ok. my flight's confirmed. i'm arriving in sg on the 21st of nov at 630pm. ooh just in time for dinner. how nice! *hint*

anw, im so sick of applying for internships. its so incredibly hard to get and they get so many applications that they dun even bother to consider u. yeah what the fuck right. i just emailed undp in kl and i got a reply in 10mins saying...'we get alot of queries every year...it's hard to meet everyone's requests. thanks for ur interest.' like fucking vague.
well, whatever lar.

(:
today was a good day. like all inspring days...it made me think.
had a hist test yesterday
and a politics one today.
it was alright.
last night started off feeling extremely "home-sick" and full of questions and fear for the uncertain future.
i suppose at diff points in life we have lil pit stops where we ask where we're heading and what's our goal in life
and last night was one of those pit stops.
anw a good friend (just figured that out) decided to invite me out for ice-cream (supposedly) with a couple of other ppl.
well we ended up for a joyride to windy point, it's a hilltop looking over the city and it's gorgeous at night cus of the city lights and stars.
three cars winding up the hill...racing! hehe. it was fun
we had pies and cakes before heading home at 1am
and i felt better already.
today i met up with josh to help him with some test
and conversations with him are always thought-provoking.
seriously...he should write a book and start a cult haha.
we talked about happiness
finding satisfaction in life.
pursuing ultimate dreams.
talked about society
a lil on family.
university.
and the fear of not achieving our goals.
regrets and the wasting of our youths.
stuff like that...may sound depressing and pessismistic
but i think it's good to see other's perspectives on life
and sharing ur own as well.
maybe thats how we map our lives.

underneath it all

"you make a choice, and you don't look back"

what if i can't help looking back?
i hate the way this sounds.
what if.
always hated that phrase.
it's so pessimistic.
so bitter.
full of regret.
comtempt.

but this isn't the life i was looking for.
there has to be sth more.
always has to be more ain't it?

maybe it's the way one views the world.
this social system we live in.
everyone sees and watches and judges from different perspectives.
how we're brought up, what we've been through...
affects the way we perceive the world.

i can't decide whats good or bad anymore.
i just wanna crawl into a hole for awhile to think.
sounds like time for a dive trip again eh?

i went shopping on saturday!! had an itch/crave to shop my ass off. and i did!!! (: got some stuff for my friends. shopped more for myself. haha. got 2 belts. 2 pairs of havaiannas. a dress. a hot sexy bra. haha. (: yeah wtv. stress-relief...from all my bloody essays. rawwwwh.

so the UN in sg rejected me.. technically so because i can't go for the bloody interview on 28th october. duh of course i can't attend it right? i'm like an 8 hr flight away. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

so what am i gonna do for 3 whole months?

i went diving on saturday. omg! it was soooo cold. 15degrees water temp. eikks! my first diving in australia and we explored an old ship wreck. it was so cool and exciting. we could swim into the cabins and swam up the ladder..swam cus we didn't need to actually climb up the ladder. haha. it was really an interesting experience but it would have definitely been better IF the waters were warmer. i'll dive with them again b4 i leave for summer break (:

talking about summer break, i wrote to the UN(singapore) for internship during dec-feb. i really hope i get it cus i'll be completely bored when everyone's at uni etc. plus, i can only stay in sg for 2 weeks with the visitor pass. i've to travel out of sg every 2 weeks to renew the pass so it's rather tiresome. oh well...if i dun get it, i could try applying at mercy relief, world bank etc. i just wish they would reply me quick so i can apply at other places if i get rejected!!! but i dun wanna get rejected lar. so sad...

i absolutely love attending live gigs and concerts. recap:
1. m2m (ages ago when i was still young and a teeny-bopper)
2. incubus (kl)
3. black eyed peas (sg) with lisa
4. coldplay (: with lisa, minghui, ian toh! and jeremy was there as well.
5. u2!!! (up and coming on nov 16th)

wheeeeee. can't wait for post exams period (:

p/s: yay. i got distinction for history minor too. 78%

i used to think i could live without
like i mean i should be used to that
but now i realised how impt family can be
how im missing the fact that blood is thicker than water
how u can always conveniently fall back on after u done ur thing of wandering off alone
how they are like ur little landmarks in life

all these talk about being so god damn independant
i guess after awhile u realise that being dependant is not such a bad thing
i like to be dependant
i like the fact that someone can knock sense into my head
i like to know that i can rely on someone
don't we all?

anw i think my tagboard ain't working.
i haven't been able to view it lately.

run.

down south

it's only 6 weeks away before i'm back.
seems pretty fast but sounds too long as well.
i miss so many things.
familiar faces and surroundings.
my darls.
the SUN.
i applied for some internship at UNAS.
and i really hope i get it.
if not, wth am i gonna do for 3 whole months
while the whole world is at work/school
so please please approve my application.

this is for you.
conversations have been better recently.
and i miss u so.

Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance?
Or only one way that it was always meant to be
You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say
I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away
So go on love
Leave while there's still hope for escape
Got to take what you can these days
There's so much ahead
So much regret
I know what you want to say
I know it but can't help feeling differently
I loved you, and I should have said it
But tell me just what has it ever meant
You kill me, you build me up, but just to watch me break

jimmy eat world - kill

maybe after every tear u'll grow stronger
maybe after a night of thinking u'll be wiser
maybe after every regret u'll be more mature
but
maybe after everything, u'll still just be u
unchanged.

liar liar pants on fire.

it's always up and down. up and down ain't it?
it'll nvr be perfect.

so i know i'm not the one.
there isn't all the bgr feeling whatever the fuck that means.

go on...break my heart.

Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning
An interesting detachment
A listless poem of love sincere
Desire, despair
Overlapping melodies

all i wanted was truths, not lies.

5 more weeks

classes have been good so far. i really like it in uni. it's a good thing (: although adelaide isn't all that big and the uni isn't all that big either but i kinda grew to like the closeness of everything. i really love the "old" feeling of the buildings. looks really gorgeous from the outside yet inside it's not run-down or anything. i also recently realised that uni has no fucking facilities on campus and i nvr even noticed until now...there's no tennis courts or swimming pool or basketball courts etc. there's a lake behind though. and the funny thing is, i was like..so what? i guess cus i won't even use those facilities even if they were present. but amazing huh? no facilities.....weird....

oh oh oh. i'm so happy i got 82% for my politics minor essay. haha. i really put in effort for that. the same thing can't be said for my history minor essay though...which i handed in 2 days ago. it was utter crap. i read it with disappointment.....i knew it was crap but i was too sick of it to rewrite it. plus i was really sick as well...the bloody cold. oh well, i shall work harder for the major essay. speaking of which, it's due in a month's time. damn. and politics major is due in 3 weeks! ahh research time! essay time!! but luckily essays means i dun have final exams for those subjects. i only have 2 final exams...logic on 14th nov and econs on 15th nov. and after that, U2's concert on the 16th!!! wheee. and then im free to go home or work or wtv. pretty excited.....5 more weeks or so only. too bad, most ppl still have classes etc. rawwwh!