what discrimination? what brutality?

thursday there's an interesting piece of news on CNN lately about how a woman got tasered at least 7 times. the fuss now is about whether or not the police officer overdid it and whether this is a form of police brutality.

looking at all the comments posted on CNN's article, one can come to a conclusion (to a certain extent) that those who are opposed to the officer's "behavior" tend to be female. why do i say so? read the article, click on the comments and you'll see.

one reader brought up what i felt was a very valid point: had the "victim" been a guy, nothing would have been said. even if there was anything, it would have been minimal. the ruckus comes about now only because the "victim" is a woman - and not a very civilized one if i might add.

for someone who admitted she was heavily intoxicated, admitted to having a confrontation with the bartender, for refusing to listen to a police officer and even smashing a police car's window, how much benefit of the doubt do we give her?

and if she could withstand 3 or 4 shots before "going down", i don't know about you but i'd be pretty shocked myself. 50,000 volts a shot is not a joke. but it only proves how tough this "cookie" is before she finally got subdued by 3 officers.

to claim that the police used excessive force may and may not be true. yet to demand that the police officer be fired and charged in court for police "brutality"? i think not. put it this way, if you were in that position, how would you react? every step of the way it's only a best guess and lots of praying and hoping that the person won't do anything rash (or stupid).

police officers are there to protect the innocent and even those whom they're arresting et al. public safety versus personal safety. i think for most parts, singaporeans take their safety and our peace for granted. till the day comes we're faced with a crisis, i think we ought to be thankful and yet be on our guard.

before you read on, i must state categorically that i'm not a male chauvinist nor do i believe that men are superior to women.

now, we've all seen and heard it so many times, women demanding equal rights, equal treatment, equal this, equal that. basically they want equality. how is it then, when they're in the wrong or when things don't go their way, all too often we get the reply "but i'm a woman!"? is it fair to say now that being a woman means one is exempted from (in this case) the guilt of wrong doing and facing the consequences? i think not.

it wouldn't be fair to anyone else for that matter. say someone does the exact same thing and gets the same exact treatment in the future (perhaps even in the past that we don't know of?). the punishment meted out to this woman would set a benchmark for others. and if she were to be granted leniency because of gender, what the does it say of the legal system? justice is blind and fair remember?

as far as the taser-incident goes, it happend in the US and there's only a short video (ironically taken from the police car's mounted camera) to show how right/wrong the two individuals were so we really shouldn't read too much into it. but questions will be asked about how our own boys in blue will fare now that our police are also equipped with tasers.

gimme! gimme! gimme!

wednesday morning gimme my copy! give it to me now! oh wait. i need my xbox360 too. shites. and if any of you are wondering. Halo 3 is out. my dad pre-ordered for me and i can't wait to play. but i'll only get to in december. damn.

more games to play with my sister's boyfriend then. haha! speaking of which. it was hilarious when we played Gears of War on co-operative mode. we were in my room one saturday night, volume up and lights out. crazy i tell you. the shouting, laughing, all that jazz. but it was cool. pretty much like how ivan and i played Halo 2 together. boys will always be boys yes?

so, hello Halo!

sidenote. i think it's time i invested in HDTV. then again, with the sole purpose of playing games on it. nah. not worth the money. worth a thought though. heh.

and pardon the excited-tone of this post. i've been waiting for a long long time for this. dare i say it, Halo 3 was one of the reasons why i wanted a 360. GoW was another. so was Ghost Recon AW 1 and 2. 4 great games on one console. how was i to pass it up?

same old same old.

monday heard the above mentioned phrase all too many times the past couple of days. makes you wonder how repetitive and monotonous our lives can be sometimes don't it?

anyhows, today's day 3 of a long weekend. since mid-autumn festival is a public holiday here in taiwan, someone decided that today should be a day off too. hence the long weekend. in any case, last week passed pretty quickly too. so it's 2 weeks just like that.

i'm already counting down to the 5 days with my parents next month. to december with a few friends and then my home leave. it couldn't come at a better time. really.

head's spinning doing the last bits of a project and i'm about to start on another slightly more challenging one. never thought that designing a web-based database would be part of my repertoire of IT-skills. looks like it'll soon be. wish me luck.

and my new favorite acronym: BTY

2As

sunday morning laptop's left speaker isn't working anymore. realised that when i sent my laptop for servicing the last time, they replaced my motherboard (i think) and i've been having problems. namely heat dissipation and sound card problems. won't surprise me if they used refurbished parts to replace whatever was replaced in mine. need to hang on till next year before i even consider getting another laptop.

anyway, it's one thing to be accused of doing something and another to be accused of doing something that you never did. and in the past few days, i found out that i am being accused of some things that i've never said and never did. and i'll fight these accusations even if it means people getting pissed off with me. do not question my integrity. i hold my principles in high regard. also. i do not like being accused as someone who "stirs shit". accusations and assumptions. you throw them at me, watch me throw it back. these are things not to be taken lightly - not with the possible repercussions that i've been told some people want to pursue.

shout outs:
marilyn - school may take its toll on you but we both know you'll get through fine. if sending you songs helps i'll be glad to do it daily. haha! and we'll go for more breakfasts/suppers soon!

winston - life deals us cards that may not always be favorable or pleasant. it's always a case of how do we go about then, making full use of what we have and then fulfilling our potentials as best as we can.

zhao - reply emails la! tsk.

definitions.

tuesday excerpts from cheryl's blog:

life insurance - a contract that keeps you poor all your life so you die rich
marriage - an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor's degree and a woman gains her masters
tears - a hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower
politician - a person who shakes your hand before an election and your confidence after
experience - a synonym for mistakes
boss - someone who is early when you're late and late when you're early

politicians...and all they're troubles.

tuesday morning i watched with interest as the european court upheld a ruling that microsoft had abused its market position in order to gain an unfair advantage over its competitors. a report filed by a bbc reporter from brussels (where the european court is based) billed the ruling as a "significant step" in enhancing the credibility of the european competition commission given that the commission has filed lawsuits against numerous multi-national corporations for the very same reason. but none come as big and as important (and as clear a statement) as that of microsoft.

a fine of 497million euros cannot be described as "hefty". it's an understatement. but for a company that earns nearly a billion euros a day (and i quote the bbc reporter), the fine is probably not as big a concern as the trade secrets that microsoft has been ordered to make public.

the rationale behind the lawsuit was to ensure that competitors had a "fair ground" to work in as well as to provide us, the consumers, with a wider range of options that may or may not make things easier for us. sure, the microsoft-haters would argue that things aren't always compatible, that other softwares in the market make a better option. but ask yourself this: which one of us has not used a windows-based computer before? which one of us is not using one right now?

the irony in that whole report that i found amusing was this: with the reporter in the foreground rambling away at how things will change in the future, the outlook of microsoft etc etc, the picture in the background clearly shows that the offices of the european competitive commission are using, you guessed it - microsoft windows xp.

so tell me, if you were to bring up a lawsuit against a company for unfair trading and monopolising of a market, why then are you using it's software? isn't it fair to say then that they should be using open-sourced software like linux and openoffice? is it any coincidence that the above mentioned softwares have their "base" in a european country? i doubt it.

in any case, some would argue that on a bigger scale, it's a "europe vs america" issue. take a look at 2 of the charges brought up by the european commission:

1. "consumers did not have real freedom of choice over the media software they are offered", so said the commission's lawyer, per hellstrom.

> now, anyone with access to the internet, clearly has options. winamp, itunes, divx, musicmatch jukebox just to name a few. whoever said consumers never had a choice? are we that paralysed (or plain lazy?) to go online and find alternatives? and if we do not have a choice, why then is there the option to uninstall the programs that come packaged (namely windows media player and internet explorer)?

2. "microsoft are trying to turn this into an intellectual property case when it's not." - thomas vinje, lawyer for european committee for interoperable systems

> really? if you were to create/invent something that turned out to be the next greatest thing on earth and everyone bought it, would you not want to keep how you made it a secret? if you're not good enough to enhance something, let alone outperform it, whose fault is it? for one, it's nobody's fault that microsoft hires the brightest and has what it takes to keep them happy. and for all the talk about interoperability, would it be better if the companies who feel the perceived-injustice, work together with microsoft instead of trying to go at it alone? perhaps the financial benefits would be greater but those are just the tangibles. would you rule out potential contracts/sub-contracting of projects in exchange for cooperation?

as a side note, one doesn't read of the european commission filing lawsuits against european companies if you hadn't noticed by now.

and should anyone forget, microsoft had a lawsuit against them by their very own goverment thrown out after appeal. political move? or did the american goverment suddenly realise that penalising perhaps their most globally-recognised and highest earning company was a mistake? imagine the financial implications:

lost revenue in taxes
potential loss of jobs not just at microsoft but their partners as well

granted yes, the lawsuits are that of microsoft abusing it's dominance in the market, but to look deeper into it, it comes off as another way of demanding that microsoft give up trade secrets because the product of unmeasurable sweat, tears and blood are something highly sough after. for what it's worth financially and morally. how is it not an intellectual property issue when you are demanding someone to give up trade secrets?

if you're good enough you're good enough. you don't have to resort to needing access to people's trade secrets (in all probability this would mean the windows source-code) in order to have a stake in the software industry. mac has made its mark despite the odds against it. did it require access to trade secrets of their greatest rival? perhaps but in all probability not.

---

i've never believed in civilians leading a military. even more so when those civilians are career politicians or arm-chair generals. when civilians meddle in a military strategy or try to interfere with what it's doing, people are bound to suffer, none more important as the soldiers on the ground.

for every change in policy, every "suggestions" and "best way", those on the ground have to adapt, adjust and re-orientate themselves. and it's not always as simple as "okay guys, we're going to do this, this and that." the logistics, the manpower, support arms and such are all affected. let's not even start on the human toll of lives lost, families broken et al.

it's with distant frustration that i read and watch on the news about how everyone wants the american forces and its allies out of iraq and afganistan as soon as possible. and everytime it's a politician offering his/her view and trying to pass some new bill that would require the military to pull out.

oddly enough, everyone can go on about how the war on terrorism must go on yet none are lifting a finger to combat it. what are these countries doing? apart from rambling and grumbling, not very much else i fear. and the americans, british and coalition forces are paying for it with their lives.

politicians. love them, hate them. we can't live with them nor can we live without them.

yummy.

monday morning weekend has been a blast. good food. good drinks. good company. the only thing lacking was the co-operation of the weather. after holding off for 2 days, it decided to rain when we were having a barbecue.

in any case. haven't had this much fun at a barbecue since poly. then again, haven't really been to many apart from the occasional chalets. on a "sad" note. after eating loads and having a can of beer, somehow someone decided that i should go for the half-yard challenge.

sidenote: a half-yard is essentially this long test-tube-like-thing that can contain up to 3 cans of liquid, in this case (and actually. it's only used to contain..), beer.

so for the hell of it, i went for it. after downing close to 90%, i choked and then i struggled to finish the last few bits. after which, it was a dash to the toilet and then wham. a long burp and a few bits of chicken later. all was back to normal. was told i downed the whole thing in around 12 seconds plus. so i would say that is an achievement considering i don't like beer and this was my first time drinking a half-yard.

but tim did it twice so i won't complain and compare much. his first try was around 10 seconds and his second was 9 odd. his replacement, kai sheng did it around 10 plus too if i remember correctly.

here's a tip for drinking beer that alan mentiond:

SSG - sip, sip, gulp.

applicable only to those who think that beer should be finished in one go and not slowly over conversations and some finger food. haha!

a tribute to WOSEs

thursday you know how your rank never truly reflects the responsibilities you are entrusted with? or the mundane and really crappy work you're tasked to do. well. here's a tribute to you all WOSEs out there from your's truly.

PTE - not a recruit nor a corporal. stands for PerverTEd because you get screwed all over by everyone and you curse and swear a hell lot to one another.

LCP - no longer a PTE and not yet a CPL. so you're stuck in the middle. Lan Cheow Peng is what you are.

CPL - been a long time since you were a PTE or a LCP. but you're not a specialist and yet some things you do, make it seem as if you're one. what a Cha Pa Lang soldier you are.

3SG - well. you made it as a specialist. the most junior of all specialists. hence you do 3 times the Sai Gang.

2SG - finally. you get that extra stripe. but it's all the same. 2 times the Sai Gang.

1SG - you made it this far. you break even, doing 1 time the Sai Gang. simple math really.

SSG - senior as you are, you know the tricks and all. you're accustomed to SG. and because of that you can Siam Sai Gang. either that. you end up on the losing end and do Super SG.

MSG - no not message. you're the Master of Sai Gang. you know them all. but you still do your fair bit.

2WO - 2 (to) Watch Only. no need to lift a finger 98% of the time. not when your rank is on your shoulders.

1WO - don't 1 (want) to Watch Oredy. eye power is more tiring than most people think.

MWO - Must Watch Out. eyes getting more and more tired.

SWO - Shout while Watching Out - you get so bored you start shouting at the rest below you. you're at the pinnacle amongst the WOSEs yet you're not an officer while doing officer-estab jobs. so. you let out your frustrations while shouting out commands and such.


- disclaimer -

if anyone where to feel offended. well. too bad. it's meant as a joke and if you can't take it or look at it as disrespect to the ranks as mentioned, you need to lighten up.

perfect.

monday

being perfect
is not about that scoreboard out there
it's not about winning.
it's about you
and your relationship to yourself
and your family
and your friends

being perfect,
is about being able to look your friends in the eye
and know that you didn't let them down
because you told them the truth.
and that truth is that you did everything that you could
there wasn't one more thing that you could have done.

can you live in that moment?
as best as you can
with clear eyes and love in your heart
with joy in your heart
if you can do that gentlemen, then you're perfect

fast forward.

monday morning i feel as if someone had turned the hands of time and fast forwarded it. it's been 6 months already and it only hit me when i was talking to geraldine. funny how time flies and yet can seem so slow as each day comes and goes.

looking forward to october, then december. then march and then may. june follows and then july. 6 major points in the coming months to look forward to. -rubs hands with glee-

boxing lessons are over. felt pretty good to pick up something physical and mentally challenging. but it still doesnt't appeal to me as much as floorball and ice hockey. speaking of which. i picked up my stick a few days ago and started shooting against the wall. the feeling of an accurate and hard slapshot. man. i miss doing it in the league and ivp. but need to work on my ball handling again. totally lost touch that i can't even direct a simple forward-diagonal pass. oh well..

retrospect.

sunday morning the past few months i've seen some of my friends commission as officers. each and everytime i congratulate them, i look back to last year when things could have been so different. i look back at how that bar was so near, yet remains impossible to attain. i make do with these stripes but only as a consolation.

everytime i congratulate them, i feel a tinge of bitterness. bitter that circumstances prevented a dream from coming true, bitter that so many things could have been a reality for me yet they are all past me now.

retrospect.

at some point in our lives we stop and look back at what we missed out in life. the many "what ifs" in our lives. very rarely we give thanks for what we have and what the future holds for us. as another batch of friends commission, i wish them well and good luck.

as for the rest of us. sergeants or otherwise. well, being a commander of sorts is better than nothing. i see my rank as a consolation, others will see it as a privilege or a right. whatever it is, we still got our jobs to do and fulfill. responsibilities to uphold and more things to look forward to in life than officership.

little shout outs and a few congratulations:

shuren - having fun dy s1 sir? haha. see you in december. save up for soccer!
alexander - dy s2! i'll see you soon over here when you're doing bioc. till then!
sangar - aye bro. staff officer or tekong? haha. whatever it is, all the best man. congrats and good luck whichever path you take.
eugene - who would have imagined? from the slacker in egarage to an artillery officer. haha! congrats!

knocked.

thursday morning for all the good publicity and respect that an organization has, it can all come undone by just one act of stupidity and utter incomprehensible logic.

so yes. we've all read about the NSF who took a SAR21 and live ammunition and ran about before getting caught in Orchard (of all places?). now, much has been said about the motive, his ex-girlfriend's blog and all that jazz. but take a step back and refrain from all the uncouth, unnecessary remarks about his ex, about the SAF and whatever else.

look at it this way, he has his reasons for doing what he did. whether or not you believe in the speculation(s) that he wanted to shoot his ex, commit suicide or go on a rampage, it's all irrelevant. his motive will be found out sooner or later. all the speculation in the world doesn't solve the issues at hand. namely:

1. the control measures in place; while the measures are far from perfect, they work fine. it's the people who are executing it, implementing it that are the problem.

2. were there warning signs that things like these could have happened? were there hints and warnings that the serviceman was emotionally (and thus psychologically) unstable?

3. what then was done had there been warning signs?

the SAF has a system in place for NSFs where we can sound out if we're unhappy with things or have personal problems. the first level of which are our buddies followed by the section commander or equivalent and subsequently up the chain of command. but therein lies a problem, the formal interview sessions that are conducted on a regular basis, to many is nothing but a hindrance and are mostly overlooked.

i've always believed that the best way to talk to people and to see if they are facing any problems are by informal means. during breaks in training, during admin time, over lunch or whenever there's free time basically. but of course, it only works if both parties are willing to put in the time and effort, more importantly, willing to open up and share.

so back to the image of the SAF. i'm sure people will start asking questions, commenting on the system in place as well as the methods used. like i've said many times before, they all work. it's the human factor that's the problem, at least most of the time.

in any case, given that the SAF was just given more 'powers' recently by parliament, however limited it is, people will take a long hard look and wonder if it really was for the better. being the patriot and believer that i am, i'll say it is. has anyone forgotten that it's been 6 years since our servicemen have joint patrols at the airport, protecting key installations around our country? yes. it's been that long. and even though this incident involves a serviceman on regular guard duty, the line between that and protection of installations (POI in SAF terms) is bound to be blurred.

as far as CPL Dave goes, well. he just messed up his life for good with an offense like this. i read somewhere that he is eligible to be charged in both civil and military courts. so the punishment meted out will surely be severe and should serve as further deterrent and warning to those who might want to try what he did. beyond what is reported in the news, those who were on duty that night are bound to be in the boiler. from the guard commander to the duty orderly officer, everyone will be questioned and i'm very sure someone down the line will be punished for whatever reason.

whatever the outcome, have faith and believe in the SAF. it truly is a world-class organization. the odd bumps will be there, rare incidents like these are bound to happen. people make mistakes and a certain level of incompetency will exist but nothing can disprove the very fact that the SAF is as good as it claims to be.

remember this though, given a choice between doing crazy things and/or stupid things, go for the crazy only, never both, never stupid.

crazy, not stupid things. ponder on that.

wtf?

wednesday morning just read this:

An armed SAF National Serviceman was caught in Orchard Road at 8pm on Monday, 20 hours after he had gone missing from camp.

Police said the 20-year-old went missing at 11.59pm on Sunday from the Mandai Hill Camp, with a rifle and some ammunition issued by the army.

200 officers mounted a manhunt and police found him near Orchard Cineleisure.

They also recovered the missing rifle and ammunition and will investigate the case under the Arms Offences Act.

The Ministry of Defence has identified the NSman as Corporal Dave Teo Ming.

Mindef said he had been given the rifle and ammunition for guard duty.

He is an infantry rifleman from the First Battalion at the Singapore Infantry Regiment.

Corporal Teo was enlisted in the army in September 2005 and will finish his national service with the army next month.

what the hell's wrong with NSFs these days?

mundane and unessential.

sunday afternoon 6120 classic or 6300? sony vaio sz370p or asus u1f?

i'm beat. been in the office since 9am. trying to clear some mundane work to make my week a little less hectic as well as making sure the renovations are going alright (not that i have any say. i'm just supposed to open the office for the contractors).

freaking laptop smokes. it's either on menthol light or menthol ultra-light. having changed the cpu fans the last time around, there was marginal improvement in the performance and the heat dissipation. looks like it's time to change them again. now if only they had the liquid coolant for laptops. hah.

back to work.. yawn.

shades of grey.

saturday morning where, when and how do you say enough is enough, you're going to draw the line clearly and make your stand on issues that matter when the people with whom you want to take up the issues with:

1. are ignorant about it, telling you to leave things as there are since you're only here for a few more months

2. do not think that you're worth the time and effort to listen to

3. outrightly reject your proposed solutions because of pride, laziness or just plain ignorance and not wanting to admit that something is inherently wrong

4. always have something to say about whatever you bring up even though their points are semi-valid (they just keep repeating their points over and over hoping to get you to drop your argument)

5. behave like you owe them a living

6. have sky-high and unrealistic expectations

7. expect you to do their "mundane" work and cover their duties in their absence; yet when you are not around, they do not cover for you but instead pile up more for you to do when you return

8. are unwilling to reciprocate help or assistance rendered to them; neglect their tasks (or should i just say - ignore) and eventually you have to do it for them simply because the job still needs to be done

9. have personal agendas when planning for certain things which may and may not lead to unfairness

10. think you're unable to outsmart and outwit them (they basically take you as a "yes-man" who doesn't ask questions)

of course, the answers to the last 2 points are obvious. two can play a battle of wits and maneuvering for personal space and such. but neither will win that's for sure. but i'll be upfront about it. i have very deep-rooted frustrations and grievances for points 7 and 8. i'm reaching the point where i'll just throw things back at their faces and ask them to do it themselves.

let's be honest here. there really isn't a need for me to be here in the first place. i'm doing such mundane work that i've lost all motivation for work, i've lost sight of my goal in coming here, i've basically lost faith and have very little or no confidence in everything here - the work process, the people, even the country!

now, as far as the issue of work goes, i can suck it up and just go along with it till i return home for good next year. that's all fine. but what i won't put up with, is when i go on leave (medical or annual) for a few days, come back to office and find a whole pile of things on my table, in a mess and total disarray. you know how it is when you have to cover/stand-in for your superior/colleagues when they're not around? take that logic/principle and apply it conversely - isn't it fair to say that in my absence, my superior/colleagues has to stand-in and cover for me?

what irks me is not only did that not happen, i was made to rush to photocopy a whole load of whatever and get it sent back to singapore the very same day when it could have been done and prepared a day before. and when i commented on how ridiculous this was, the answer i got was that of a dismissive cum "why should i do this kind of work" tone. so tell me, how am i not to feel at least frustrated?

again, i'm expected to cover someone else's duties but he can't do the same for me? and reasons like "workload" or "meetings", how much of it am i to accept? i won't accept 100% that's for sure. call me a bitch for bitching so much or call me a procrastinator for complaining so much and not doing any work, call me what you will but i dare say i've done more than my fair share and i've been nice enough to get things done to the best of my abilities. yes. i bitch about it openly but grant me that little bit of leeway because i still get things done and i get them done well.

dare you question my intelligence. go ahead. do so at your own risk. many a times i just refuse to get into a "discussion" about anything because it's a waste of my time, it's a waste of my effort and it's definitely not going to get anywhere because some people have mindsets that just refuse to allow them to see (much less accept) a different perspective.

so i'm back to the question: how then do you deal with these people? i'm trying hard to tell myself that it isn't worth the time and effort. they will be around longer than i am and i'm only a junior in terms of rank and appointment. but does this mean that i don't have a say in matters that affect me which can be avoided or at least made easier to tolerate? and since when was "command decision" and "don't question, just follow" a norm in things that affect welfare and general day-to-day activities/lifestyle?

if people are so narrow-minded and unwilling to accept that certain things are wrong, that they are the faults and not the system, then how are things ever going to improve? don't blame us the "temporaries" for having a low morale and for questioning so much. here's the difference: i'm professional enough to still go about my work.