30

When I graduated from PA school I was 23.  For the first few years of work when people would ask me how old I was, I would lie.  I would tell them I was 28.  It seemed believable and more mature. Soooo I'm turning 30 this week.  THHHIIIRRRTTYY.  And the thing is, I really feel like 30 is young. Real young.  About 4 years ago I was at book club and a friend was telling everyone how she was freaking out about turning 30 and I remember thinking that 30 was not a big deal.  I couldn't figure out what there was to freak out about.  But now that it is me...I've been thinking. (A dangerous past time...I know) I'm kind of feeling weird about it. The other day I was going to listen to music and I hovered over my itunes and ugh...I'm sick of all my music and I needed to listen to something new...and cool?  I went to spotify...not pandora...because my younger siblings use spotify and I am trying to stay up on things and not fall too far behind the times. Anyway, I get to spotify and start to try to find music and I think I gotta call Garrett and find out who he is listening to. Garrett is 17 and he is my guru on all things hip these days...you know...what the kids are doin.  A typical conversation between G and I goes like this:
Me: Hey G nice hair...Is that what the kids are wearin these days?
G: uh sure
Me: soo do you like my shirt
G: uh I guess...yea it's cool
Me: soooo you think I look cool
G: nah, you're a mom. you can't be cool anymore.

Anyway, so back to my day trying to find music...then G's words come to me and I realize..to a certain degree he's right.  This is where the real deep thoughts start.  I started thinking about clothes and trends.  Half the time I can't even figure out what is "in style" these days and don't know how to walk the fine line of wearing things that are in style that is somewhere between trying to dress like a teenager and looking like I am wearing "mom jeans". Except that I am a mom...right?! So where does that leave me?  Forever 21...is it time to let that go? Can a 30 year old "shop responsibly" there?  Then the thought comes, my kids will be embarrassed of me when they get older no matter what I wear.  Then I start thinking about about the 80's and how our mom's were still up on the trends when they were rocking the banana clips and getting perms and using those little circular shirt clip thingys. I am feeling like thirty is a weird point where you can become frumpy or not. Then I get back to thinking about music and wondering if wanting to find new bands and songs means I am trying too hard and denying the reality of aging.   Then I start thinking about how weird it is that Mark Whalberg is no longer the heart throb in the movies and now he is the dad.   Then I go ahead and have diarrhea of the mouth about all this stuff to Rich. Anndd..............he just stares at me for a second or two (I can't really blame him...how does one reply to insanity) and then he says, "Maybe you should make a blog called 30 and popular and then you can decide what is cool for 30 year olds."  It is at that moment when I realized, I am being ridiculous.  And honestly I don't know why I am publishing all this nonsense, except I have been thinking about it.

Maybe what I am trying to say is I don't know how to age gracefully.  And also sort of that I didn't really plan my life much beyond thirty.  I have vivid memories of being a kid and fantasizing about when I would be 16 and 25.  Those seemed like prime ages (and in my fantasy I was always wearing fabulous lime green leggings and an oversized aqua blue sweatshirt...don't ask me why.) Now I am turning thirty and I guess I need to start fantasizing about what I want to be when I am 40 or 56 or 82.  Lime green leggings and an oversized aqua blue sweatshirt???  Maybe that is the key.

Anybody have any aging advice for me?

 Mammie gave Charlotte a barbie that used to be Nana's barbie.  Charlotte has turned into a hermit in an effort to have more barbie playing time.

 We went to San Francisco for a family reunion and it was fabulous!!

 Cousin love

 Second cousin love

 Sausalito (I can't say it without saying like the old pepperidge farm cookie commercials)  Also, Charlotte was shaking her head and trying to avoid having her picture taken...punk

 I was insisting on trying a french macaroon...never had one before and SF seemed like a good place to look for one.  Twas good.

 Happy 32nd birthday to Richard...glad you aren't having some kind of weird identity crisis.  32 and popular.

 My cupcakes for Rich's birthday did not travel well. Rich called them "f" cupcakes...the f can mean whatever you would like ;)