maybe, just maybe.

see, i just got stuffed with chilli crab. my uncle bought 3 crabs back and i think i had 2 all by myself. ok maybe one and a half. all that was after i had my dinner! there goes my diet. the vegetarian diet mind you. which i obviously have not been able to keep up. not even for a day. i suppose all the working out i've been doing have gone down the drain as well.
ok some ppl are gonna say that i'm being utterly ridiculous to be going on a diet blah blah blah. and i've been pretty confused the past few months whether i need to lose weight anot. see, on the ship, i noticed i put on weight BUT everyone there thinks im skinny. so i continued eating in my oblivions. then i got back to sg and then i realised that i was FAT to the T. so i got all stressed and self-conscious. later when i got back to kl, ppl encouraged me to eat cus i'm not fat. so i ate and ate. but when i got back to sg again, i seriously think i should be starving for the next month or so. mofo. the scales dun lie.

and then, part of me gets pissed off for being so caught up in the weight and looks dept. cus honestly, what have i learnt onboard? not to be carried away in the materialistic and superficial culture. the moment i'm out of the safe zone, back into the outside world, i'm so influenced and affected by society. and that, boys and girls, annoy the hell out of me. why do i let myself fall into the trap? all those discussions we held so passionately onboard about life's bigger issues; poverty, inequality, religion, race, social justice etc etc. but i spent my days reading through silly girl mags and gossip. worrying about which dress to buy and which pair of shoes is prettier. i feel like i'm putting all the intellect i have to waste.

when i want to have some sort of intellectual conversations, not many ppl are interested. sometimes i do not even feel like starting one because the setting and the context of the situation is so unsuitable. and sometimes, ppl just have different interests. i know my recent posts have been about tss and tss' ppl. just rantings about memories and good times. but i feel i really need some sorta intellectual platform to voice my opinions again before i lose this spark. at least i need to listen to someone argue passionately about sth (whether they personally believe in the cause or not) just for the sake of broadening the discussion and viewpoints.

all around i see ppl living their days in routine like brainwashed zombies. going about their daily schedule. for awhile, i've not met someone who was passionate about a cause. and that makes me upset. how can ppl go about living their lives so monotonously? i do not comprehend. but maybe, people are just comfortable and happy going about worrying about money and how to earn as much as possible. i suppose that is not a sin. to be contented with chasing material goals. but it's not something i believe in and i hope against hope that i would not become like that one day. i have already felt societal and peer pressure and the constant reminder everywhere; the media, observations on the streets, that material wealth is of utmost importance. please give me a tight slap if u meet me 20 years down the road and i've become part of this mad rat race for materialism.

sexytime

outdated random pics from daniel's visit to kl...
ceylon area- 21
and
zouk- velvet

merry belated xmas

i just watched a few TSS video clips. and (omg!) the memories came rushing back! all those times onboard together. where we thought life could never get any better than that. i really miss all the people and the routine we have...lunch at 12 dinner at 6 a puff before and after meals bar at 10 predrinking before postdrinking running amok around the ship randomly barging into people's rooms sleepovers and movie nights staring at the stars wind blown full moon soaking in the jacuzzi tanning sauna-ing singing guiters.

and so...just a tiny update. i think i would definitely have to go to germany because i booked all my flights around europe last night. (: london-morocco-barcelona-paris-germany. all i need to do is get my flights from sg to london as soon as i get back to sg. yikes! i hope they have flights on 19/20 feb and they better be cheap...i hope!
morocco- 27 feb
barcelona- 6 mar
paris- 13 mar
germany- 19 mar
see...i even plan my trip according to where TSS ppl are and according to the port call's one week duration.
.......
and a happy 2008!