2007.

monday morning it's been a turbulent year at best. one filled with more downs than ups but all of them an experience to remember and learn from.

for one, i never expected myself to be working overseas. but taiwan came calling and off i went. it's been a long 9 months thus far and i've got between 3-5 more months to go, depending on when i'm slatted to return to singapore.

taiwan's taught me a lot - about myself as well as the real working world. things aren't as rosy as they are made out to be. office politics is rife even within the civil service and conflicts are well, plentiful. then there was the incident where i lost an acquaintance. one which taught me so much about the meaning of life.

religion. for a very long while i lost my way. i stopped saying nightly prayers some time in late april or early may. for whatever reasons i had, they are nothing but excuses. so it was fitting i spent my last saturday of the year amongst the Antioch people. hopefully i can get back on track with my spiritual development.

as far as friends are concerned, i guess being away from home for so long led me to try to get into contact with many of them again. i am not ashamed to say that it was in part due to the loneliness felt when i am in taiwan. the circle of friends is limited and to have to contend with internal politics within such a small group, it can be mentally tiring.

family. what else is there to say? i learnt to appreciate them that little more because of the distance. but i also learnt not to rely on them too much. so i became that much more independent which should serve me well when i head off to canberra next july.

all in all, 2007 is one of those years that is filled with lots of varying experiences, some good, some bad but all a lesson in itself. i thank the Lord for the family i have, the friends that surround and support me as well as all that has happened.

wishing one and all a fantastic and fulfilling 2008!

Antioch

sunday morning been a while since i went back to Antioch. i must say though, i do miss it. that wonderful feeling of homeliness. the comfort of being among genuine friends and of course, the spiritual growth that i've longed since i enlisted.

anyway, i went back last night and i still feel very buoyant from it. it was great. so much so that i want to commit myself once more to the group. perhaps stepping down as team leader the last time round wasn't all that good an idea. then again, i don't regret doing so. school was my priority then and i felt i needed to take time off.

but now, things are different. i can see that they need all the help they can get especially more so now that the group has grown from just 10- to 15 of us to somewhere closer to 40. it was uplifting to see such a big group this time round.

oddly enough, the sharing was about commitment. and i think it's fitting for me to say that i'll commit myself to Antioch once more. whether i'm in singapore or in taiwan, i'll open myself again to accept the challenges and spiritual growth that Antioch offers. of course, meeting great friends along the way doesn't hurt.

=)

stereophonics - it means nothing

Did we lose ourselves again?
Did we take in what's been said?
Did we take the time to be,
All the things we said we'd be?
So we bury hopes in sand
And my future's in my hands

It means nothing
It means nothing

You can find yourself apart
But you leave in which one you want
Coz they love you all the same
They just go by different names
Did ya fly your flag today?
Are you proud or just ashamed?

It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you

The sun sets in the sky
You're the apple of my eye
If the bomb goes off again
Blows my brain around the train
And I hope that I'm with you
Coz I wouldn't know what to do

It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
It means nothing
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you
If I haven't got you

Merry Christmas!

tuesday morning first things first.. Merry Blessed Christmas to all!

been back since wednesday and boy does it feel so good. so far it's been nothing short of great. meeting up with lots of friends, doing things i want to do, eating the food i want to eat.

the highlights so far (in chronological order)
- meeting up with gary
- poly classmates reunion @ ichiban
- lunch with ben and ivan
- floorball @ ngee ann (with brandon and reena coming over after that)
- brunch with marilyn (yay!)
- midnight mass @ SFX
- gathering of old pals @ BSC

and of course.. many many more to come.. just need to schedule. hah!

so yeah. for now.. happy holidays! =)

home!

thursday morning can't say how good it feels to be back in singapore. heh. okay. that's it for now. sleeping time.

why NS is a good thing...

sunday morning a little something about why NS guys make good students in uni..

after 2 years of physical training, we're tough and fit (mostly). so moving of furniture, lugging tons of books and a laptop isn't a problem for us. ask and we'll lend a hand.

we're trained to survive and be able to remain functional under extreme conditions, under immense mental and physical suffering. burning the proverbial midnight oil isn't going to be a problem nor will we leave anyone behind - we'll go through thick and thin for you.

discipline is our middle name (yeah right). we are always on time, if not early. the rush to wait and the wait to rush mentality. in the rare event that we're late, we show initiative. we inform beforehand. in extreme cases, we knock it down when we arrive. as the army saying goes, never make excuses because there's no such thing as an excuse.

we have been brainwashed to clean, polish and organize thus making us perfect room mates. lights out at 2230hrs is a norm so we won't disturb your rest. just give us our 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. or else.

due to the availability of cheap subsidized beer in the mess as well as various "initiation" ceremonies, most of us have an alcohol tolerance that would put an alcoholic to shame. so if you need a sober guy at the end of a party to help clean up, we come in pretty handy.

shifting.

thursday whoever thought that the simple task of shifting rooms and changing the furniture can be so political. was there really the need to pull rank? doubt it. even though it has nothing to do with me, the mere sight of it was purely disgusting.

and i don't buy into the logic about why we can't get some of the tables from ikea assembled first instead of waiting for tomorrow. does it mean that we're not allowed to do anything because you two are just plain lazy to move your f-ing asses? so much for "with pride i lead". what a joke.

in any case, i'm all packed for next week. i've got two duffel bags and a backpack. and not forgetting the two bags that i'll have to hand-carry along with my backpack because of some foodstuff.

that aside, all my other personal belongings are in boxes waiting to be unpacked once all the shifting and changeover of furniture is done. i doubt i'll unpack before i head back to singapore. so they'll probably stay in the boxes till next year. oh well.

okay, i'm seriously lacking in sleep having been up since 4am and am dead tired from all the moving and packing. doesn't help that i'm fighting a flu bug and a huge ulcer at the same time. aargh.

hah!

wednesday morning i have utterly no respect for people who have a lot to talk about military stuff yet don't know squat.

case in point: you went through pes C BMT. yet you want to talk to me about how tough it was? oh please. spare me. jerry cans are nothing compared to FBO and walking 24km and even 32km.

i have no respect and no interest in entertaining people like that. until you go through combat training, maybe then we'll have something to talk about.

that said, my short time spend as a combatant (1 year nonetheless) was filled with "war stories". from BMT fieldcamp to section live-firing to FIBUA with paintball-SAR21s and SAWs.. grenade throwing, m203 and MATADOR live-firing. p228 marksmanship and all that jazz. and let's not forget river-crossing. the only time in army when you really appreciate black (or even duct) tape, thrash bags and ziploc bags. and of course, "zeng-ing" my SBO and subsequently my LBV.

those defined NS for me. not paper-pushing work like now - map reading isn't fun. plotting charts isn't fun. i need to be out there. full-battle order with my rifle and a good section/platoon to fight alongside.

yum.

saturday evening allow me to list the following. i am deprived. really.

1. fish head curry and prawn tofu from sembawang
2. black bean sauce hor fun from chen fu ji at suntec city
3. roti prata with egg
4. chee kueh from tiong bahru market
5. prawn noodles at serangoon gardens
6. mee soto
7. salted fish fried rice in orchard (or bukit panjang camp..heh)
8. szechuan chicken from any tze char store
9. chicken rice from pow sing at serangoon gardens
10. fried carrot cake from serangoon gardens market or clementi market
11. char kuey teow from old airport road market
12. wanton noodles at smith street (if it's still there?)
13. fish ball noodles
14. fish soup with lots of chilli padi
15. samy's curry at dempsey road
16. indonesian food from pagi sore at far east square
17. value combo 1 from long john's silver (ha!)
18. cheap popcorn from any cinema (as compared to here...)
19. mushroom swiss meal at burger king
20. satay bee hoon
21. nasi lemak in pandan leaf with otak
22. katong laksa
23. peranakan food at bukit timah
24. grandma's cooking
25. dad's cooking
26. sister's baking
27. mum's tea
28. my own cooking (does this count?)
29. frosted chocolate malt at swensons
30. any other food that i may chance upon. hah!

11 days to go.

service to the nation.

friday i read saturday's straits times a few days back (because we receive our newspapers on tuesdays and thursdays only) and came across a commentary ("five ordinary men, an extraordinary legacy", paul jacob) about the recent dragonboat accident in cambodia. it wasn't the first nor will it be the last.

the piece generally sums up what the general public opinion might be, that is, the five paddlers died representing the country, thus resulting in more people being able to be empathetic and sympathetic.

i quote: "one distinct difference between their deaths and other terrible tragedies where singaporean lives were also lost...was that they died in the course of representing the country. i believe that struck a chord with people."

while there is no denial in that statement, i would want to point out that there are many other instances where the deaths (or injuries) go unannounced. without fanfare if you will. without publicity. and why's that? because for most parts, these deaths occur within a specific service (ie. army, air force, navy, police etc.). and as we all know, a lot of it is unpublicised for reasons i shall not mention here lest they offend people and i end up compromising on certain security matters.

anyone care to remember what happened in may? the one where i wrote (here and here) about how 50 meters stood between living and dying. that's one perfect example of how those of us serving the nation, face risks and put our lives on the line every single day. at the end of it all, it's only silent recognition that we get from the public. a public that in many respects, underestimate their very own armed and police forces (it's one thing for potential enemies to underestimate us and another for our own citizens to do the same).

so what am i driving at? while i don't deny nor disagree that the 5 of them should be eulogized and remembered as heroes who died representing the country, i feel that those who gave their lives serving the nation deserve more credit and recognition.

and even if there is no lost of life. what about the rest of us? those of us who got injured training to be as fighting-fit as possible so that we can perform as best as we can when the need arises.

how then do you weigh the cost of sporting gold medals as compared to the cost of your country's sovereignty? the simple answer is, you can't. and that alone should justify why those of us wearing the green, blue or white of the nation, should be treated with more respect and given credit where credit is due. at the very least, believe in us. it helps in the morale issue that plagues every armed force and police force.

note: this in no way should be regarded as a mark of disrespect of any sort. it isn't. it is merely an expression of opinion and comparison of national team members and civil servants who have lost their lives.

killer pringles.

friday afternoon pringles containing a preservative called potassium bromate - known to be carcinogenic. ha! first we had killer baby cots. tainted paint on toys. and now killer pringles? i don't think i'm alone when i say i'd rather pay that little bit more to know that the product i'm using (or eating) is safe. beware the invasion of killer products. it's a global conspiracy for population control. HAHA!

okay. i'm cranky. ignore me.

=D

migraine.

thursday been having a migraine since 1pm. since i rarely get migraines (or headaches for that matter). it really stinks. paracetamol only helps to reduce the pain. the entire left side of my head throbs and i'm resisting the urge to vomit (because there really isn't anything left in my stomach other than bile). gah!


it's hard to be a happy person right now. too many things to be concerned about. and i thought i'd have a good lead up to my home leave.

ironic.

tuesday indonesia's hosting a climate change conference in bali. how ironic is that? they can't even control they're own countrymen who cause the haze without fail (and without guilt too if i might add) every year.

if you can't even clean up your own country, what more the world? what a joke.

我的天啊！

星期天 糟糕了。这几天我常常在 msn 上一直用华文。。连在 blogger 和 livejournal 都有华文了。完蛋了。哈哈哈。。可是，发现到打华文字其实是很好玩的。哈哈哈。。我知道你们读了过后，就会想打我。我也想打我自己啊！

好啦。这个周末。。不知不觉的过得很快。闭上眼睛明天起床就是星期一了。哈。。（不晓得为什么一直笑。。）多三个星期就会吸到新加坡的空气。吃到新加坡的食物。喝到新加坡的水！哈！真是想念新加坡了。hai...

好啦。祝大家顺利的过这个星期。 =）