SR-71 - Empty Spaces

I'm not afraid to go backwards and fix what we broke
My gaze falls behind, you make desire seem so easy
I hold off sleep, it's so silent without you here
Don't give up now, it would all be for nothing

I believe in second chances
I believe the years forget

Let me fill these empty spaces
Better late than never / Stay forever
Let me fill this empty space
There's always room for one more mistake

Can you feel that
I think we're moving in the right direction
I was someone else then
I'd take it back if you would let me

We were never this close when we were young
Every night I whisper your name at the top of my lungs

thursday morning just watched a movie on cinemax. an interesting comedy-drama. reality bites (released in 1994). provided an interesting perspective on life in america back when the term "generation x" was in fashion (we're "gen y" remember?). perhaps the part of the show that most of us can relate to is when the main characters graduate from university and attempt to find work and their own identities as well as loves process. what then can we expect for ourselves in the future? God only knows. but sometimes you can't help but stop and wonder..

am now just waiting for the live radio broadcast of the nhl playoffs to start (count: 30 minutes!). pity that espn doesn't show ice hockey anymore. i remember the days when i was still living in woodlands and then back a lor 37. waking up early during the holidays to catch the nhl. didn't matter which team was playing. didn't matter what the final score was. it was plain fun watching the games on tv. commentary was great (they call it color commentary). oh well. looks like it's back to good old radio now. hah!

random thoughts:

1. people change. do they really? deep down people have it in them to be who they are, either in due time or as who they project themselves as. so perhaps we're all living in a facade. a facade of false characters and false promises..

2. the only constant factor in everyone's life: change. we can't run away from it. we can't control how it happens. what we can do is perhaps try to dictate the circumstances that causes people to change, whether it's for better or worse.

3. facade or farce? are we making a mockery of life by pretending to be people we're not or pretending to be people whom we wish we were? or are we merely forced by circumstances to be who we don't want to be?

---

tying up lose ends? perhaps. but after further thought about it. well. some things should be just left as it is. there really isn't much point in trying to fix things that are probably beyond repair. regrets? perhaps. but life goes on. forward thinking and action. not backwards. life must go on. =\

tuesday morning i think the weather's gone crazy. at a time when the weather's supposed to be warming up in europe, it's all gone wrong with heavy thunderstorms and even snowstorms in certain places. global warming? more like global freezing. singapore's weather isn't any better. it poured in the evening for around an hour and my entire area was flooded. by that i mean it was just above ankle-level deep. and because of that. i had to walk a longer way home.. damn rain..

anyhows. sweden's more or less confirmed. depart on the 18th and back on the 30th.. thank God it's Finnair.. a more comfortable ride (and more entertaining because of the individual movie screens!) than KLM. hehs.. time to come up with a checklist of things i'll need to pack.. and i might be taking up favors for people if anyone wants sticks and/or shoes but i'll be stocking up on chocolates. no doubts about it. geisha chocolates!

anyhows. npfb did a great job for the cca fiesta. for once there are more girls than guys that signed up. problem is whether or not they are able to retain the same amount of members come ivp selection period and then after. well. who knows? like amilin told aisah. time for us to back off. not for us to lead anymore but hey. if we do advise and they don't take it up. well. there's nothing we can do right? we'll see.. we're all watching to see if what we left behind is being made better or left as it is or if it's all going down. let's hope it's not the last one..

monday morning well. it's back to school day for the NP students and it feels weird that i'm not going back. after 3 years. i can safely say that MOE has screwed with all the poly students' and lecturers' holidays.. haha!

sfl finals was great. owls put up a real show and could have won it but well. luck and perhaps skill plays a part too. nhac tre versus red flamingoes was a thriller albeit a bit boring sometimes. 2 goals in the first 7 minutes for nhac tre got it going and the way reds fought back to even grab a lead in the 2nd period was fantastic.. and oh! it was feisty too! anyhows. congrats to all the prize winners from skools. western conference champions. all-star awards. top scorer for the regular season.

i realise (again) that having too much free time can really screw with your mind. you think about things you don't want to. you think about people whom you want to forget and you even think about people who've disappeared from your life and then somehow you want to find out where they are. how they're doing. weird.. the upside is. there're lots of catching up on my schedule. question is. should i "reconcile" with one or two people? i hate leaving things in a limbo especially after a break-up. even if we don't get back together, the feeling of things being unresolved and us not even talking to each other sucks.. so we'll see what gives..

Remember the 5th of November

remember, remember, the fifth of november
the gunpowder treason and plot.
i know of no reason why gunpowder treason
should ever be forgot.
guy fawkes, guy fawkes,
'twas his intent
to blow up the king and the parliament.
poor old england to overthrow.
by god's providence he was catch'd
with a dark lantern and burning match.
holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
holloa boys, holloa boys, god save the king!
hip hip hoorah!
hip hip hoorah!

a penny loaf to feed ol' pope,
a farthing cheese to choke him.
a pint of beer to rinse it down.
a faggot of sticks to burn him.
burn him in a tub of tar,
burn him like a blazing star.
burn his body from his head,
then we'll say ol' pope is dead.
hip hip hoorah!
hip hip hoorah!

---

thursday morning with elections drawing nearer. thank God we don't have to resort to the actions of Guy Fawkes and his 3 fellow plotters back in the 19th century..

the funny thing is. alot of people have the impression that the opposition is opposing for opposing's sake. makes one wonder, how good is the opposition parties really? i won't pretend to know alot of politics of how the goverment works. but one thing that i'm pretty sure is this: if there's nothing wrong with the goverment, don't change it. i liked the televised forums between MM Lee and some journalists. the one that struck me the most was this:

journalist: sir, some people have the impression that the PAP is arrogant..
MM Lee: if we were arrogant, i would not be sitting hear talking to you would i?
journalist: -silent-

arrogance? is the goverment really arrogant? i would beg to defer. perhaps to me, the goverment is effective and has so far kept their promises (although i don't expect them to keep ALL but the majority of it). as far as the education system goes for me. they are taking the right steps to make the educational divide among the different streams less obvious. question is, is making the divide less obvious enough or do they, in the future, have to do without it altogether? i don't know. to many it may seem that it's a bad thing to have, especially for late bloomers (people like me perhaps?) or people with different talents. the sports school is up so that's all good. but how about people who are good in the arts? perhaps an art school in the future? whatever it is, the future generation of students are going to have it abit easier than the present generation of students..

Naked - Don't Cry

Winter comes for a reason
to purge your soul
with the change of the seasons
I spin out of control

Where can I find you
when you're not even there
no where to find you
Innocent eyes are blinded
when the candle dies

Put your arms around him
there'll be no sleep tonight

How can I help you,
when you're so far away?
No way to help you...
Should I pray?
Don't cry, wipe the tears from your eyes
don't cry, sleep with the souls tonight

There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming, silent screaming
tonight close your eyes, dream
There's no where to run, no where to hide
fear is a monster, no end in sight
no screaming , scream it away
tonight, close your eyes and pray.

Easter sunday morning 20 years being a Catholic. and proud of it too. unfortunately in recent months. i've found myself lost. so maybe this Easter is a good time to get back on track especially with NS beckoning.. hopefully someday i'll be in Jerusalem's Old City to walk the path that Jesus took. wonder how it will feel..

met up with giles victor jere and matthew on friday night. well. church's changed alot since i last went but i've hardly any regrets. i sincerely hope Antioch will continue to grow as a group and as a community. a part of me wants to go back to help out again but on second thoughts. events of past are pushing me away.. but anyhows. it was great catching up with the old pals, especially giles and jere..

reunions seem to be the order of business. first the church guys.. then my class chalet tomorrow at downtown east and sometime in may, #a197. hah! now when was the last time we met up? 5 years i think. and cedge will be cedge. ever the loner staying away from get-togethers. spoiler. hah!

skools floorball is rebuilding. hah. and i can safely say i won't be the youngest anymore. i think we'll be getting 4 new guys from salibandy and 1 other from nighthawks. thing is, who'll replace pierre? goalies.. we need goalies.. hopefully we get to play pesta sukan. that'll be cool.. SFL finals this coming weekend. hope it'll be smashing. and hopefully dear yingzhao will turn up (hint). hahaha. prata prata prata..

hitting the sack. nothing much else to blog about these days.. UNSW. biz law or psych? i've got the better part of 2 years to decide. NTU com engr, NUS arts, law and com sci and not forgetting SMU's ISM too. hmmm.. local or overseas.. -ponders- how bright the future seems to be.. hah!

thursday morning ever came across a song and while listening to it, it reminded you of someone or something? either by God's will or by coincidence (i'll take the latter). was listening to an internet radio station on windows media player. a stream of songs played in a 40 minute window and it somehow managed to capture memories from way back in sec 3 up till now.. the people and things that came across my mind when i heard the songs. haha. wow.. so here's a summarised list of songs that i heard and who/what they remind me off, arranged in chronological order of course..

Spice Girls - Let Love Lead The Way
-> Chin Yee, RGS Red Cross.
-> 1st ever girlfriend? haha. almost. good thing she wasn't too. but still. the first. think she danced to this song in one of her performances too.

Bardot - Higher Than Heaven
-> Red Cross Arts Fest. people like Zhenni, Sharon and even the St Gabs guys come to mind. oh. the play that we acted in too. that was cool.

Firehouse - Love of a Lifetime
-> Marilyn
-> title = feeling? -slaps self- was THE song that i was listening to back then.. good songs just stick around no matter what. but yeah. so does she

Daniel Powter - Bad Day
-> Miss Kee Yingzhao!
-> the best nightmare there'll ever be! the one person who always seems burnt out, busy and has absolutely no clue as to how good she is in floorball. what a shame. all the best with hockey though. haha! prata kaki =]

Yellowcard - Only One
-> Ivan
-> no idea. perhaps because you said you hated this song because of what happened. haha. i feel your pain man..

Craig David - Don't Love You No More (I'm Sorry)
-> Delin
-> simply because things ended on a sour note. miss her? sometimes. love her? not anymore.. some things just cannot be repaired

Oasis - Stand By Me
-> Widya, Mel, Brandon, Ivan, Aisah
-> Oasis concert. this song was missing. hmmm.. brandon kept asking about the song, i kept playing the song and probably irritated the shyt outta ivan and i'm still wondering how aisah came to tell herself not to go for the concert

Foo Fighters - Kung Fu Fighting
-> Shaun
-> comedy. dance. comedic-dance. prom nite 2006. need i say more? hillarious..

so maybe songs are a way to express one's feelings. but i guess they're also a way to help someone feel and remember.. especially the special ones.. smile people. it's a wonderful world with many wonderful songs. trust me. radio's crap sometimes. internet radio rocks. unknown bands/artistes but great songs. they'll make good music anytime of the day..

tuesday morning was reading the newpaper today. some dude going by the nick Redpony posted in an online forum that poly students were "stupid and mindless". well well. the great debate has now started hasn't it? the elitists and the smart ones and the dumb ones..

what pisses me off is the very fact that the stereotyping of poly students has stuck since God-knows-when. the same can be said for ITE. sad. how truly sad.. we're 6 years 4 months and 11 days into the new millenium and at a time when the education system is trying to revamp itself and promote poly and ITE studies, it's a big shame that poly students are held in such low regard.. the stats as published in the newspapers have shown that poly grads are in more demand than uni ones (most of whom come from JC if i might add).. also.. the value of a diploma is higher than that of an 'A' level cert. case in point:

why is it secondary schools and JCs are called "Secondary and Post-Secondary Institutions" education while Poly and Uni studies are called "Tertiary Institutions"?

true. tertiary is defined as "the third in importance value, behind secondary". but what tertiary education means it's of a higher value and to many, of more importance. whatever is taught in JC is merely a follow-up to what is thought in secondary school. what is taught in the polys and ITEs and finally unis are totally different subjects/modules. practical skills are taught and used..

but in the first place. is it fair to compare JC, poly and ITE students based soley on their 'O' Level results? definitely not. like what one writer said in the newpaper. she scored 9 points and still chose to a JC. why's that? people like shuren, shank, michelle and a lot of other people could have gone to JC, and good ones too. why is it then did they choose the poly route? and like how another writer put it, whichever route is chosen, it all leads to one end. that end is that of a good education (we all hope) and job opportunities in singapore or overseas. so what's there to argue about? the quality of education? the quality of the students? perhaps. finally in the end it's all up to the individual that we have to look at, not the school or the type of education chosen..

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laptop kinda died last week. so am a bit disappointed with myself for not backing up the prom night photos that i took. am still shooting and stabbing myself because of it. someone please send me the photos that Lionel took! (hint: ivan.. thank you)

tuesday morning enlistment! 8th June 2006, 0900hrs at Pasir Ris. well. i'll be missing my sister's birthday. and i'm definitely going back to my graduation ceremony with little hair but hopefully not in long 4s. haha.. seems like i'll have company in tekong. kenneth yunchi milton and ivan are all in the same batch. so we'll see...


had a friendly just now with MSF. played against a combined NTU/NIE/SGS team. played with tero juha and arizal. fun. scored 3 and had 5 assists. man. the 2nd highest i've got so far in 2 and a half years..

looking forward to sweden in may. one week before i enlist. haha. sufyan call's it national slavery. what the hell.. =P