the art of happiness

it isn't that hard apparently...

something to do.
something to love.
something to hope for.

rain city.

So where do we go from here?
How can we move on?

A: give it all up, baby.
I should have never walked down this path,
Or started this seemingly long journey.
Perhaps I only have myself to blame.
It took me awhile to fully realise the consequences and the impossibility of it all.
First who said all the happiness as long as conceivable crap?
The warning should have been you would have never missed what you have never known.
That’s how some people remain contented all their lives although they don’t even know what’s exactly out there.
Because, honey, let me tell you…
The whole world is the same.
Humans are essentially the same.
And that’s that.
Don’t go looking for more than you can handle.

somebody else's song

It just dawned upon me how self-absorbed I can be.
I accuse and get mad at certain things that people do
But I am equally guilty of doing similar things to other people.
It’s confusing and complicating.
Tonight, though, I realised…
Maybe I deserve all these bullshit
Because what goes around comes around, doesn’t it?
But as most people are, we are usually blind with our own flaws
And miraculously able to point out other’s in a flash.

If my parents named me to be compassionate and be kind to others,
I should act precisely that but too often, I forget.
If I could see each one’s pain and past sufferings,
Perhaps I wouldn’t be so unkind.
I don’t want to turn thirty on one day and still not learn.

Does the phrase cruel to be kind possible?
Is that what I’m subconsciously practising?
Or is it a slogan I use to comfort myself?




Alas, all good things must come to an end.

just watch the fireworks.

It’s raining now and I cannot decide if it is miserable or refreshing.
I’ve been saying how much I want to stay back in this quiet town.
There’s a song by josh rouse that essentially sings how I have been feeling.
Strangely enough, with thirteen days to go before I leave on a jet plane I think perhaps I am ready. Maybe both my heart and mind know that I have to say goodbyes anyway. They are all prepped up to be stone cold again. Maybe I am so used to leaving things behind, people unsettled, words unsaid, feelings disarrayed that it barely strums the strings anymore. I am not sure but today, I am confused. Parts of me badly want to be hurt and parts of me say fuck all of it and go, go, go.
I wish I could make things better for you but I don’t know how. And I wish you would talk to me but I know you cannot. I am sorry that things are not more perfect.
Life could have been much simpler if only I listened to people who cared. But I am indeed horribly stubborn.

p/s: I am just going to eat, stuff myself ridiculously full until my frustrations go away.



I know somewhere
There is a party going down
Interesting people
Conversation to be found
I've lived in cities
Where there is no solitude
I've made some friends here
That I hope I never lose
But, for now
I want to stay in this quiet town

The neighbors on my block
They've got stories to tell
This is the grocery
But, once was a hotel
And Mr. Driskle he just stands there
With his smile
Inviting everyone he sees
To come inside
This is the life
I want to live in a quiet town


Sometimes I miss the show
I learned a long time ago

Come Sunday morning
There's a market on the square
Children are playing
Bells are ringing in the air
Old men are drinking
It's a lazy afternoon
Content with thinking
That there is nothing to do
But, for now
I'm going to stay in this quiet town

there are certain people.

Who loves you so much
Who brightens up your day just with their presence
Who you feel comfortable even in silence
Who makes you feel worthy
And when they leave…
You never feel more empty and alone
Than you ever felt in a long long time.