whenever anyone is given a large sum of money, don't spend it all in one place!
Now, since you're only paid once a year, I know you're acutely aware of when your payday is. However, many Americans might be confused why payday fell on the 17th instead of the traditional 15th of April. In fact, this is the 3rd time in the past 5 years that the April 15th deadline has slid. Why? Because the District of Columbia, a state-in-training if you will, established a legal holiday called Emancipation Day in 2006 that is celebrated on the 16th of April every year, in remembrance of President Lincoln signing the Emancipation Proclamation on April 16, 1862. Of course if the 16th falls on a weekend, then Emancipation Day might be moved forward to the 17th or back to the 15th. In the event that the 15th falls on a Saturday, I guess Emancipation Day would be held on the 17th and tax day would be bumped all the way to the 18th. Confused? I sure am! Brian Regan's "i" before "e" rule comes to mind in the context of trying to guess the tax filing deadline: on weekends, and holidays, and all throughout May, and you'll always be wrong no matter what you say! But, regardless of which day tax day is these days, I think it is entirely fitting that your payday comes right at the same time we celebrate freedom from slavery in the United States.
Alright Uncle, I'm going to lay off the sarcasm now and give you some honest, open feedback. In Corporate America, it's very common to have a formal review and assessment of all employees in an organization to determine performance against objectives set at the beginning of the year. So let's consider this your Performance Planning and Review--your PPR since you like three letter acronyms so much.
I want to be frank with you this year because my personal contribution to your paycheck hurt a bit more this year than in the past. There is one standard rule for filing taxes that is almost universal: Those who qualify for rebates typically file in January the second they get their W2's. Anyone who ends up owing is going to file on the 15th of April (or whatever emancipated day the tax deadline has been shifted to). This year, I filed on the 17th. Can you guess why? This is the first time I've ever ended up owing beyond my year-long withholdings. And unfortunately, I owed quite a bit. But I should be happy to co-sign your paycheck, right? If I end up owing, that means I've had a good year financially... usually. This year wasn't one of those for me. Why did I owe? Actually, it was a matter of paperwork--your paperwork. I followed your form to calculate how many exemptions to claim a year ago. I followed all of the instructions meticulously and came up with a number that apparently under-calculated my withholdings--by quite a bit. In fact, I even reviewed the form with my HR director and she couldn't see any mistake I'd made on the form that would have caused the discrepancy. The lesson? Talk to my accountant before formalizing my exemptions in the future, rather than depending solely on one of your worksheets.
Now, Uncle, I know you're thinking, "Whether you pay your taxes now or pay them throughout the year, you end up paying the same amount." And I would agree. However, when I have to pay a large lump sum at one time, there is more awareness and pain in the signing of that check. So, with that awareness and as your employer, I'd like to do some Progress Planning and make sure your objectives for this coming year are clear.
But before we get to the planning, let's first cover your review. Since no one want's to focus on the negative, we'll quickly gloss over that part. As for your departmental finances: In 2011, you earned a whopping $2.4 trillion in base salary and commissions. However, you spent over $3.7 trillion in departmental expenses. That means that for every dollar you earned, you borrowed 54 cents to help finance your bills. In business, some debts are necessary for growth. Some personal debts are also necessary for a home, for an education, or for personal transportation. These necessities often help provide growth for the future as well. Honestly, I'm not quite sure that governmental growth is one of our corporate aims, but let's assume that your deficit was directed toward that end.
So let's review that growth. You've been involved in the creation of 1.2 million jobs--a number that looks great on paper and would be phenomenal in a strong economy; however, job creation following a recession is expected to be high. The unemployment rate has dropped from 9% to 8.5%--although these numbers are hotly contested and don't necessarily include all eligible job seekers in the nation who desire employment. $77 Billion was spent on the education of our youth, helping to provide for their future, and gains were seen in average standardized test scores for math and secondary level reading. About $777 Billion was spent on Social Security. This is one expense that will continue to grow, and we expect some solutions in the coming year. $740 Billion was spent in protecting our clients from foreign and internal threats to their safety and in extending those same rights to freedom and liberty to the people of the world where appropriate.
These are some of our core principles, and we expect to take a hit financially to maintain some of those necessary programs. We won't dwell on the salaries of those in your department or the GSA department. Let's just assume that your annual report will show all of the benefits and growth that we will enjoy as the United Corporation of America in the coming years. I look forward to your presentation to the board.
So let's move on to the planning phase of your PPR. In 2011, you added some significant debt to our organization for which we will be held responsible. So the growth we experience in 2012 must provide additional revenues to allow us to keep the banks off our backs. Let's talk about two significant numbers: 15.2 and 1.3. The first number, 15.2, represents the number in trillions of dollars that our corporation owes to lenders. Now I know in big governments like ours, you can substitute the words billion for million and trillion for billion without much consequence. Big is good, right? But let's put that 15.2 number in context. If we spent $1 million every day since the day Jesus was born, we would not have spent the amount of money that our corporation owes its investors--in fact, we would have only spent a measly $700 billion, or the amount we gifted without expectation of repayment to the banks of America in the massive bailout a few years ago. Furthermore, if you stacked up our national debt in $100 bills, we would be looking at a pile of cash covering a football field and standing as tall as Lady Liberty's left shoulder. But we're never going to pay off our corporate debt if we focus on that monster debt only.
So let's look at the second number, 1.3. This is the number in trillions of dollars that we added to our debt in 2011. Now, in your defense, I know you're arguing that this was an approved deficit for the year to bring about corporate aims and provide growth for the future. But the number 1.3 should be quite familiar to you by now. Our deficits in trillions for 2010, 2011, and 2012 respectively were 1.3, 1.3, and 1.3. At least 2009's deficit was different: 1.4 trillion. But if we continue this trajectory of growth-motivated spending each year, we will double our corporate debt in a decade--never mind beginning the daunting task of working it off.We have to embrace the reality that we did not incur our corporate debt in one year. And we won't pay it off in one year, either. But if we don't change things soon, we'll be adding to our debt just to pay off the interest on our debt. If we made our clients and board members pay 100% taxes next year, we wouldn't even be able to pay off our entire debt with that income. In other words, we as a company owe more money than is made in the entire nation in a single year. Can you feel a bankruptcy breathing down our necks? I guess we can always become partners with Greece... perhaps they can bail us out the way we did our banks.
In most organizations, there is a culture that allows for mistakes. Often a warning is given or an employee might be put on probation when there is misconduct. Sometimes, there is a zero-tolerance policy in regards to some rule or regulation. Fortunately for you, this is not one of those situations. For now, your job is not in jeopardy.
But, in your case, we are looking at many consecutive years of abuses to department spending. I will concede that if you get past that nasty 1.3/1.4 number, you'll get to more reasonable deficit numbers such as 459 billion and 161 billion for 2008 and 2007. But if we again pulled out our Jesus million-a-day calculator, we'd find some interesting data. To incur the deficit debts from 2007, 2008, and 2011, we would have had to start spending one million a day in 1570 AD, 750 AD, and 1550 BC respectively. That takes us back to the days of Ivan the Terrible, Papal Rome, and the building of Stonehenge. History never seemed so exciting, right? Or so expensive?
So let's move past your financial mismanagement trend by giving you yet another slap on the wrist. Let's promise ourselves that this coming year will be different. And let's try really hard not to think about that debt interest or what will happen when our creditors stop lending money and start calling for repayment in full.
Our company is rather young in the context of history. We are 236 years old this year. In the Who's Who of History, we are only #65 in terms of empire/dynasty duration. In fact, the average duration of empires that spanned periods longer than ours is 321 years. So to make it into the top of the pack, we've got to make sure our finances allow us to survive into the 22nd century. So, planning for a company that will stand the test of time and let us pass up our next contender in Who's Who (the Second Bulgarian Empire), what are we going to do to get into the green in the coming years?
Recently, there's been some talk about giving you a raise. Would that help? The so-called Buffet Rule, that would raise taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans, seems to have garnered quite a bit of support. 6 out of 10 Americans think it is a good idea. But if 6 out of 10 Americans decided that Rhode Island was such a small and insignificant state that we should sell it off to Russia to pay for a few days of your department's financial spending, does that make it right?
I guess I'm a little concerned about all this talk about raising taxes to pay for your massive budget. And there's been little talk about cutting back. In fact, we've just added a new $150 Billion annual budget line item in our new and improved health care program. Now Uncle, I don't want to begin to debate that one. But the businessman in me sees continued and increased spending, but constant revenues. I don't have to be a mathematician to sense doom in that formula.
So I want to propose an idea, a plan that could be modified upon to be adapted to our corporate needs and culture. The success of this program has clearly been shown through solid research and is one that is guaranteed to succeed. Why? Because it's God's financial plan. Through the prophet Malachi, God said:
"Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."The first idea here is simple. Pay your tithes and be rewarded with a return on your investment. How does this apply to our organization? Pay your taxes and you get something in return. What? Protection from tyranny. Governing laws that allow our families to more fully enjoy the rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Laws that make the company a much better place for all employees. Services that can help my family during troubling times. Parks and recreation that are for the enjoyment of all. John Locke (the British philosopher and not the mysterious character from Lost) said, "The end of law is not to abolish or restrain, but to preserve and enlarge freedom." So when the windows of Washington are opened, what should precipitate forth? Preserved and enlarged freedoms.
George Washington, our hero and exemplar, also cautioned about government and its role, "Government is not reason, it is not eloquence - it is force! Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master!" So, to be clear, your paycheck is not granted to allow you to further restrain or abolish our clients. Rather, your role, granted by the people and for the people, is to take the collective voice of the people and establish common rules and regulations where necessary for the greater freedom of your customers. As the classic adage goes, the customer is always right!
Back to Malachi. What is a tithe? The word tithe, or tithing, is derived from the word tenth. In other words, God institutes a flat tax among his citizens--a flat tax of 10%. Can you imagine how many IRS agents would be out of a job if our tax code were that simple?
But let's look at our Income Tax history for a moment to see how our vision of federal taxes has changed over the years. The Constitution clearly indicates that the states can tax their citizens, but the federal government did not originally share that right. In fact, the federal government was to be supported financially by proportional contributions from the states. This supports the concept of United States that are to govern themselves. A federal government serves as mediator when state laws conflict and also serves to direct a national military and other services or programs that are necessary outside of a state's jurisdiction.
After amending the Constitution, the federal government began to tax individuals rather than the states. Originally, income was not a man's wages or his salaried earnings from employment. Rather, income was defined as earnings from investments, property, and other sources not connected to a man's livelihood and his ability to provide for his family. Over time, this too has changed.
And it continues to change. Our lawmakers are now debating and voting on a law that would raise taxes on certain incomes that were previously taxed at lower rates so as to encourage investment, to stimulate the economy, and to encourage the pursuit of happiness, which includes personal and family wealth.
Uncle, I feel you could strongly benefit from reading a dissertation written by Ezra Taft Benson, a former Secretary of Agriculture under Eisenhower on The Proper Role of Government. This should be required reading for every young American. At bare minimum, it should be required reading for any man or woman who takes an oath of office. Benson states:
"No one has the authority to grant such powers, as welfare programs, schemes for re-distributing the wealth, and activities which coerce people into acting in accordance with a prescribed code of social planning. There is one simple test. Do I as an individual have a right to use force upon my neighbor to accomplish this goal? If I do have such a right, then I may delegate that power to my government to exercise on my behalf. If I do not have that right as an individual, then I cannot delegate it to government, and I cannot ask my government to perform the act for me."So if our company is insistent upon taxing ALL citizens, we must do so fairly and treat those funds with respect when determining how to spend them. There are a LOT of worthy programs out there that could be enacted through the government. But do they pass this simple test? Benson continues to say:
"If I could only FORCE the ignorant to provide for themselves, or the selfish to be generous with their wealth! But if we permit government to manufacture its own authority out of thin air, and to create self-proclaimed powers not delegated to it by the people, then the creature exceeds the creator and becomes master. Beyond that point, where shall the line be drawn? Who is to say 'this far, but no farther?' What clear PRINCIPLE will stay the hand of government from reaching farther and yet farther into our daily lives?"You might say that Benson is on board with God's plan of taxation. If Warren Buffet wants to pay more taxes, that's wonderful. But, despite what he or any man may think about the tax burden that should be placed upon one class of people, we must tax fairly without respect to individual biases based on religion, wealth, race, or other class distinction.
God says 10% is enough to meet his departmental budgets, which include the construction and maintenance of temples and worship meetinghouses, the printing of His holy word, welfare programs, missionary efforts, providing an education for His children, and carrying on His work throughout the world. God's taxes or tithing funds are treated as sacred. Under the inspiration of the Spirit, a council of brethren carefully discusses and plans when and how to use these funds. Though they hold the responsibility for apportioning out these funds, these men are not without any accountability for this responsibility. A careful and thorough annual audit, by an independent firm, shows how these are used and serves to prevent mismanagement. You probably won't find many GSA scandals of gross negligence and mismanagement when it comes to God's money.
It certainly helps that God's government payroll is pretty small. In Christ's church, there are needs for some practical tools that help further His work, such as websites, family history tools, public relations, media, and more. So there are some programmers, social media experts, video editors, and the like on the payroll. But most of Christ's staff is voluntary. How does He accomplish this? Let's just say there are a lot of Warren Buffets in Christ's church. There are millions of individuals who donate of their time and of their substance for the building up of Christ's kingdom. With a lay clergy and generous donations from the wealthy Warren Buffets of Christ's church, God has no need to raise His taxes above a flat 10%.
But that is 10% for everyone, irrespective of class, gender, race, wealth, or any other distinguishing class. The widow, though her 10% may seem insignificant compared to Warren Buffet's, still contributes her mite, and feels a sense of contribution and sacrifice to her maker. There is great beauty in this principle. Essentially, there are no freeloaders.
Now in your tax code, there are many who make so little money that, not only do they not pay anything in taxes, but they also receive credits that end up giving them free money. Their effective tax rate, far from 10%, is some negative percentage. Now if I'm one of the wealthier American's paying 30+ percent of my income and see this happening, I probably don't want to pay a dime more than I have to. I might not evade paying taxes, but I will certainly be looking for any loophole I can find to avoid paying anything more than my exact requirement.
God, on the other hand, seems to inspire a great deal more patriotism than that. Missionaries for his church pay, out of their own pockets, over $10,000 to leave behind family, girlfriends, educations, sports, and much more for two years to proselytize and help the people of the world. Without the generosity of J. Willard Marriott, the founder of the hotel chain with the same name whose donations provide for the airfare of missionaries to and from their missions, that cost of $10,000 might increase by one or two grand. Can you imagine soldiers, rather than receiving wages or tuition assistance for college, paying $10,000 or $12,000 to serve in the army for two years for the opportunity to risk their lives for the spreading of liberty across the world? I can't.
So why do the Marriott's of the world feel so inspired to contribute to God's company? First and foremost, they love Him and find joy and fulfillment in sacrificing for Him. But there are some other reasons. They know the money is carefully and wisely spent. It generally is being used for the best of causes. And there is little to no overhead. In other words, my dollar contribution to the poor and destitute of Africa will be fully used to feed a hungry soul rather than to help cover the paychecks of those involved in coordinating the humanitarian efforts.
Finally, God does not go into debt. There are no deficits. Granted, His expenditures may exceed the income from tithing alone, but other charitable contributions fully cover any other considered expenses. If there isn't enough money in the tithing budget for a temple in the Slovak Republic this year, it won't be built until the money is available. That is, perhaps, the most important principle that can be learned from our God. Debt may occasionally be a necessary evil. But God's kingdom, or empire, will be #1 on the Who's Who list in terms of duration as far as financial security is concerned.
Now, Uncle, I don't feel that I've been rambling. There has been good cause for everything I've written. But I've written long enough. I think there is something for you to learn from The Church of Jesus Christ, Incorporated. In your department, it may not be possible to inspire lay Congressmen or volunteer executives. Your costs may be more than God's. You may have more overhead. But is it all necessary? Can you put any of your budget items up against Ezra Taft Benson's simple test before approving it for the next fiscal year? If the money isn't available to fund a commercial free broadcast of Big Bird to the nation, than either Bert and Ernie have to go or something else does. Money doesn't grow on trees, despite the fact that, at your discression, it can be printed on them. Might you consider making every citizen pay something, even if it is only a mite?
You certainly have some advantages, in that your citizens are loyal. They love their freedoms. They honor those who have fought for and established their freedoms. There is a great deal of untapped patriotism available to harness. If they the people feel that you are a wise steward of their hard-earned tax dollars, they might be even more generous and less apt to look for loopholes in the tax code. You might inspire more volunteers and be able to further cut costs. But it has to start with getting your departmental house in order, balancing that budget, and responsibly establishing laws and programs that help to enlarge freedoms rather than restrict those who are already struggling so much to make ends meet.
As your nephew, I love you. I am inspired by you. I owe so much to you. I'm not looking for a payout--an inheritance of any kind. But Uncle Sam--or, as Dr. Seuss might call you, Sam I Am--as your employer, I hope that you might take a lesson or two from the great I Am. I truly do want you to pass up the Second Bulgarian Empire--and the Babylonian, the Neo-Assyrian, the British, the Egyptian, and the Ottoman Empires. I'd love for you to pass up the Chinese and Mayan Empires, as well, and claim the #2 spot in Who's Who, right behind Christ's Kingdom, but I honestly don't think Jesus will wait that long before returning and reclaiming His rightful role as King and Judge of His people on Earth. Please remember your founding principles. Please be a responsible steward. And please do your best to make this next year more of a financial success than last.
Sincerely,
Your Nephew, Your Boss, and Your Faithful Citizen
