hihi!!

so. the exams and essays are finally over. obviously this is a good thing because i can take it easy now and relax. been living quite fast since monday; drinking, partying, clubbing, dotain, meeting up with people. but a side effect of not having any work to worry about is the realization that i will be leaving VERY soon. 11 days to be exact. shit. will just try to seize the day, treasure and live for every moment that i still have in good ol' singapore.

anyway off to tioman tomorrow. yay!

i am so unprepared for today's coming exam. and here i am blogging. bah. shit. wish me luck man.. less than 10hrs left.

three words. the universal solution to any problem:

"ah fuck it"

plug the holes and seal the leaks. this ship is staying afloat.

la da di da la da di da. im emo. its 4am. spent almost the whole day at home. at least im finally done with all my essays.

wheres that bottle of chivas? ah! there it is!

confuciusisconfusingmeandihavenoideawhatimtalkingaboutorwhyimpostingthisutternonsenseandgibberish

shakespearean voice:
"to be or not to be... tha..."

NO!

the question is: WHAT TO DO!???

emotions are a really funny thing. you think you can control them, and i can for the most part. but once they break through they really run amok.

i never intended to be in a such a position. to let yourself end up here is just plain stupid. or am i wrong to think this way?

steering clear of the cliff edge; something ive ALWAYS been able to do, but now its seems i must have tripped over a rock and stumbled over the edge. whats at the bottom of the cliff? im scared to know honestly. one thing for certain, it would mean change. for better or worse i really dont know, but its a risk i dare not take. so now clinging i am clingin onto that proverbial root jutting from the cliff, and trying to get back up. or should i just let go and take the plunge?? ah fuck i dont know.

lamb to the slaughter...

to all those also going sydney, i hope you dont become fatsos. forgot to add that to the list, not nice, nono it isnt. sad man, otherwise good looking people often comeback... less good looking. haha im damn mean la!

imagine what andre would be like if he lived in australia. omg.. zzz. sorry la i know it is a bit out-of-point but "andre" and "fat" tend to go together so,, ya la. =p

So, right now it looks like the probability of me going to sydney is 0.99. It will probably become 1.0 within the next one or two weeks.

i have seriously mixed feelings. why cant i take the positive outlook like a lot of my friends who seem raring to go? is it because ive been uprooted so many times in my life that i'm tired of it? or is it because i fear i might be leaving somethings behind for good? dunno laaa...


OK. looking at it logically:

+freedom (i have that in singapore)
+make new friends (tiring)
+sex? (not a priority)
+beaches
+overseas experience (enough of that already)
+subsidised overseas experience
+will still spend at least three months per year in spore (shows my attitude huh?)
+ysl

-away from home
-away from family
-away from friends
-away from pets
-no car
-have to make new friends
-sydney is relatively unsafe
-shops close at 5
-sun sets at 5

so looking back, the only real valid positives are the nice beaches, ysl, and the fact that my parents are gonna pay a bit less than other international students.

argh! im so negative! how the hell im i gonna mentally (and physically) prepare to move, and finish 2 major essays and study for my exams at the same time? what a mess.