to prata-kaki...

wednesday yes you! prata-kaki who lives in the east! you are full of wonderful surprises aren't you? haha! oh my goodness. thanks for the post card (upside down or otherwise!) and the little notes! i'm sure you don't need me to tell you how much of a morale booster it is do you? hehs. in any case, thank you again! i'll see you in a couple of weeks! =)

(wow. public display of erm.. gratefulness.. hahaha!)

note to self.

monday night various notes to self:

1. smile more
2. be less impatient
3. stop procrastinating on your packing; it's only another box
4. smile more
5. finish the book you bought last week
6. enjoy the last 27 days left in taipei
7. drink your last bits of alcohol because it's not going to happen anymore in singapore and certainly not canberra
8. take more wild photos of the clean kind; they make great wallpapers
9. stop getting people wasted with absinthe; your turn will come pretty soon
10. SMILE MORE
    

cold.

monday morning i've been uncharacteristically cold lately. been numb to all that's been happening and very distant from what matters at times. right now nothing matters to me more than the need to pack and be back in singapore. it's been a longtime coming and oddly enough, there's a part of me that doesn't want to leave.

why? because the past 1 year has been a taste of what it feels like, living the high life of sorts. having that sort of spending power. the sort of freedom that one will never get in singapore. the social status. the whole works. all of which i will leave behind here. i know i won't be able to afford all these in singapore, much less in australia.

so yes. the cold me has to go too.

and for a change, little sis wasn't wasted last night. hah!

another long week ahead. can't wait for saturday though. alex and gang will be in taipei for their r&r after 2 months of running around in the jungles and hills of south taiwan. should be a blast. always is when alex is around. his nonsense is infectious.

then may will really be a blur. the rush to clear my own mess in office (which i hope is minimal) and then whilst teaching my understudy whatever i can, there's shuren to entertain when he's here. at the same time, saying farewell to a lot of friends. then on the 25th. i'll be on my way back home.

home. there's only one place i can truly call home and that's where my family is. that nice cosy private apartment along sims avenue and geylang. that nice cosy apartment where 4 of us live though i miss the days when my maternal grandmother used to stay with us. heh. nostalgic at 1235am. what the hell eh?

so. a really long and incoherent post. just random thoughts that come to mind right now. so much for "我差不多要睡了。 明天再跟你聊吧。。" hah!

expected.

tuesday afternoon aargh. down with a massively high fever again. 39 and up. felt it coming since last week when i had less than 3 hours sleep every night. price you pay for being someone who has shown time and again to be able to work under high stress environments...

attempted to pack my stuff just now. started off with writing down the items in the box manifest before the fever got to me. went for a long nap and now i'm up.. medication and back to work again. gah. sometimes i wish my tonsils were not there. they hurt everytime i get a fever.

and to my lil' sis in taiwan. stop getting wasted already. hah.. it's tiring carrying you back all the time =\

edit:
wednesday evening

as feared. i'm down with tonsillitis again. at least this time only the right tonsil is screwed rather than both. it's back to porridge and glucose drinks. bloody hell.

burnt.

monday morning right, a really quick entry now. it's been a massively tiring week and i'm so drained all i want to do is just sleep at home the whole of next week. unfortunately we all know that's not going to happen right?

i just realised that the past month, i've been some sort of helpline for a fair bit of people. while it's comforting to know that people trust me enough to turn to for their problems, it's a bit of headache when sometimes, i can't really come up with a solution for them.

so, for now. back to my well-deserved rest. it's been crazy past week and i got another long one to look ahead to. sigh..

Dashboard Confessional - Stolen

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grand farewells
Crash the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in your highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

chilled.

sunday today was peaceful. and i mean peaceful. with most of the guys down in kaohsiung, the whole 6th and 7th floor was mine since last night. took the chance to do some cleaning up since the housekeeper didn't come this week. rest of the day.. well. i crashed on the sofa with my book and a bottle of green tea and read for a good 3 hours straight before i decided i needed to stop.

i have a nasty feeling my eyesight's getting worse the past couple of weeks, will need to check it out real soon. anyway, it's been a long while since i've woken up to a nice morning. not too warm, not too cold. it was a nice and comfy 25 degrees.

in any case, other than reading my book and doing some chores, spent the rest of the day surfing the net for info on canberra. doesn't really seem that promising in terms of things to do but at least they do have a floorball league that i'm sure i'll join.

so yeah. that's pretty much it for sunday. passed pretty slowly too if i may add. long week to look forward to. so it was a well utilized rest.

and to quote yongjia... "loyal to one, sincere to many, faithful to all". go figure.

decoy.

sunday morning it's always fun to hang out with a bunch of girls when you've got nothing better to do on a satuday night. that's exactly what i did and i just got back about half an hour ago. while i won't complain about the company, i will, however, complain about how difficult it is to be a fake boyfriend.

see, when you hang out and go clubbing with a bunch of girls, attractive ones too if i may add, it's only natural that other guys will want to try to pick them up. small talk, buy them a drink.. the whole works. stuff that personally, i may not even dare to try as well. not for the lack of courage but more because of the lack of "special skills" whatever that may be.

in any case, when some of them got too close for comfort or didn't get the hints that they should bugger off, i ended up as either their boyfriend or brother or some other related person. while it was fun for a while, it became increasingly difficult to maintain my "cover story" each time.

it's always easy to just tell people that i work in singapore and that i'm here for a holiday and such.. blah blah. then after a while, the rare few start to ask questions that really probe the integrity of the cover story. it doesn't hurt that i've been around taipei a fair bit so i can safely say i can smoke my way out of trouble. that said, when they start to ask intimate questions about my "sister" or "cousin", the urge is there to just slug them in the face to end the conversation there and then.

one pissed me off so bad i came so close to killing him when he asked how much would it take to "bed my 'sister'". the moment that question left his mouth, it was a fist to the stomach that replied his very degrading and offensive question. in retrospect, it was a very very stupid thing that could have had serious repercussions. thankfully, he took the hint and went on his way. so much for a start to sunday eh?

moving on... my carton boxes arrive on monday. so that pretty much means most of my stuff will be packed into them for sending back to singapore. as it is, i still need to work out when exactly do i want the courier company to collect the boxes for sending back to singapore. on one hand, as early as possible would be good since that pretty much means i've done most of my pre-departure stuff. on the other, i would be living out of a suitcase for the better part of 1 month or more. now i really got some decisions to make... again. sometimes i hate being a legal adult.. know what i mean? hah.

footnotes.

friday evening how could i have forgotten. talking about when i was back in singapore (again..). i must mention that after 4 years of rain checks, i finally met up with rachel! was great to be able to catch up with her even though it was a mere 2 hours at ya kun down at far east. but it was great. to be able to talk about things that mattered and things that we used to talk about on the now defunct-irc, over the phone and 160-character-limit text messages. oh yes, we remember those days don't we?

haha. and yes. mr sng, she did ask how you were doing. so you're not forgotten.

yeah. very incoherent and out of the blue. that's what happens when you're struggling to maintain your insanity whilst fighting to stay functional at work. i swear i'm about to lose my temper sooner or later. not good.. not good at all.

that sick feeling.

thursday thank goodness tomorrow's a holiday because i could really use the rest. my stomach's feeling funny and i think i'm down with stomach flu again.

anyway. i am so beyond frustrated with some things that i just want to stand at the top of a building and scream my head off. why bother asking me when do i want to return to singapore for good when the date has already been confirmed?

"i want to hear your opinion..blah blah." i have finished my 1 year obligation and more, i do not want to stay any more than what was planned for. this "exigency of service" that has forced me to stay even longer is a whole load of bull because that means i am due fair compensation. regardless, i continue to get my overseas allowance till the day i fly off but money is hardly the problem is it?

money isn't going to buy happiness. money isn't going to make me want to stay till the stipulated date. sure, i can take the money, pretend to be happy and go along with it. and i will. only because i have no choice anymore. so, 25th may. any longer than that then forgive me for kicking up a ruckus.