Phobia?

No no no not Entomophobia (fear of insects/COCKROACHES). It's about going on a date with your girlfriend, then something unfortunate happened to her, and you will have to bear the responsibility for the rest of your life. =O

Imagine this...
It was a lovely evening and you just had dinner with your girlfriend. After having that scrumptous meal from TGIF, Flat iron steak.


A tender and juicy 8-oz. flat iron steak, grilled to perfection and served with Friday's signature mashed potatoes. Aged and hand-cut especially from Friday's.

Anyway back to the point. You take your girlfriend to spend some "quality" time together. So you take her to a secluded place to spend your "quality" time, knowing that no one can interrupt or disturb you both from spending your "quality" time.

Suddenly! A group of indian men (not that i'm racist lar, but you know...) appeared out of no where! and JOINED THE PARTY!

They tied you up with JUT and gang-raped your girlfriend in front of you. And they left her there in front of you after they were done. =O

What would you do after that? Boys what would you do? And girls, what can you do at that moment?

4 years!

Yesss, not 1 not 2 not 3 but 4 years together! April Ng Wern Eik. 1461 days? And it feels like i've only known her yesterday. Dalam sekelip mata...

Did you know...
On the 22nd September 2002, at 2 am, a cute and young boy "proposed" to a girl on his birthday. She then tried to play hard-to-get and only accepted his proposal 3 days later.

So,

HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY!!!




Eternity will never be enough for me and eternally will live our infallible love.

*Damn, i'm loyal. =)

Captain's 18th

21st September 2006, 2200 hours
I got abducted offguard in church. Betrayed by my 2 church friends, Henry and Jeff (Judas). Credit to all of you lah, i really didn't expect it to happened. So they got me in the end. I pretend to struggle abit lah before they tied me up with JUT. You can wax me, you can pinch my tits, you can draw on me


you can freeze my butt with ice, you can play with maggots but why lah must use JUT (and of course cockroaches i thought). I think even Jesus wasn't even tied with JUT, handcuffs also better lah SO #)*(#)(*!)(# PAIN!
*Click for further details

I just want to thank you all AGAIN making this birthday my most memorable one. I wish i could thank you 1 by 1, but my eye-lids are giving way. Those that bought me presents, gays that planned my "bar mitzvah", those that remembered my birthday and even those that bought me drinks. You know who you are.

*Edited
Really meant so much that friends out there actually make the effort to remember my birthday. Even some of them weren't close friends. Just makes me feel guilty and i am really sorry if i have missed out any birthdays. Birthdays aren't just about the birthday boy or birthday girl. It's about who did you celebrate your birthday with.

Mommy i promise to remember all or at least MOST of my friend's birthdays. =)
So everybody considered my friend please leave your birthdate in the comment box. Captain Ben will try his very best to honour your birthday.


Anyone?

Drama drama drama!

Yes yes yes, another accident. Someone tell me why?! WHY?! I think i get the most drama on the road, for an 18 year old. My 3rd accident in less than a year?

So i was driving along the LDP, Kelana Jaya to Sunway (you should know by this time i was already quite pissed because i was being naive thinking there isn't any jam in the LDP) Cars bumper to bumper. Then suddenly, Savvy WNL 6920 was bumper to bumper too near. A loud "SHIT" came out from my mouth before pulling over at the road side.

Kinda "settled" it by saying i would pay her when the bill comes. But she was all paranoid, and insisted that she took down my details. "IC or license please?" Sound just like a policeman. Her bumper was a little dented, and the area above the bumper cracked. She then gave me her card, and i drove off unsatisfied. (because it wasn't entirely my fault la, braking for no reason)



I then met up with her at the mechanic... And wow, she got a guy/bodyguard/driver/whatever which has nothing to do with the accident with her.
ben : How much is it?
Girl : The guy said it would be 400-500 to take take out the bumper, knock here knock there bla bla bla..
ben : Okay. I'm just going to give this straight to you. I can't afford 400.
Girl : How much can you pay?
ben : 200 only if not have to make report.
Girl : looks at wierd guyfriend Okay lah, make report.

I told my parents everything. haha My dad told me no need to go make police report. So the situation was very much "chilling la", it's all "cool".

When i having my econs class... Handphone rang
ben : Hellooooo?
XX : Ini Benjamin Teh kah?
ben : Ya.
XX : Ini Sarjan Bakar dari Balai PJ State. Lu belum buat report ker? Amoi itu dah buat report tadi. Nanti lu tak buat report saya akan compound you punya kereta.
ben : =O ! OK OK! Saya datang buat report.
XX : Saya trust kamu ya
ben : ya ya!

Went straight to the balai after class. I thought to myself, shit up woman really go make report, couldn't she just take the 200? Small matter have to go disturb my goodfriends. The Sarjan was very nice trying to help me out in any possible way. I was sitting there wondering whether these were hints
"Lu datang balik bayar saman di tinhkat 1 atas, around RM 300. You jumpa saya, saya cuba dapat murah." hmmm Then after that he said...
"Saya tak mau minta sen pun, saya bantu dengan ikhlas." hmm



Shook hands and thank my new buddy then went home with a saman. I'd rather pay the government then to pay that stupid girl. blah



The other day i dreamed i broke out from prison just like the show Prison Break.

HAHA!

Got this from Joe Jim's blog!

My friend...

My CUTE friend...



Guess who?

Journey to the less fortunate

The trip to the Orang Asli village in Bera has truly blessed me. I thank God that i chose to go for the trip instead of attenting my childhood friend's farewell party. This was the biggest group i have been with (30++) and mom said "doctors more than patients". But surprisingly, every single person was needed there! including me of course. We painted, we did waterworks, we installed a solar-panel, we became gardeners and we OWNED the kids there in sepak takraw. heehee.

I've been to a few Orang Asli trips, but nothing like the one i just went. That different yet joyful atmosphere, just makes all the "slogging" worth it. The unity and genuine hospitality is truly evident in Agape Chapel. Learned loads from the adults.

We go to church, yf every week. And camps every year, always receiving. Where's the giving?

6 Packs?

Complaining day and night about that 3 fold, Michelin tyre around that waist of yours? Always wishing that you never ate so much bak kut teh when you were young? Just hate it when your friends call you Pork Chop?!

Girls out there wished you had hard rock abs like


And the guys...


I present to you:
Top 3 most effective Ab excercise

Bicycle excercise
1. Lie face up on the floor and lace your fingers behind your head.
2. Bring the knees in towards the chest and lift the shoulder blades off the ground without pulling on the neck.
3. Straight the left leg out to about a 45-degree angle while simultaneously turning the upper body to the right, bringing the left elbow towards the right knee.
4. Switch sides, bringing the right elbow towards the left knee.
5. Continue alternating sides in a 'pedaling' motion for 12-16 reps.

Vertical leg crunch
1. Lie face up on the floor and extend the legs straight up with knees crossed.
2. Contract the abs to lift the shoulder blades off the floor, as though reaching your chest towards your feet.
3. Keep the legs in a fixed position and imagine bringing your belly button towards your spine at the top of the movement.
4. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.

Long arm crunch
1. Lie on a mat and extend the arms straight out behind the head with hands clasped, keeping the arms next to the ears.
2. Contract the abs and lift the shoulder blades off the floor.
3. Lower and repeat for 12-16 reps.

Let's all say bye bye to Michelin and Goodyear
Hello 6 packs!

My story, so far

Thought that people would only read this, when my best-seller biography would come out in 20 years time. But since henry (again) started this. Long post. Here we goooooo!

When i was born
Born on the 22nd of September (BEN! YOUR BIRTHDAY COMING!) 5.15am, in a manger. Weight 3.8kg (is that heavy or light?) Angels were rejoicing! HIP HIP HOORAY! HIP HIP HOORAY!. Ok fine, at least my family was =)



When i was 1
Can't really remember. According to my dad, i've tasted shit before hehe. Me, mommy and daddy rented a room in a house to live in.

When i was 2
I still don't remember. My aunts loved me, i loved them too, ever since.

When i was 3
How can someone so young remember anything?!

When i was 4
When to a nursery called Eden and there was a swimming pool! One day the back of my head "pao kong" (i think i was trying to dive)in the swimming pool and i did'n even know. Pool was filled with blood and i continued swimming. Teacher brought me to 3 clinics because i kicked all the doctors until they had to use 3 nurses to hold me down. It hurt alot lar.

When i was 5
This was one of the few years that i really liked my grandpap. He bought me toys and fetched me around because he still could.

When i was 6
I love my aunts.

When i was 7
Got my first bicycle, dad taught me how to ride it. Just when i thought i was too good, i had accident. I flew over my bike and sommer-saulted on the tar-ed road. Cried loudly, some guy carried me back to my house. And left a scar below my nose ever since. Thank God still handsome =)

When i was 8
My 2 favourite aunties brought me to the States, without my parents. Jealous? So were my cousins hehe

When i was 9, 9 only?!
I cirit-birit one day, shit in my pants, and threw away my underwear in the trash. heehee

When i was 10-11
<3ed CNY, Parents, Auntieeee.

When i was 12
Met first girl i liked. heehee Received first love letter

When i was 13
First real girlfriend, everything was "shy shy ler" for me.

When i was 14
Dated new girl (ever since).My favourite year, Henry would stay over my house. And we would talk about girls whole night. Schoolboys haha

When i was 15
Did so badly the previous year, i was dropped to errm, below average class? First time i got 1st in class. =D

When i was 16 Almost there!
Had goodfriends in school and goodfriends ever since.

When i was 17
Was a errm *ahem cheer *ahem erm lea erm der. Best team there ever was. Copa IBA runners up in football and definitely performed in dj prom 05.

Now that i am 18
I am a graduate from RBS. And i thank God for the blessings so far.

I am tagging everyone that has not got tagged on my sidebar together with Miss April Ng.

Funny day!

1. Just yesterday i had another encounter with the traffic police again. Was making a U-turn under a LDP fly over. I don't know what's wrong with me, but i still don't take that little effort to just pull that belt especially on a short journey drive.

As i made the turn, i saw 2 policemen in white giving another car a ticket. I quickly slowed my car down and scrambled for my seat-belt. Some of you may know, i have a very "wonderfully-Malaysian-made" seat-belt that does not cooperate sometimes. Gentle or hard, when it's stubborn it just won't listen. And true enough, it was stubbron this time. So there was i, holding my seat-belt "Ok lah, die die lah" vrooooooom... I just drove pass them as if i was invisible to them. WAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH Should have seen how i scrambled for my seat-belt, even i was laughing at myself.

2. And just today, i had business enterprise class. My schedule was just to go to college for 1 and a half hour time of class. Was really obliged on going, but something interesting happened that just made my day.

Class was quiet until the girl sitting in front of me let off a rather disturbing sound. "Plet plet... Plet Plett Plet" Could it.. Could it just be... a FART?! AHAHA She is fortunate i got no friends to laugh with only, so can only smile to myself. She thought no one heard her, haha but no no no girl, you got it all wrong. Benjamin Tay is too attentive and has a very sensitive nose.

She was probably wearing jeans that's why she could not "silence" her fart.


3 easy steps to a successful fart
1. Lift right butt cheek.
2. Release.
3. Act like nothing happen.

Success!

Opinions, opinions, opinions!

Contestant Number 1

Square Wire

Contestant Number 2

Spike

Contestant Number 3

A-Wire

Contestant Number 4

Hatchet

*Winner stands a chance to serve Benjamin Tay for a long time (hopefully). Protecting him from glaring sunny days, adding that extra macho-ness to him.

Highlights so far?

1.Spent my Merdeka's eve at Baskin Robbins (again) with Ray, eric, henry, charissa, aaron, alwin, jeff, wai yee, b.yue and markus. Independance Day has always reminded me to be appreciative of our country. Instead of being "LOUZY PROTON CARS! LOUZY CORRUPTED MINISTERS! LOUZY MALAYSIAN FOOTBALL!" we should come down to admit that there is GOOD in our country also and having freedom most countries don't.


Keranamu Malaysia...

2.Went to Malacca with my friends on the public holiday. And until now i don't know why did we leave at 3.30pm for a one day trip. Walked around Jonker Street. King's uncle spent us to dinner in a chinese restaurant. WE ARE ALL VERY GRATEFUL NIAN KING'S UNCLE/RELATIVE!

On the way home, finally felt how it was being responsible of 4 lives when it comes to driving. Did i mentioned all 5 of us could have died? They probably would not know, because they were having a RELAXING time sleeping while i was KEEPING MY EYES WIDE OPEN. And yes, Did i mention that the government needs to put street lamps on highways?! Almost crashed into one of those container carriers because a 3 LANE HIGHWAY ENDED UP BEING A ONE LANE HIGHWAY. Thank God and a little bit of my driving talent we made it home safely. =)

3. Happy Birthday Bryan Lim Han Li =)

4. Went swimming today instead of jogging. Can already feel my muscles starting to bulge HAHAHA. Shirt getting tighter HAHAHA. Ok fine, i sound stupid.

As i was swimming my torpedo free stlye, i found a 5 dollar note in the pool. "Whoah 5 bucks, YESSS FREE BREAKFASTT" Finding cash in the water, how cool is that? Just like treasure hunt.

After swimming, i found out that it was my own money that dropped out my pocket while i was swimming. -.-