the past

ok i admit it! i miss cjch a lot even though the authorities may seem unreasonable at times [alrite..many times] but it's jus so fun to be there! rather than ere [vh] i dun like it that everythign is so sleek n new n nice!!! ugghh! i miss the ppl, my frens in cjch lar..although we're all in diff places now..some still in s'pore but diff hostels..some in us? in indo? in m'sia? haihz...far far away!

things will not be the same..i mean we're all leading our own diff lifes in diff jcs n all..memories of those times in cjch will remain with me forever..all the good frens i've made..tz was jus telling me last nite how he missed cjch as well..the whole m'sian sec4/2003 bunch n all the juniors n seniors...haihz...

a few cherished memories of cjch n it'z peeps..

4th floor laundry area:
me n wanxin had a long long talk there one night...we talked about our lives, hopes n dreams til the next morning...it felt good telling someone ur worries n aspirations at the same time..sharing our thoughts on life n wondering wat life is all about! (:

wooden benches outside:
ahh..many many bittersweet memories ere. the view from ere at night is jus so so beautiful...u can see stars [i spend some time with my frens trying to count da stars on clear nights :)] i've shed so many tears ere...i've laughed countless times at my frens' lame jokes ere..i've pondered on life ere...i've de-stressed ere when i jus felt i couldn't take school anymore...ppl have played guitar n sang songs for me ere..i've sang songs ere too...watch boys playing soccer n basketball ere in da evenings...shared gossips..updated poi with my day at school...taken many pics ere too...the list can go on n on (:

wateva it is...i'll always cherish the frens i've made there n da wonderful friendships that blossomed!!! i miss u peepz so damn much!!!!!! we must must keep in touch!

lalala....

ooh..didn't get to meet liz n ser to get nic's b'day prezzie in the end..haha..alamak! it's so hard just to set a date to meet together..we all seem busy every single day haihz! nic better appreciate all the trouble we r going tru jus to get her present n i promised her it won't be lingerie like last year!!!! haha ;)

so anyway i met teikzhen n yee kiat today at lucky plaza to play pool :) waahh..long time nvr play liao...hehe! so fun! had a good time! managed to catch up on each other's life while playing oso lar..it's good to meet up with old frens! haihz :)

b4 dat met li jayne [finally! after her 3 weeks ere in s'pore...] n jo [of cuz]..had a great "lunch" at nydc!!! more like dessert since wat i had was only the boney cake n hot mocha elephancino...yummy!!! nydc so so rocks! haha...basically that was how i spent my fourth straigth day at orchard road! i'm so sick n tired of that place..i've been to practically all the shops n bought all the stuff that i wanted n that was affordable at the same time! hahaha....got kumaran's prezzie too..i owe him cus i forgot his birthday!!! haha....wat nonsense! i'm going to stay away from orchard this week liao....hehe at least i'll try too lar! *grinz*

busy busy week...

hmmm..let's see...

tues- black eyed peas
wed- mass support for soccer
thurs- watch troy [damn good]
fri- "class outing" hehe..bought a zara skirt (:

i've been out til late every single day n i'm so drained out..so so tired lar...zZZzzZZ

n coming up....tentatively...

today- meet poi n jo
sun- meet liz n ser to get nic's prezzie!
mon- water training
tues- land training n meet up with ex-cjch m'sians sec4/2003!!! yay! (:
wed- water training
thurs- land training
fri- water training

haihz..where da hell do i have time to study? ahhhhhhhh.... :(

i love black eyed peas

wheee!!! i was so excited bout black eyed peas concert last tues! hey mama! they were damn good! haha really entertaining on stage n fergie could really shake her ass! but i'm a little disappointed with the crowd tho..they were like lack of enthusiasm man! haihz...i was like outta my seat with liz..dancing our hearts away n shaking our booties [haha!] n practically more than half of the other ppl in the indoor stadium jus sat on their cushioned seats!!! i mean c'mon man! this is a concert! u pay money to party! u dun jus come n stone in ur seats!!! hello?!?! so whenever i turned around behind me..i jus see ppl stoning in their seats staring at us dancing like omigosh! how can those two gals jus dance in public?...n u know in a concert..to have fun u gotta have that energetic atmosphere in da air..the one where ppl jump up n down n dance to the music? sing along with the group? n have tons of fun? yeah basically energy was missing in that concert n it was not because of black eyed peas being boring or watever..they r not! jus that the crowd were really not expressive at all [til the last song 'where is the love?' when everyone stood up n sang along!!!]

could tell that even black eyed peas were pissed n disappointed with the crowd...they were asking ppl to get outta their freaking seats n dance but obviously very lil ppl did! they even commented that thailand [where they were the day before] had more energy than s'pore! even the many many angmohs who made up half of the crowd jus sat in their seats!!! i mean i tot they were da wild n enthu ones!!! i guess not! there was one point in the concert where black eyed peas were trying to get the crowd to move by asking them to raise their hands n wave!!! haha..it's like so funny!!!! cus i mean they hafta teach us how to party!!!! oh they actually sweared on stage too..mother fucking! dance! yeah see..they were pissed!!!

haihz...i guess one factor was there were like primary school kids around with their parents!! haha i was really surprised n amused before the concert started to see kids! with their parents in their 40s!!! i was like did they think this was disney on ice? hahaha...could tell parents were shaking their heads..disapproving of fergie's suggestive n sexy dancing n the language black eyed peas used!!! but wat the hell...y on earth did they bring their kids ere? it's a freaking concert man!!! u gotta have a certain level of openness n maturity n exposure to enjoy man!!!

so i guess i could have enjoyed the concert more if the crowd was much much lively!!! hence...i dun dare waste my money on linkinpark's concert ere cus i guess the atmosphere n da crowd would be similiar...heh! on the other hand..incubus concert last year was freaking fun n full of energy...danced so much n sweated so much..hehe..burnt calories there!!! oh yeah n wateva the journalist in Life!-the straits times wrote about the concert a few days ago was not true! cus i was there n i tell u energy was not in the air among the crowd, contrary to those who performed on stage.

*frowns*

i can't believe how slack i am this year...didn't actually realise how bad i've become at sch til duck told me yesterday on da bus..i mean i knew i had been super slack n all [not doing tutorials n not listening in lectures] but the fact nvr really hit me sooo hard in da face until a fren actually comes up to u n tell u straight in the face that u've been slack n u should buck up! ahhh!!!! but isn't it a little too late now since exams r really soon..n i'm super busy these coming 3 weeks that i dun see how da hell am i gonna cramp 5 months of lessons into my head in about a week? ): damn!

yay! vj soccer rocks!

wheeee!!! woohoo!!! vj beat sa 4-1 to win the soccer nationals today!!!! yay!!! :) damn proud of u guys man!!!! haha u rock!!!! so so happy....happy happy day....lalalalalaalalalalalalalalalalalalalala ;) *losing my voice from all those cheering* can't believe mrs chan cancelled everything in sch so the whole sch could go down to support our wonderful soccer guys!!!!!! damn happening sia....

hmmm?

Aphrodite/Eros


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

is it really?

and i ask myself one last time...

am i really over you?

am i going to forget all those good times we shared?

am i going to stop longing for time to turn back?

am i going to stop missing you?

YES.

confused...

i'm confused. wat makes me think i can actually cope with all this workload n live up to all these expectations?

i was here by "default" [i dunno if it's da right expression to use but i feel tt way].. i was given the word that i could leave this place n go home..but circumstances in the end didn't allow my wish to come true. so i feel as if i'm suffocating in this place..tryin to find fresh air n breathe life into my soul. can i eventually succeed n find niche for myself?

but then again, promises, more often than not, are always broken. so wat if i was given the word to escape this island? i might still be here watever happened. i'm so used to this cycle of ppl breaking promises made to me. WHY?

sorry?

i know i've done wrong many times in my life. i know i've hurt u in one way or another. i know it's my fault now but back then i didn't. i wanna apologise but i can't bring myself to it. it's not because of pride. i jus dun wanna bring up da past..it'z been such a long time...months or maybe years...if i do bring up this topic, it'll only hurt both parties n all these efforts of forgetting the past would be gone to waste! but i do feel guilty n when u r bitchy or ignoring me or basically jus being mean to me, i feel hurt n sad..but i know i started it...so it'z my fault n i dun blame u for the way u behave and act towards me.

jus wish i wasn't so selfish last time. jus wish things could ...jus wish..jus wishing.

i miss u -blink 182

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you I miss you)
(I miss you I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head (miss you miss you)

:(

how come i've got so much homework? n tests? n mid years?

drifting apart

u gotta admit it. we're not as close as we used to be. will our friendships last? ten years down the road, would we still giggle and laugh and gossip like our old school days? will we still share our secrets and laugh at ourselves? would we still be bitching around? do we still have a connection between us? wat lies ahead?
r we gonna be invited to each other's weddings? to our kids' weddings? tell me..how long will we remain friends? there are so many changes..we meet new ppl n we move on...some old friends are forgotten but some are kept and treasured forever...

[we find less things in common...we find we dun understand each other as well as last time...we miss each other but we can't help drifting apart in our busy schedules]

i miss u

i'm someone who finds it hard to let go. when i was in pri school, i cried cus i missed my kindergarten days. in sec sch, i missed my pri days so badly n wished i could play all day long with my friends again. when i came to s'pore in sec 3, i missed assunta so damn much n everyone else at home n cried to sleep the 1st night in cjch. and now in vj, i miss scgs alot n da secured environment i was used to in cjch. that is me. hard to let go. hate changes.

sigh*

so mid years r like jus around da corner yah? so stress..stress...stress...i mean i dun noe wat the heck they've been toking about in lectures for the year!!! wow...so so amazed at how slack i am this year..dunno watz wrong with me man..stop doing tutorials since god knows when! in scgs, i was more hardworking..i actually did my hw man!!!! hah!
maybe it's this place i'm in..it ain't exactly condusive [chui fen is not ere to encourage me] ..maybe i'm still adjusting..trying to find niche for me in this strange place....maybe i jus can't cope? maybe it's influence...maybe cuz there's no one to push me harder...maybe..jus maybe...

away from the sun...

It's down to this
I've got to make this life make sense
Can anyone tell what I've done
I miss the life
I miss the colors of the world
Can anyone tell where I am

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun again
Away from the sun again

I'm over this
I'm tired of living in the dark
Can anyone see me down here
The feeling's gone
There's nothing left to lift me up
Back into the world I know

'Cause now again I've found myself
So far down, away from the sun
That shines into the darkest place
I'm so far down, away from the sun
That shines to light the way for me
To find my way back into the arms
That care about the ones like me
I'm so far down, away from the sun again

a first time

so i guees there's a first for everything..today is my first time using a blog..usually i use diaryland but this templates ere look really cute n pretty :) today was also my first time dragonboat-ing..my first time out for lunch with sarah [my kayaking partner] n her two really funny n entertaining frens! haha..today had a lot of firsts for me!
i was also very annoyed at some ppl in dragonboat..i'm kinda put in charge by mr yong for da dragonboat gals n these 2 new gals really have no respect at all...they r really rude n all..dun listen when the coach is teaching the proper techniques etc. AND they brought these 2 gals for training...they have not even told mr yong! no one knows that another 2 EXTRA gals were coming...so we did not have enough place in da dragonboat...i was super pissed..i mean have u met anyone so irresponsible? i dunno whether to complain to mr yong about this...i dun wanna sound so prissy n all...i dunno