last day

my last day of work today. cant wait. to sleep in late. and not stare at this com screen for hours and hours. *groans* my poor eyes. anw i got a feeling i'll be bored after awhile cus i'll be free every single fuckign day. oh oh but my cousin will be back from newyork tmr..his flight got delayed or sth. well...maybe he'll entertain me when he's back. i hope he doesnt have internships or stuff like that. ok i'm ranting. bleargh.

my itinerary for june & july:
15june-19june = bangkok!!!!
28june-9july = KL (:
10july = coldplay (omfg)

and thats it. thats not very filled up is it? ok ok maybe i should work at starbucks in siglap. *grins* so fun!

at wala wala...i'll bite u!!!!! p/s: check out lisa's cleavage. haha.

at coffee bean..ser me liz

at timbre!! ngak was playing that night. liz, did u drool?

xdepressionx

stuff just keeps on coming dun they?
drama drama drama
maybe its over-reactions
cus if im not mistaken
matters seem minor
blown outta proportion perhaps
but if thats how u view it
thats how u see it
ill be there for u still
no worries
love love love
2




anyhow yesterday was alright. my day did get better meeting with hanting although he was so late and i got harassed by the "media". haha. and well, i got to eat my bak chor mee finally with loads of vinegar. we watched this really dumb movie..dun ask me abt it..sheesh..rolls eyes. and i felt sorry for making him pay for that lousy show ): i'll treat u to thank you for smoking ok? haha (: probs seem to fleet away for that few hours. thanx for being a great company always. listening to my shit. and attempting to make me feel better with some of ur shit but..well.. thanx anw haha. lalalala.

ooh my cousin is coming home from newyork tmr. everybody at home is uber excited. (:

p.m.s.

the day is getting a little too long ain't it?



i honestly hate the whining.
especially today.
it's so fucking getting on my nerves
i know i can just blow u off.




maybe it's pms.




*shrugs*





i hope meeting hanting later
will make this day better.





oh yeah, and my free pack of ciggs from vincent
thanx (:

but someone spoiled my lighter.
oh fuck.
gotta buy a new one.

barenaked

omg. bangkok!!! ser finally confirmed. we can start booking tics (: not going out for lunch later since charr is starving herself and saving up money for carol's bday pressie. ohk kidding bout the starving part, she brought bread from home. i mean, charr starving herself? nahhh..she grins when she smell food from the pantry lar. so since my lunch break will be in the office i shall start bombarding the tour agencies with bangkok questions and decide on which hotel and agency to book from. so hopefully can comfirm everything by today and get one of the sticks parents to book with their credit card (:

lala AND AND i just bought coldplay tics yesterday at sistic!!! omg omg omg. it's COLDPLAY. $170 freaking bucks. yeahh standing tics..thats where it's fun and alive. haha. oh and luckily i wanted standing tics cus the rest were all SOLD OUT. yupz. sold out by the 3rd day of sales according to the sistic lady. gosh. so to all those out there still contemplating, too late! no more...except for standing tics (which are most ex) so hury get them. they're selling out FAST too. rawh..i feltthe pain when i gave my card to pay $510 (bought 3 tics). thats like one n a half week's worth of work. rawh.

oh btw, i'm quitting work at oracle next week. yeahh...end of the month. 31st may. time to slack, relax and play. there's bangkok, kl, coldplay and diving to look forward to (: i'm soooo excited. nic n liz not working in june as well. haha can imagine alot of silly sleepovers, clubbing, conversations at coffee bean/starbucks/coffee club. wheeeee! ser, dun work also lar. haha.

ps:
last night
strip
brazilian
nic
me
nice!
*giggles

You cut me down a tree
And brought it back to me
And that's what made me see
Where I was going wrong
You put me on a shelf
And kept me for yourself
I can only blame myself
You can only blame me

And I could write a song
A hundred miles long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

And I could write it down
Or spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
Or swallowed in the sea

You put me on a line
And hung me out to dry
And darling that's when I
Decided to go to see you

You cut me down to size
And opened up my eyes
Made me realize
What I could not see

And I could write a book
The one they'll say that shook
The world, and then it took
It took it back from me

And I could write it down
Or spread it all around
Get lost and then get found
And you'll come back to me
Not swallowed in the sea

The streets you're walking on
A thousand houses long
Well, that's where I belong
And you belong with me

Oh what good is it to live
With nothing left to give
Forget but not forgive
Not loving all you see

-coldplay, swallowed in the sea

listen

i dun wanna kick up a fuss
create problems
turn things ugly.
but sometimes,
after so many times of brushing issues aside,
i think i'm allowed space to flare my temper.
all i wanted was u to listen
to BE there
is it that difficult?
i always do that.
and i warned u that i had a bad day.
but u were late.
and u were still easily distracted.
i try making things easy for u.
i gave u early warnings.
but u nvr heeded them
so is it ur fault?
yes.



and it's sad.
really.

iwillnotbedemandingandinsecure

i'm caught in random thoughts
and random feelings








iwillnotbedemandingandinsecure
i repeat,
iwillnotbedemandingandinsecure

fyi

i'll be going to msia for the next few days.
visit my grandma
the only one ancestor left still alive.
only one more unconditional love left.
weird how that all came out
but makes slight sense, doesn't it?



rawh.
i'm rambling
i think.





will be back on sunday.
laters.

ngak = ng ah kau

timbre last night was good (: for me at least. ngak played. so that explains. haha jk jk. great company as well lar. *swoons and drools*









thats all i wanna say
besides that it was sorta a relief
to let it all go?
and come clean?
i dunno.
thanks for being kind
understanding
wonderful
sweet
i love yah

loves.

looking silly.

sephia mode

gorgeous!!!! muackx

at walas. jon the genius and the gorgeous us.

besties! (:

loves.

tioman AGAIN!

more of tioman diving!

this IS the snorkel-beer drinking game (: rocks man.

me and steph!

*wrinkly nose

my roomies. anne alex

hot or wat?

i'm damn tan

vincent, boatman, me

wind-blown on the boat

gorgeous!!

rigging up!!!!

16 shots of ultimate fun!!

youandme

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

i know what's wrong

i know whats missing. really.

do i wanna correct it?


it scares me cus of the trust issue
i dun trust
and it's bad
cus it's my bad
rawh.



and it's sweet
and it's touching
how u worry and freak out
and called.













i'm no good.

@ mos

dinesh (can u see him? haha), me, per, yilin

all the gals in the gals in the house..say yeah!

me, charr, yilin

dinesh, yilin, weiloong, me

group pic!!

me and dawn

me, per, yilin, yujun

me and yilin

me (wats wrong with my fringe?), yilin, per, charr

me and the bday gal! woots!

honesty

carnations remind me of my mom.

did i tell u?
i hate mother's day.
and father's day as well















i've not been honest with u.
i'm hiding the truth.
i'm keeping things away from u.
i'm lying.


and i hate it.
it makes things seem unreal and superficial.
when did lying start becoming so difficult?

love-love

i think i'm falling deeper and harder than i ever thought i would


damn.




Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
- Imogen Heap





so much for being independent and strong huh?
wf is right.
me, cy and her.
we're emotionally dependent now.
it's scary.
our wall
our support
it's not good really.
we can just fall and crumble
in a snap!




i've been listening to live bands more recently (: i like it. the whole chill out atmosphere and good music. good conversations. a few light drinks. awesome. better than clubbing *grins* maybe i'm getting old. hahaa. watched the unxpected at wala wala. and eic at timbre. i like timbre except for the mozzies. hahaa...yesterday was a very good day (: and night. wheeee.

 

i feel like this sometimes.

 

maybe thats what i'm so afraid of.
i rather be the one who's leaving.
i dun want to be the one left behind.

 

gin blossoms

occasionally when i'm just lost and confused and frustrated, i'll log onto friendster and watch the video wf made for us. it makes me smile. it makes me happy. i'm grateful for great frens. i feel wanted and loved.


so what if i'm just around for your attention?
do i really like you?
all the commitments and obligations
i'm already pretty tired out after 3 days.
it's my problem i guess.
i was nvr able to get used to this whole exclusive thing
rawh.
somehow i doubt u too
how well do u know me?
do u even know me?
and there we go again.
i miss u.
words.
do i even mean them?
maybe it's just a physical thing after all.
with a title.

i still adore diving.

the weekend was (:

yeah wat a blast. everyone agreed it was a good weekend. made many new frens as usual...diving just rocks lar. in a way, we talk about superficial stuff cus we're just getting to know each other. talk alot of cock too. especially with ciggs n beer. hehe. but i like it that way, u can choose to open up or talk on the surface level and it'll just be over that weekend. you know, no strings attached. no obligations to keep in touch but we still do. haha yeahh..msn and emails and sms yesterday from my new dive frens. haha royston (this instructor from another dive company) insist on calling me compassion the whole trip. rawh!!!! roomed with two german interns with siemens. interesting..they tried teaching me german. but i forgot everything by now. hahaa. we played this crazy drinking game called beer snorkel. basically, we made 3 guys don their mask and snorkel and we poured beer down the snorkel. they can't breathe and have to keep gulping the beer down. almost choked and they all gave up. then we tried without the mask but still it was difficult to finish a can of beer cus it flowed too fast. hehe but it was hilarious. will put up the pics soon. ooh and actually, once they can't swallow the beer fast enough, the beer was supposed to flow out from their nose (eew!) and fill the mask. haha!! but i didn't get to see that lar. rawh! one afternoon, we went to play at a waterfall. hahaa the water was freezing cold!!!! roars!! and they kept splashing the cold water on me when i refuse to get in. kekeke..eventually, i did and we climbed to the top of it. i was freaking scared i'd slip and fall cus it was freaking slippery and i was grabbing on to every rock that jutted out. luckily, the guys helped me lar..they pulled me up. a guy slipped and slid down a quarter of the way down. OUCH! we were damn scared he slid all the way down..can u imagine? so darn dangerous lar..but it was fun! my first waterfall climb (:
oh oh and i did hurt myself on the trip. first the terrible sunburnt on my back. then there was one dive where i got stung by fragments of jellyfish (supposedly the turtles didn't finish eating the jellyfishes and left fragments of them drifting in the water..fucking painful and itchy). and of course my fall. after the 2nd night dive, i was on the boat going down some steps and it was slippery then the boat jerked, and i fell. hit my tailbone. and it is fucking painful. when i cough. when i sit. when i walk down steps. when i shit. yeahh. sucks rite? even til today, it's still painful but it's getting better lar. yikes. ouch ouch ouch. ooh and we had roti bom, ice kacang, tom yam maggi, ramly burger etc during the trip. dive, eat, sleep. wat more can i ask for?

so the past weekend was a happy one.
still counting the days.

oh and i met liz for dinner yest at ichiban boshi. it was ok. expensive i guess. BUT i just checked. and my pay is in. WOOTS! jon is supposed to come down tonight. hehe. and i'm heading to zouk. hopefully, i get up for work tmr. damn!!! i think i'm nvr gonna get better from my cough/sore throat.

tioman!!

diving times in tioman. a few of the pics taken over the weekend. took so damn many (:

hello turtle. are u lost?

i dunno wat this is. but it's cute.

me and anne (the german gal i roomed with)

angel fish?

nemo!!! haha clown fishes lar..

got burnt! haha see the ribbon? the previous day's bikini. amusing huh?

group pic!!!

anne, seng, me, alex