concrete girl

i dunno how to describe what i'm feeling.
i am enjoying myself to a certain extent but there's something missing and i can't put my finger on it. it's the feeling of uneasiness and uncomfiness. get it?
like recently i feel so distant from my surroundings YET i am not distant from it. i just can't find the missing puzzle in this jigsaw.

i had an awesome day today with kerrie (: and for awhile i forgot about the nagging feeling. we had a nice walk along torrens river. it was a sunny day so it wasn't cold. perfect for walks and conversations. reminds me of the uk really. i took alot of pics and we did this paddle boat thingy in the river. so fun!! haha. and we had gloria jean's after. omg the flavours they have here are amazing. i tried hot mudslide mocha..yummylicious! they have flavours lar macademia and arnott's tim tam!!!! wth..i'm gonna try everything! then we walked to central market and i got myself a delicious mars muffin. mmmmm...

maybe i'm just afraid that happiness doesnt last long. but maybe thats the reason why we should live by the day.
maybe i just wanna find my lil niche here and have what i used to have. the warmth and dependency. but maybe thats what independence and growing up is all about.

something hasbe said: u gotta have a time in ur life where u gotta be alone (not isolated but alone; like with the whole world around u yet u r detached somehow) to find ur true self. and i dun wanna end up like the other adults still trying to figure themselves out.

if only

oh my. i just watched a beautifully wonderful movie. haha does that phrase even exist? anw, it's called 'if only'. everyone should go watch it. it's so so so touching. arggh! i wanna have a perfect day like that too *hint* except for the ending. oops. hope i didnt give the storyline away.

hmm there's royal adelaide show starting this friday for one week. it's like a funfair/carnival sorta thing with all the games stall and amusement rides. got ferris wheel (: and all the dog shows and pig-racing(!) as well. hahaaa it'll be funny to watch. wheeee. oh and the dent ball as well....got the tics already so NO backing out. anw, there's free flow of drinks (: oh my. tsk tsk.

thinks*

one.
u know how ppl are supposed to learn from their mistakes. yet ppl say hisory repeats itself. sometimes in life, we go through similiar experiences repeating the same bloody mistakes. why? because inside us..deep in our hearts, we hope...it may be a small glinter of hope, that things may turn out different. somehow, it usually has a similiar ending as all ur other past experiences. see, the thin line between hope and stupidity. however, hope is what keeps humans going. it is essentially what drives us through the day, the week, the month, the year. without hope, would we have the strength to live?

two.
have u ever wondered...that there may be some ppl out there (in the other side of the world?) having the exact same moments as u are having now? the exact few lines of ur conversation with a friend in a bar's outdoor backyard. isn't it disturbing and inspiring at the same time? it's so sad that these ppl may be similiar to u in so many ways yet u'll probably nvr ever speak to them or meet them in ur life?

superficiality

the wheels just keep on turning
the drummers begin to drum

it feels like the drone of the everyday background noise is the thing that works my body, that keeps the heart beating and the mind thinking. like everything is functioning cus the rest of the world is. routine. like clockwork. and what if one day i can shut out all these noises? the deafening silence. the calm. the serenity. and best of all, the freedom; of mind, of body, of soul. maybe then, this myopia would be cured. maybe then, i'll see the world through a kaleidoscope.

but...everyone knows this is called delusion.
there's no perfect world baby.
don't kid urself no longer.

ponning days AGAIN.

well. i havent really blogged much eh? just posting pics and stuff. hmm.. i skipped classes today. refused to go to uni. anw its only one 50min philosophy lect. i can handle it. im gonna declare my mons and thurs off. hmmph. so lazy to go lar. boohoohoo. i've got hist test and pol presentation tmr. *pouts*

anyway, i've been been shopping so darn much. i spent a 100 on my clinique stuff. the weather here is so dry and it makes my skin so dry, i had to get a new moisturizer. i bought a really gorgeous pair of heels as well. hehe. it was only 50! it was originally 189 though. good buy eh? i can use it for salsa cus it has got the strappy thing behind. and yes! i'm learning salsa and it's extremely FUN. (: spent alot on food too. food is so darn ex..i'm gonna eat at home more often. baah.

other than that, life's been so-so. go out. clubbing. shopping. the usual. so bland eh? almost like routine. I WANNA GO SCUBA DIVING!
oh yeah, jo's parents are here to visit her for 2 weeks!!!!! why no one come to visit me?

RAWH. hehe.

last tues pigging out session

chocolate everywhere. choc cake. choc mousee. choc shot. white choc shot.

ermm..i think it was white choc mocha.

hehe my room door.

haha gorgeous!! my farewell present

it's halfway done. planned to print more pics n stick them up.

my window view. not much.

2 beds. maybe jo tot i was fat.

pretty lights (:

smells, like music, hold memories.

let's dance in style
let's dance for a while
heaven can wait we're only watching the sky
hoping for the best but expecting the worst
are you gonna drop the bomb or not
let us die young or let us live forever
dont have the power but we never say never
sitting in the sandpit
life is a short trip
music's for the sad man
can you imagine when this race is run
turn our golden faces into the sun
praisin our leaders, getting in tune
the music's played by the mad men
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever
some like water and some are like the heat,
some are melodies, some are the beat,
sooner or later they'll all be gone,
why don't they stay out
it's hard to get on without a cause,
i don't want to perish like a fading voice,
youth is like diamonds in the sun,
diamonds are forever
so many adventures couldn't happen today
so many songs we forgot to play
so many dreams swinging out of the blue
left to come true
forever young, i want to be forever young,
do you really want to live forever
forever, forever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever
forever, forever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever
forever young, i want to be forever young
do you really want to live forever,
forever, forever...

taste still lingers on..

maybe next time.
maybe next year.
maybe next lifetime.

it's called woman's intuition.
the wreckage.

To bear the weight and push into the sky its easier to lie its easier to lie
And honestly to look you in the eye its easier to lie its easier to lie
To be the one to be the only one something has to give a lot something has to give a lot
And who am i to give you what you need when i'm learning just learning
Learning how to live and bear the weight...
To fill the space the space you made for me try to be the one you want try to be the one you want
And maybe i could be the one you need if you'd only show me
Show me how to live and how to bear the weight
And push into the sky its easier to lie easier to lie
And do whats right when everything is wrong its easier to run its easier to
Never have to look you in the eye its easier to lie its easier to lie
To bear the weight and push into the sky its easier to lie

to charr:

1. u have the reddest face ever!
2. make out with a random guy. hehe
3. pink lar!! bimbo wat.
4. u make me laugh..AT u!! "stupid!! are u dumb or what?"
5. u saying.."nice right? on sale u noe"
6. ugly duckling?
7. ARE U DUMB OR WHAT?

charr made me post this.

Something something....if you comment on this post,

1. i'll respond with something random about you.
2. i'll challenge you to try something.
3. i'll pick a colour that i associate with you.
4. i'll tell you something i like about you.
5. i'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
6. i'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. i'll ask you something i've always wanted to ask you.
8. you must post this on yours.

the past week

last friday, before heading out to the pub crawl......

at the balcony of one of the university's dorms

i'm not as short as i look ere ok?

we baked quische last wed (:

bumming around. brittney there.

oooh we baked brownies too!!! yummy.

hard at work in the kitchen. hehe.

new schedule

i forgot to put up my new class schedules here. ive got thurs off!! woots!!

mon
10-11: beginning logic lecture

tues
11-12: 20th century lecture
1-2: intl politics tutorial
2-3: 29th century tutorial

wed
10-11: beginning logic lecture
11-12: beginning logic tutorial
12-1: microeconomics lecture
2-3: intl politics lecture

fri
10-11: microeconomics tutorial
11-12: 20th century lecture
12-1: microeconomics lecture
2-3: intl politics lecture

as u can see, mon is a total waste of time. hehe. gosshh. i should skip monday's class. what do u think?

and so it is

AND SO IT IS
LIKE U SAID IT WOULD BE



thats from some random song that just pop into my head.

im just feeling really bad right now.
i guess its the waiting
and hoping
anticipating for sth so much
even though its practically hopeless
i just wish
u know
well,
.............................
there's nth left to say really.

pix (;

adelaide pics

me n jo went for bic runga's concert last sun night. she has 3 diff guitars.......

2nd one

third one!!!! btw, she's really good (:

the empty stage b4 she arrived. oh we waited damn long for her man

in the car b4 the concert. see how cold it is? we're so bundled up

the "party" last sat at our place. as u can tell, too much drinks n weed. haha

omg!! this is COOL. a real car plate. we were behind it. i tried like 6 shots to get  a good one. (:

police are on horses!!! so amazing rite? i was like...OMG!! and my frens tot i was like so dumb or sth. but they get to shit anywhere on the road. eew!!!!!

dessert!! looks yummy rite?

our entree. damn nice u noe. fucking ex as well.....

at the hilltop. it's this place somewhere on top of a hill obviously. and it overlooks the whole city/town

the pic really doesnt do it justice. a good place to emo actually. haha

at home......cam whoring

the flash damn bright lar......