Friday, March 31
fuck. broke.
u know wat?? i'm still BROKE. i went to check my acc after work. guess wat? there's no money banked in yet! so now my acc reads $22.11!!!!! wtf? damn sad rite? sobx. i'm going to bq later to demand my pay from mark n claim back my taxi fares. haihz.hopefully the cheque is out already. wat am i gonna do?? maybe i should sing along orchard rd..like busking? yeahh..or maybe su san would like to produce my recording soon..show off my singing skills and perhaps hit the top 10 chart (: hahaaa..see how desperate i am?
charr is chatting on the phone at work again. hmmph. tsk tsk. bad example.
anw, i hope i can stay over nic's place tonight..helps me forget when i have company...
lisa is not replying my msgs. hrmmph.
i'm gonna sign up for driving. yeahh ceramah is next sat..but if cy comes down then, i'll postpone it to the following sat..but it's tiesto on fri so i can't get up on sat, so i'll postpone to the following week. will i get my license in time? how long does it take anw?
charr is chatting on the phone at work again. hmmph. tsk tsk. bad example.
anw, i hope i can stay over nic's place tonight..helps me forget when i have company...
lisa is not replying my msgs. hrmmph.
i'm gonna sign up for driving. yeahh ceramah is next sat..but if cy comes down then, i'll postpone it to the following sat..but it's tiesto on fri so i can't get up on sat, so i'll postpone to the following week. will i get my license in time? how long does it take anw?
Thursday, March 30
i'm not broke no more
i tot i was fucking broke. until 30mins ago. yeah i technically have 57 left in my acc. then the boss told us to "organise" our oracle email and read up on more stuff on the website again today; ie. surf the net and be bored again. went for lunch, saw a pretty belt that i wanted..only $12 but i was broke and i must think about food for the next 5days. so i asserted some self-control. anw, ard 4 i decided to "organise" my oracle account. ta-daa! i had some ePayslip thingy. checked it. guess wat? i got my first pay. one week lar. $326.09! whee!! not broke anymore. (:
rwanda.
did u watch hotel rwanda?
i watched it with a few of my classmates and it was a touching yet disturbing movie.
at work now. decided to read up on it.
here's one of the articles.
Massacre at Nyarubuye church
By Fergal Keane BBC Panorama reporter
The killers came on a spring afternoon, as many as 7,000 men crowding down the narrow lane towards Nyarubuye church.
Nine days earlier the plane carrying Rwanda's Hutu President, Juvenal Habyirimana, had been shot down flying into the capital Kigali.
Within hours the slaughter of members of the Tutsi minority as well as moderate Hutus had begun.
Among the killers marching to the church were Gitera Rwamuhuzi and his friend Silas Ngendahimana.
The Tutsis, including Flora Mukampore, had fled to the church believing they would be safe.
The local Mayor, Sylvestre Gacumbitsi, gave orders to the police to shoot, and then the peasants moved in to kill - hacking, slashing and bludgeoning their neighbours to death. Between five and ten thousand Tutsis were killed.
When I reached the scene weeks later the rotting bodies lay twisted terribly, skulls smashed open, faces frozen in the last terrible expression of violent death. How could men do this, I asked myself.
It is a question that has haunted me for a decade. Ten years after the slaughter I met some of the killers. Most are in jail but will soon be released under the government's Gacaca programme after confessing their crimes and apologising.
Gitera Rwamuhuzi is the most confident of his group and the natural leader. He smiled and shook my hand warmly.
He is an intelligent, complex man - and a ruthless killer. Before the genocide he was a local criminal gang enforcer and is said to have killed as many as 100 people, with his gang responsible for 300 deaths.
He has confessed only to three murders. "Whoever is telling you that story is exaggerating to try to make my name look bad," he says.
Gitera describes lying on the ground at Nyarubuye while the soldiers opened fire. He saw a Tutsi man trying to escape from the church and ran over and struck him on the head, killing him.
He blames Satan, a common theme among the prisoners. Responsibility is passed out of their hands to some supernatural force. There are no guilty men, only victims of dark forces.
But he also believed he was going to be killed by the Tutsis. "We thought that if they had managed to kill the head of state how were we ordinary people going to survive?" he says.
Gitera describes killing his next door neighbours.
"They looked traumatised. They were people who had lost weight because they had not eaten for days. After killing the mother the toddler fell by her side," he says, crying.
Cyasa Habimana refuses to be photographed with the others, believing he is a man of greater substance. He also reads from his diaries, believing they justify him.
The Interahamwe militia group leader says he was a tool of more powerful men. He is cunning but with no imagination, an ex-army sergeant with a reputation as a hard man and a good organiser. He was persuaded to train the Interahamwe by an army colonel.
Cyasa does not blame the devil. He says the colonel gave him a new set of tyres for his truck and threatened to kill him if he did not comply.
He says he was not at Nyarubuye but was involved in attacks elsewhere in the area in which thousands of Tutsis died.
To the survivors, Cyasa was a monster, devoid of pity. He is now under sentence of death.
Silas Ngendahimana was tending his crops of sorghum when he heard that the president's plane had been shot down.
At Nyarubuye church Silas carried a large impiri, a club studded with nails which he used to beat a Tutsi woman to death.
"You have to understand mercy wasn't part of the deal. The government had given them up to us to be killed," he says.
He points to his prison issue pink shirt, saying: "There was a water tap that was running and mixing with the blood. The ground was pink like this shirt."
Evariste Maherane is a free man. After six years awaiting trial, he confessed and apologised at a Gacaca hearing. He sits at home near Nyarubuye with his wife, children and grandson.
He remembers killing a 10-year-old Tutsi boy who had escaped from the church.
Evariste held the wounded boy, dressed in his school issue khaki shorts and shirt, by the neck and battered him with a club. Then they dug a hole and pushed the child in, still alive.
Evariste had a 10-year-old son of his own at the time, and is haunted by the memory of the Tutsi child's arms and legs flailing in the smothering earth. "It was a time of hatred. Our heads were hot. We were animals", he says.
When we last met during the genocide, Flora had a serious head wound and I thought she had suffered brain damage. A decade later she is still suffering, but is lucid in her descriptions and has forgotten nothing.
She was at Nyarubuye church. The killers, including Gitera, hacked towards her with machetes, axes and hoes. I remember Gitera telling me: "It was as if we were competing over the killing."
Flora was knocked to the ground by bodies falling on top of her and the Interahamwe assumed she was dead. Later, one of the killers spotted her moving and smashed her head with a hammer.
But she survived among the rotting corpses for over a month before being found. "They helped me to sit up and I noticed the maggots falling off me," she recalls.
Flora lost 17 members of her family in the genocide and is furious that Gitera and others are being offered freedom.
"We have been patient, we have been strong - but a killer like that? I don't believe in the death penalty, but surely he should have been locked up for good," she says.
Another girl, who Panorama is not naming, was 20 at the time of massacre. She was hiding when Mayor Gacumbitsi drove past.
"He was a friend of my father", she says: "When I saw him I thought that no harm can come to me."
But Gacumbitsi was angry. He raped her and told the six policemen to do the same. "We are going to rape you to death," she remembers him saying.
She is only alive because a Hutu man, Gacumbitsi's deputy Matthew Fashingabo, and his wife gave her shelter and smuggled her out of the country.
Why had he acted with such bravery? "Because I know that we are all human beings," he says.
Marie was captured near Nyarubuye by Hutus who took her as a sex slave and raped her more than 100 times.
Marie contracted Aids from her rapists and afterwards discovered that she was pregnant. That baby died of Aids and Marie is now in the final stages of the disease.
She says: "I don't know why this happened to me. I was a good person. It wasn't my fault I was born a Tutsi."
i watched it with a few of my classmates and it was a touching yet disturbing movie.
at work now. decided to read up on it.
here's one of the articles.
Massacre at Nyarubuye church
By Fergal Keane BBC Panorama reporter
The killers came on a spring afternoon, as many as 7,000 men crowding down the narrow lane towards Nyarubuye church.
Nine days earlier the plane carrying Rwanda's Hutu President, Juvenal Habyirimana, had been shot down flying into the capital Kigali.
Within hours the slaughter of members of the Tutsi minority as well as moderate Hutus had begun.
Among the killers marching to the church were Gitera Rwamuhuzi and his friend Silas Ngendahimana.
The Tutsis, including Flora Mukampore, had fled to the church believing they would be safe.
The local Mayor, Sylvestre Gacumbitsi, gave orders to the police to shoot, and then the peasants moved in to kill - hacking, slashing and bludgeoning their neighbours to death. Between five and ten thousand Tutsis were killed.
When I reached the scene weeks later the rotting bodies lay twisted terribly, skulls smashed open, faces frozen in the last terrible expression of violent death. How could men do this, I asked myself.
It is a question that has haunted me for a decade. Ten years after the slaughter I met some of the killers. Most are in jail but will soon be released under the government's Gacaca programme after confessing their crimes and apologising.
Gitera Rwamuhuzi is the most confident of his group and the natural leader. He smiled and shook my hand warmly.
He is an intelligent, complex man - and a ruthless killer. Before the genocide he was a local criminal gang enforcer and is said to have killed as many as 100 people, with his gang responsible for 300 deaths.
He has confessed only to three murders. "Whoever is telling you that story is exaggerating to try to make my name look bad," he says.
Gitera describes lying on the ground at Nyarubuye while the soldiers opened fire. He saw a Tutsi man trying to escape from the church and ran over and struck him on the head, killing him.
He blames Satan, a common theme among the prisoners. Responsibility is passed out of their hands to some supernatural force. There are no guilty men, only victims of dark forces.
But he also believed he was going to be killed by the Tutsis. "We thought that if they had managed to kill the head of state how were we ordinary people going to survive?" he says.
Gitera describes killing his next door neighbours.
"They looked traumatised. They were people who had lost weight because they had not eaten for days. After killing the mother the toddler fell by her side," he says, crying.
Cyasa Habimana refuses to be photographed with the others, believing he is a man of greater substance. He also reads from his diaries, believing they justify him.
The Interahamwe militia group leader says he was a tool of more powerful men. He is cunning but with no imagination, an ex-army sergeant with a reputation as a hard man and a good organiser. He was persuaded to train the Interahamwe by an army colonel.
Cyasa does not blame the devil. He says the colonel gave him a new set of tyres for his truck and threatened to kill him if he did not comply.
He says he was not at Nyarubuye but was involved in attacks elsewhere in the area in which thousands of Tutsis died.
To the survivors, Cyasa was a monster, devoid of pity. He is now under sentence of death.
Silas Ngendahimana was tending his crops of sorghum when he heard that the president's plane had been shot down.
At Nyarubuye church Silas carried a large impiri, a club studded with nails which he used to beat a Tutsi woman to death.
"You have to understand mercy wasn't part of the deal. The government had given them up to us to be killed," he says.
He points to his prison issue pink shirt, saying: "There was a water tap that was running and mixing with the blood. The ground was pink like this shirt."
Evariste Maherane is a free man. After six years awaiting trial, he confessed and apologised at a Gacaca hearing. He sits at home near Nyarubuye with his wife, children and grandson.
He remembers killing a 10-year-old Tutsi boy who had escaped from the church.
Evariste held the wounded boy, dressed in his school issue khaki shorts and shirt, by the neck and battered him with a club. Then they dug a hole and pushed the child in, still alive.
Evariste had a 10-year-old son of his own at the time, and is haunted by the memory of the Tutsi child's arms and legs flailing in the smothering earth. "It was a time of hatred. Our heads were hot. We were animals", he says.
When we last met during the genocide, Flora had a serious head wound and I thought she had suffered brain damage. A decade later she is still suffering, but is lucid in her descriptions and has forgotten nothing.
She was at Nyarubuye church. The killers, including Gitera, hacked towards her with machetes, axes and hoes. I remember Gitera telling me: "It was as if we were competing over the killing."
Flora was knocked to the ground by bodies falling on top of her and the Interahamwe assumed she was dead. Later, one of the killers spotted her moving and smashed her head with a hammer.
But she survived among the rotting corpses for over a month before being found. "They helped me to sit up and I noticed the maggots falling off me," she recalls.
Flora lost 17 members of her family in the genocide and is furious that Gitera and others are being offered freedom.
"We have been patient, we have been strong - but a killer like that? I don't believe in the death penalty, but surely he should have been locked up for good," she says.
Another girl, who Panorama is not naming, was 20 at the time of massacre. She was hiding when Mayor Gacumbitsi drove past.
"He was a friend of my father", she says: "When I saw him I thought that no harm can come to me."
But Gacumbitsi was angry. He raped her and told the six policemen to do the same. "We are going to rape you to death," she remembers him saying.
She is only alive because a Hutu man, Gacumbitsi's deputy Matthew Fashingabo, and his wife gave her shelter and smuggled her out of the country.
Why had he acted with such bravery? "Because I know that we are all human beings," he says.
Marie was captured near Nyarubuye by Hutus who took her as a sex slave and raped her more than 100 times.
Marie contracted Aids from her rapists and afterwards discovered that she was pregnant. That baby died of Aids and Marie is now in the final stages of the disease.
She says: "I don't know why this happened to me. I was a good person. It wasn't my fault I was born a Tutsi."
Wednesday, March 29
now i see.
i think i know where this is heading.
thanx for being so god damn honest.
i really appreciate it.
do i wanna go?
thanx for being so god damn honest.
i really appreciate it.
do i wanna go?
Tuesday, March 28
the ghost of a good thing
I guess it's luck, but it's the same
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said
"Love is like a role that we play."
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again
While you're chasin' ghosts
Just bend the pieces 'till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this
No, they weren't meant for this
Hard luck, you've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love, but it's like you said
"Love is like a role that we play."
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, you're chasin' the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
It's getting away from you again
While you're chasin' ghosts
Just bend the pieces 'till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren't meant for this
No, they weren't meant for this
i still am.
11.23am.
yeahh.
still nth to do.
the boss refuses to pick up my calls.
i'm listening to my ipod.
chatting on msn to whoever is online at 11.23am.
today is THE 28th of march.
yeahh.
still nth to do.
the boss refuses to pick up my calls.
i'm listening to my ipod.
chatting on msn to whoever is online at 11.23am.
today is THE 28th of march.
oracle.
work is uber uber boring.
charr got an mc on the 2nd day of work.
i've nth to do now.
cus the boss is uncontactable.
i've goen thru the chim website yest already
and i refuse to do it again.
i dunno wat's the page i'm supposed to get the info to transfer into excel
so i can't do my work.
so i've no work.
wtf.
it's been an hr plus since i'm at work. i got in at 9am sharp!!
and i'm blogging?
sheesh.
i'm missing bq.
at least it wasn't this boring.
i dun even mind standing ard for 7hrs straight.
and i could do crazy stuff with my colleagues.
i could even blame ppl (customers) when i'm in a foul mood.
i could curse them.
bitch about them.
but here,
there's no one to blame.
wat? blame the com for my utter boredom?
*rolls eye.
and it doesn't help that the boss is so nice.
i dun have the heart to blame him fo my boredom as well.
hmm..can't curse him
or bitch abt him.
haihz.
poor me.
i miss bq.
charr got an mc on the 2nd day of work.
i've nth to do now.
cus the boss is uncontactable.
i've goen thru the chim website yest already
and i refuse to do it again.
i dunno wat's the page i'm supposed to get the info to transfer into excel
so i can't do my work.
so i've no work.
wtf.
it's been an hr plus since i'm at work. i got in at 9am sharp!!
and i'm blogging?
sheesh.
i'm missing bq.
at least it wasn't this boring.
i dun even mind standing ard for 7hrs straight.
and i could do crazy stuff with my colleagues.
i could even blame ppl (customers) when i'm in a foul mood.
i could curse them.
bitch about them.
but here,
there's no one to blame.
wat? blame the com for my utter boredom?
*rolls eye.
and it doesn't help that the boss is so nice.
i dun have the heart to blame him fo my boredom as well.
hmm..can't curse him
or bitch abt him.
haihz.
poor me.
i miss bq.
Sunday, March 26
tears
didn't u wish u could look at the world through a kaleidoscope?
everything looks pretty.
even the ugly things.
and so it is.
like u said it would be.
everything looks pretty.
even the ugly things.
and so it is.
like u said it would be.
the black cat
i sat opposite the black cat,
rebuilding my walls.
thanx liz
for being awake at 330
on a sunday morning
rebuilding my walls.
thanx liz
for being awake at 330
on a sunday morning
Friday, March 24
so long sweet summer.
i hope i'm not falling for u.
i hate the winter.
it lags in time.
so long sweet summer.
i stumbled upon u.
and gratefully bask in ur rays.
i hope ur heart is always warm.
i hate the winter.
it lags in time.
so long sweet summer.
i stumbled upon u.
and gratefully bask in ur rays.
i hope ur heart is always warm.
Thursday, March 23
so damn tired.
maybe my stamina has been diminishing. i was dead tired last night. during work i was yawning away. at devil's, i was yawning away. fuck lar. why am i so tired? it's not that i haven't got enough sleep. i sleep at least 8 hrs a day..i think..except for some days when i have 5hrs..but i replenish them with longer hours on some other days; eg 12hrs. so it doesn't make sense. hmm...
i better get used to regular sleeping hrs again for next week. oracle oracle, here i come! i hope i can get up in time for work hehe. i've to report at 830am! wth! that means i've to wake up at...*gasp!* 7am!! that's like going to school. bleurgh!!!! better remind me to sleep at 10pm on sunday night. later i get fired on first day of work!!! hahahahaaaa.
meeting the sticks for dinner later..at wisma!!! i bet we'll be doing din tai fung!!!! haha it has become a perpetual ritual. but this WILL be the first time in like months since all FOUR of us have gotten together. we've all been busy with our work schedules etc. it's terrible!!! worst than jc days!! we met up more often then although i wasn't in hc with them!!! gee!
i better get used to regular sleeping hrs again for next week. oracle oracle, here i come! i hope i can get up in time for work hehe. i've to report at 830am! wth! that means i've to wake up at...*gasp!* 7am!! that's like going to school. bleurgh!!!! better remind me to sleep at 10pm on sunday night. later i get fired on first day of work!!! hahahahaaaa.
meeting the sticks for dinner later..at wisma!!! i bet we'll be doing din tai fung!!!! haha it has become a perpetual ritual. but this WILL be the first time in like months since all FOUR of us have gotten together. we've all been busy with our work schedules etc. it's terrible!!! worst than jc days!! we met up more often then although i wasn't in hc with them!!! gee!
Wednesday, March 22
show me ur blueside
the only constant is change.
how true. i see ppl leaving. moving on. drifting apart. drifting away.
can i do anything about it?
no.
i can only watch. observe. mourn. emo.
do i want to stop changes? i only want changes that make me feel good rite? changes that benefit me. changes that doesn't affect me in a bad way etc.
i guess all humans are selfish. how hard is it to put others first before self.
i wish i could keep everyone with me. but ppl grow. ppl live. ppl have their own separate futures sometimes. letting go is the hardest thing to do.
p/s: nvr tot we were so different. yet i tried so hard to bridge the gap. maybe i made the bridge up in my head afterall.
how true. i see ppl leaving. moving on. drifting apart. drifting away.
can i do anything about it?
no.
i can only watch. observe. mourn. emo.
do i want to stop changes? i only want changes that make me feel good rite? changes that benefit me. changes that doesn't affect me in a bad way etc.
i guess all humans are selfish. how hard is it to put others first before self.
i wish i could keep everyone with me. but ppl grow. ppl live. ppl have their own separate futures sometimes. letting go is the hardest thing to do.
p/s: nvr tot we were so different. yet i tried so hard to bridge the gap. maybe i made the bridge up in my head afterall.
mi chico latino
Donde esta el hombre
con fuego en la sangre
Ive got a secret.
I cannot keep it
Its just a whisper of a distant memory
Just a dream or so it seams
Take me back to the place id rather be
You left a fire in my eyes
That lightens up the darkest skies
Im giving up im letting go
I'll find my way so
Take me back to my sweet lavida
Find my love my dolce vita
Show me where i need to go
Donde esta mi chico latino
Stolen moments time has broken
My eyes ares open to this life-long mystery
And so i'll go with what i know
Take my chances and run with destiny
Now there's fire in my eyes
I'll break away and say goodbye
Im free to be im letting go
I'll find my way so
Que sueno, dolce y pequeno
Yo no se yo no se
Pero no es un cuento
Mi corazon con tormento
Chico latino te quiero y simplemente deseo
Yo lo se el camino
Es un sueno
and i tot my sat night was crazy. i totally forgot that tiesto was in kl sepang f1 circuit that night. fuck! i missed that rave. how lar?? so fuck. i HAVE to go on april 14th. but who wants to go with me??? are any of u tiesto's fans? hurry and love him!!! *grins*..*begs*..*pleads desperately*
sobx.
con fuego en la sangre
Ive got a secret.
I cannot keep it
Its just a whisper of a distant memory
Just a dream or so it seams
Take me back to the place id rather be
You left a fire in my eyes
That lightens up the darkest skies
Im giving up im letting go
I'll find my way so
Take me back to my sweet lavida
Find my love my dolce vita
Show me where i need to go
Donde esta mi chico latino
Stolen moments time has broken
My eyes ares open to this life-long mystery
And so i'll go with what i know
Take my chances and run with destiny
Now there's fire in my eyes
I'll break away and say goodbye
Im free to be im letting go
I'll find my way so
Que sueno, dolce y pequeno
Yo no se yo no se
Pero no es un cuento
Mi corazon con tormento
Chico latino te quiero y simplemente deseo
Yo lo se el camino
Es un sueno
and i tot my sat night was crazy. i totally forgot that tiesto was in kl sepang f1 circuit that night. fuck! i missed that rave. how lar?? so fuck. i HAVE to go on april 14th. but who wants to go with me??? are any of u tiesto's fans? hurry and love him!!! *grins*..*begs*..*pleads desperately*
sobx.
Monday, March 20
crazy days.
so i'm gonna work at bq this week again. only on wed fri n sat though. i think i need more rest this week. anw sat night was crazy. nvr partied so long before. after knocking off, mark (one of our managers) brought us to attica too. yay! he got us in for free. dunno who he knows inside lar.. but i think alot of ppl. dj, manager, whoever. so anw, it was house/trance/techno music lar..can't differentiate them. hahaa. so i danced house for the first time. heheeee. damn fun man!! shit. i actually like them now. we partied til 530 (closing). yana was fucking high..slightly drunk. she made me fell down with her and she burnt me on my palm. grrrrr. it has a huge blister now. damn painful. we moved on to playroom back at boat quay after where i quickly got ice to numb the pain. our dj at bq was spinning there as well. hehe everyone knows everyone. when playroom closed ard 6am, we moved on to rav opposite. i think that place nvr closes man. by that time, i was tired already but i had to wait for yana. alamak. she had still so much energy. gosh!! by the time we finally left rav, i stepped out into blinding lights cus it was freaking 8am!!! omg. BUT i had alot of drinks. for free. wheee. at bq, they made me like 4 glasses at closing. and of course during work, we had a few drinks as well. then at attice we got a jug. playroom as well. rav as well. complimentary of mark i think. or we got it free from their managers. whatever. then the dharma's chefs were damn nice on sat...they made us potato naan and mix kebab during work. yummy! no wonder all the staff at bq said they put on weight since working there. i totally understand y. drink eat drink eat. tsk tsk.
Saturday, March 18
i love my ipod
omg. i finally managed to get my ipod to work!! yay!! i can listen to my songs now. cus i dun really like radio songs..like the mainstream kind? i like the lesser known bands which are so so good...un-commerialized. not singing dumb songs like britney..(sorry i hate britney n j-lo). ok fine that was totally random. haha
anw, tonight is my supposed last night at bq. but since my new job commencement date was postponed to 27th, i dunno if i should do bq for one more week.
i submitted my application for adelaide uni on thurs. i'll know the results in 3-4 weeks. can't wait to go. it would be a good feeling to be finally living in a house again. like..actually have a space more than a room. u dunno wat it's like to be confined to a limited space for 3+ yrs. leaving would be difficult. but u know wat, leaving is better than being left behind. u dunno wat it's like to be really left behind. it's better to be lost in a new environment than be lost in familiar surroundings. have you been lost in familiar surroundings before? it's fucks. trust me. anw i need a clean fresh slate somewhere else. when a place holds too much memories, painful or otherwise, it's better to find a new niche.
anw, tonight is my supposed last night at bq. but since my new job commencement date was postponed to 27th, i dunno if i should do bq for one more week.
i submitted my application for adelaide uni on thurs. i'll know the results in 3-4 weeks. can't wait to go. it would be a good feeling to be finally living in a house again. like..actually have a space more than a room. u dunno wat it's like to be confined to a limited space for 3+ yrs. leaving would be difficult. but u know wat, leaving is better than being left behind. u dunno wat it's like to be really left behind. it's better to be lost in a new environment than be lost in familiar surroundings. have you been lost in familiar surroundings before? it's fucks. trust me. anw i need a clean fresh slate somewhere else. when a place holds too much memories, painful or otherwise, it's better to find a new niche.
Wednesday, March 15
busy like fucks
wahh. last night at bq was fucking busy man. i ran ard non stop ordering n serving drinks and it was only a tues. u know effin y? cus 2 of my collegues cleverly pon work. super under-staffed yest. so tiring. but everyone was nice to me lar..like they knew it was busy for me so they helped me out alot..except for one lar....the bitch being bitchy as usual..but i'm so used to her moody-pms-tempers that i was like..watever lar. immune already. haha.
luckily my colleague gave me drinks to calm me down. and lessen the stress. hehe (:
i shan't dilly-dally anymore. i'll just go down to idp later before work at 6 larrr. apply to aust. oh fuck. i need to leave soon before their office closes.
luckily my colleague gave me drinks to calm me down. and lessen the stress. hehe (:
i shan't dilly-dally anymore. i'll just go down to idp later before work at 6 larrr. apply to aust. oh fuck. i need to leave soon before their office closes.
Tuesday, March 14
happy!
i dunno y but things have been looking great for me these days. i'm happy. not happy-pills happy. not alcohol-induced happy. not fagging happy. not weed happy. just happy (:
went to check out oracle yest with charr. we saw our office. our very own desks with coms and all. i have to sit next to charr for the next 3 months..*faints* i've to see her face every single day for the next 3 months except for weekends..*phew! hehe. omg. the pantry is filled with so many many drinks. and we can help ourselves to anything. the bloody fridge is filled to brim. wheeee. karim (our boss) is super nice and friendly as well. i can't wait. all i've to do is shop for office wear!!!! hahaa. btw, it really is 1500/mth. yay!
after oracle-contract-signing, i went to work at bq. i was 30mins late cus i didn't know lunch shift had no 30min allowance for makan. oops! but they were ok about it. lunch shift is super slack. i had a good time laughing at and with din and fozy. haha. they danced. din flared ridiculously and sang at the tops of his lungs. hilarious. i'm gonna miss bq ppl lar. this week is gonna be my last. then i helped them cut lime and lemons behind the bar for the drinks. they let me serve drinks from the nozzle-thing. damn fun to play. let me fill the beer from the tap. and i was like...shit!! i dunno how to make the foam-like thing. hahaa. i like working lunch shift man. hehe. when i clocked off at 8pm, i decided to treat myself to lamb kebab. got 20% discount wat. but daniel signed it for me so i got the lamb kebab for free. of course i shared half with my colleagues. *grins*
i'm super contented with life right now. whoever said school life was better than now, must be nuts!!! i'm loving my life now. bum, holiday, work, slack, shop, club, dance, drink, bars, pubs, sleepovers, work, kl, fags, alcohol, work. rocks.
went to check out oracle yest with charr. we saw our office. our very own desks with coms and all. i have to sit next to charr for the next 3 months..*faints* i've to see her face every single day for the next 3 months except for weekends..*phew! hehe. omg. the pantry is filled with so many many drinks. and we can help ourselves to anything. the bloody fridge is filled to brim. wheeee. karim (our boss) is super nice and friendly as well. i can't wait. all i've to do is shop for office wear!!!! hahaa. btw, it really is 1500/mth. yay!
after oracle-contract-signing, i went to work at bq. i was 30mins late cus i didn't know lunch shift had no 30min allowance for makan. oops! but they were ok about it. lunch shift is super slack. i had a good time laughing at and with din and fozy. haha. they danced. din flared ridiculously and sang at the tops of his lungs. hilarious. i'm gonna miss bq ppl lar. this week is gonna be my last. then i helped them cut lime and lemons behind the bar for the drinks. they let me serve drinks from the nozzle-thing. damn fun to play. let me fill the beer from the tap. and i was like...shit!! i dunno how to make the foam-like thing. hahaa. i like working lunch shift man. hehe. when i clocked off at 8pm, i decided to treat myself to lamb kebab. got 20% discount wat. but daniel signed it for me so i got the lamb kebab for free. of course i shared half with my colleagues. *grins*
i'm super contented with life right now. whoever said school life was better than now, must be nuts!!! i'm loving my life now. bum, holiday, work, slack, shop, club, dance, drink, bars, pubs, sleepovers, work, kl, fags, alcohol, work. rocks.
Sunday, March 12
stop. jealous. bitch.
wat a jealous bitch. i am shocked. it's true wat they say. luckily, i didn't give in. yet i'm still embarassed. wtf. hopefully, i'll nvr see them again ever. no bumping in the streets. no mutual frens' parties etc. *crosses fingers*
time to forget and just forget.
time to forget and just forget.
Saturday, March 11
theory.
some are physical attraction. infatuation. lust.
some are for good conversations. confidantes. ppl who listen. make u smile n laugh.
some are both. and these are for keeps. ppl u really fall for. ppl u'll always rmb.
some are for good conversations. confidantes. ppl who listen. make u smile n laugh.
some are both. and these are for keeps. ppl u really fall for. ppl u'll always rmb.
Thursday, March 9
awesome.
it's been awhile. was so caught up wiht my life. results came out on the 1st. no feelings watsoever. i tot i may be anxious, disappointed, sad, happy, watever after i get my results but no..before and after collecting my results, i've got no feeling. it's weird and i dunno why. perhaps cus it really doesn't mean anything to me. i've got no one to let down or make proud of. only my ownself. my own expectations. and since i have none, it really didn't bother me. BUT i should be happy cus i got aabb and b3. it's ok i guess. great compared to my 2 yrs in college but paled to most of my frens. but i dun give a fuck. and i get super annoyed when ppl start comparing. like...why do u care so much?? i can't even rmb any of the stuff i learnt.
then me liz nic went zouk on that night of results. clever clever me. since both of them got straight As, i made them pay for everything that night. cab fare and drinks. haha it helped that i was the one keeping all their money in my pockets. *grins* so i ordered 4tequila shots, 4lychee martinis, 2seabreeze, 2vodkasprite. luckily it was still one-4-one. (: nic's mom was super sweet. when we got home that night, we saw secret recipe cakes!!! cheesecake!!! 8slices!!!! awww man! cus we did well for alevels.
worked at bq on thurs. most fucking stressful time of my life. karan was leaving..as in resigning..so it was his farewell party thing. first of all, there were alot of ppl streaming in..(the regulars) to send him off. and they get like free drinks, on the house. that was already madness. then at 8pm, they decided that EVERYONE should get free drinks!!!! like bloody anyone freaking stranger that walks into bq and orders and bloody drink..it's on the house. can u imagine the customers' shock and glee? they honestly ordered like mad. it was impossible to keep track who ordered wat etc. and the bloody freeloaders got the cheek to scold us for wrong drinks. it's bloody free..so just take it. stop complaining. i cried man it tell u. gosh. thank god i left for kl the next day.
hitched a ride home to kl on fri with jon n his frens (jonas and ian?) yeah....slept thru out the drive home cus i was freaking shagged from the previous night. the week in kl was awesome. it was a good break from work and work and work. btw, i ended my tele job. officially. so it was mounts of session of fagging n boozing. just chilling and reminiscing. talking and sharing. thats wat really rocks man. just booze ciggs and a whole lot of talking. that's my idea of chilling. haha. did alot of crazy shit lar. went up god-knows-how-many-storeys of stairs to the water pump to smoke. climbing bb wall to chill in their basketball court?? gosh. wat was i thinking?? btw absolut vodka kurant with ribena rocks man! wonderful meeting hasbe b4 she left. it's always crazy times with her. needless to say, food rocked. all my cravings for nasi lemak, roti canai, banana leaf rice, goreng pisang, asam laksa, hokkien mee, cantonese kway teow have been met. i'm happy. talked to kienji on the phone. it has been ages since i last spoke to him n even longer since we met. hilarious talking to him. good old frens are always able to pick up where we left the last time, no matter how long ago.
so today i'm back in sg. meeting charr n carol later. it's been ages since i last saw them as well. it'll be great catching up. gonna pop by bq for dinner. and get served there for once. haha. nic's working there. would be cool making her serve me!!!!! *grins* gonna stay over charr's place. omg. it's been so so long. it feels good to bum ard. work when i want to. chill when i want to. a job for tai-tais. damn.
then me liz nic went zouk on that night of results. clever clever me. since both of them got straight As, i made them pay for everything that night. cab fare and drinks. haha it helped that i was the one keeping all their money in my pockets. *grins* so i ordered 4tequila shots, 4lychee martinis, 2seabreeze, 2vodkasprite. luckily it was still one-4-one. (: nic's mom was super sweet. when we got home that night, we saw secret recipe cakes!!! cheesecake!!! 8slices!!!! awww man! cus we did well for alevels.
worked at bq on thurs. most fucking stressful time of my life. karan was leaving..as in resigning..so it was his farewell party thing. first of all, there were alot of ppl streaming in..(the regulars) to send him off. and they get like free drinks, on the house. that was already madness. then at 8pm, they decided that EVERYONE should get free drinks!!!! like bloody anyone freaking stranger that walks into bq and orders and bloody drink..it's on the house. can u imagine the customers' shock and glee? they honestly ordered like mad. it was impossible to keep track who ordered wat etc. and the bloody freeloaders got the cheek to scold us for wrong drinks. it's bloody free..so just take it. stop complaining. i cried man it tell u. gosh. thank god i left for kl the next day.
hitched a ride home to kl on fri with jon n his frens (jonas and ian?) yeah....slept thru out the drive home cus i was freaking shagged from the previous night. the week in kl was awesome. it was a good break from work and work and work. btw, i ended my tele job. officially. so it was mounts of session of fagging n boozing. just chilling and reminiscing. talking and sharing. thats wat really rocks man. just booze ciggs and a whole lot of talking. that's my idea of chilling. haha. did alot of crazy shit lar. went up god-knows-how-many-storeys of stairs to the water pump to smoke. climbing bb wall to chill in their basketball court?? gosh. wat was i thinking?? btw absolut vodka kurant with ribena rocks man! wonderful meeting hasbe b4 she left. it's always crazy times with her. needless to say, food rocked. all my cravings for nasi lemak, roti canai, banana leaf rice, goreng pisang, asam laksa, hokkien mee, cantonese kway teow have been met. i'm happy. talked to kienji on the phone. it has been ages since i last spoke to him n even longer since we met. hilarious talking to him. good old frens are always able to pick up where we left the last time, no matter how long ago.
so today i'm back in sg. meeting charr n carol later. it's been ages since i last saw them as well. it'll be great catching up. gonna pop by bq for dinner. and get served there for once. haha. nic's working there. would be cool making her serve me!!!!! *grins* gonna stay over charr's place. omg. it's been so so long. it feels good to bum ard. work when i want to. chill when i want to. a job for tai-tais. damn.
Wednesday, March 8
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