start today tomorrow.

The summer rain is falling like its never going to stop, it's been ages.
Puddles form on city corners, businessmen they leap between the edges.
Umbrellas take up battle spots but nature's fury always proves much stronger.
I've been sitting in my room wondering if I'm going to last much longer.

I've been so damn sure that I've been here before.
I'll give back what I borrowed
and start today tomorrow.
I'll rise above my sorrow

wasteland

don't u think the world is fucked up? we never learn from our mistakes. we constantly let history repeat itself. there are so many incidents that i wish did not occur. there are so many issues which we do not even need to address if we were smart enough, compassionate enough, aware enough and a million other simple things we could be better at. but no... because humans have all these material needs and personal, selfish agendas that they need to look into first.
there's a movie 'sometimes in april'. if u liked 'hotel rwanda', u should watch this. a kenyan friend recommended it to me and strongly attests that it is a better depiction of the rwandan genocide. so i do not understand why we let these things happen and similar events to keep occurring. tell me what is going on in georgia. how did we let iraq happen? why the fuck is the gaza strip still going on? ok. i do know how and why wars occur. i learnt all the theories in class. but i still cannot truly comprehend human behaviour or rather inhumane behaviour. how did we evolve into these materialistic, corrupted creatures? how can we let money rule the world? why do we sell our souls for so cheap? sometimes i hate politics so much although i'm majoring in it. i get confused with so many stands.
see. these are the questions that truly bug me and circle around my head. i give 5% of a damn about what to wear or what to eat or who to be seen with. i don't care and i cannot be fucked. i take these "life issues" as they come and go. i decide what to wear when i have to change. i decide what to eat when i am hungry. these decisions are 'snap! snap! snap!' and should not take up more than 5% of my time.
if u expected an entry about the dramas in my life, i do apologize because i am extremely in the mood for social justice and social change today.

somewhere over the rainbow

i tried to unpack.
played ppp cd in hopes that it would make unpacking easier.
unfortunately two minutes later
i found myself on the ground
and i could not continue.

who ever knew unpacking could be so difficult?

it means nothing.

so i am officially back in adelaide. how very exciting and i say that with a tone of sarcasm. i knew way beforehand that i would feel this way. that is why i booked a flight to sydney a few months back, for two days after i arrive in adelaide from singapore/germany. so i could delay this horrible phase called re-entry culture shock; which i was well prepped up for a couple of months back. but i nvr thought it would be this depressing and upsetting. and it doesnt even help to know that ive got friends who are constantly moving and transiting.
now. this. feels like im going back instead of moving forward. but who would understand? the place has nothing or little to offer me anymore. sometimes i think alco/cigs/... could take all these away but apparently some comforts are just temporary. and gets me even more fucked up after anyway.
the thing is it has only been a week and im exhausted. physically, mentally, emotionally.
i know i gotta pull myself together somehow.
i have yet to unpack and it has already been a week.
maybe deep down i do not want to. maybe filled luggage makes me feel as if i am about to go.

i know it is just a phase but i have heard rumours that it is one of the worst times of ur life. so i'm scared. because rumours also have it that ppl run away for as long as they can. and i shouldn't because there's a graduation to make happen and there are responsibilities to shoulder. oh damn.


but it means everything.